The Luckiest
by SEEKER-2000
Summary: Maxie Jones and Damien Spinelli just didn't want to be alone that night. Both were unlucky in love. When things get complicated, will their fortunes change? Spinmax / Spixie COMPLETE
1. Lover I Don't Have to Love

The Luckiest

Chapter 1: Lover I Don't Have to Love

This will be a mistake.

That was all she could think. Something about the way the her sweater fit, the way she had tied her shoes, the small chip in her nail polish that made her think that this night was going to end badly. It was as if a small whisper called her from the next day saying to just stay in bed, to not leave her home.

Maxie Jones never took anyone's advice though, especially when it could benefit her.

Well, except for the advice that came from Georgie. Sometimes Maxie would listen to her, or at least keep it in mind.

But Georgie was dead now, wasn't she?

It was night, almost ten o'clock. When Maxie had laid down to sleep an hour ago she had been exhausted, but as soon as her eyelids closed she felt Georgie's presence everywhere. The person who ripped her sister coldly from the world was still out there, probably sleeping very well. _It should have been me_, Maxie thought to herself. _He didn't kill me so he took the person that stopped him._ Her sister's death hadn't hurt this much since the funeral. Nothing had changed since that time, either. No one seemed any closer to catching this monster.

So, that was why Maxie found herself throwing her clothes back on and heading out the door into the cold night. It was time that alternative action was taken to finding her sister's killer. At least that was the reason she told herself she was heading to the particular address in mind.

Maybe she just didn't want to be alone.

----

The penthouse was really quiet. Spinelli had the place to himself, much to his dismay. He didn't like being alone. The silence bothered him. Jason had left for the evening mysteriously and said he wouldn't be back until morning. He had been doing this more and more often, taking off for a secret destination, leaving Spinelli wondering where his friend was going but knowing better than to ask.

On such occasions as this, Spinelli found himself spending more time on the internet than usual. He was really trying to find something about Cooper Barrett that might indicate that he was the murderer that Georgie believed him to be. It was becoming exhausting though. He had originally been enthused about trying to find out who was ruining the lives of people he knew. That energy was drained with each passing thought about how the fair Georgie perhaps would have been alive if he hadn't been so blind to her affections for him.

He wasn't going to make that mistake again though. It was time to try and move on from his foolish crush on Lulu. The next time someone who wanted him came into his life, he wouldn't let her get away.

A knock at the door drug him from his thoughts. A little startled due to the late hour, Spinelli quietly snuck to the peep hole to get a look at the person who came calling at such a time. He had mixed reactions when he discovered that the person was Maxie Jones. True, she wasn't a threatening presence, but she wasn't his favorite person. Why would she be coming to see him?

"Evening, Bad Blonde One," Spinelli stated, using his most common nickname for Maxie out of habit more than hostility. She didn't look like she wanted to be messed with and Spinelli instantly regretted calling her that name. It was obvious that Georgie wasn't far from her mind either.

"Sorry I'll keep the nicknames to a minimum since The Jackal...I mean... I can see that you are upset," he apologized opening the door more so that she could come in. She glanced around the room as if she were looking for something. "Can I help you, Maxie?"

Maxie moved over to the couch, sitting her bag down heavily. "Is Jason here?"

"No..."

"Good. I don't want you to get all Cold Stone distracted on me."

Spinelli decided not to correct her on the misuse of Jason's other name. "What do you want?"

He walked over to the couch and moved his laptop out of the way so that he could sit next to her. She stared at him for a minute with pursed lips. Spinelli thought for a second that she was trying to think of the right thing to say, but he was wrong. Maxie's jaw quivered and he saw that she was actually concentrating on not crying in front of him. A little taken aback by her sudden emotion, Spinelli tried to assure her that it was okay and he patted her knee gently. She wiped her eyes quickly and took a deep breath.

"Look, I've never been that nice to you, I know that...I'm trying though, I really am..." she rambled.

"Well...I mean...a lot of people aren't nice to me..." Spinelli tried to sound light hearted to keep the awkwardness of the situation down to a minimum.

Maxie laughed a little. "It's because you're so damned weird, Spin."

He laughed too. "I know..."

It was nice to sit there and talk to someone again. It was like when it was just he and Lulu, before Logan ruined it all, and it was like Georgie too. The fact that he was actually laughing with Maxie made it all the stranger. Something was different about her tonight though...Maybe this was the side that Georgie that had always swore existed.

"Well, as I was saying...I need your help." Maxie said, serious again. "I'm not patient enough for the police to figure out who killed my sister. I mean, Mac and the rest of the police are trying, but I'm not willing to ignore other ways...I have to do something. I thought maybe you would help me."

Spinelli shuffled a little. "You really didn't want to hear what I had to say a few days ago..." he trailed off.

Maxie sighed frustrated. "Because you are accusing Coop of being her killer! It's ridiculous."

"Would you at least let me explain my reasoning?"

Maxie considered for a moment. "What is it?"

Spinelli scrambled for his laptop, bringing up the files about the mysterious death of a woman by strangulation in the time that Cooper and Logan were in Iraq. He pushed the laptop closer to her so that she could get a good look. She read the story with wide eyes. Suddenly, she pushed the laptop away roughly.

"Nope. No, that's not important. I mean, it's a war. Things happen. It proves nothing."

Spinelli bowed his head and decided that informing Maxie of any other suspicions would fall on deaf ears. "If you don't want to consider all the options then --"

"No, I do," Maxie interrupted. "I'll consider all the options that won't waste my time. My sister's death isn't going to be for nothing. Now, what else can you come up with?"

Spinelli bit his tongue and tried to not stir up Maxie anymore. They were being pretty descent to one another for a change, and for an important cause. Nothing should have gotten in the way of that right now.

"Uhhm...Well...I guess we could try to brainstorm other things." Spinelli said calmly.

Maxie started to remove her heavy pea coat. "Yeah. Let's do that." Tossing her jacked on top of her bag, Maxie wasn't aware of the strange look that Spinelli was giving her.

"Um...Maxie?"

"Yes?" Maxie inquired turning her attention back on Spinelli.

Spinelli pointed to the sweater she was wearing. It was pale blue and she had found it in hamper a few days ago, not remembering that she had ever bought it. Maxie scanned it over looking for a stain or an odd hole somewhere that would explain Spinelli's strange look.

"Isn't that Georgie's sweater?" He said, trying to sound casual, going back to typing on his laptop.

It was as if someone had slapped her across the face. She looked, horrified, at the fabric that covered her.

"Oh..."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Maxie pulled the pea coat back over her frame so that she couldn't see the pale blue screaming at her anymore. Burying her face in her hands, Maxie sobbed.

"She's everywhere, Spinelli." Spinelli watched the crumpling form, trying not to allow the burning in his eyes to take over. When Maxie flung herself into his chest, Spinelli gently pat her back.

"I know." He whispered.

Maxie voice was a little muffled but he could make out what she was saying. "I'm sorry I'm crying like this, you don't even like me."

Spinelli frowned. "I don't really know you Maxie."

"She had so much in such a small lifetime, Spinelli. I mean, she was going to go to school in Europe! I could never do that. I would be too afraid to leave everything behind. Not Georgie though," Maxie cried, shaking her head. Spinelli tilted his cheek down onto the top of Maxie's head, not feeling strange about this at all.

"She was a wise and loyal friend," he found himself saying, not really even knowing what that meant. Wise and loyal weren't even the appropriate words. They were too shallow.

"She was brave, too. Georgie lived like I wish I could. She didn't hurt people. I was jealous of her for years when I saw how happy Dillon made her. They were a force to watch. I'll never be happy like she was."

That saddened Spinelli more than he thought possible, and when his arms pulled Maxie towards his chest tighter he couldn't help but feel utterly alone. This was very weird, Maxie opening up to him, he feeling for her.

"And she...she never wanted anything but the best for me. She's the only one, too. Enough people called me a whore that I thought that's all I was, except when Georgie said that I was worth something more. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." Spinelli didn't know if Maxie was even talking to him anymore.

"Maxie, shhh..." Spinelli kind of rocked her in his arms. Her crying became weaker and weaker, and she seemed to relax. Her arms actually pulled out of his hold and snaked around his neck, her new embrace allowing for a few tears to soak into his shirt. He could feel her eyelashes tickling his neck every time she blinked. Spinelli felt her shift a little as she turned her head a little to look up at him.

He glanced down at her but didn't keep eye contact, afraid. Of what, he didn't know. Something pulled his eyes into any direction but the way that led into her gaze. Her breath was hot on his throat, each exhale tickling him and sending a goose bumps down his arms. Maxie's hand was suddenly touching his cheek, and he felt a small bit of pressure on his neck. Spinelli realized shocked that she had just kissed him there.

"Maxie, what are you doing? I...thought we were going to brainstorm..." Spinelli tried to gently push Maxie off of him, but she just shook her head with a desperate look in her eyes.

Instead of being pushed away, she pressed another quick kiss into his neck before tilting his head and kissing him for real. Spinelli was paralyzed and didn't push her away. Breaking from him quickly, she readjusted herself on the couch, grabbing his face with both hands, forcing him to look right into her eyes.

"Don't think," She begged, shaking her head, kissing him quickly then breaking away again.. "Just, don't think."

When her lips met his again, they were much more forceful. He tried to say little things to her when he could about mistakes and stopping before they got carried away, but none of that seemed to make sense. None of it did. Then there was a moment when Spinelli did stop thinking. He didn't think when he kissed her back. He didn't think when she pulled him off the couch and towards the stairs. He didn't think when she asked which room was his.

He didn't think.

Maybe he just didn't want to be alone.

----

The sound of a familiar laugh woke her. Maxie's eyes flew open at the sound of Georgie's unmistakable chuckle. Glancing around the room, she expected to see her sister standing over her tickling her nose with a feather, getting the giggles at her own childish antics. Georgie wasn't there though. Maxie must have dreamed it.

Maxie stared at the glowing sunrise peaking through the window shades. She registered the arm around her bare waist and turned her head to see Spinelli lying there next to her quite peacefully. All of his hair was in his face. Her fingertips pushed some of it out of the way. When last night's small conversation had led into his bedroom, Maxie thought to herself for a split second how she would flip out in the morning. She was actually kind of shocked with how peaceful she felt.

Easing herself out of his bed slowly so as not to wake him, Maxie looked around for her clothes. She bumped into his dresser with a thud by accident. He awoke with a start and looked at her as if he was terribly confused. She gave him a small smile and apologized for the noise. Spinelli didn't seem to be paying much attention to what she said and instead looked as if he were putting together all the clues in his room that he could as to what was going on. Maxie tossed some clothes of his to him and he started to put them on slowly, completely silent. This seemed like some big mystery to him, waking up to a girl in his bedroom. _Maybe it was_, Maxie thought to herself.

He seemed to be having a struggle with his pants, and Maxie realized that she had grabbed his and put them on and now Spinelli was trying to figure out how to maneuver himself into her skinny jeans.

"Uh..I thought these were a little loose." Maxie said.

As they were trading pants, Spinelli spoke for the first time.

"Um..."

"Yeah." Maxie replied.

"Okay."

Maxie sighed. "I'm going to leave now."

Heading out the door and down into the living room, Maxie was shocked to see Jason coming in the door. She stopped, awkwardly.

Jason looked perplexed. "What are you doing here?"

"Maxie, wait!" Spinelli called from behind her.

Spinelli had just run down the stairs, apparently going after her. He wasn't wearing a shirt and Jason raised his eyebrows at the scene unfolding before him. He might have had brain damage, but Maxie knew he was doing some sort of math. Spotting her coat and purse, she grabbed both and headed out the door before Jason could get a chance to ask any more questions and before Spinelli could get out his explanation.

Stepping into the elevator outside of Jason's penthouse, Maxie thought about what her little voice had been saying the night before.

Yes, definitely a mistake.

But if getting too emotional and sleeping with a guy she barely knew was the thing that had made her hesitant about leaving her house so late last night, Maxie had to admit she was a little disappointed in her bad feelings. It could have been a lot worse with her track record.

So, that was something.

----

**A/N: Reviews adored! I hope you enjoyed it. This story will be focusing on Spinmax, if you haven't noticed yet. I think they have chemistry on the nuclear level. Oh, and if you are a fan of my other story The Worst Kind of Weapon, do not be afraid! That story is thisclose to being finished! It won't be pushed aside for this story.**

**Next Chapter: The full reality of what has just transpired hits Maxie like a ton of bricks when she goes to talk to Sam, and Spinelli makes a distraught confession to Jason about the night's events.**


	2. Souvenirs

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 2: Souvenir(s)**

"Stone Cold. What a wonderful surprise. Morning greetings," Spinelli said very animatedly, clapping his hands together. Jason could tell by the way he was acting that something was up. Spinelli gave a small wave and started to whistle, heading back up the stairs to his room. He was desperately trying to play the innocent.

"Why was Maxie here, Spinelli?" Jason asked with raised eyebrows.

Spinelli froze and walked down the stairs backwards, knowing he was caught. Turned around slowly to face Jason, he scratched his head.

"Just…uh…borrowing my…books?"

Jason shook his head, not buying a single word. "At six thirty in the morning?"

Shuffling a little and making an odd squeaking noise, Spinelli looked at the ground.

"They're from Oprah's book club," he shrugged. "The Jackal has to admit that the queen of all media has great taste in literature."

"Cut the crap, Spinelli."

"I SLEPT WITH MAXIE!" Spinelli blurted out, pulling his hair from the roots. Jason's eyes were as wide saucers and he stood paralyzed, mouth agape.

"The Bad Blonde…the…SHE came over here last night and we were just talking…_just talking_ about Wise Georgie…everything was fine…And then, she's _all upset_ about her _sweater_ and I was just trying to be comforting and then she's basically _in my lap_ and I was like 'Maxie, what the what the' and she's all 'Don't think,'" Spinelli did a sort a gesture with his hands reminiscent of a witch casting a spell on someone in a movie.

"Next, she starts making out with me and I was like 'Uh…what' and she was like 'where is your bedroom' and I was like 'the regrettably pink room of course' and then her clothes are off and my clothes are off and I SLEPT with MAXIE Jones!"

He spun in a circle and sat down heavily on the stairs with the weight of realization of what he has just said. Spinelli buried his face in his hands pathetically.

"I didn't need to hear all of that." Jason's face was a little horrified by his young friend's over share, but sitting down on the arm of the couch he spoke with concern.

"Okay…Well…Spinelli…Um…Let's start with the basics. Do you think she was using you?"

Spinelli peaked at Jason through his hands. "What?"

Jason grimaced. He didn't want to hurt Spinelli's feelings. "Maxie has a reputation for manipulating people with sex. Lucky and Logan can tell you that. So, I guess what I'm asking is if you just played into another one of her games."

Lying down on the stairs like a tossed ragdoll, Spinelli sighed with a new level of frustration. He hadn't thought of that. What had he gotten himself into? Maxie was mourning her sister; surely she wasn't planning some big scheme. He hoped not at least. Spinelli was clever, but probably not at the level necessary to fight off a Maxie sized plan.

"I don't know," murmured Spinelli. She had been nice to him, maybe that was a part of her act. _No_, Spinelli told himself_, she was different last night, she was lonely and so were you and that is why you ended up together._ "I can't believe this."

Jason gave a grim smile to his friend crumpled on the stairs. "You're one of a kind Spinelli."

"What?"

"Most guys would have no problem being in your situation."

"I just can't believe I had sex with someone I didn't had feelings for. The Jackal isn't _that guy_! It's so Unworthy One of me." Spinelli emphasized the word unworthy, shuddering at the skeeze of it all. He was the flowers on a first date guy, or at least he assumed he was since he hadn't been on a _real_ date.

"You're right…you aren't that guy…I think you just need to take this in stride…If it bothers you this much you could always just pretend it never happened." Jason stood and walked over to Spinelli, hand outstretched, and helped him off the floor. Spinelli stood there staring at the ground as if he couldn't look Jason in the eye. Jason patted him on the shoulder reassuringly and walked past him up to his room.

Spinelli stood there frozen in thought for a moment. Maybe Jason was right…He should put the whole thing behind him. He didn't have feelings for Maxie and she was still with Cooper Barrett. Yeah, it was really best for him to forget about this entire ordeal.

Something glimmered on the ground him front of him. Bending to pick it up, he realized it was a hoop earring. A souvenir, the only proof that Maxie had stayed the night, had picked him to hold her. It felt heavy in his hand. Glancing at the couch where all of the insanity had begun, Spinelli couldn't help but notice how plain and simple everything looked in the daylight. And, of course, there was the fact that he was alone again.

Suddenly cold, Spinelli headed back upstairs to his room and sat on the edge of his bed, wrapping his blanket around his shoulders, still holding the silver loop in his hand. He thought of Maxie, really considered her for the first time. He thought of how she'd kissed him, how her hair smelled, how nice she had been. He remembered her touch in the dark of the night and goose bumps traveled down his arms.

Like Jason had said, though, he probably should put it behind him. They just needed each other last night, under a cold moon, it was undestandable. But in the brightest light of the morning it was clear that it was a fluke, the entire situation. People grieved in their own ways, simple as that. He barely knew Maxie. It was just a mistake between aquaintances.

He would tell himself that several times the rest of that day. Why wasn't he convinced?

----

Maxie's feet took her to a very different destination this time. Her instinct was to find Sam McCall. That was the only person she could think of who would listen to her without judging her now that her sister was dead. Maxie had been okay leaving Spinelli at first, but with each step she could feel the dread welling up insider her stomach. Would Spinelli tell Jason? Hell, would Spinelli tell Lulu? That was all she needed, Lulu getting ammunition for some long awaited revenge. If Lulu found out she would tell Coop and Maxie would lose him forever, that was for sure. Coop could only forgive her for so much. Sleeping with Spinelli would probably insult him beyond belief.

Knocking on the door to Sam's place, Maxie shuffled a little. She touched her hair in order to kind of straighten it, realizing that she hadn't even looked in the mirror at all. Touching her ear, she realized that she was missing one of her earrings. _Wow_, Maxie thought, _I must be a real sight to see. I'm in pieces_.

She could hear shuffling behind the door and then it opened just a crack, Sam peaking out at Maxie. She looked really tired and Maxie realized she had no idea what time it was. Sure, the sun was coming up, but it was still glowing orange in the sky.

"Maxie? What's wrong?" Sam swung the door open and pulled Maxie inside gently. Maxie headed for the sofa.

"I'm sorry Sam, I know it's early…I couldn't think of anywhere else to go," she replied sitting down on the edge of the cushion, her leg tapping furiously from nerves on the floor.

Sam pulled her robe tight around her and crossed her arms, sitting down as well. Maxie didn't know where to start, picking at a piece of fuzz on her coat sleeve.

"Maxie, sweetheart, what's wrong."

Maxie looked out the window. "I did something bad."

Sam shifted. "What do you mean 'bad'? Are you in trouble or something?"

The sun was shining very prettily through the window pane. She would have to call Spinelli and ask if he'd found her earring. It would be very awkward. _'Hey, Spinelli, could you look around in your bed for my earring?'_

"How did this happen?" she whispered. She didn't find him sexy, he had no edge, and yet she had slept with him. Maxie blushed a little. Maybe people were right about her...Hooking up with random people...It really was trampy.

"What?"

"I slept with Spinelli. Last night. I have no idea what I was thinking." The sky was yellow now.

Sam coughed as if she had choked. "You did what?"

"I have no idea." Maxie's head fell back onto the pillow of the couch, staring at Sam's ceiling. Something wasn't right. Maxie had done a lot of stupid things, slept with too many wrong people, never apologizing. She didn't feel guilty today, that wasn't the lump in the pit of her stomach. Yes, there was a little dread, but that wasn't it either. Something was different. Something unfinished.

"So…did you plan this or something? Is this another way to get at Lulu or what?" Sam inquired.

"No, Sam, nothing like that." Maxie closed her eyes, reliving the nights events as if she were chasing breadcrumbs back home. "I went to Jason's penthouse looking for Spinelli…I hoped he would help me try to find out who the Text Message Killer is…We were both upset about Georgie…one thing and then another and I'm waking up next to the weird hacker guy." The images of the evening projected like a poor quality film, it all seemed so warped. Opening her eyes, the brightness of the room contrasted with the movie playing in her head.

Glancing over at her friend, Maxie was annoyed at her reaction to her story. Sam's face seemed torn between shock and laughter.

Sam couldn't hold in her chuckle any longer seeing Maxie's frustration. "Oh, Maxie, don't take this personally. It's funny." Maxie groaned and covered her fave with her hands, blushing. Sam pried her hands from her face and patted them reassuringly.

"I'm not judging you, Maxie. Spinelli is a great person and all, but I just can't see you ever going for someone like him. He's not exactly your type."

Maxie shook her head. " You're right. He isn't…like…at all. That what brings me to your couch." She began picking at the chip in her fingernail polish, trying to distract herself.

Pursing her lips so as to hold back a grin, Sam tried to be serious. "I'm sorry, Maxie, but this isn't one of those scenarios where I know the perfect thing to say. I mean…_it's Spinelli."_

"Yeah, I noticed." Maxie kind of laughed.

Sam leaned back on the couch, pulling her hair into a ponytail. Maxie resented the fact that her friend could be so calm. Didn't she get it? _Something was wrong here_. This was different.

"I mean, it's not like it's going to happen again, is it?" Sam inquired, finishing with her hair.

"Definitely not." Maxie barked. That was the proper response, 'definitely not', but Maxie thought it was a shallow thought. No, she had no intention of ever sleeping with Spinelli again, but that didn't explain the lingering unnamed emotion running rampant through her veins.

"Well then… Um…Just, you know, move on," Sam replied simply.

"Yeah. Maybe. It's just going to be awkward though…I really do need his help to catch my sister's killer." There she was again, her sister haunting every moment of Maxie's day.

"Then I suggest you talk to him…I can't make this any less awkward for you." Sam shrugged sadly. "He's a nice kid, I'm sure he'll be cool about it."

"He has my earring. I need to go get it from him. They were gifts from Georgie," Maxie muttered this, fidgeting with her ear. She hoped he had them at least. Georgie had worked twice her normal hours one week to save up money to buy the silver hoops for Maxie's birthday. Maxie rarely wore them when Georgie was alive. Now, she realized they matched every outfit she owned.

Maxie thought about the strange laughter that had woken her up that morning. Georgie's giggling had seemed so real. Was her little sister laughing at her from beyond the grave? If so, _what exactly was so funny_? The warm trail of a single tear fell, curving it's way down her cheek. Maxie didn't wipe it away, just let the drop fall onto her hand.

"I'm sorry I bothered you," Maxie said, standing suddenly. "I've gotta go."

Swinging Sam's door opening and stepping out, Maxie pulled the other earring out and tucked it into her pocket._ Let him have the damned thing_, Maxie thought. _Souvenir. He's got something of mine now. _

_Maybe I should have taken something of his. _

_----_

**A/N: SO I forgot to thank two important people in my last chapter...Fellow fanfiction author D-Tepes gave me the idea about the sweater really bothering Maxie. Also, the amazing moderator over at the Spinelli GH livejournal (come join us! we're awesomely snarky) Spikeylover, created a fabulous mvid about Spinmax and their eerie similarities.**

**The mvid can be found on Youtube titled "My December (Spin and Maxie)" and it's under the user name of Spencerfanfirst. Go check it out and get chills!**

**You MUST go check out LuckyDuck29's story Season's Changes, another FABULOUS Spinelli story. I won't ruin the secret for you, but let's just say it's a good one.**

**:) Lots of homework this week, I know.**

**YOU GUYS BROKE ALL MY RECORDS FOR NUMBER OF REVIEWS FOR A SINGLE CHAPTER! I LOVE YOU GUYS! 18 REVIEWS IN ONE CHAPTER?? AMAZING!**

**GAH! I just got some great news! In a recent interview, Bradford Anderson (the actor who rocks the role of Spinelli) was asked what he thought of a Spinlu (Spinelli/Lulu) romance and he said he and Kristen Storms (Maxie) were more for a Saxie ship! (I prefer Spinmax to Saxie but that's not the point...the point is THIS COULD RULE!)**

**Next Chapter: It's hard to avoid people these days. _BTW---Ponder the title of this chapter a little bit._**


	3. The Docks

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 3: The Docks**

A week had passed since Maxie and Spinelli _interfaced_, and the hacker couldn't help but acknowledge the difference it had made in him. He felt so old. Tired too, and sick to his stomach. That could've been the flu, of course, which he had, but it probably had something to do with Maxie as well. She'd come into his life out of nowhere and decided to redecorate. He hoped some soup from Kelly's diner might make him feel better.

Stumbling in the doorway and up to the counter where Mike greeted him, Spinelli ordered quickly and then plopped himself down at the nearest table, using his heavy messenger bag as a pillow. He had tried pretending Maxie had never been over, and as it turned out the harder he tried to forget something the more complicated it was to do so. Spinelli then tried a different approach, reliving every detail of the evening, but the more he focused on remembering the more confused things became.

Either way, she was in his head.

And, worse yet, she had just walked in the diner. Maxie froze in the doorway. Spinelli sighed heavily. This would be awkward. Maxie slowly made her way over to Spinelli's table, her heels clicking on the ground, each step accentuating the doom both must have felt. She sat down slowly, sitting her purse on the ground. Spinelli didn't sit up but twisted a little so that he was staring up at her from his makeshift pillow.

They sat there like that for a moment, he looking miserable and she uncomfortable. Neither said a word but both jumped when Mike sat Spinelli's soup down on the edge of the table.

"There you go, Spinelli." Mike said jovially.

Spinelli murmured a quick thanks. Once Mike was out of earshot, Spinelli pushed the bowl of soup with his fingertips towards Maxie.

"You want some soup? I'm not hungry anymore."

Maxie gave him a crooked grin but shook her head no. Spinelli fidgeted with the soup, stirring it absentmindedly.

Maxie finally spoke. "Look…Spin…I hope you know that as far as I'm concerned nothing happened."

"Uh, The Jackal has no idea what the Bad Blonde One is talking about because he too has decided that nothing happened, as you say." Spinelli let go of the spoon and watched it swirl in the soup.

Maxie looked a little hurt. "So I'm back to being the Bad Blonde One? I thought maybe you would stop calling me that since--"

"Since what?" Spinelli inquired with raised eyebrows.

"Oh. Okay. I get it." Maxie looked away, embarrassed.

Spinelli felt worse all of a sudden. This was a lot more difficult than he would have thought it would be.

"Maybe one of us should go." He muttered.

"Yeah," Maxie agreed.

"Well…I was here first," Spinelli replied, instantly wishing he could take it back. He hadn't intended it to come out like that.

Maxie looked stunned. It seemed she hadn't been expecting to be blown off by Spinelli of all people. Wasn't that her job? She was the resident witch, right? Grabbing her purse off the floor she made a hasty retreat out of Kelly's and back into the cold Port Charles day. The bell on the door tinkled a happy tune and Spinelli wish he could have ripped it off the wall.

He thought about going after her and apologizing. Instead he banged his forehead into tabletop in frustration. He was going to be celibate the rest of his life, it was final.

----

She had nowhere to go anymore. Kelly's didn't bring her the warm comfort that it used to. Neither did her empty home, and now Cooper was ruined as well. Though she wouldn't admit it, Maxie had been avoiding Cooper ever since Spinelli told her about the strangled woman in Iraq. He'd called her a few times to ask her out to dinner or to meet up at his place but Maxie made up excuses to get out of seeing him.

For almost three weeks, the only time she spoke to Cooper in person was when she would have lunch with him in very public places when both of them could barely fit lunch into their schedules. She did this on purpose so that he understood people would be expecting her. It was probably complete paranoia, but she couldn't shake the feeling from her that it all could be true. Her heart was breaking with each lie, knowing that if Coop was innocent she would be trading her fears for a guy that understood her and accepted her flaws. He would only stay interested in her for so long before he became suspicious of Maxie's avoidance.

Time was running short. She desperately needed to prove Cooper innocent before she lost him forever.

No matter how much she wanted to trust Coop, her skin crawled at the idea that he was the one, the murderer, the monster that had tossed her sister on the cold ground after laying a vicious hand on her. He'd kissed her, stood by her, forgiven her numerous times. If that was Cooper's mask, and if he had been wearing it the day of her sister's funeral, knowing he was the one, Maxie could only advise him to never sleep again.

Whoever did it wouldn't get away with it. She'd be there, waiting.

But she was getting ahead of herself. It wasn't Cooper, it couldn't be. Someone else was responsible. Knowing this, Maxie couldn't help but acknowledge that she was back to square one. She needed a place to think about what to do. Heading to the docks, Maxie intended to stare out into the water until it gave her answers. Through the years she'd passed many people sitting out there on the benches during the day and night, all lost in their own thoughts. Perhaps their haven could become hers as well.

It was mid afternoon. The sky was overcast, the air cold. It may not have been the perfect day, but it was quite and the water moved slowly, peacefully. Maxie sat on a bench and waited for the answers to come to her. Closing her eyes, she became lost in thought. _Give me something, please_, Maxie said to herself.

And then a shuffling from behind her ripped her out of the stillness. Irritated, Maxie prepared herself to give the interrupter a very nice go-to-hell look. Turning her head, she paled when she saw Spinelli walking down the stairs to where she was, his head buried in some sort of paperwork. He must have sensed her eyes on him because he stopped what he was doing and froze in place.

He folded the papers up and shoved them into his pocket, obviously trying to think of something to say but not having a clue as to what that might be. Maxie sighed with frustration. This wasn't going to work. Someone would eventually catch on to how awkward the two acted towards each other. People could tell those things.

"Hi, Spin." Maxie spoke clearly.

Spinelli looked as if he was deciding whether or not to dart. Maxie almost laughed. He was really determined to avoid her, that was certain. At least he wasn't bragging to everyone he knew that they'd slept together. In fact, she hadn't seen him in two weeks. Spinelli was doing an excellent job at sticking to their agreement about pretending nothing happened.

But that whole "nothing happened" routine was failing miserably. She didn't know about Spinelli, but Maxie had yet been able to shake that unfinished feeling she'd had since leaving Sam's apartment three weeks ago. Of course, there was also the haunting laughter that still found its way to the forefront of her mind on occasion. There was some sort of cosmic joke going on, and she was waiting for the punch line to be revealed to her.

"Bad Blonde One," Spinelli replied finally, nodding curtly. He toed the ground, making, uncomfortable.

Maxie grabbed her purse from the spot it was taking up on the bench and put it on the ground beneath her, making room for Spinelli. She gestured for him to sit next to her, which he did hesitantly. His weight made the bench squeak and was the only sound that was made for a moment.

"How've you been?" She asked timidly.

Spinelli cleared his throat. "Uh…busy. Doing some stuff for Stone Cold."

"I thought it was Cold Stone."

"Nope. Stone Cold."

"Oh. Huh."

They sat there for a moment in silence, staring out into the water together.

"Would it be too uncomfortable for you if we worked together again?" Maxie asked.

"Well we never really…"

"You know what I mean," Maxie interrupted, staring right at him. Spinelli shifted. "Time is flying by Spinelli, and even though we're kind of weird around each other now that doesn't mean we should let that get in the way of finding out who killed Georgie."

"Yeah. You're right." He fiddled with his jacket and refused to look at her. Maxie realized for the first time that she hadn't really considered how Spinelli felt about the entire situation. She had been focusing on her own feelings for so long that she forgot there was another person to consider in the whole mess.

"It still is bothering you, isn't it?" She asked gently.

Getting a beanie from his messenger bag, Spinelli pulled it low over his ears. She noticed that the cold air had stamped his normally pale cheeks pink. February was cold as ever, making it impossible to escape the curse of pink cheeks and red noses.

"I don't know, Maxie," he finally replied, using her real name which added a new seriousness to the conversation. "I guess I'm just obsessing over what it meant."

"Nothing," She replied quickly. "Nothing. It meant absolutely nothing. I don't love you and vice versa."

He quickly glanced at her but then stared at his hands lying limp in his lap. That look was a bad sign. _Oh God_...If Spinelli had a crush on her now that they'd slept together she didn't know what she would do. All she needed was for him to follow her around like he did Lulu.

"Look, Spin...We were consenting adults...no strings attached. We didn't do anything wrong. I'm over it...you need to do the same."

Spinelli breathed in heavily and scooted a little farther away from her on the bench. She'd obviously hurt his feelings. Maxie didn't intend to treat him like he was a mistake. How could she convince him without hurting him? He had been very kind about the whole thing, not running to Lulu and giving her ammunition for some revenge.

"Okay, I'm not going to say that I don't regret what happened...but I can't say that I would change anything...It's in the past. What I do know is that I really appreciate your friendship and I don't want this to ruin it." Maxie was kind of surprised that she had actually said such things. She was even more shocked when she realized she meant every word and hadn't just said it to make Spinelli feel better.

Spinelli raised his eyebrows. "We're friends now?"

Maxie thought for a second. It seemed to fit. For a long time, Maxie couldn't stand Spinelli, but that mostly had to do with the fact that he was fiercely devoted to Lulu. Then, of course, Georgie had been Spinelli's friend too. Maybe that was what made her judge him less.

"Yeah, yes Spinelli we're friends. I mean, I don't make fun of you anymore and you seem to call me the Bad Blonde One with less enthusiasm these days." He smirked a little. "So I guess that has to count for something right?"

"It should," he murmured. For a moment neither said a word, simply looking at the other. Then suddenly Spinelli's entire body jumped and he craned his neck to look behind him where the stairs met the alley.

"Something must be hilarious," he said, regaining his composure.

Maxie was confused. "What?"

"That woman laughing in the alley...she must have just passed by...The Jackal didn't catch a glimpse of her but she scared the daylights out of me."

It felt as if ice dropped into Maxie's stomach. If this laugh was so loud, shouldn't she have heard it too?

"So, uh, is next Thursday good for you? I mean...that would be a good day for me."

"Uh...what Spinelli?" Maxie asked, mentally shaking her paranoia away.

"To research the Text Message Killer. Is Thursday good for you?"

Maxie sighed heavily. She hoped the tension she was feeling wasn't noticeable to Spinelli. He looked calm for the first time during their entire conversation and she didn't want to upset him again when they were finally comfortable around each other.

"Yeah...wait...no...I have to close the boutique that night." Maxie paused and considered when it would be best to meet up. "How about next Wednesday? I'm free then."

Spinelli smiled. "Okay then. I'll work on some stuff on my own and then we can congregate at Casa de Stone Cold and discuss what I've got. We'll take it from there."

He started to gather his things. As Spinelli stood to leave, Maxie couldn't help but notice that he seemed considerably lighter in spirit than he had when he sat down. He didn't have a crush on her, Maxie realized. He just really hated the thought of being a mistake. She'd really misjudged him. Lulu's influence shouldn't have had any effect on how she treated Spinelli. He genuinely did care, maybe a little too much. Didn't we all have our vices? Was it so bad that he was fiercely loyal to his friends, even undeserving ones like Lulu Spencer?

He was halfway to the stairs when Maxie jumped up to follow him. He paused and waited for her to collect her things.

"After you, Fairest Maxie," he said with a wave of his arm and a small bow. Maxie laughed genuinely for the first time in a long time.

"I like that name a lot more than Bad Blonde, that's for sure. It needs some work though," she replied halfway up the stairs.

The pair walked together until they had to part ways. Whatever awkwardness there had been between them seemed to be replaced with quiet understanding, a trade Maxie was more than willing to make. It was more endearing that way, the two sharing a secret about a moment in time. Also, that feeling of things unfinished no longer left a heavy weight on her shoulders. They'd accomplished something that afternoon. She actually believed that they could find out something about her sister's murder, and then maybe things would be back to normal.

A bonus, of course, would be the fact that Lulu would be pissed once she found out they were friends.

**----**

**A/N: All right folks...the prologue is officially over...look for the plot to make its first move in chapter four :) This chapter was a little blah for me and I'm sorry if you feel the same...I promise big things for chapter 4 though.**

**Other notes...There are a lot of spoilers, rumors, and spumors floating around the internet that a Spinmax/Maxelli/Spixie/Saxie relationship may be in the works. We shall see...but I'm not going to lie, I'm so doing a "called-it" dance if some of the stuff I predicted comes from the computer screen to the small screen.**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews...they're what keep me fueled. I reply all my reviewers if they leave email addresses or are logged in so please review in a way that I can properly thank you. If you have questions or want spoilers for upcoming chapters do leave a review because I'll answer you. **

**Next Chapter: Someone's been doing a lot of laughing...If there is some big cosmic joke, than Chapter 4 is The Punch Line. **


	4. The Punch Line

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 4: The Punch Line**

Spinelli was finally finished straightening up the living room. Now he was heading into the kitchen to grab himself an orange soda and get Maxie her favorite bottled green tea. He'd been sure to stock up on them ever since they had started working together every Thursday night. Jason had asked why he had suddenly started buying the tea and Spinelli had come up with a stupid lie about wanting to find his Zen and how he thought that drinking the stuff would help. Jason had also asked why the penthouse was always neat these days, and Spinelli blamed Zen again.

In fact, Spinelli just didn't want to tell Jason how he was spending his Thursday evenings. He and Maxie had devoted the last three to meeting up at the penthouse in order to do as much research as they could before Spinelli thought Jason would be in for the night. For some reason he didn't want Jason to know, concerned that his friend would speculate as to what Maxie was trying to do.

He was expecting her any minute. Spinelli had to admit that as grim as their work was he looked forward to spending a few hours talking to someone again. Lulu was absorbed in her own life these days, getting more and more involved with Johnny Zacchara than he would like. That left him seeing her less, and with Georgie being dead and Jason constantly working with Sonny on the Zacchara problem Spinelli couldn't help but be excited when a friend chose to be with him for a change.

She was different when alone, he'd found out. Maybe she was just less threatening when there was no one around that she needed to intimidate, or maybe it was just an attitude that she adopted after the death of her sister. Either way, Spinelli was grateful for her company.

Sitting their drinks down on the table, Spinelli propped up his laptop on the coffee table and started bringing up a few of the things he'd found in his spare time that he wanted to show Maxie. They hadn't gotten very far, but deep down he thought that their new project was more about feeling as if they were doing something instead of just mourning the normal way.

"Spin let me in," Maxie called from the outside the front door. She sounded irritated, so he hurried to answer her. He'd barely had the door open before she had stormed in and started removing her jacket, throwing her bag on the ground. He backed up a little to give her some space.

Pulling at her hair, Maxie let out some of her frustration. "I HATE my life."

"Greetings to you too." He scanned Maxie quickly. She looked really drained. It must have been a really bad day for her.

"I'm sorry, Spin," she apologized, sighing heavily. He had to get used to her calling him that. It was strange to be on the receiving end of a nickname.

She kicked off her heels where she stood, throwing her scarf on top of her bag. Maxie then stormed over to the couch and sat down, falling back into the couch, closing her eyes. Spinelli followed her lead and sat down on the arm of the couch, his feet resting on the cushion, wrapping his arms around his knees. He tried to give her a bubble in which to vent.

"So, this woman comes into the boutique today and starts ordering me around like I'm her personal shopper. I'm looking at her like she's an idiot and then my manager tells me to do anything the woman says because she's a Porter heiress," Maxie began, but stopped when she realized Spinelli was confused. "You know...The Porter's own that casino in Atlantic City...I guess she thinks she's the next Paris Hilton or something...Anyways, she's being a total bitch to me and tries on about fifty dresses, all of which I had to hang back up because she tossed them on the floor of her dressing room, OH and she got RED lipstick on a white Jastin sweater! A _Jastin_!"

Spinelli tried to hold back his need to laugh. He hadn't ever seen Maxie this upset unless it had to do with Lulu. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Stop making fun of me."

"The Jackal is not making fun of the Currently Mad Maxie, it indeed sounds like a most grievous experience," he replied with a chuckle.

She sighed. "Oh, that wasn't the end of it. Miss Hilton decides she was 'too cold'." Maxie made air quotes. "So I'm forced to turn up the heater, and it had been like, completely burning up in there all day. I mean, I realize it's winter, but come on. After all that, she doesn't even BUY anything."

"I'm sorry, Mad Max. Do you want some green tea?" He pointed to the bottle on the coffee table. She smiled a little at his small gesture. Spinelli found that he loved making her smile, she didn't do it often. It showed a different side to her. Maxie reached for the bottle and sipped it quickly before putting it back down. He noticed a bruise on her outstretched arm. It was rather dark and looked new.

"What happened to your arm?" When he asked, Maxie quickly tried to pull the sleeve down over it. Her cheeks went pink from embarrassment.

"That's from where I fell yesterday," She muttered.

Spinelli slid down from the arm of the couch onto the cushion, concerned.

"You fell?"

"In the shower...I think was still half asleep because I felt really weak all of a sudden and lost my balance...Banged my arm on the tub."

"Oh..." That didn't sound right.

Maxie straightened on the couch. "Anyways, did you find anything about other cities with unexplained murders? I was thinking about that today and thought that was a really good place to start. I mean, maybe this guy is new to Port Charles."

"So, wait, you were just fine one moment and then you had a dizzy spell? Why aren't you worried about that?" Spinelli asked, refusing to change the subject.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about me Spin. I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal."

"Does that happen often?"

"Spinelli!" Maxie looked flustered.

"What, Maxie? I don't like the thought that you almost passing out yesterday. Has it happened again?"

"Oh my god, Spinelli, stop it."

"Has it?" He demanded. Spinelli hated that she was trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, okay?" Maxie confessed, looking away from him to the floor. "I felt like I had vertigo in the elevator just like fifteen minutes ago. I probably have an inner ear infection or something. Now can we please do some actual work?" She reached for his laptop but Spinelli blocked her. She wasn't going to get away with this. Her need to avoid the question made Spinelli positive that she was worried about it too.

"Maybe you should eat something" He jumped off the couch and headed into the kitchen to get her something to eat. He could still hear her muffled protests but ignored them. Opening the fridge, Spinelli looked around for something that he thought Maxie would like. He grabbed a jar of mustard and plate of some leftover fruit slices he'd had for breakfast, balancing them as best as he could against his chest, and got a better view of the back of the fridge. _How long had that apple been back there?_

She was still yelling at him from the living room. "Spinelli, I don't want your barbeque chips, okay? Seriously...Orange soda and barbeque chips cannot be appetizing. It sounds like some sort of crazy pregnant lady craving food or something," Maxie yelled from the living room.

The mustard jar and the plate of fruit slipped from his arms and crashed to the ground. The jar cracked and leaked mustard while the pieces of pineapple and grapes wobbled across the floor. The disaster on the floor mirrored exactly how Spinelli felt at that moment.

His feet carried him back into the living room before he registered he was even moving. Spinelli pointed directly at a confused and startled Maxie.

"No," he stated firmly. "No no. No no no no. No. NO!"

Maxie looked baffled.

"What?"

"NO!"

"What the hell are you freaking out about?" she demanded.

Spinelli spun around a few times, thinking. Six weeks ago, six Thursdays ago. What had happened? Maxie had led him into his room, that was the beginning. She'd told him not to think, to stop thinking, and he had. She had been intoxicating. A shiver ran down his spine. He'd played the scenario over and over in his head, and though none of it made sense it was always the same chain of events.

He finally stopped and froze in one spot. A shaking hand made its way up to his mouth, and when he spoke it was muffled.

"Maxie-Ma...Max..." He stuttered.

She was looking at him, frightened. Maxie leapt off the couch and took a few steps towards him, but Spinelli backed away from her. Now he was the one with vertigo.

"Spin, what is it?"

"Maxie," he found his voice. "Maxie, is it at all possible that you are pregnant?"

Her eyes went huge. That was obviously not the thing she had expected him to say.

"Spin...No...There is no way. I'm on the pill." Her words reassured him, but her tone made him doubtful.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah...yes...Yeah. I mean...well...we used protection too so we were like...double protected..."

"Maxie, I don't remember us putting too much thought into what we were doing...We didn't use anything."

"Sure we did."

"No. We did not."

"Well that was dumb." Maxie said, blinking a few times, her tone blank.

"Uh. Yeah."

"Spin...so what. I'm still on the pill. I took my pill that day. I always take it before I go to bed." Maxie tried to sound calm, but she was breathing rather quickly and it looked as if she were counting on her fingers.

"BUT YOU SLEPT HERE!" Spinelli thought he would throw up.

"I took the pill damn it!"

"Then why are you having fainting spells?"

"I'm not a doctor Spinelli!" Maxie yelled, then grabbed her head. Spinelli instantly was at her side, just as she was reaching out an arm for something to grab onto. Maxie's knees buckled but Spinelli was there to catch her. He pulled her swiftly back onto the couch and insisted that she lie down, which she did without protest. Spinelli sat down on the floor next to her, brushing her blonde hair out of her face with a shaking hand. Maxie's eyes were tightly closed. His heart was going a hundred beats a minute.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Spinelli whispered. "I mean…It wouldn't be a disaster if you were…I wouldn't leave you, Max...we could...you know...figure it out."

She opened her eyes finally, staring at him unblinking. She pet his hair with one of her small hands and Spinelli instantly felt a little better. He rested his chin on the edge of the couch, looking at her, pleading with his whole heart.

"I promise you, Maxie."

"You're sweet." Maxie murmured. She sat up and stood, suddenly full of energy, heading towards the door. Stepping back into her heels and putting on her scarf and jacket, she almost had a hand on the doorknob before Spinelli could get up off the floor.

"Wait, Maxie, don't go. Please, you don't want to fall again. Just stay here tonight." Spinelli stepped between her and the door. She couldn't just leave him after this.

Maxie quickly kissed him on the cheek and went around him. He didn't know if she did that to distract him or if she meant it, but either way it shocked him enough to fail at keeping her from opening the door.

"I have to do something. I'll call you, okay?" She backed out of the penthouse, closing the door before he could protest anymore.

_Don't think_, she had begged him, _just don't think._

It was all a mess now.

----

Maxie was counting everything. Times she'd slept with Spinelli--one. Number of weeks late she was--two. Chance she was pregnant-zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Chance if she was pregnant it was Coop's--Zero. Number of tumors she hoped she had that would explain her fainting spells--four.

Number of times she knocked on Sam's door--five. Number of seconds it took Sam to answer--twenty.

"Maxie what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Sam instantly led her into the apartment.This felt oddly familiar. Maxie had no idea she'd even been crying, not registering the salty taste on her lips. She headed over to table and dumped a plastic bag full of rectangular boxes onto it. Maxie gripped the wooden chair nearest her and eyed the loot. Sam picked up one of the boxes and a shocked look fell over her face.

"Maxie..."

Number of pregnancy tests she'd bought at the 24 hour pharmacy--ten.

"I had to come to you...I really needed a friend..." Maxie cleared her throat and wiped a few tears away from her eyes. Her voice felt hollow.

"Sweetheart I don't understand," Sam said gently, putting the box back with the rest of them.

"Sam, there is a plethora of pregnancy tests on your kitchen table. What do you not understand?"

"_Plethora_?"

"Spinelli's word, not mine" Maxie laughed and cried at the same down, sinking into the kitchen table chair and burying her face in her hands. She heard the chair next to her squeak as Sam pulled it out and sat down beside her. Sam laid a hand on Maxie's shoulder supportively.

She'd been lost in the forest many times before, treading off the path just slightly, enough to get her lost. Eventually she would find her way back onto the dirt that led her out of the darkness if she was patient and calm. This was different. Now the trees were uprooting and creeping around her, encasing her so she would never escape.

"Maxie...you've got to talk to me."

"I'm late. I'm sick. I'm not sure how to deal with this." Maxie answered honestly.

"Okay, well, let's do this the proper way," Sam said, keeping a cool attitude and opening a box, handing a white stick to Maxie. "You don't need to put yourself through any more torture. Go find out."

Maxie shuddered a little on the inside as her stomach did summersaults. Grabbing a few more boxes, Maxie headed into Sam's bathroom.

----

Number of positive pregnancy tests-- four. After four, Maxie didn't see the point in trying any of the others. She was pregnant. Sitting on the floor of Sam's bathroom, leaning her frame against the door, Maxie sat frozen, staring at her two hundred dollar red heels. She could hear breathing behind the door. Sam tapped on the door gently.

"What's the verdict?"

"Baby," Maxie replied, her voice raspy.

Sam gasped. "Oh, Maxie...When are you going to tell Coop?'

"Why would I tell Coop?" _That would be stupid_.

"He's the father, right?" Oh. Sam didn't get it.

"Oh. No...he's not."

"Wait...then...not Spinelli."

"Uh huh."Maxie nodded, realizing it was mostly to clarify the truth for her own mind.

"Maxie! Didn't you use any protection?"

She groaned. Why did people always ask stupid questions like that? Maxie stopped herself, knowing Sam meant no harm.

"Ninety-nine point nine percent effective, Sam."

"Well now I understand why you are so upset about this."

Maxie grabbed a roll of toilet paper and blew her nose on the tissue. She then tossed the roll across the bathroom and over the shower curtain, watching it unravel. She could teepee the entire bathroom if she wanted to.

"It's not him…well…It _is_ him…But it's more the fact that I'm a conniving bitch, Sam. How am I supposed to raise a baby?"

"Maxie you are so much more than that and you know it." Maxie ignored Sam and banged her head on the door behind her out of frustration.

"This is going to be really bad...I faked that pregnancy last year...No one is going to believe me."

"It doesn't matter if they don't believe you the most important thing is your baby and keeping yourself healthy for it," reassured Sam.

"Spinelli...Oh god, He flipped out tonight when he thought I was pregnant."

"What?"

"I told him I've been having these fainting spells and he's the one who thought I was pregnant. He was so scared." Maxie felt guilty all of a sudden at the thought of Spinelli having to spend the rest of the night speculating.

"Well, of course he was scared, Maxie, he thinks he's going to be a father. He's, what, twenty?"

"After he, uh, flipped out I fell again and he helped me onto the couch and...I don't know...when he spoke to me...No one's ever spoken to me like that." When there was no reply from Sam, Maxie was worried.

"Sam?" She called out loudly

"Yeah, I'm still here." Her footsteps were growing closer. Maxie realized how ridiculous it was to be carrying on a conversation with someone through a door, but she couldn't find the spirit to move.

"Where did you go?"

"Your cell phone went off. It was Spinelli." Sam explained.

Maxie took the pregnancy test boxes and started stacking them into a little triangular house with a roof. With a flick of her hand she knocked them over. Just another mess.

"I lived with Spinelli for a while, as you know," began Sam quietly. "And I know he's weird and socially awkward but he's a lot like you."

"How?"

"He's so much more than everyone assumes."

"You were in the vault during the Metrocourt hostage crisis so you didn't really see how he acted when he Craig threatened to kill Lulu if he couldn't open the vault."

"Lulu is a bitch."

Sam laughed. "The point being that he was braver than I think he ever expected with a loaded gun in his face. If he can handle that, I think he can handle a baby."

"I have to tell him," Maxie said standing suddenly. She began picking up all the empty boxes and tossing them in the trash, then pulled down her pathetic toilet paper teepee job. With a hand on the doorknob, Maxie caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. It shocked her how similar she looked when compared to the face she'd had that morning. Shouldn't she be different?

Swinging the door open, Sam instantly hugged her.

"I don't want you going anywhere. You said you've fallen twice, right?"

"Yeah." Maxie looked at the ground. She hoped that she hadn't hurt the baby already.

Sam shrugged. "So just stay here tonight and tell Spinelli in the morning. Get a good night's sleep."

"Yeah...yeah okay." Sam was right. It was probably best for her to just stay put.

They talked for a few more hours. Later that night, when Sam had left her to go to sleep, Maxie curled up on the couch. She snuggled into the pillows, pulling the blanket she'd been given up to her chin. Sam had offered to take the couch but Maxie refused.

Number of thoughts that raced through her mind--a million.

Number of people who would call her a liar when they found out she was pregnant for real--at least five.

Number of people who's opinion actually mattered--One. And he'd said he wouldn't leave her.

----

**A/N: Is that plot enough for you:) Don't worry kids. I hope that I have given you guys enough reason with this fic and my other one to have a little faith in me.**

**Concerns? Questions? Comments? Desperate need for spoilers? Then please review, loves!**

**Rest in peace, Heath...you impressed me.**

**Next Chapter: Two words---Lulu Spencer.**


	5. House of Cards

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 5: House of Cards (Came Tumbling Down)**

"Pass the salt, Spinelli."

"Huh?"

"The Salt. Could you pass it?"

Spinelli found the feeling in his hands and somehow pushed the little saltshaker across the bar towards Lulu. Everything was weighing him down. Even his eyelashes seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. He hadn't been able to get any sleep last night. Spinelli had felt so good, light, and happy for weeks now. His life had finally found some balance.

Now, the barstool at Kelly's diner seemed to be the only thing keeping him from sinking into the tile. Maxie hadn't called him back, even after he tried multiple times. This forced him into feigning normalcy. Get up, say hello to Stone Cold, meet The Blonde One for lunch. Order an orange soda and a sandwich. Barbeque chips please. Pass the salt.

Spinelli would quiver on the inside until the outside was normal and okay. That couldn't happen until Maxie contacted him and told him he was _not_ going to be father.

Lulu poked him in the shoulder playfully. "Spinelli, are you going to eat at all?"

"No."

"What?"

"Sorry, what did you say?" He blinked a few times and tried to focus on Lulu. Spinelli wondered if she could hear his teeth slowly chattering from nerves.

Lulu grinned, her eyes wide with shock. "_Wow_. You weren't paying attention to me. I think that's a first. Where'd you go?"

"Oh, you know," Spinelli pushed a few chips on his plat around. "The Jackal is simply tired from completely destroying the his enemies on the web by breaking into their firewalls and causing mayhem. Child's play, of course, but it's always important to practice the basics." _No, that's a lie, Lulu, I'm trying to decide how long you will stick by me if Maxie is pregnant._

She smiled her normal 'you're weird, Spinelli' smile at him. "Of course. I wish I knew how to cause mayhem for my enemy."

"Uh…what?"

Lulu tilted her head towards the door. Spinelli turned to where she had pointed and saw Maxie standing there, paused in the doorway. He couldn't read her at all. She strode over to him and opened her mouth to speak, looking directly at him, and his heart skipped a few beats. Lulu interrupted her before she could get a word out.

"Maxie, don't bother us today." Lulu barked.

"Excuse me?"

"Spinelli and I were having a nice little chat over here and we don't want you butting in. So take a hike, okay?"

Maxie sneered. Spinelli had to stop himself from jumping up and shaking Lulu for getting into fight with Maxie at such a poor moment. Instead, he just kept his eyes on Maxie, gritting his teeth, trying to figure out what her body language said. He couldn't just come right out and say _"Are you having my baby?"_

"Spinelli, could I have a word with you?" asked Maxie with a false sense of good tidings. Spinelli was about the leap up and follow Maxie out the door when Lulu interrupted again.

"Keep your trampy claws out of Spinelli."

Maxie laughed. "_That's funny_."

His heart jumped into his throat. _No, Maxie. Please don't say anything._

"Why? Just now realizing what a joke you are?"

Maxie ignored her and looked directly at Spinelli.

"That thing. You were right. I was wrong."

In an instant, he had caught her by the arm and stormed outside of Kelly's, his feet tripping over themselves. Swinging her around to face him, Spinelli realized how rough he'd been, dragging her out of the diner. He let go of her arm instantly. She look a little offended by being treated so haphazardly.

"Are you sure?" His voice was desperate, pleading with her to change her mind.

Maxie nodded grimly. "Pretty sure…those pee on a stick tests are more accurate than people give them credit for, and I did four... I mean, I've got to go to a doctor to confirm it, but yeah, I'm pregnant."

"And, it's mine. It's my baby? You're sure?"

He hadn't registered the third person who had been listening to their conversation until she sputtered senselessly and drew attention to herself. Spinelli caught Lulu's shocked blue eyes in a quick glance, and he felt like a creature from some horror film was crawling in his stomach.

"What?" Lulu asked flabberghasted.

Maxie spun on her heels, taking a solid step between Lulu and him. She threw her arms up in frustration, obviously at her wits end about being interrupted.

"This has _nothing_ to do with you."

Lulu started walking towards Spinelli but Maxie got in her way some more. Her eyes were screaming two things: confusion and betrayal. The world disappeared around them, and Spinelli felt as though he was reading the last word in his favorite novel. There was a sad sense of completion hanging awkwardly in the air, waiting for its cue to enter.

"Spinelli, what is going on?" Lulu asked to him and only him.

There was no lying now. What would be the point?

"Maxie is pregnant," He spoke clearly. "It's mine."

There was a pause. "Is this a joke?" she asked, her voice low and dangerous. He stepped around Maxie in case Lulu decided she that needed to throttle her. However, instead of growing closer as if she were getting ready to pounce, Lulu took two steps back.

"No, Lulu, it's not a joke. Spinelli and I slept together and I'm pregnant." Maxie spat.

"You slept with Maxie?" Lulu spoke in her low voice again, not going to accept anything that Maxie told him. His heart rate quickened.

"Yes."

The confession hung in the air, echoing in the silence of the sidewalk patio. Spinelli felt frozen in his spot, not allowed to move unless Lulu gave him permission. She shook her head, unbelieving.

"Why?"

Maxie scoffed. "Because he wanted to, Lulu." Spinell could almost hear her rolling her eyes behind him. She wasn't helping things.

Lulu shook her head, disgusted. "No, because you _tricked_ him into bed and now you're lying to him about being pregnant to play another one of your stupid head games!"

Maxie took offense to that and stepped around Spinelli guickly, getting a foot away from Lulu.

"Oh, so you never played any head games, Lulu? How about the one you played with Dillon that broke up my _dead_ sister's marriage? Or what about the one you played with Spinelli, Dillon and Milo about which one you would date? Talk about head games! At least I never pretended to be a _saint_ through all of it!"

"No, you're right, you've never _pretended_ to be a slut. It's just came _so_ naturally to you."

Maxie pushed Lulu, who stumbled a little but looked as if she were going to hit her back. Spinelli grabbed Maxie by the arms and pulled backwards her away from Lulu. He turned her around to face him.

"Stop it," he begged her. "Calm down." She nodded a little, closing her eyes like she had the night before, her face pinched.

"Dizzy again." Maxie muttered. "This sucks."

"She's LYING to you, Spinelli!" Lulu added, straightening her clothes.

"She's not, Lulu." He responded, agitated. Couldn't Lulu just believe him? This wasn't exactly something he was thrilled to be telling her. As much as he tried to forget, Spinell knew he was still in love with Lulu.

Lulu ran her hands through her blonde hair. "God, I don't even get it. How could you sleep with her Spinelli? I thought you were better than that."

He flinched a little. "Excuse me?" That really pissed him off. He hadn't been mad at Lulu until she started speaking like a hypocrite. "So now I'm too good to be with Maxie, but I'm still not good enough to be with you?"

Lulu's mouth hung open with shock. "No, Spinelli...thats not...that's not what I meant at all..." Her words barely made it out of her mouth.

Spinelli didn't feel like stopping there. This had been a long time coming. It wasn't the best timing by any standard, but he didn't know if he'd ever have the guts to tell Lulu how he really felt again.

"Why do you have _any_ say in who I sleep with?" A sharp intake of breath gave him a little more concentration and strength. "You've made it very clear that you don't want _anything_ to do with me so why should I stand around and wait for you? Maxie is my friend, okay? Now she's even more important to me, and you are just going to have to accept that or you're going to need to leave."

Lulu seemed to have made her choice very quickly. "She's manipulating you! She did this last year with my brother."

"Just go away, Lulu." He burst out hostily. "You aren't helping this situation."

"So…what…What does that mean?" Lulu wiped her eyes quickly.

He couldn't look at her any more. "It means that I really need you to leave right now."

Lulu bit her lip, extremely hurt. "You are going to regret Maxie, I promise you."

She spun around and barged back into Kelly's. Spinelli desperately wanted to go after her, knowing he couldn't. He had to let her come to him. Maybe in time she would forgive him. It didn't matter though, not now. There were bigger problems at hand.

----

Maxie turned her back on Spinelli and Lulu as they waged their war of words. She hated Lulu, but she understood that Spinelli thought the world of her. Maxie couldn't help but feel terrible at the thought of taking that important person from his life. When Lulu stormed off, there was sad silence left. Maxie's shoulder shook from a few of the sobs that escaped her. Spinelli didn't deserve that.

He turned his attention back onto her, placing a hand on her elbow.

"You okay?" Spinelli asked timidly.

Maxie nodded. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I just guess I need to get ready for this. They're all going to ridicule me. She won't be the first."

Spinelli grabbed her hand and led her over to one of the tables. The two sat down and stared at each other, completely at a loss for words. When Lulu was there they both could ignore their reality for a little while, but in this new silence the truth had pulled up a chair to their table and neither could pretend it wasn't there anymore.

"We're in a lot of trouble." Maxie mumbled.

"No, no we aren't. This happens all the time. Lots of people have babies they never would have expected."

He said this as if he knew, but she didn't pry any further.Maxie hiccupped, her tears finally slowed to a stop.

"What are we going to do then?"

"What do you want to do?" he asked timidly. Maxie knew what he was trying to ask even though he couldn't say it.

"I'm keeping it if that's what you mean. That's why I asked what _we_ are going to do." Spinelli nodded and looked a little relieved.

They were quiet for a little while, as if a brilliant light bulb were bound to light up over one of their heads sometime soon with the perfect answer. Maxie remembered that she had set up and appointment with Dr. Lee. Spinelli would probably want to know that.

"I'm going to the doctor tomorrow."

"Good," he nodded in agreement. "That's a good first step."

"Would you come with me?" Maxie begged, her breathing quickening again. "I asked Sam but she's got to work that day and I just really want someone to be there with me…I mean, I understand if you can't come, it's just to confirm the pregnancy and all but still I wish you could."

She hoped that he couldn't hear the panic in her voice, but knew she had failed at pretending to not be afraid. Maxie had always allowed herself to show anger, happiness, and even sadness. Fear, however, was not permitted.

"Maxie. You know I'll be there." Spinelli assured her, but she looked down at her hands. "Look at me Maxie. I promised you didn't I? This is all going to be okay."

Maxie met his gaze and smiled a little. Spinelli had a way about him that calmed her. She stood and stretched both her arms out towards him, and he rose too, meeting her embrace. Maxie realized that there was a life in between them now, completely innocent, something hers. Spinelli was right. This wasn't a mess. People worse off than her dealt with pregnancy every day. Hell, people dealt with worse things than pregnancy every day.

----

_You lied you lying liar_. Everything is going to be okay? Nothing is going to be okay.

He'd faked strength for her. She needed that from him. It had made her smile. He wish she hadn't. Spinelli liked making Maxie smile by cracking jokes or doing something nice for her, like remembering her green tea. This time though Maxie was happy that he'd lied to her face. He wasn't ready for this at all.

Slamming the door the the penthouse, Spinelli threw his messenger bag on the ground and ripped his beanie off of his head, chunking it across the room. The afternoon sun was flooding the room with light, revealing every fleck of dust in the air and every imperfection normally overlooked. He strode across the room to close the blinds, taking a quick glance out the window to the city streets below.

Lulu was out there somewhere, hurt, his fault. Spinelli was pretty sure she wouldn't speak to him anymore. Her standard for forgiveness was unbalanced. He'd never made a bet to get her into bed, yet that was something she was very able to forgive. Instead he had slept with the enemy, which wasn't her business, but she still took it personally.

_Stop_ thinking about Lulu, you have bigger problems.

Sitting on the edge of the couch, Spinelli stared at the black television screen. He saw his pathetic reflection, a cowering figure shaking with fear, _not_ someone's father. He didn't know anything about fathers. Where had his been his entire life? For that matter, who was he? An average guy who'd had a one night stand? A wealthy man who'd been sleeping around on his wife? A lawyer, a mechanic, or a teacher? There was no one around these days to ask. Whoever he was, he was going to be a grandfather. It was strange how words and titles like "father" and "grandfather" could have so much value and yet none at all.

Maybe he should track down his mom, see how the streets were treating her, tell her the delightful news. Maybe she had quit the drugs and was now living a stable life, with a husband and two kids, and had simply forgotten his name. Either way she should know about his impending fatherhood, right? _That could be a real bonding moment for them_. She had been to afraid to raise him and now Spinelli felt the exact same way about his child. It was funny, the things we inherit from our parents.

His eyes burned, but Spinelli was determined not to cry. He stopped crying over his abandonment years ago when he realized that Mom wasn't coming back for him and Dad wasn't going to show up one fine afternoon begging to be forgiven, swearing he'd never known. No, his mom had dropped him off with Granny when he was four, said she'd be right back, and then lied.

Choking back a sob, Spinelli shuddered, tried to regain his composure. He looked around for the remote control to turn on the television, hoping for some distraction, but couldn't find it. Standing, he began pulling apart the coushins on the couch, finding the remote crammed into a crease. He didn't put the couch back together properly, just flopping down on the awkwardly stuffed back into place cushions.

The remote didn't work. He clicked the power button several times but nothing happened. Frustrated, he threw it across the room, narrowly missing the bar where Jason kept his expensive whiskey collection. The remote hit the wall instead and cracked into a few pieces. Spinelli grabbed at his hair and swiftly kicked the coffee table over onto its side, a coffee cup and decorative bowl shattering once they hit the ground.

_Don't make a bigger mess of things_. Crawling onto the floor, Spinelli began gingerly picking up the pieces of the ceramic items. He didn't notice the extremely sharp edge on one of the shards of the bowl, and his palm slashed open, running red. He yelped and pulled his hand to him, scooting away from the broken disaster.

Lying back on the carpet, Spinelli looked up at the ceiling, his vision blurred by tears he couldn't hold back anymore. What was the point in trying to be manly now? He pressed his bloodied hand into his chest, felt it pulsing in pain. He hadn't thought about his mother in so long he'd almost forgotten about her. She had red hair, he remembered.

Would his kid have her red hair?

The front door clicked open. He felt the hurried footsteps of the person who'd entered radiating through the ground as they rushed over to him. Jason's face came into view as he crowtched down beside Spinelli, looking concerned.

"Spinelli why are you on the ground? What happened in here?"

Spinelli sputtered and felt his face flush red hot. He hadn't wanted anyone, especially his mentor, to find him crushed like this.

"I'm in a lot of trouble."

Jason reached out a hand to help Spinelli off the floor. Surveying the mess he'd made, Spinelli wiped his eyes quickly and sat back down on the couch. Jason didn't follow suit, instead standing over him looking confused.

"Spinelli, do you want to tell me what's going on?" Jason waved his arm in the direction of the mess.

"It's Maxie," Spinelli confessed, unable to look Jason in the eye.

Jason shuffled a little, uncomfortable. "Um...Do I really need to know this? If this is another one of your big over shares I don't know if I'm going to be able to help you."

"No, Stone Cold, it's important."

"Okay, then, what about Maxie?"

Spinelli sighed. "She's pregnant."

Jason's expression was priceless. It was as if many things were registering with him at once, all bad.

"And this is your problem because..." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, Stone Cold, It's mine."

"You? You're sure about this? I don't know Maxie all that well but..well.."

"She _isn't_ lying," he explained, tired of having to say it.

Jason looked at him skeptically. No one got it. Maxie wasn't this horrible person that everyone assumed she was. He didn't have much room to speak, he used to be one of them just because Lulu said she was a bad person. But why couldn't people look into her eyes and see that she was more than that?

"She isn't. I know her, I was there when she was getting dizzy and it wasn't an act, and when she told me today that she was pregnant she was scared and you can't just fake that."

That seemed to shock Jason more than anything. "Are you _dating_ her or something? Since when did you get the time to know her?"

"We've been meeting on Thursday's to find out things about the Text Message Killer."

"And you didn't want me to know this because...?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought you would wonder if Maxie had some sort of malintent or evil plan."

Jason sighed and went over to the couch, sitting down. He pulled the coffee table back rightside up. Spinelli checked his hand to see if it had stopped bleeding. The front of his shirt was stained from where he'd placed it, and Spinelli was a little frustrated, realizng that it was one of his favorites. He hoped that he blood wouldn't stain. Jason was watching him quietly.

"Cut my hand on the bowl," he explained.

Jason frowned, and Spinelli looked away from him. He felt like his mentor was disappointed in him or something.

"We've gotten off topic. Let's talk about this. Maxie is pregnant and you are sure its your kid. Let's assume for a second that this is all true. Have you thought about what you are going to do at all?"

Spinelli shook his head. "I'm really good at a few things, average at a few others, and truly bad at a lot more. The family thing is not one of my strong points, especially the father aspect of one. Mine wasn't around, it's not like I have a lot to go on."

"Are you afraid that you aren't going to be a good father?"

"I'm terrified." Wasn't that obvious? He thrown a fit like a little kid and broken things. Did that sound like a qualified parental unit?

Jason smiled a little, looking a little far away. Spinelli thought he might have been thinking about his son. If anyone knew what it was like to be in his situation, it was Jason.

"That fear, that fear of failing, it's never going to go away. But it will decrease, I can promise you that," Jason spoke quietly. "A lot of people don't believe that though. They think that if they're afraid now when there isn't a living breathing person dependent on them then when one actually comes along it will be so much worse that they won't be able to function." Jason's words tumbled into Spinelli's heart, giving him a little more courage.

"Your father might have been one of those people. But you aren't."

Spinelli smiled for the first time, this image of a little boy no older than two with big blue eyes and a head full of dark messy hair, reaching up his hand as if he wanted to be picked up, flashed in his mind. A son? Was that some sort of premonition? His heart was racing, butterflies in his stomach.

Jason continued talking. "Your going to do the right thing, Spinelli. I've never seen you do anything except just that."

"Yeah," he replied, wiping his eyes again and nodding his head ferverently. "Yeah, and he's going to be mine, you know? My family. "

"He? Isn't it a little early to be guessing the whole pink vs. blue thing?"

"Oh yeah, I meant he or she. Either way, you know. Doesn't matter." Spinelli laughed, suddenly giddy. Jason clapped him on the back, smiling a little too at his friends sudden burst of energy.

"Hey, you go clean up that hand of yours, I'll pick up the mess."

Spinelli nodded and headed for the bathroom. The cool water on his hand stung painfully. Jason yelled a curse from the living room and Spinelli peaked his head out of the doorway to call out to him what was wrong.

"Damn it, Spinelli, you broke the remote too?"

"Sorry Stone Cold." he called out.

"...It's okay." Jason yelled back.

Spinelli suddenly realized how wrong he'd been. Jason was like a brother, cool uncle, and father all rolled into one. So, he had a makeshift family. That was more than a lot of people got. Maybe it would be enough.

----

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. It was really hard to write, and I'm not completely happy with it. But whatever, sometimes you've just got to let the little things go, right? Btw, thanks for all the awesome reviews for last chapter. It really encouraged me, especially because I've been kind of scared about how you guys would take the pregnancy twist. **

**If anyone HASN'T heard the thirty second clip of Bradford Anderson (aka Spinelli) singing My Funny Valentine then leave me a review and I'll send you the link in a review reply or by email if you would prefer. It has been described by many as "stunning", "amazing" and "liquid sex." Yeah. Liquid sex.**

**If you would like to get your Spinelli snark on a daily level, head over to livejournal and search for the spinelligh group (thats spinelli underscore gh...for some reason underscores don't show up when I try to type them). Seriously, come join us. It's sometimes the highlight of my day! **

**Next Chapter: Fists are going to be flying! **


	6. The Hush

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 6: The Hush**

Lulu didn't sleep easy that night after Spinelli told her about Maxie's fake pregnancy. Her friend didn't deserve to be dragged into another one of Maxie's stupid plans. It made her sick.

When she woke up the next morning, Lulu knew she had to do something. Scrolling through the numbers in her cell phone, she found the one that would hurt Maxie the most. Her finger was on the call button, but something made her hesitate.

If she did called this person, Spinelli would probably end up getting in the middle of Maxie's punishment. He was fiercely loyal, and it would just be something he would do. Never mind that Maxie didn't give a damn about him. Still, she didn't want Spinelli to get hurt.

_He knocked you out at the Black and White Ball to save you from doing something stupid._

It was time to return the favor.

She pressed the call button and waited as the phone rang a few times. _Come on, pick up, before I lose my nerve._

"Cooper here, what's up?"

Lulu smiled a little. "Hey Coop, it's Lulu. I just found out something I think you should know…"

----

"Did you see the look on Dr. Lee's face when I told her I thought I was pregnant?" Maxie scoffed, obviously offended.

"The Wise Doc indeed had a strange range of emotions. I think she was confused about what I was doing there for a long time."

Spinelli and Maxie had just gone to the hospital to confirm Maxie's pregnancy, a very weird and awkward situation for all involved. Dr. Lee had been skeptical the entire time, making Maxie agitated and Spinelli feel as though he were caught in the crossfire of a tricky negotiation between powerful countries. A "you give me the hostages and we'll dismantle the bomb" sort of negotiation.

"She'll probably personally run the test to make sure I can't sneak in the hospital and tamper with it."

They were walking down to the docks, taking in the strange situation they'd found themselves in. It was the first nice day in a long time, the sun glowing down on the city without a harsh mentality but instead a welcoming one. Day one of he and Maxie's pregnancy journey had officially happened. A funny thought occurred to him.

"Think I should start a blog?" Spinelli asked.

"A what?"

He tried to explain, shocked that she didn't know what a blog was. "You know...an online journal...I could call it 'The Jackal Presents: Accidents Happen-- A Baby Story'."

"Cautionary tale of the one night stand." Maxie said with a wicked grin, smacking him playfully on the arm. "That's horrible."

Spinelli laughed. "Yeah, it is."

"Kind of funny though," Maxie admitted.

He couldn't think of any truer words. This was definitely a laughable situation. They were new friends, had complete opposite personalities, and yet now they had this incredibly important connection between them. Someone in charge of the universe must have had a sense of humor.

"The Jackal agrees that there seems to be some sort of cosmic joke going on."

Maxie sighed, stopping for a moment to look out into the water. Spinelli was a little taken aback by her sudden show of melancholy. They'd been getting along quite nicely so far, but now she looked different. She could change moods like Texas weather. Even in the bright sunshine he could see clouds welling up in her eyes. Just another layer to the enigma that was his friend.

"Is there going to be a moment when this makes sense?" she spoke quietly, tucking her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

He followed her gaze out into the water. "Most Doubtful."

"Well isn't this a wonderful heartwarming sight?" called a cold voice from behind them. Spinelli and Maxie both spun around to face the interrupter, surprised to see Coop standing there at the top of the stairs.

Maxie shuffled awkwardly, giving him a small wave. "Coop. Hey, how are you?"

Coop considered her for a moment, then slowly paced down the stairs. His boots fell heavily on the wooden planks, their creaking under his weight seemed menacing.

Pausing at the last step, Coop replied. "I'm good, Maxie. How about you? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Oh...yeah, well...you know...busy." Maxie said, shrugging a little too lightly. Spinelli sensed that she was aware of how tense the situation was. Coop started walking towards them again, each step seemed calculated. The soldier was taking in the situation, waiting for orders.

"I've been wondering why you were avoiding my calls. Now it makes sense. Well, no, it doesn't make sense, but it's an explanation."

Maxie paled. "What are you talking about Coop?"

"Who's better in bed, Maxie? Me or _The__ Jackal_?"

"_What_?"

"Lulu thought I'd like to know that you've been shacking up with that weirdo."

"Coop..." Maxie's eyes bugged out of their sockets. Spinelli felt his face burn. So the secret was out. He wondered who else Lulu felt the need to tell. _It was a mistake, would anyone understand that? _Coop was no longer playing the calm and cool act, clenching his fists. He looked generally hurt.

"Tell me she was lying and I'll believe you."

Maxie was silent. Spinelli was surprised she didn't take him up on that offer. Maybe she was just ready to tell the truth, rip the band aid off quickly. Coop looked furious. He took the last few remaining feet between him in a quick stride, getting extremely close to Maxie.

"You've got to be kidding me...I mean, first you sleep my best friend and now you cheat on me with him? He's a joke!"

She was just looking up at him, shaking. Where had that spirit of hers gone? Did she only stand up for herself when Lulu was involved? Maxie took a step back, and Spinelli realized she was inches from the edge of the dock. If she stopped paying attention she could stumble in.

"Get out of her face," Spinelli said dangerously. Coop turned his focus on him, almost as if he had forgotten that he was there.

"Oh, and what are you going to do, Spinelli?"

Spinelli shrugged. "Stop you from disrespecting Maxie by any means necessary."

Coop shoved Spinelli square in the Chest, knocking him off balance enough for Coop to get in a good punch directly to Spinelli's jaw. He saw stars, but quickly hit back, knocking Coop square in the eye. He flinched for a quick second but then lunged for Spinelli, both of them falling to the ground,. Coop tried to pin him down, pummeling where ever he could reach. Spinelli covered his head, blocking as best as he could. Freeing his leg enough to knee Cooper in the stomach, Spinelli gained a few seconds of relief. Coop grabbed his stomach in pain quickly, and Spinelli was about to hit back when Maxie's face came into view.

"Get off of him, Coop!" she pleaded, pulling on his shoulders, trying to break them up. Coop ignored her and flung her off of him, roughly enough so that she flew backwards and hit the ground hard. Spinelli was infuriated by that. He pushed himself up, fueled with adrenaline, catching Coop off guard, pinning him to the ground this time.

"She's pregnant you idiot! If you touch her again I will never let you forget it!" Spinelli screamed, his face inches from Coop's startled face. He tasted bitter blood in his mouth and realized he'd bitten his tongue. Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, Spinelli himself off of Coop, the world swimming in and out of view. He felt so dizzy stumbling over to help Maxie up, almost sinking down back to the ground a few more times. Coop had done a number on him. He'd be embarrassed if he hadn't been so concerned about Maxie.

She was sitting up slowly when he got to her. He sighed with relief when he realized that Maxie looked more startled than hurt.

"You okay?" he asked, reaching out a hand to help her up.

Maxie nodded as she stood. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

She was looking at him intently, her eyes darting all over his face, and Spinelli realized that he must have look incredibly bad. Tentatively touching a hand to his lip, Spinelli felt it swelling already. His nose was also bleeding heavily, all of the pain seemed to hit him at once. He was tempted to take another swing at Coop, maybe getting a chance to even the odds.

Cooper had also gotten off the ground, holding his stomach. The eye that Spinelli had hit seemed to be already turning blue. That gave him a little sense of satisfaction. Coop looked confused, and for a second Spinelli wondered if maybe he'd knocked him silly.

"Did I hear you correctly?" he asked, walking backwards slowly away from them.

Maxie looked ready to go a few rounds in the ring.

"If you heard Spinelli say that I'm pregnant, then yes. You heard correctly."

Coop shook his head. "This is too much."

"Don't worry, Coop. It's not yours." Maxie spat.

Coop and Maxie stood there for a moment, speaking only with their eyes. It was over, time to move on. Then, Coop turned and walked away without another word. Maxie turned back to Spinelli, grabbing him by the arm, leading him away from the docks.

"Come on, Spin..." She said quietly, wiping her eyes quickly. He pretended not to see her, looking at the ground. "Let's get you cleaned up...you're all bleedy."

----

The pair headed back the Jason's penthouse, taking refuge from the craziness of the day in Spinelli's room. The paint on his walls was emasculating. Maxie wondered how Spinelli could tolerate having a color surround him all day long. The walls were the color of a nausea remedy.

"Your room is really pink."

"Regrettably so."

Maxie was sitting in Spinelli's desk chair, spinning around a few times. Spinelli was lying down in his bed, holding a bag of ice chips to his cheek. She felt horribly for him. Once again, Spinelli had suffered more on behalf of both of them. First he got a broken heart from Lulu, now he had a busted lip and bloody nose from Coop. She checked off both from her list of people who would be angered or disbelieving of her pregnancy, hoping the rest of those on the list would be kinder to Spinelli. Maxie could kill Lulu for ratting them out, but in her delicate state murder might not best for the baby.

"I don't remember it being so pink." _It was dark though_. Maxie started digging around on Spinelli's desk, finding an IPod. She started scrolling through the music, trying to see if he had anything worth listening to. Most of the artists she'd never heard of, and there was some classical stuff, then a few popular singers.

"Might I ask what the Formerly Bad Blonde One is doing?" Spinelli peaked out from his bag of ice, watching her.

Maxie shrugged. "Seeing if you have any descent taste in music."

"Don't judge The Jackal too harshly...If you tell anyone I have a Spice Girls song on there I'll deny it til the last day I breathe." He hissed a little, readjusting the ice. Maxie continued scrolling through the his playlists, finally spotting something of taste.

"Hey, you have Sia."

"Who?" Spinelli wasn't pay attention, gingerly touching his swollen lip.

"Sia...here...listen." Maxie rose from her chair and crawled onto the bed, scooting close enough to him so that they both could share the headphones. Spinelli looked confused for a moment as they listened, but then it seemed as if something clicked in his head.

"Oh, I think Georgie put that on there."

That sealed the deal. Both sat in silence, taking in the haunting piano and the strange vocalist. Maxie sank into her own little world, letting the song take over. She glanced at Spinelli and saw that he was doing the same, his green-blue eyes looking miles away. Maxie wondered what he was thinking about.

"It's pretty, right?"

Spinelli nodded. "What is she saying? I didn't catch that."

"Ummm…_Be_ _my friend, hold me. Wrap me up, unfold me_."

"_I am small_...?"

"Yeah, _'and needy, warm me up and breathe me_.'"

"Wow," he said simply. Maxie had to agree, the song was beautiful. She noticed for the first time how close they were, how natural it felt this time around. He was still listening to the song, looking lost in his own little world. She gently brushed some hair of out his face, a gesture that startled her. _Why did I do that? _Quickly grabbing the IPod, Maxie started shuffling through the rest of Spinelli's music.

"Let's see what else you have on here," she said, scanning. Spinelli raised his hand slowly and touched her wrist. She stared down at the contact and stopped what she was doing. Something seemed to shift in the air.

"No," he murmured groggily, closing his eyes. "Just keep it on this. I like this. It's putting me to sleep."

"Well then, I'm sorry you find it so boring," Maxie replied, still looking at his hand on her wrist. He took his hand back and crossed it over his chest, and Maxie felt relieved. Of what, she did not know.

"No, I mean it's peaceful. Kind of stress reducing..."

"Okay," Maxie stretched out on his bed, putting the IPod between them. Spinelli scooted over a little to make room for her. She noticed that he did this without seeming awkward. Maybe there were too many factors in place now for the two to be uncomfortable around each other, but Maxie couldn't help but be a little shocked as to how quickly their barriers were falling down.

The IPod played song after song, and Maxie was almost asleep when her cell phone went off. Reaching for it, she glanced at the number, realizing she had no idea who it was.

"Hello?"

"Maxie?" The voice was familiar.

"Yes..."

"Hi Maxie, It's Dr. Lee. I have your results."

"Oh, yeah..."

"You were right, you're expecting." Dr. Lee sounded a lot nicer this time around, probably do the fact that all of her assumptions had been wrong. Maxie took in her words, trying to realize how she felt about being told something she already knew. Of course, there was always that small chance that she did have a tumor.

"Okay."

"Well, how's about we set up and appointment ASAP so we can get you on the right track, okay?"

Maxie thought quickly, trying to process it all."Yeah, that's sounds good. Um...I'll call you back tomorrow okay? I have to look at my work schedule."

"That's fine. Try to make an appointment as soon as possible though because we really should get a start on this."

"Okay. I'll do that. Thanks."

"No problem. I'll be seeing you soon." Maxie hung up the phone, a hundred thoughts racing through her mind. She'd been expecting this, right? Why did it feel so new all of a sudden?

"Who was that?" Spinelli asked her groggily.

"Dr. Lee."

"And?" He seemed suddenly very alert. Perhaps he too had silently wished it was a tumor. She couldn't blame him for that though. It could have been a benign, easily removed tumor. That wouldn't be so bad. Better than a lifelong commitment.

Maxie sighed. "Didn't tell us anything that we didn't already know."

"Oh...okay then." Spinelli looked fine, but she knew exactly how he was feeling. When they were just speculating, they were allowed to speak in hypothetical terms. However, now someone with expert knowledge had formed an opinion and the world looked a little different.

"It's suddenly more real, isn't it?"

He didn't answer, just rearranged his ice for the hundredth time. Maxie felt bad for him. She had woken in his bed to her sister's haunting laughter, knowing something was slightly off. Spinelli didn't have that luxury. He deserved time to take it all in, and thankfully they had that. Seven and a half months worth to be exact, time they would need to figure out who they were and who they were going to be. Seven and a half months to start preparations. There were things that had to be arranged, stuff to buy. Babies needed toys and a crib and clothes--

"Oh my god I'm going to have to go shopping," Maxie declared with a jolt. This pregnancy thing was going to make it so that all her cute clothes were no longer options. _Maternity clothes, the horror._ She wouldn't let her style be the victim of this pregnancy that was for sure.

Spinelli was laughing at her. "_What_?"

Didn't he get it? This was a huge deal! "I'm not going to have any clothes that fit soon!"

Turning toward her a little bit, he kept grinning at her as if she were speaking with a British accent or something.

"Is that the biggest thing on your mind?"

"Well...it's a _really_ important thing..."

Spinelli laughed again, and she could hit him, but he looked pretty pathetic already so she refrained.

"_Max_..."

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied, shaking his head.

"Okay, Mr. Jackal, how do you plan to contribute to this? I'm going to buy new clothes and look awesome. What are you going to do?"

He pondered her question for a moment. "Ask for a raise from Stone Cold."

Maxie's heart broke again. Here she was thinking about things like clothes and style and he was actually considering the future of their child. She scooted back over to him and held his ice in place, feeling guilty.

"Aww...I didn't mean for real...where's the fun in that?"

He looked up at her."It would be wise to start considering such things, right?"

Maxie avoided his question. She really didn't want to think about the confounded details just yet. Didn't they deserve a little bit of peace? Spinelli was looking at her as if waiting for a reply, but she didn't have the answer for him.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"Boy," he answered without a sign of doubt in his voice. Maxie scoffed at him.

"Well that's a typical male for you."

He shrugged slightly. "No...I don't know...I just think it's a boy."

She raised her eyebrows, skeptical. "You're making predictions now?"

"Nope...just a feeling."

Maxie thought about it for a moment. A little boy...With his father's antisocial grace and her blonde hair? Or with his father's messy hair and her socially disastrous grace? Both scenarios brought a smile to her face. This would be interesting.

"Aww...well that would be cute wouldn't it?"

Spinelli sighed. "This is really happening..."

"You're telling me."

Lying back on the bed, she tilted her head onto Spinelli's shoulder. Feeling around for the IPod, Maxie plugged an ear bud into Spinelli's ear, then her own, and turned the music back up. Maxie sank back into her little sea of thoughts, letting the music take over. She glanced over at Spinelli and saw that he looked peaceful, both eyes closed, probably asleep. Even with the music, Maxie noticed again how hushed things were. She had lived her life so loudly that it was strange to sit back and be silent. Spinelli brought out the quiet in her.

So he thought it was a boy? The thought alone made her smile.

**----**

**A/N: I enjoyed this chapter, I hope you did as well. Go listen to Sia's "Breathe Me" to get a better picture of the chapter. It and Ben Folds' "The Luckiest" are the theme songs to this fic.**

**Check out the Spinelli livejournal or BradfordAnderson . Net for information on the _Hugs for Spinelli Campaign_, a crusade where we Jackal fans team up to support our fave quirky hacker during February Sweeps. We need all the support we can get. I don't know about you, but Spinelli is _the reason_ I watch GH. The Spinmax pairing is also being watched VERY closely by The Important People…If you're a Spixie I encourage you to find a way to show your support. Review/Message me for more details if you would like them.**

**Two stories you should check out from my fellow Spinelli friends: Average Everyday Sane Psycho's Second Chances and Forever Home by Katdvs.**

**Next Chapter: I'm undecided…I try to stick to the "for every laugh there is a tear" mentality so expect something like that I suppose. : )**


	7. Forewarning

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 7: Forewarning**

_Maxie wandered down the hospital hallways, looking for something, not knowing what. How did she get here? She glanced down at her __clothing,__ saw that she was wearing a hospital gown. Her round stomach was protruding loudly from underneath the white fabric. Bare feet tapped against the cold tiled floor, leading her down corridor after corridor, knowing the way even if she did not. _

_She turned a corner and saw two people standing with their backs turned to her. One of the people, a small woman with blonde hair, gently brushed the hand of the person standing next to her, a slightly taller figure with dark brown hair. He grabbed her hand tightly. As Maxie approached the two, the shimmered with light and then disappeared. _

_Where they had been stood a little boy, probably no older than four, simply looking at her.__ He had a small face similar to the one she saw in the mirror every morning, but very large blue eyes and a head of messy hair. _

_"Hello," she whisper__ed, waving a little._

_"Bye!" He replied, returning her wave, then ran off down the hallway. __Maxie ran to keep up with him, catching a glimpse of him sneaking into a doorway.__ Before she followed him in, she read the sign posted by the entrance. It read 'cardiology'. She entered the __room,__ saw a man in a white lab coat. He turned to her and smiled. It was Jesse. But that didn't make sense...Jesse was dead. _

_"Hello Maxie," he said with a smile. _

_"Jesse?"_

_"Are you looking for the cardiologist?"_

_"Who?"_

_"The heart doctor."_

Maxie jolted awake. Her eyes tried to adjust the darkness. She had no idea where she was. Sitting up, Maxie realized she was still in Spinelli's bed. They must have been asleep for hours because it was pitch black outside. The glowing alarm clock read 9:32. There was a thudding noise, and Maxie realized it was her heart beating wildly in her chest. What had that dream been about?

Spinelli shuffled a little but didn't wake up. The bag of ice that had been on his face was now melted and had slipped down onto his neck. Maxie grabbed it before her friend rolled over onto it and woke up to a wet mess. Even in the poor lighting, his face didn't look bad. The most noticeable thing was the slit that traveled down the center of his bottom lip where Coop had gotten a good swing in.

Inching out of the bed so as not to wake him, Maxie found her cell phone and used it as a flashlight to maneuver her way out of his room. He needed to clean up the place. There were books and clothes tossed about, empty bottles of orange soda littering the floor. Finally out the door, Maxie traipsed down the staircase, noticing the living room was glowing with light. She hoped that Jason wasn't home.

No such luck. Jason was at the office desk working on some sort of paperwork. The bottom stair squeaked when she stepped on it, and Jason spun around. He really did have some quick reflexes. _Never sneak up on Jason Morgan. _Jason raised his eyebrows at her, and she felt her cheeks flush red. This was the second awkward encounter they'd had.

"Not what it looks like."

Jason looked skeptical. "Why are you here?"

"Uh...Spinelli is upstairs asleep," She replied, instantly regretting how that sounded. Jason was looking at her as if he really wished she would stop talking. "Once again…not what it looks like…Coop and him got in a fight…"

That caught his attention. Instantly Jason's demeanor changed. He looked concerned, and Maxie saw for the first time with her own eyes the level of Spinelli and Jason's strange friendship.

"Is he hurt?"

Maxie shrugged. "Busted lip and bloody nose was the worst of it…I think he'll be okay by morning though…"

"I'm assuming this has to do with..." Jason began, motioning his hands towards Maxie. She rolled her eyes. People were going to look at the situation Spinelli and Maxie found themselves in with all sorts of reactions, that didn't mean she would ever get used to any of them.

"Yes."

Jason paused for a moment, considering her. He took the paperwork from his desk and tucked it into a drawer. As Jason was rising from his desk, Maxie felt anxious. _Here it comes_. Everyone had to give them their two cents. Didn't anyone get that this was a time for nickels and dimes, a situation where pennies were useless?

"I've been meaning to talk to you." He crossed his arms in front of him, speaking to her in a low voice. At least he wasn't yelling. That was a nice change.

"Uh ok..."

"I don't like to interfere with people's lives. However, this is one of those times where I feel like I have to say something." Jason paused, looking at her with that robot stare of his. Maxie shifted uncomfortably. She took a quick glance at the door and wondered if she could leave before Jason got the chance to pass judgment on her. "Are you messing with Spinelli? Is this some sort of game?"

Maxie sighed._Et __tu__, Brute?__ Well, Jason's not really your friend so I suppose that reference doesn't work. _"No Jason. This isn't a game."

Jason's expression didn't change. "Spinelli is a good person. Don't jerk him around. He's had enough of that."

"Yeah, I get it. And you're right. He is a good person."

Jason shook his head as if he thought Maxie was missing the point. "If it turns out your lying about this pregnancy you might devastate him."

She hadn't expected that. Spinelli was just as scared as she was, right? There would a moment where they could be happy, she supposed, but weren't they both still in a state of shock about the whole thing? It had only been a few days ago that the two of them were completely unconnected accept in their friendship. That wasn't enough time for anyone to get completely invested in the baby, it was impossible. Finding out that Maxie was lying about the entire thing would be a huge relief, wouldn't it?

"Why? If I was lying it would mean that he doesn't have to raise a kid with me. We're both terrified."

Jason sighed, frustrated. "I understand that, fear is one thing. As scared as he may be, you've also made him really happy."

"I don't understand," Maxie replied blankly.

"You've noticed how Spinelli clings to people, right?" Jason whispered this, eyeing the staircase as if he were afraid Spinelli would walk into their conversation at any minute. Maxie realized that Jason was actually confiding something in her.

"Yeah...I mean...Well, he practically worships you and Lulu."

"I think he's clingy for a reason." Jason finally spoke with a little bit of animation to his face. Maxie crossed her arms over her chest and took a few steps towards Jason. She wanted him to get to the point.

"What do you mean?"

"Spinelli doesn't have a family. Well, except for his grandmother. She raised him, but I get the feeling she was really strict on him."

Maxie's stomach churned a little. It seemed as though Spinelli and her had more in common that she realized. She had always assumed he was a big Mama's Boy, encouraged to be "creative" his entire life, his parents buying him expensive computers and software to aid his genius. Maxie understood what Jason was trying to say to her in so many words. Whether or not he was afraid to raise a baby was not the real issue for Spinelli. Her souvenir from their one night stand meant more to him than Maxie could have ever realized. She was giving Spinelli a _family_.

Maxie's hand touched her stomach and for the first time she registered the life inside of her. Jason was still speaking, but Maxie had a hard time hearing him over the humming in her head. Spinelli already loved their baby, even if he didn't realize it completely. He had told her he thought the baby was boy, made a connection to it. Maxie was suddenly on his same wavelength and felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"He's only told me so much. It's probably the one thing he's vague about. Don't bug him about it. If we wants to tell someone he will. Just keep that in mind, and if you're lying, stop now. He's my friend, and he doesn't deserve to be hurt."

Maxie shook her head furiously. "I don't want to hurt him. Honest."

Jason nodded, and Maxie had the feeling that he believed her. "Then we understand each other."

They stood there in silence for a moment. Maxie inched a few steps towards the door and Jason got out of her way. She had a foot out the door before she realized she'd forgotten something. Jason was heading back up the stairs.

"Jason?"

Pausing on a step, Jason turned back to her. "Yes?"

She fiddled with the doorknob, feeling a little silly. "Tell him I said goodbye."

Jason smiled a little."I can do that."

----

Lulu stirred her coffee, lost in thought. She didn't feel as though she had done the right thing by ratting Maxie out to Coop. It had nothing to do with feeling bad for Maxie and everything to do with the fact that she knew Spinelli would be furious with her. It had been too quiet. After she'd made the phone call the past morning, Lulu had expected to have Maxie breaking down her door within the hour. Nothing of the sort had happened though.

Logan walked into the diner and pulled up a chair next to her. He looked like he was in a good mood but frowned when he saw the expression on Lulu's face.

"What's got you down, Lulu?"

Lulu shook her head. "Oh…I'm fine. Promise."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Liar."

The bell on the door tinkled as another person entered. It was Coop, and Lulu's stomach did flip-flops. He had a black eye. Logan whistled, impressed.

"Wow, Coop, looks like you took one hell of a hit." Logan pointed at the chair across from the two of them and waved for Coop to sit down. Coop was glaring at Lulu the entire time. _Uh oh._Logan looked anxious to hear the story, practically bouncing in his seat.

"So let's hear it, Coop. Who'd you fight?"

Coop sighed, looking at his hands. "Why don't you ask Lulu."

Logan turned to her and looked shocked and amazed. "Did _you_ hit him?"

Lulu scoffed. "No I didn't hit him."

Coop drummed his fingers on the tabletop. He was furious, she could tell. Lulu broke their eye contact. She hadn't wanted him to get in a fight with Spinelli, just break up with Maxie. Was that so bad?

"No, she just had me to her dirty work. I realize that now."

Logan looked at the two of them, confused. "What are you talkin about Coop?"

Coop shrugged. "You wanna tell him or should I?"

Lulu sighed. She didn't even want to say the words. Logan wasn't going to let her walk away from the table without answering, that was sure. He sat there, waiting.

"Maxie slept with Spinelli," Lulu explained quickly, essentially spitting the words out.

"What the hell? Whoa...what?" Logan's eyes went as big as saucers. It was as if he couldn't decide whether or laugh or to choke on his own air. He gestured oddly with his hands. Coop cleared his throat loudly.

"Oh, don't forget to tell him the best part."

It was as if Christmas came twice for Logan. He was the only one absolutely amused by the conversation. "Wait…what? There's more? I'm trying to wrap my head around the thought that _Pinocchio_ is now a _real boy_ and you're trying to tell me there's more?" Lulu nearly threw up. Logan did not have a way with words.

"Oh my god, did you have to put it that way?" She buried her face in her hands, hoping to press the horrible image out of her head.

"Maxie's pregnant," Coop added.

Lulu looked up, glaring right back at Coop. "No, she's not. She's lying."

Logan looked as though she were going to hyperventilate. "What…the hell…is going on?"

Coop was ignoring Logan's confusion and answered Lulu's accusation. "She's never lied to me. Told me that little gem yesterday on the docks. Right after Spinelli and I fought."

Lulu was horrified. She'd been praying there was some other explanation as to why Coop was walking around town with a black eye.

"You beat up Spinelli? Why would you do that?"

"Maybe because he slept with my girlfriend!"

"She tricked him," Lulu explained, her heart racing at the thought of how badly she's gotten her friend hurt. Coop was a soldier and Spinelli got all of his exercise from typing on a keyboard. "She's trying to piss me off or something…I can't figure out what her angle is at the moment but Spinelli doesn't deserve to be in the middle of it. How bad is he hurt?"

Cooper laughed cruelly. "Why do you care so much? You're the one who told me in the first place."

"I just wanted to mess up Maxie's life like she's messing up my best friend's!"

Logan held up his hands in an effort to silence the two of them. He was red faced from excitement. Lulu wanted to hit him. He just didn't get how upsetting this was to her.

"Everyone hold their horses. I need one minute of summary."

"Shut up, Logan," Coop spat.

Logan waved his hands, dismissing Coop. "No no no, wait. I need to take all this in. You're telling me that Hacker Boy got his _world rocked_ by Maxie Jones?" Logan paused and threw his hands up in the air. "You know what, I think I'm happy for him. I should congratulate him."

Coop pushed his chair back and stood to leave. "Logan, you're an ass. I genuinely cared about Maxie."

Logan wasn't laughing anymore once he saw how he'd hurt his friend. "Coop…come back…it's funny!

Coop was already gone. Lulu kicked him under the table. "Shut up, Logan."

"I'm sorry, Lulu…" Logan looked as though he had just realized how hurtful some of the things he had said were. He put a hand on top of hers.

Lulu sighed. "Look, I understand that you don't like Spinelli," Logan opened his mouth to speak but Lulu didn't let him. "But I really do care about him. I'm not very good to him at all, at least not like he is to me. That's going to change. I'll be damned if Maxie is going to trick him like she tricked my brother."

"So you don't think she's pregnant?" Logan spoke gentler this time.

"No. No way. Impossible."

Logan raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Are you sure about that? I mean…it would be really dumb of her to pull the same scam twice, right?"

Lulu thought she would dissolve into the air. She had never thought of that.

----

Spinelli lounged on the couch eating a bowl of cheerios and watching television, Spongebob to be exact. He felt really good for the first time in days. Maxie was scheduled for her first appointment with Dr. Lee later in the week, allowing him to feel a little relieved that someone was going to be helping them. Things were going okay.

Jason flung the front door open and shut it a little too hard. Spinelli froze, a spoonful of cereal halfway on its journey to his mouth. Jason removed his leather jacket and hung it up in the closet by the door, not saying a word. Spinelli turned off the cartoon as slyly as he could, hoping to not be caught watching such childish television by his mentor. Spinelli punched the power button several times and then remembered that he had broken it the past week. Setting his bowl of cereal down on the coffee table, Spinelli inched in front of the television and switched it off just as Jason was turning back around.

"Morning Stone Cold," Spinelli greeted him warmly. Jason didn't reply, throwing his keys and some papers on the desk. "Something wrong?"

Jason picked up a picture from the desk. It was of the Godprince Micheal and his mother. Spinelli worried he was invading Jason's privacy. He wondered if he should leave. Jason sat the picture down gently and backed away from the desk, still focusing on the picture.

"I always hoped that Sonny and I would keep violence away from our families."

Spinelli's heart sank. Something bad was going on. "Wait…what happened? Did something happen?"

Jason rubbed the back of his neck, obviously stressed. "I just caught Michael trying to steal Sonny's pistol."

Spinelli had not been expecting that. "Whoa…What would the Godprince want with a such a mighty weapon?"

Jason shook his head, and for once Spinelli knew that his mentor was completely confused about what to do. Stone Cold always had the right answer, knew exactly what to do in a time of crisis. Spinelli wasn't talking to Stone Cold though. Jason Morgan, human being, had taken his place.

"He believes that it's his duty to protect his mother and he's convinced that violence is the only way to achieve that."

Spinelli didn't know what to say. "Heavy stuff," he replied lamely.

Jason turned his focus on him, looking him dead in the eye. "Spinelli, you learn this now before your kid comes into the world. Everything you do is seen by them. Everything. They're watching you, and more importantly, they're learning from you."

Jason finished and stood there for a moment. Spinelli nodded his head to make sure that Jason knew he'd taken his words to heart. After a moment, Jason headed to the stairs and up to his room, leaving a heaviness in the air that had not been there before. So much for Spinelli's great day. He grabbed the bowl of cheerios, then realized sadly that they were all soggy now.

Spinelli walked to the bottom of the stairs, feeling as though he should tell Jason something. Jason's quiet sadness seemed to be drifting throughout the house. What could you say to a man that tried but failed? It's okay, you'll do better next time? That didn't work when a child was involved.

It might not have been the greatest situation, but Spinelli realized how blessed he was. He and Maxie wouldn't ever have to face the daily challenges that Jason and Sonny did when it came to their children. It was a lesson he wouldn't ever take for granted.

----

**A/N: Great week for ****Spinmax**** fans. My Funny Valentine was released on ****Itunes****, new pictures of a ****Spinmax**** fantasy scene were released, and I actually got an message from Bradford Anderson on ****Myspace**** saying how "plum thrilled" he was about working with Kristen Storms and their pairing. ****Exciting stuff going on.**** If you want more information on where you can get daily Spinelli goodness like this, review or send me a private message. Also, go read anything and everything by D-****Tepes****, especially Connections. He writes the best Spinelli I've ever had the pleasure of reading.**

**This chapter dedicated to the Spinelli fans working their fingers to the bone to support the Jackal during sweeps and keeping us fans informed. They know who they are. **

_**This chapter was a little odd, I'm really curious as to what you guys thought about it. ****Notice the chapter title****. Everything in it was ****foreshadowing**** to things that will happen later. I'll allow you to speculate. If you want spoilers, don't hesitate to ask. **_

**Next Chapter: Dr. Lee discusses the danger of the pregnancy and ****its**** Lulu vs. Maxie REDUX.**


	8. Loose Lips Sink Ships

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 8: Loose Lips Sink Ships (Kiss and Tell)**

Spinelli's stomach turned as Dr. Lee clicked her pen, reading over a chart. Click. _How's the baby_? Click. _Is everything normal_? Click. _Stop clicking the pen_. Click. _Stop_. Click. Click. Click. He couldn't't read her face. Maxie was sitting lightly, swinging her legs over the edge of the exam table, drumming her fingers in her lap. Her eyes met his and she smiled brightly at him, giving him a quick wink. Spinelli brought his legs into the chair, pulling his knees up to his chest. She might act like everything was fine but this was like playing Silent Hill in the dark for him.

Finally, Dr. Lee spoke. "Well, I think everything sounds normal so far, Maxie."

Spinelli sighed with relief. Maxie stretched out the tip of her shoe and poked him in the knee playfully. The thudding in his chest instantly began to slow and he felt heat rising into his cheeks as Maxie chuckled at how tense he'd been. Perhaps it was time to lighten up.

"That's great," Maxie said to Dr. Lee, shuffling around on the exam table. Dr. Lee pulled up a chair in between the two of them. Spinelli's heart sank. Why was she sitting? The exam was over right? They could go. Sitting meant talking and worrying.

"However," Dr. Lee began with a note of seriousness, "While everything might seem fine, We still need to talk about the dangers that are on my mind."

Spinelli's voice almost caught in his throat. "What do you mean, dangers? I thought you said all was well and the wee one was normal."

Dr. Lee nodded. "I'm most concerned about Maxie. This pregnancy could put a lot of stress on her heart. I think you need to accept the reality that this is going to be an extremely risky pregnancy."

"Okay…I understand," Maxie sighed heavily, not with a lot of worry but with a seeming acceptance of the facts. It was great that she understood, but Spinelli was completely confused. How could everything be normal but dangerous at the same time?

"No, no, wait. Dangerous _how_?"

"The worst possibility is that Maxie might not be able to carry it to term if her heart can't handle the stress," Dr. Lee replied, clicking her pen a few more times. She must have realized how stressed that was making him, perhaps she could hear his heartbeat betraying his fears to the world. Dr. Lee gently pat him on his knee.

"We're going to try everything we can to prevent that from happening though, Spinelli. So far I'm not anticipating that kind of complication because we're going to be proactive."

"It's okay, Spin," Maxie muttered quickly. "I've already thought about this. Dr. Lee knows what she's doing."

Before Spinelli got a chance to reply Dr. Lee pulled out some forms and started filling in the blanks. He could read her handwriting upside down. _Damien Spinelli,_ she wrote across the top of the paper, the bold blue ink confusing him further. What was this going to be about?

"All right, Maxie," Dr. Lee began as she finished writing. "I know about your family history for the most part. It's all here in my files. However, I want to get a clear picture of any problems Spinelli or his family might have had so we can be on the lookout for any genetic concerns. This is already a delicate pregnancy. I think it best if we can paint the clearest picture possible, don't you agree?"

Spinelli felt someone standing at his side, preparing to peel back his skin to reveal a few of his secrets. He wished he could swat the intruder away without anyone seeing him, but it looked like he wouldn't be so lucky. Dr. Lee was looking at him, waiting.

"Uh…yeah…I just…um…What do you need to know?" Spinelli felt awkward. Maxie was watching him closely, her light attitude slinking off her shoulders.

"Well let's start with you. Any health issues?"

"No…none." Okay, so far so good.

Dr. Lee made a note. "No asthma or allergies? Low blood sugar? Chronic illness?"

"No."

"All right, well then, what about your father?"

"Um…I don't know." The secrets were shifting to the surface, itching to be relieved from their long prison sentence. Bile was rising in the back of his throat. He didn't want to tell everything here, not in this cold sterile room, not with this doctor who wouldn't stop clicking her pen.

"You can think about it. We have time."

"No…I don't know _who he is_." The first incision was over with, but the Secret Surgeon was just getting started.

"Oh." Dr. Lee's eyes popped very quickly, but she regained her professionalism quickly. "Okay. Well…let's see…what about mom?"

"She had red hair..." When he didn't speak any further, Dr. Lee paused, realizing what his silence meant. She looked from her empty form to Maxie, then back to the form. There it was, people wondering, guessing, judging. Maxie didn't look as if she were even breathing she was so still, eyeing him sadly. He wished she would stop looking at him.

Dr. Lee stood quickly. "I'm sorry…this is making you uncomfortable…"

"You don't have to answer any more," Maxie added. Dr. Lee headed towards the door, clicking her pen again. Spinelli looked away from both of them. This was a disaster. He just wanted to know that his baby would be okay, that it's mother would survive, that he could keep his promise to Maxie about making sure things would be okay.

"Well… I'll be right back with those prenatal vitamins, okay Maxie?" Dr. Lee left the room, taking with her an empty clipboard but more of his secrets than he would like. What would her notes say? Damien Spinelli, no asthma, no diabetes, no family.

"Spinelli…I'm sorry." Maxie jumped down from the exam table and moved into the chair that Dr. Lee had been sitting in.

"The Wise Doc didn't know. She just wanted to help our baby." Spinelli couldn't look her in the eye.

"No, Spinelli, don't do that," her voice pleaded with him. Maxie grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He flinched a little at the touch.

"Do what?"

"I'm sitting her watching you cave into yourself."

He finally me her gaze. "The Jackal does not know what you mean."

"You just did it again"

"What?"

Maxie watched him, incredulous. "_I've figured it out_... You don't speak in that weird code of yours when you're upset. Then when you're trying to _fake it_ you start talking about Wise Docs and The Jackal. How often do you do that?

"I don't know what you're talking about," he grumbled, covering his face with a hand. She was looking too closely.

"See, _now_ you're upset. Everyone is so used to your weird little language that we don't question it. Most of the time you just say things and it's natural. Then sometimes it's forced, like now. I'm not stupid, Spinelli."

Several things flashed through his mind at once. The woman who'd abandoned him pushing him on a swing. Maxie kissing him in the dark, her blonde hair glowing in the moonlight. His fist connecting with Logan's face when he'd betrayed Lulu. Jason's sometimes unbearable quiet when he was thinking about the son he couldn't claim. Spinelli tried to press the memories from his mind. Maxie had to stop looking at him.

"It's just that sometimes my mind is going a million miles a minute and I can't think about what I'm saying, okay?"

"Spinelli…"

"I don't want to talk about it." He launched from the chair, putting his back to Maxie so she couldn't do that thing where she read him and knew too much. She stood too, gripping his arm gently and turning him around. For a moment he could see the gentle gaze that Georgie always gave him reflected in Maxie.

"Okay, we don't have to. Just…don't bottle it up."

He stood there silently. Maxie pulled on the sleeve of his jacket.

"Hey, come on. We got good news, right? Everything looks normal."

Spinelli sighed. Oh, right. There were more pressing problems at hand. "Except the fact that your sweet heart might be at risk."

"Aww...Spinelli..." Maxie hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't worry about my sweet heart. My sweet heart knows kung fu."

He put his arms around her gingerly, trying not to invade her space too much. If something happened to her during this pregnancy he didn't know what he would do. Maxie's heart drummed calmly against his chest, each beat making him feel a little better. What was it Dr. Lee had said? They had to be proactive? The door swung open, startling the pair as Dr. Lee re-entered the room. She smiled apologetically, holding out a bottle to Maxie.

"Okay, here are your vitamins. I'd like to see you again in two weeks. Call me if you have any concerns okay? Even the slightest thing that seems out of place might be important."

"Thanks, Dr. Lee."

----

Maxie and Spinelli wandered down the hospital corridors in relative silence. She felt horrible for him. Never in her wildest speculations had she ever considered that he didn't even _know_ who his father was. It seemed that his mother was just as vague a figure. Maybe one day he would feel comfortable telling her the whole story. Jason had been right, though, this was definitely a sensitive subject with Spinelli.

At the elevator in front of the nurse's station. Spinelli suddenly froze. "The Jackal believes he may have left his communication device back in the exam room."

Maxie noticed he sounded a little better. "Okay, I'll just wait here while you get it."

"I'll make a hasty return."

Spinelli hadn't been out of sight for more than a few second before a hateful laugh sounded behind her.

"Oh, let me guess. First doctor visit? You've got to be kidding me. How long until you're stuffing your clothes with a pillow?"

_Bad timing, ShrewLu. _Maxie spun on her heels, put on her boxing gloves, and got ready for round three hundred and four of her and Lulu's epic fight. Lulu looked ready for a kill, but Maxie was never afraid to engage her.

"Mind your own business, Lulu."

Lulu scoffed. "This is really sickening."

"Just leave Spinelli and me alone. Don't you have boyfriends to worry about?" Maxie spat, emphasizing the "boyfriends". Lulu surely had bigger problems to deal with. Wasn't her dad missing in action after having heart surgery?

"I'm not going to let you do this to him."

Maxie threw her hands up. "Do what, Lulu? Be his _friend_? Is that what you're upset about?"

It seemed as thought the Bad Blonde One was stretching back into her old skin. Maxie couldn't resist adding "Or are you just jealous that I got to him before you got a chance?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, we all know that you just drag Spinelli along in case you get bored with Logan or Johnny or one of the other guys you've got twisted around your little finger. You wouldn't ever, you know, date him or anything, but you're still curious, aren't you Lulu? _What's he like_?"

"Don't pretend to know anything about Spinelli and me," replied Lulu with a cold stare.

"Oh and might I add, just in case you were wondering, you are missing out." She tried, she really did, to keep the Bad Blonde One from speaking anymore, but Maxie just couldn't resist. Maxie had never been above kissing and telling, but she did feel a little guilty about talking about Spinelli so crudely. Oh well, it made Lulu squirm. It wasn't like she was insulting Spinelli, anyhow.

Lulu looked a little lost for words. "What's your angle, Maxie? Why are you doing this?"

"Bothers you a little, doesn't it? Me talking about him like that," Maxie asked, bouncing with joy from the look on Lulu's face. "Yeah, I can see it in your eyes."

"I knew it. This is all about getting at me."

"Well, yeah," Maxie admitted, shrugging. "All of this _conversation_ has been about getting under your skin. But my baby has nothing to do with you."

"Your baby isn't real," Lulu growled. Point for Maxie, this was almost too easy.

"Which is weird considering Dr. Lee just told me I was going to have a baby in 7 months."

"How'd you ever trick him into sleeping with you?"

"Why, want some pointers?" Maxie laughed.

"So, you admit you're tricking him?"

"No, Lulu," Maxie replied softly, the seriousness of their conversation returning to her mind. "Spinelli and I know exactly how we got here, and while I may say things in the hopes of irritating the hell out of you, it really isn't your business." The Bad Blonde One slipped back into hiding, feeling she'd done all that was necessary. It was time to stop playing games and just ignore Lulu's hate for her. There really was no need to constantly engage Lulu, especially if it wasn't going to change anything.

"You're sick, Maxie."

"No," Maxie smiled grimly. "Just a little pregnant."

Robin and Elizabeth Webber came around the corner, talking to each other. Maxie's heart sank. All she needed was for Robin to ask what she was doing at the hospital, obviously not volunteering. Epiphany and Patrick Drake were at the nurse's station now, and Maxie realized how crowded the room had become. Lulu followed where Maxie's eyes were focused. A huge smile formed on her face.

"Oh, look Maxie. Think it's time to tell the family?"

Maxie's stomach did flip-flops. _No, not here. Not now_. "Don't you say a word."

"Why?" Lulu asked with a fake sense of happiness. "This is exciting news right? A great big bundle of joy!"

Robin and Liz were within hearing range, and it was obvious that Robin had heard what Lulu said. Her face was confused, and even worse she came over looking ready to question the scene unfolding before her. Liz hung back a little, looking at Patrick as if wondering what he might have heard. Patrick shrugged. Maxie's heart jumped in her chest. She needed an escape. Where was Spinelli?

"Shut up, Lulu."

Too late. "What's she talking about, Maxie?" Robin asked. Spinelli rounded to corner and paused, watching confused. When Lulu came over to Maxie and put her arms around her shoulder, Spinelli's eyes bugged out of his head. He knew exactly what was going on. Maxie pleaded with him silently to save her from this humiliation. He never got the chance to intervene.

"Oh, She's just being shy. Maxie's going to have baby, aren't you Max?"

Maxie shoved Lulu off of her, staring into Robin's shocked face. Spinelli charged over to them, putting himself between Lulu and the rest of the crowd.

"Lulu, back off."

"Spinelli," Lulu spoke with her hands. "Why would she keep this a secret from her family if she were telling the truth?"

Maxie couldn't stand all the eyes on her anymore. The audience was too big. Robin took a few steps towards her but Maxie held out her arms to stop her. She didn't want anyone near her.

"Do you not remember how terrified you were when you were pregnant, Lulu? Did you find it absolutely necessary to humiliate me in front of everyone?"

Her feet carried her away, away from all the eyes. .

Once Maxie had left, there was only an awkward silence left. No one knew exactly what to do. Spinelli turned back to Lulu, furious. He and Maxie had enough stress on them without his _best friend_ getting involved.

"Why did you do that?"

Lulu just looked uncomfortable. She didn't answer. Instead, Robin Spoke up. "Spinelli, what do you have to do with this?"

Spinelli flung his arms out in frustration, bouncing awkwardly. They were all waiting, but this wasn't the place. "I'm the father."

Liz and Patrick both coughed. Robin stood frozen for a moment, then without a word followed down the hallway that Maxie had retreated to. There, they had their explanation. He spun back on Lulu. She took a few steps backward, taken aback by his open hostility.

"This stops now," he told her, pointing a finger in her face.

"Spinelli, I'm just trying to help you—"

"Help me?" Spinelli wanted to pull his hair out. "Help me how? By humiliating the mother of my child? By stressing her out when we just found out that her heart can't handle that? By not being here to really support me at the most terrifying time of my life?"

Lulu grabbed his hands, shaking him a little. "Spinelli, She's done this before, she's lying to you!"

Spinelli shook his head violently and flung her hands off of him. "Why don't you go ask Fair Elizabeth here to steal you a copy of her medical records? Enlighten yourself a little bit. Mid-September I'm going be pushing my own innocent one in a stroller through the park, assuming Maxie can even carry him to term." His voice was pleading, desperate for her to understand the complex situation that was drowning him at the moment. "Do you get how stressful this is? I want to be excited but people keep giving me more and more reasons to dread _everything_."

Lulu blinked a few times. "Him?"

_Please let her understand. _Spinelli spoke softer this time, speaking only to Lulu."You're supposed to be my friend, Lulu, my Blonde One. I hope that you can be happy for me eventually. I really need you right now."

Her eyes were welling up with tears, and he couldn't look at her anymore. He had to find Maxie, make sure she was all right. Turning his back on her, Spinelli began to march away, past the bewildered stares of Patrick and Liz and the unamused glare of Epiphany. Let them think what the wanted.

"I'm trying to be there for you." Lulu called out, her voice raspy from sadness. He halted, almost as if shot in the chest.

"I know you are," Spinelli called over his shoulder, refusing to turn back around. "I just wish you could find a better way to do it."

----

Maxie stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her make-up was running almost as fast as she had darted from the scene of her humiliation. If Lulu caught her crying Maxie would never forgive herself. Wiping the mascara tears from her eyes, Maxie contemplated what to do next. The door of the bathroom squeaked open.

"Maxie?" It was Robin. Maxie sighed.

"I'm in here, Robin."

Robin entered the room slowly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Maxie…why didn't you tell me?"

Maxie pushed herself onto the counter where the sinks were. "You believe me?"

"I think it's a little too weird for me not to believe you."

"Spinelli?" Maxie asked, grabbing a paper towel to blow her nose. Robin's brow furrowed and she pursed her lips together.

"Yeah…I'm trying to understand out how that happened."

Maxie laughed. "Tell me when you've figure it out."

"Are you dating him or something?" asked Robin awkwardly.

"No…we're friends," Maxie couldn't think of a proper way to explain. She couldn't exactly say that she felt depressed about her dead sister and needed something to make her feel better. "We…just…got carried away one night." Maxie buried her face in her hands, hating how stupid she sounded. It was more than that and she knew it, but how could she explain that to anyone?

"Maxie, it's okay." Robin rubbed her back supportively.

"That stupid bitch didn't have any right to tell everyone," Maxie muttered through her fingers. Lulu had to stop this. What would she do next? Push her down a flight of stairs to prove her point? No, that wasn't fair. Lulu wasn't that evil. In fact, now that Maxie had gotten to know Spinelli better, she could almost see herself doing the same thing to protect him.

"No, she didn't…"

A new thought popped into her mind. Gossip had a way of flying in this town, and suddenly Maxie felt strapped to a ticking time bomb. There were more people that still didn't know of her delicate condition.

"Now I have to figure out how to tell Mac before the gossip train gets to him first."

Robin beamed. "I think I can help you there."

"What?"

She shrugged mysteriously. "I need to tell him something too."

"I don't understand."

"You know I've been trying to get pregnant, right?"

"Robin…" No way. Robin was pregnant too? The glow on her face said everything.

"Yep. I'm due in August."

"Robin I'm so happy for you. I know you've been wanting that for a long time now…Who's the father?"

"Um…Sperm bank," Robin answered awkwardly.

"Oh." Maxie couldn't judge that decision, her baby was the product of a one night stand. "Well, I just thought it was maybe someone here…you were asking people you knew, right?"

Robin flushed. "And it's a good thing one of them failed to take me up on the offer…"

"Who?"

"Spinelli almost went through with it," Robin answered, laughing. Maxie was horrified. How awful would that have been?

"Oh my god, this conversation would be so much more awkward if that had happened."

Robin couldn't hold back here hysterical laughter any more. "We would have the same 'baby daddy'…A talk show in the making."

"How horrible."

Robin hugged Maxie tightly. Finally, someone was happy for her. Maybe this would be the first of many congratulations and the end of so much judgment.

"We're going to be moms together," Robin whispered in her ear. Maxie felt herself glowing now at the thought of being able to share something like this with her family. She would have one of the strongest women she'd ever known supporting her, the father of her baby involved, and once Mac knew the truth (after he through a fit) he would be helpful to her too. It didn't matter about the rest.

"Sweet Maxie?" a voice called from the door. Maxie and Robin broke apart, both smiling at his name for her.

"I wish someone called me sweet every now and then." Robin whispered.

"Yes, Spinelli?"

He was still talking through a small crack in the doorway. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Maxie replied, quickly looking at herself in the mirror. "You can come in…no one else is in here except Robin."

Robin opened the door for Spinelli and he tiptoed in, pulling the beanie off of his head. The looked at each other quietly for a moment, each smiling a little at the other. Robin cleared her throat and started heading out the door.

"Hey kid, if you want some help with Uncle Mac, call me, okay?"

"Okay," Maxie promised. Robin gave a small wave and left the two of them alone. Spinelli crawled up onto the counter next to Maxie. She leaned her head on his shoulder, taking his hand. He always hesitated about squeezing her hand back. Spinelli probably felt as though he were invading her space or something by simply holding her hand.

"The Jackal begs to know if his Sassy Maxie is really going to be okay."

"Sassy Maxie? I like that." The sat like that for a few moments, Maxie taking in some of Spinelli's quiet spirit. Sometimes he reminded her of Georgie, they both had the same comforting aura about them. _I wonder if they could have made it._

Spinelli looked around the room a little bit. "So this is a female bathroom. It's a lot better smelling than the men's room equivalent."

"Men don't know how to keep things nice."

"The Jackal resembles that comment."

Maxie hopped down from the counter. "The Jackal is an exception. But you do need to clean up your room."

Spinelli followed suit, stepping down a little awkwardly, probably do to the fact that his heavy messenger bag was weighing him down. He took a few steps in front of her.

"It's going to be okay, Maxie."

Maxie stared into his eyes and knew that he was telling her the absolute truth. Throwing her arms around his neck, Maxie pulled him to her once again. He pat her back slowly, never taking advantage of their closeness, always the gentleman.

"I know. I know."

---

**A/N: Thanks to tiffturn and D-Tepes for helping me with this chapter. Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I loved reading your ideas about the importance of the dream. Keep them coming. :) If you figure it out you get a cookie. **

**IMPORTANT: A lot of people who review often ask for spoilers, and I have no problem doing this. However, when I reply their reviews asking what they want to know I rarely get a reply. Please leave a good email for me to reply to any questions you might have. I REPLY ALL MY REVIEWS IF YOU ARE SIGNED IN OR LEAVE AN EMAIL. Please check your emails for responses!! I'd love to discuss any spoilers you'd want to know but whenever I reply people fail to respond. **

**My email is linzclndstn aim. com if you can't seem to send me a private message! The best part of fan fiction is the interaction between fans. Please drop me a line anytime.**

**Next Chapter: Morning sickness, Mac, and the Mall.**


	9. Juno & Bleeker

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 9: Juno & Bleeker**

Knocking on the door of the Jones' family residence, Spinelli shuffled in the cold. He didn't have anything to do that day and wanted to surprise Maxie with some lunch. She had been working all week so he hadn't been able to see her. Spinelli missed seeing her everyday like he had gotten used to at the beginning of all the craziness and he spent the time away from Maxie worrying about her.

No one answered the door. Spinelli knocked again. A few moments later, still no answer. Maxie's car was in the driveway and there were lights on in the house, so why wouldn't she answer the door? His heart skipped a few beats. _Calm down, maybe she's asleep_. Spinelli tried to doorknob and was shocked to find it unlocked. After all that she'd been through how could she just not lock her door?

Inching into the entryway, Spinelli looked around for any sign of her. The television was on and a glass of water was sitting on the coffee table, the ice melting inside of it, condensation trailing down the edge of the glass.

"Maxie…" Spinelli called her out, hoping for a reply, getting none. "I can't believe you didn't lock the door. Maxie? Where are you? The Jackal brought you some lunch."

He wandered around the house, searching for her. Maxie's purse and keys were sitting on the counter of the kitchen, sending a shiver down his spine. She was in the house. She had to be. But where was she and why couldn't she answer him?

Racing up the stairs to Maxie's bedroom, he tried to keep his mind blank. He didn't want to imagine what could be behind her door. She wasn't in there though. Spinelli stood in her doorway trying to figure out where to look next.

There was a rhythmic sound coming from the end of the hallway. Spinelli tried to register what it was and was shocked when he realized it was someone sobbing. Within moments he had crossed to the door from which the crying was sounding.

Spinelli swung the door open. Maxie was sitting on the ground of the bathroom, leaning against a tub, her face buried in her hands. She jolted as soon as she realized she was no longer alone, wiping her bloodshot eyes quickly on the sleeves of her pink bathrobe. At first she was confused, but then her mouth quivered and she reached a hand out to him pathetically.

"Max…" Spinelli took her hand and sat down next to her, his eyes darting all over her for some reason as to why she would be this upset. She buried herself into his chest, clinging to the front of his shirt, shaking with sobs.

"I've been throwing up for an hour now…" Maxie spoke into his chest. "I thought I was going to be one of those women who didn't get morning sickness…Nope…nope nope nope…"

Spinelli wrapped his arms around her, feeling terrible. This wasn't fair at all. He had no idea of a way to make her feel better.

"I'm guessing you don't want the sandwich I brought you," he joked, hoping to cheer her up a little. Maxie pushed herself off of him and dry heaved a little, making his stomach turn. If she kept this up the two of them would be fighting over the toilet bowl. She paused for a moment, looking as though she couldn't decide if she were going to throw up or not, and Spinelli scooted away a little bit.

A moment passed and Maxie took a deep breath, looking extremely on edge. She sunk into the floor, lying down fully this time, using her right arm as a pillow. Sniffling a little, Maxie picked at a piece of lint firmly attached to the zipper of his jacket. Spinelli looked down at her, trying to think of something to say.

His eyes traveled down her tiny frame. Maxie's shirt had lifted up a little bit and Spinelli was shocked to see a very small but still there bump forming just below her belly button. Goosebumps rand down his arms at the sight of the evidence the baby that was causing such a stir in his little world. Spinelli was tempted to wave hello.

"Ive got to tell Mac today," Maxie said, pulling him out of his trance.

"Oh…" Spinelli squeaked. "Do you want me to be here?"

"I want you to leave the state."

"Sassy Maxie thinks that the Police Commissioner will be that infuriated?" That was a dumb, stupid, idiotic question and his voice broke like he was going through puberty again just as he asked.

Maxie laughed darkly. Maybe he should leave the state.

"Did you hear about the Goddess Mother?"

"Who?" Maxie looked up at him, confused. Maybe this wasn't the time to tell her about the latest attack, but it was too late to back out now.

"Sorry…Alexis Davis. The Text Message Killer attacked her yesterday...She survived…"

Maxie close her eyes and she sniffled again. Spinelli wished he hadn't said anything. He pet her blonde hair gently, trying to push the thoughts out of her mind.

"That bastard is still out there Spinelli. How many families is he going to tear apart before someone stops him?"

Maxie went completely quite and Spinelli wished he could give her a proper answer. She deserved an answer. She deserved everything.

"What is going on?"

Spinelli and Maxie both jumped at the sound of the man who was now staring at them incredulously in the bathroom doorway. The police commissioner's face was unreadable. Maxie pushed herself off the ground, trying to cover herself up with the bathrobe. Maybe she was aware of the growing bump in her stomach too and wasn't ready for anyone to see it. Spinelli tried to figure out where his place was in the scenario.

"Uncle Mac…I guess you're home for lunch?" Maxie tried to dodge the situation as always.

"Why is he here?"

Maxie tried to stand on her own but was shaking a little. She must have been drained. Spinelli stood and helped her up, the Mac watching the two of them looking furious. Spinelli prepared to get a fist in his face at any second.

Maxie stepped in front of Spinelli as if she were shielding him. "Mac I need to talk to you."

"Well," Mac replied, throwing his arms up. "I'm all ears."

"You can't get angry," Maxie explained, pointing at him accusingly. "I don't think I can take another person being angry at me."

"Maxie just tell me what's wrong."

Taking a deep breath, Maxie's voice cracked a little when she spoke. "I'm pregnant."

"Maxie…" The police commissioner's eyes popped. He grabbed a hold of the doorframe, steadying himself a little bit.

"I'm keeping it and I'm going to raise it with its father." Maxie sputtered quickly, trying to spit the words out as fast as she could.

"Wait, _who is the father_?" Mac demanded, taking a step into the bathroom.

"Um…" Maxie instinctively backed away from him, blocking Spinelli some more.

Spinelli felt it was his turn to speak. "That would be me…Police Commissioner….Sir."

Mac didn't move. "Is this a joke?"

"No Mac," Maxie cried, finally breaking. "It's not a joke, it's not a lie, it's not a scam. _It's__ just a baby_."

Spinelli spoke up, trying to take a bit of the edge off of Maxie and direct it onto himself. "Look…I know that you think I'm a criminal and you hate who I work with, but---"

Maxie put out a hand to stop him from continuing. "Spinelli you don't have to explain yourself. Mac, Spinelli is a great person. We're going to raise our baby together and you have to accept that. It might be unconventional, but it's going to work. Please, please don't hassle him."

A moment passed in silence, Mac and Maxie simply looking at each other. If would have been only too easy to hear a pin drop.

Finally, Mac spoke. "Can I have a minute alone with my daughter?" He asked, looking directly at Spinelli. Maxie moved out of the way so that he could leave the room, and Spinelli did as he was told, awkwardly squeezing by Mac at the doorway. Mac closed the door.

Spinelli could hear them speaking very quickly to each other in low voices. He didn't want to stick around to have to hear Maxie defend the pot-smoking computer hacking criminal that lived with and worked for organized crime, her baby's father, a baby that was the product of a miscalculated and confusing one night stand.

Instead, he went downstairs and sat down heavily on the couch, waiting to be beaten to death.

Any minute now…

The stairs creaked as Mac made his way down them. Spinelli stood and tried to face him like a man, most likely looking like a terrified little kid. Mac paused, gathering his thoughts.

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all," Mac spoke in a low and dangerous tone, "But I love my daughter. If you leave her with to raise that baby on her own I will drag you into court so fast you won't know what hit you. That's all I'm going to say."

Spinelli gulped. "I understand."

Mac nodded, grabbed his jacket off the couch, and stormed out the front door. _That wasn't as bad as it could have been. I could be dead. _Mac would need time, just like everyone else did, to take in the strange situation.

A few minutes passed and Maxie came down the stairs, fully dressed now, looking fresh faced and a lot happier than she had back in the bathroom. Before he could say anything to her, she darted past him and into the kitchen. She came bustling back into the living room with her purse and keys and yanked Spinelli towards the front door by his hand.

"Come on, let's go do something."

----

Jason was taking advantage of the quiet penthouse to get some work done. He'd seen Spinelli bustle out the door earlier, probably to go see Maxie. Jason chuckled a little at the thought of his young friend who had become so enthused over his impending fatherhood.

A knock at the door drew him out of his thoughts, and Jason stood to answer it. Carly darted into the room as if she thought Jason would shut her out. Jason sighed. She was up to something.

"Carly, if this is about Jake I need you to turn around and walk right back out the door."

Carly looked offended. "Jason, can't you just be happy to see me?"

"I would if you didn't have that look on your face."

"What _look_?"

Jason raised his eyebrows. "The look that says _I'm__ about to interfere with something that isn't my business_."Carly sighed, obviously caught. Jason could always tell when she was scheming.

"Okay, well, that's probably true, but I made a promise to someone to talk to you."

Jason shut the door and waved Carly over to the couch to sit and speak.

"Make it quick. I have to go meet Sonny."

Carly took her coat off and sat down, taking a deep breath. Jason prepared himself of any number of insane things that Carly could be about to ask him.

"Alright, Lulu came over to my house yesterday afternoon a wreck."

"If this is about Johnny Zacchara," Jason interrupted. "I'm not going to talk about it."

"No, its not."

"Then what?"

"It's about Spinelli." Carly looked at him, assuming he knew exactly what she was talking about. Jason hadn't expected this. Did Lulu really expect him to interfere with Spinelli's life like this?

"Carly that is really not your business. The best thing you can tell Lulu is to stay out of this entire situation and let Spinelli figure out what's what."

Carly rolled her eyes. "That girl is more like me than you know. Do you think it's going to be possible for her to just back out something this important?"

Jason shrugged. "Lulu doesn't have any say in what Spinelli does with his kid."

"Jason, she cares about him. She might not be _in love_ with him but she does love him. You should have seen her today…" Jason was silent. If Lulu was anything like Carly maybe he should warn Spinelli. Those Spencer women played dirty. Carly started laughing a little.

"This is all kinds of funny. I mean…Maxie Jones and Spinelli?"

Jason couldn't help but crack a smile too.

"More like all kinds of horrifying. Spinelli is a great person but he has a lot of growing up to do."

"Well he tries to be just like you so I think he'll be just fine," Carly added, playfully punching him in the arm.

"He was watching Spongebob the other day. I pretended I didn't see it, but still…"

Carly laughed even harder at that image. "You know what? I think I can help him grow up a little bit."

Jason looked at her skeptically. "Like how?"

"Mercedes deserves a few nights off during the week, don't you think?" Carly replied with a shrug. Jason realized what she was saying.

"You want Spinelli to babysit?"

"Well, Michael is old enough so that he really wouldn't be a hassle at all but Morgan is still little…Maybe it would give him a little confidence. Just a little responsibility you know?"

"Carly…"

"What? I think it's a great idea."

Jason sighed. She didn't get it. "You ask him all you want. Don't get angry though if Morgan starts calling you the Valkylrie." Carly chuckled. Jason could picture it now, his godson speaking to him in a completely different language, everyone looking to Spinelli for a translation.

"Now, back to Lulu. I'm supposed to tell you to convince Spinelli that Maxie Jones is lying to him."

"Okay. Well, you have done what you came here to do."

Carly smirked, standing to leave.

"Bye Jason."

"Bye Carly."

Spinelli, professional hacker and babysitter? How had things come to this?

----

"Where exactly are we going?"

"We are strolling."

"Through the mall? Do people stroll through the mall?" Spinelli asked confused. "I understand strolling through a park on a beautiful storybook day, but to willingly mingle along the concrete jungle of the corporate entity that is a shopping mall…well….it just seems odd."

"You're odd. This is what people do. They go to the mall. They window shop. They buy fancy cinnamon rolls." Maxie laughed at her strange friend. Didn't he ever just hang out? Did they not have malls in Tennessee? He was looking around the store fronts and food court as if it were a foreign land. She loved the mall, the bustling people, all the weird types of fashion, the cinnamon mingling in the air as they passed a sweet shop.

"Would Sassy Maxie like a fancy cinnamon roll?"

"Why yes, Sassy Maxie would love one." He smiled at her, bouncing up to the counter to buy her one, eager as always. She loved that about him, that even with the dark sadness that she knew existed within him, he could still function and be happy, enjoying small things.

Maxie took the cinnamon roll from him, splitting it in half, giving him the other piece. They continued their stroll down the long row of stores.

"So what are we really doing here?" Spinelli asked quietly, munching on the sweet. Maxie finished her cinnamon roll and looked around. Finally spotting their intended destination, Maxie pulled Spinelli by the elbow into the nearest designer men's store.

"Glad you asked. "We're going to buy you some clothes that fit."

Spinelli looked all types of confused.

"But I like my clothes."

Maxie laughed. "I'm sure you do. But it's time to upgrade."

"But...I like my clothes."

"Humor the pregnant lady, okay?" Maxie sighed, yanking him in the direction of some extremely high quality collared shirts.

"Not fair," Spinelli muttered.

Maxie filled his arms with shirts and expensive designer jeans, the pile growing so large that he was peaking over it to see where he was going. When she didn't think he could carry any more, Maxie guided him to the fitting room. He looked like a lost puppy when she closed the door on him.

"You try those on and I'll wait out here. "

"Okay…" Spinelli grumbled from inside. A few moments passed and Maxie grew a little concerned. He needed to get a little better at that whole undressing thing.

"Maxie…are these pants supposed to fit like a girl?"

"Yes Spinelli. They're called skinny jeans."

The door swung open and Spinelli stepped out sheepishly. Maxie was a little taken aback. It was strange how different he looked when he wasn't wearing a graphic t-shirt and grungy jeans. He stood before her in a black button up shirt and dark jeans that fit him perfectly.

"So…what do you think?"

"I really like that. You look very put together. Go try the rest on."

Spinelli came out in the second outfit, a white shirt and even nicer jeans with a sports coat over the whole thing. He still wore that silly beanie of his on his head. She stood up and ripped it off his head, trying to fix his hair, pushing it out of his eye. He looked at her oddly, uncomfortable about being a test subject in her fashion experiment. Maxie stopped what she was doing and really looked at him.

"You know what. Never mind," she muttered, pulling the beanie back on over his head. This wasn't right.

"What?" Spinelli asked, confused. He looked down at the clothes, looking for some explanation as to why she was suddenly changing her mind. "I thought you said the Jackal looked very put together."

"The Jackal does look very put together," Maxie tried to explain. "But he doesn't look like the Jackal."

"Why Maxie," Spinelli shuffled a little. "That's quite kind of you. I didn't want to say anything but these shirts are itchy."

Maxie shut the door on him, laughing. "Change back into Spinelli or I'll never forgive you!"

----

Spinelli and Maxie continued to wander around the mall. He was glad she didn't want him to buy any of those fancy shirts. He thought they made him look like a sellout.

"Well, I can't come to the mall without buying something. Girl rule," Maxie said to him. She steered herself into store that was full of trendy women's clothing, techno music pulsing through the speakers. He felt very out of place.

"This would be a very girly store," Spinelli said, eyeing a terribly unattractive dress that was so short it probably should have been considered a shirt. Why did women want parade around like that?

"Don't look into the sequined dresses; they'll burn your retinas."

Maxie was absentmindedly picking through a row of shirts, not seeing anything that really interested her. Spinelli looked around for another guy in the room. No luck, he was the only person with a Y chromosome in the entire place.

"The Jackal feels weird being in here."

Maxie was now looking at a table of necklaces and rings. "Just be glad I didn't take you into Victoria's secret."

Spinelli grinned. "Actually…."

"We're not going to Victoria's secret," Maxie barked.

"Woe is me." He sighed, suddenly very depressed. Maxie picked up a necklace off the table. It was a pendant of an old fashioned key covered in little clear crystals.

"This is pretty," she said, trying to put it around her neck, but it got caught in her hair. Spinelli stepped up to her.

"Here, let me help you." He delicately maneuvered the clasp out of the tangle in Maxie's hair. Maxie walked up to a mirror and examined how it looked on her.

"I like it," Maxie eyed the price tag. "Damn…its fifty dollars…That's highway robbery. It's not like those stones are precious diamonds or anything."

Maxie agitatedly pulled the necklace back over her head, putting it back with the rest. She sighed and wandered off to another rack of clothes. An idea ran through Spinelli's mind. He picked up the necklace and gripped it tightly in his fist, hoping she wouldn't see him with it. Maxie was looking at a very nice red dress.

"Hey, this will be good when I start turning all round shaped." She pulled at the loose material and decided it was worthy. Giving him a little wave, Maxie headed to the back of the store where he assumed the fitting rooms were.

Spinelli hurried for the register, hoping to buy the necklace before she returned. Thankfully there wasn't anyone in line and he bought it quickly. He wandered to the back of the store, squeezing between rows of dresses and tables of shoes. There were a few dressing rooms, if you could call them that. A curtain for a door didn't really make him think of them as a proper place to change clothes.

The middle curtain swung back to reveal Maxie in the red dress. Spinelli stumbled a little bit. She looked incredible. He felt his face flush and hoped that she didn't notice. Spinelli had once had all of her, but somehow he'd managed to ignore how truly beautiful she was. Maxie didn't seem to realize that she had effectively rendered him speechless.

"This would be so much better if you were a girl. Now, I'm going to ask you if this dress makes my butt look big and you are going to say 'No, Maxie, you look amazing'. Okay?"

"No, Maxie, you look amazing," he said dumbly.

"Hah. Puppet on a string," she laughed, delighted, smoothing out the dress and looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"No, Maxie, you do look amazing."

Maxie turned to him and flashed a smile. "Suck up."

She pulled the curtain closed and Spinelli felt her spell break. Where had that come from? His hands were clammy as they gripped the key necklace. He needed to get some air.

----

They strolled some more, eventually passing the movie theater. Maxie gasped when she saw the movies under the "Now Playing" sign.

"Juno. That's that comedy about the pregnant teenager!" She rushed up to get in line at the box office. They only had fifteen minutes to get in and see it. She'd heard the movie was hilarious. In her condition a little pregnancy humor sounded like the perfect remedy for all the chaos that had transpired so far.

"Maxie, what are you doing?"

"We are SO seeing this movie."

"Maxie…"

Maxie turned back to Spinelli, who was looking at the movie poster wearily.

"Spinelli," she pulled him into the line with her. "I need to laugh. I need my heart warmed a little bit. We're going to see this movie."

"This is weird," he grumbled.

"You're weird."

Spinelli pouted. "That hurts."

"Don't care, we're seeing the movie." Maxie purchased the tickets and pulled him into the theatre. She'd been dragging him to a lot of place today. He probably had grip marks on his arm.

They settled into their seats, Spinelli not looking very pleased at all. Maxie poked him in the arm.

"Come on, Spin. This is an education film. You're one of those smart people. Study up."

The theater darkened, allowing Maxie to sink into the movie screen. This Juno girl was quickly becoming her hero, handling the pressure of being pregnant with much more ease than Maxie had. Spinelli was even laughing. Sometimes Maxie stopped paying attention to the movie just to watch him. He looked a lot more relaxed.

"I knew you'd like this," she whispered in his ear.

Near the end of the movie, Spinelli grabbed her hand. She was very taken aback. He had never initiated any contact with her. That wasn't just it though, because in his grip she could feel cold metal. He transferred whatever it was into her hand.

Maxie held the thing up to the screen to get some light. An old fashioned key on a chain. _The necklace_. He'd bought it for her. Maxie looked at him, and he was smirking at her.

"Why you sneaky sneak," she said to him. He shrugged, turning back to the movie. She leaned over to him, cupping a hand around his ear.

"You are so not the Mac to my Cheese."

He laughed, "Maybe not, 'Fertile Myrtle'."

Maxie punched him in the arm. "You are so not allowed to call me that."

----

**A/N: So who loved Tuesday's episode? I mean, people were calling it Super Tuesday but seriously, who cares about the elections when there is a ****Spinmax**** hug going on?**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews! You guys keep me going. As a bored college kid I have very few things to look forward to. Your reviews always brighten my day. ****Send any questions or comments my way, I've been have great discussions with a lot of you.**

**Anyone curious about the random Carly scene? You should be. Go re-read chapter 7 and begin your speculations.**

**Next Chapter: Eh, no plans yet. I think I'm going to wing it. **


	10. Such a Tease

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 10: Such a Tease**

_"Spinelli…"_

_"Maxie?"_

_He wandered down the park sidewalk, searching for her. She kept calling out to him but he couldn't see her anywhere. Why was she hiding? That wasn't fair. He didn't want to play games. _

_There was something on the ground in front of him. He bent down to pick it up. It was the end of a phone cord, one that stretched all the way down the pathway in front of him. He snatched it up and began following where it __led,__ a sinking feeling in his stomach. _

_The concrete lane and the phone cord was leading him to the entrance of the __park ,__ a place he'd known all too well with less than fond memories. The stairs were coming into view. He couldn't look. The phone cord tugged him forward, forcing him to get closer to the scene of Georgie's murder. _

_He fought against the cord but it pulled him with even stronger force, bringing him into full view of the terrible scene, a figure lying lifeless on the ground. It wasn't Georgie though. _

_Flinging the cable onto the sidewalk, Spinelli ran to the form. She lay there, tossed like a ragdoll, the white phone cord crawling over her body like ivy, tangling around her wrists, wrapping around her legs, choking her neck. The roundness to her stomach made him cry out at the realization of a second victim._

_"No…no, Maxie, wake up!" Clawing at the cord around her neck, trying to free her, he begged her to breathe again. It was no use. Spinelli cradled the broken frame in the pretty red dress, sobbing into her hair, pleading, begging__, aching__ for her to just open her eyes._

Spinelli's hands shook as he tried to stir some sugar into his coffee. He was never a big coffee drinker but it was the only thing that was giving him any sort of life these days. For almost a week he'd been suffering through the same dream each night, always waking completely unnerved, having to convince himself that Maxie and his baby were okay.

Jason walked into the penthouse kitchen unexpectedly, startling Spinelli enough to knock over the coffee he'd been working so hard on to make taste somewhat good.

"Damn it!" He flung the spoon onto the counter, pulling at his hair.

Jason was very taken aback. "You okay, Spinelli?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," he lied, looking for something to wipe up the mess. He started flinging open drawers like mad, forgetting where they kept the hand towels. Jason found one and made a move to wipe off the counter, but Spinelli grabbed the towel from him.

"No, its okay, I'll clean up my own mess," he muttered bitterly. Jason was watching him, he could feel his stare. Spinelli watched the mocha color soak through the cloth, wishing other things in his life could be so easily fixed.

"Something going on, Spinelli?"

The Text Message Killer was still out there, Lulu was interfering with his life, his sleep was being interrupted, the baby was "normal" but in "danger", and Maxie was beautiful. Yes, things were going on.

"No Stone Cold, the Jackal is just a super klutz and cannot manage to properly stir a cup of coffee," Spinelli explained, finding a fake chipper attitude to throw over his shoulders for the moment. What did Maxie call it? Caving into himself?

Jason didn't reply. Spinelli decided to skip the coffee for today and bolted out of the kitchen without any further explanation, knowing Jason wouldn't pry, it wasn't his nature.

Spinelli was sick and tired of the seesaw that was his life. He'd had spent a great day with Maxie just getting to know each other better. While that was marvelous, he was then jolted to the other extreme, stuck in these nightmares that he couldn't shake. He thought that maybe if he could see Maxie more often that would calm his nerves, but Maxie worked full time at the boutique and he always had something to do for Jason.

Stranger though was the fact that he not only thought that seeing Maxie would help him, but he really, really _wanted_ to see her. That was something unexpected. He didn't know what to do with that information, but that feeling was growing stronger, and it confused him.

He decided to return to the sanctity of his regrettably pink room. Grabbing his IPod, Spinelli sunk back into his bed, scanning for something to listen to, stopping on that song that Maxie had shown him. The tinkling piano swallowed him whole, putting him in a peaceful place for the first time all day.

Spinelli must have fallen asleep, because when he opened his eyes again he realized an entire hour had flown by. His bedroom door clicked open and Spinelli saw a pair of blue eyes peaking in on him. Sitting up, Spinelli gave a little wave to his intruder, feeling his day getting better at the sight of her.

Maxie pranced in cheerily. "Hey Spin. Jason said you were probably sleeping but said I could check on you if I wanted to."

"What are you doing here?"

Maxie laughed, removing her jacket. "This little baby has come in quite handy today," she explained, rubbing her stomach. Spinelli couldn't believe how much bigger the bump had gotten in a week. It wasn't a huge difference, but enough of one. She wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer, that was a fact. People would probably give her a second glance, unsure.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Maxie pulled her heels off and sighed. "Turns out that when you start throwing up, people don't want you to be around. My boss thinks I have the flu."

Spinelli watched her, unblinking. Maxie either carried her worries with ease or he had absorbed all of hers and suffered for the both of them. She turned to him and gave him a Hollywood smile, making his stomach flutter.

"So Spin, why are you up here moping?"

"Why does Sassy Maxie thing that the Jackal is moping?" Spinelli shrugged nonchalantly, scooting over to sit closer to her.

"Well you're up here all alone in your pink fortress…" Maxie scanned his room a little. "I see that you've cleaned up a bit in here. That's a plus." Maxie turned back to him. He must have had bad expression on his face or something because she looked concerned.

"Is this a bad time? Do you want me to leave or something?"

No, he didn't want that at all. In fact, he wanted her closer. She was pursing her lips, distracting him a little. This was ridiculous. Why was he feeling like this all of a sudden? Didn't they have enough on their plate without him getting goose bumps every time she smiled?

"Okay," she muttered, standing up. "One of those stay out of my business things. I get it." She headed for the door, but he snatched her hand in his.

"No, Maxie. You don't have to leave." He hoped his voice didn't sound as pleading as he thought it did. For a moment they just looked at each other. He let go of her hand, feeling stupid. Spinelli's cell phone went off, startling the both of them. He jumped to answer it, grateful for the interruption.

"Hello?"

"Spinelli?"

"Yes…" Spinelli couldn't place the voice.

"Hello, it's Carly." That was most unexpected.

"Greetings Valkylrie," he replied. Maxie sat back down on his bed, looking at him with raised eyebrows. He shrugged at her so that she knew he was just as confused as she was. How did Carly even get his phone number?

"So," she began gaily. "I've heard you're going to be dad!"

"Uhm…" He blushed, feeling weird about discussing this with someone he barely knew. "Well, that indeed seems to be the case..."

"Do you have any experience with kids?"

"Actually, no…" He hadn't thought of that. Sure, he'd held babies before, but he hadn't actually been alone with one for an extended period of time.

Carly laughed a little on the other side of the phone. "You know what, I think we can fix that."

"The Jackal is confused…Do you have a baby I can borrow or something?" He scratched his head, trying to figure out where Carly was going with this conversation. Maxie burst out laughing, stifling her laughter in his pillows. He smiled a little at her.

Maxie got control of herself, still looking quite tickled. "What is going on?"

Spinelli put a finger up to his mouth, grinning.

"Would you ever consider babysitting for me?"

"Are you aware of whom you are speaking to?"

Maxie held out her hands to him, ushering him to sit next to her. Spinelli crawled over to her. She pressed her ear against the back of his phone, trying to listen in on his conversation. She was so close he could feel her breath grazing his cheek. If he turned his face they would be touching noses. He considered putting the phone on speaker so that she could hear properly, but decided he liked how things were just fine.

"Spinelli," Carly continued. "I just want to help build your confidence a little bit! Get you ready for parenthood and all."

"Well..." Spinelli began, trying to concentrate as Maxie gave up on listening in, resting her chin on his shoulder. He could smell the scent of whatever shampoo she used. Was she aware of the fact that she was driving him crazy? "The Jackal supposes he may be of some help…"

"Great! I'll call you when I think I'll need you, okay?"

"All right…" Spinelli wondered exactly what he was agreeing to. Taking care of Sonny Corinthos' kids? He hung up the phone, tossing it across the bed. Maxie was still resting her head on his shoulder. He hoped she didn't move.

"What was that all about?" Muttering, Maxie's breath tickled his cheek.

"Carly Corinthos wants The Jackal to babysit."

"Aww…I like Carly now." Maxie sat up properly. He missed the warmth she brought with her touch. This was getting bad.

Spinelli tried to pretend everything was fine. "Why?"

"That is her way of congratulating you on our awesome little bundle of joy," Maxie explained, pushing some hair of his face. Her teasing made his heart race a little. Spinelli watched her lips, tempted to lean in and kiss her. _Don't do it, don't you do it._

"You think?"

"She wants you to get some experience with kids and she's letting you practice with hers!"

"The Jackal just realized the level of stress he has just agreed to."

His panic must have been evident on his face because Maxie smiled reassuringly at him. She crawled on her knees to a sitting position behind him and began rubbing his shoulders. Spinelli thought he would lose it. Shuddering a little at her touch, his breath escaped him in a great rush.

"You really need to relax," Maxie muttered, completely unaware of what she was doing to him. He closed his eyes, lost in her. Standing at the edge of a cliff, he felt the ground crackling beneath him, ready to toss him over. Spinelli couldn't decide if she should take a step back or just enjoy the fall.

She stopped massaging his shoulders, wrapping her arms around his waist, leaning her head onto his back. He hoped she couldn't hear his heart racing through his shirt.

"You've let me lean on you a lot…I hope you know that when you're ready you can talk to me," Maxie muttered, a sadness in her voice that he wasn't used to. Spinelli pressed the hands that had snaked around him into his chest, lacing his fingers in between hers.

In the silence he made a promise to himself that she would be the first person he would tell all of his secrets to, one day. Others might have noticed a shadow on his face, an edge to his laugh, but no one had ever called him out on it. If she was brave enough to acknowledge his darkness then she earned the right to know it all. One day, like she'd said, when he was ready.

"So in mid April I'm scheduled to have the first ultrasound," he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Really?" He chirped up, always interested in getting more news about the baby. Maxie sat up, pulling her arms out of his grasp, leaving him empty again. While he was a little glad for the distraction, he missed their closeness.

"Yeah. Exciting right?" She scrambled out from behind him, pressing a hand to the growing bump in her abdomen.

"Very," he agreed, nodding. Maxie snatched his hand and held it over the baby. He was very taken aback at the sudden introduction. It was a strange sensation.

She watched his face, almost laughing. "Small, but there, right?"

Spinelli nodded his head vigorously, taking in their memento of a time over two and half months ago. They hadn't been thinking about anything that night, except each other, and maybe not even that. Was there ever a moment when the other had stopped to consider where they would be the next morning?

Maxie laid back on the bed, snuggling into a pillow. She closed her eyes. Spinelli followed suit, sinking into the other side of the bed, grateful for the opportunity to look at her without her knowing he was doing so.

"I'm so tired. It's great to have a break from work."

"You're not feeling at all ill are you, Sassy Maxie?" He tried to keep the incessant nagging to a minimum, but his dreams and the words of Dr. Lee kept him from holding his tongue at all times. Maxie sighed, opening her eyes. Her blue gaze was different this time, like there was some sort of crack in her pretty and strong frame. He'd never noticed it before.

"Spinelli, don't worry about me," she grumbled. "Please. I worry enough on my own."

"You don't act like it," he responded skeptically. She'd never once seemed overly concerned about the danger she was in. He'd seen her embarrassed, frustrated, giddy, and playful, but never ever worried.

"I worry all the time," she scoffed, shocked that he doubted her. "I'm not invincible. Am I going to be a good mom? Is today the day that I miscarry? Is my heart going to fail on me? I think about that stuff all the time!"

Tears started welling up in her eyes, and Spinelli realized how wrong he'd been. She hid her anxiety while he let his show. There was never a moment where she wasn't thinking the same things as him.

"But it helps knowing I'm not alone. That I can come to you," she said, wiping a few tears from her eyes. "And everything's quiet and okay."

"Maxie, don't cry…I don't want you to cry…" Spinelli looked around for something to fix her.

"Ugh…"she laughed a little, pretending. "Hormones…"

It was his turn to stop her from caving into herself. He grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. She scooted closer to him, fitting into the curl of his body. How had they gotten this close in such a small amount of time? It didn't matter, he didn't care. Spinelli just didn't want her to go away.

Whatever it was that he was feeling for Maxie, he wouldn't act on it. There was enough stress going on between the two of them that he would be selfish to add more. After a few moments, Spinelli felt himself drifting to sleep, Maxie's rhythmic breathing his lullaby.

_"Spinelli…"_

_"Maxie?"_

_There was something on the ground in front of him. __The phone cord.__ Not again. Not another trip down this twisted lane. _

_"Spinelli!"_

_He spun around. She stood there in the pretty red dress, glowing with life, a smile on her face. _

_"Where are you going?" Maxie asked, laughing. "Did you get lost or something?"_

_Spinelli swiftly marched over to her and took her in his arms.__ Maxie looked confused as to why he was acting so strangely. How was she to know? __She had found him. She'd made the p__ast go away_

_----_

**A/N: Guys, let's powwow for a little bit and reflect. When I posted this story back in mid January this entire ****Spinmax**** idea was pure speculation and hearsay…Look how far we've come in less than a month. Did you see that preview for the kiss? Wow. I'm simply amazed and loving every minute of it. **

**Thanks to D-****tepes**** for as always helping me with this story.****Muchos**** gracias ****dude,**** and stop hacking into my computer. **

**Next Chapter: Maybe the ultrasound chapter…would you guys be too ****weirded**** out if I skipped three weeks in the future?**


	11. Maxie and Spinelli, INC

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 11:****Maxie and Spinelli, INC.**

"Stop tapping your foot, you're making me nervous!" Maxie pleaded, interlocking her arm with Spinelli's, leaning her head on his shoulder. He tilted his head on top of hers. She noticed that he seemed more comfortable around her than ever these days, something that made her extremely happy. They sat in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for Dr. Lee to show up for their appointment.

"I'm not nervous, Sassy Maxie, I'm excited. We're getting a window into the little world of Maxelli!"

Peaking up at him, Maxie laughed. "Maxelli?"

Spinelli nodded, grinning. "Or Spixie. Spixie if it's a girl."

She tugged his beanie over his forehead, blinding him. "You're so weird."

"Hey!" Spinelli cried out, straightening his beanie, looking playfully offended. "The Jackal worked tirelessly all morning attempting to get the perfect level of casual cool going on atop his head and now you've messed it all up."

Maxie leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh, fine. Fine. You worry about your level of cool and I'll just sit here and, you know, be the vessel of your first child."

"Bump-In-Maxie's-Stomach," Spinelli whispered, cupping a hand over his mouth, leaning over her. "I think your Mom is most upset with me." Maxie instinctively touched the now impossible to hide roundness protruding from underneath her blouse. Every day she was becoming more and more aware of a deep bond being built between her and the little life. Sometimes, Maxie even found herself talking to it, a thing she had seen other pregnant women do but never really understood. It always seemed a little strange to talk to someone who couldn't answer back. Now it seemed to make all the sense in the world.

Spinelli was watching her, looking mildly amused. Maxie reached out and straightened the collar of his shirt. He was in a better mood today than she'd seen him in weeks. Sometimes when they were together he would be fine, laughing and always quick to reply in their usual banter, using his typical turn of phrase that left her grappling for a dictionary.

Then there were the moments when she seemed to catch him in a strange melancholy that he would never explain to her. Maxie tried to interact with him, tease him, anything to bring him out of it, but nothing worked. In fact, sometimes she wondered if her presence made it worse, but whenever she would try to leave he would stop her. It didn't frustrate her, just made her sad that he wouldn't confide in her.

Grateful that today was not one of those days, Maxie snatched Spinelli's wrist, looking at his watch to see what time it was. Dr. Lee had five minutes left before she would be running into their appointment, something that would not make Maxie very happy at all. She was very eager to get the first ultrasound over with.

"Okay, Wrist Thief, you could have just asked for the time."

Maxie sighed, tapping her foot a million times a minute. Between her and Spinelli's nerves General Hospital would probably need to get new carpet from holes they were rubbing into the ground. Across the room, the elevator doors opened up to reveal Robin and Dr. Lee. Robin spotted her and waved, but then darted down another corridor. She must have been busy. Maxie noticed her cousin's own baby bump developing. That reminded her that she needed to try and make some girl time for her and Robin to discuss all the drama in their lives.

Spinelli stood up quickly at the sight of Dr. Lee, bouncing on his heels with excitement. Maxie followed suit, smiling at his enthusiasm. Dr. Lee greeted them warmly and waved for them to follow her. Spinelli grabbed Maxie's hand and pulled her along. Maxie took a deep breath and said a quick prayer that he would be just as excited when they left.

----

"So what do you think?" Dr. Lee swiveled the ultrasound wand over Maxie's abdomen, smirking at the pair of stunned parents-to-be. Maxie lay back on the exam table, craning her neck to see the grainy black and white screen. Spinelli was at her side, holding her hand, captivated by what he was seeing.

"Okay, see this area right here? That is the head. The rest of the body is right there." Dr. Lee pointed to each area. He could see what she was talking about, the white outline of a small form glowing back at him. It was different than he had expected. Although, of course, he didn't know what he was expecting. A baby typing on a laptop waving out at him?

He choked on his air a little, caught between a laugh and a small sob. He hadn't realized it but his eyes were welling up with tears. Maxie squeezed his hand tightly. Looking down at her, she had covered her face with her free hand, peaking between her fingers at the screen. Spinelli had never seen her look more adorable.

She fixed her eyes on him for a moment and Spinelli felt his heart skip a few beats as he stared down into her baby blues. Maxie brought their clasped hands to her lips and swiftly kissed his fingers. If Dr. Lee weren't in the room Spinelli was sure that that was the moment he would have professed everything to Maxie.

"You know, at this point, your baby has been using its stepping reflex for about a week or so," Dr. Lee said matter-of-factly, pulling him out of his trance. Spinelli was grateful for the reprieve, knowing that he was moments away from ruining a perfect thing with Maxie.

Maxie chirped up, intrigued. "It's what?"

"The stepping reflex is a way for the baby to start developing its walking capabilities when it's born. Right now it should be making jumping movements and things like that to develop the impulse."

"That's amazing…" Spinelli looked at the little glowing picture, lost in it. He half expected the baby to do a little jig just for him. There was his first family movie he realized.

Dr. Lee moved the wand around and the image morphed. Now it showed a really round shaped thing. Spinelli tried to figure out what he was looking at. "Okay, so now we can start looking for any early signs of Down's syndrome. It's still early but this is when we can really start to get an image of how healthy the baby is."

"Does he look okay?" Maxie croaked, her eyes glittering. Dr. Lee nodded but laughed a little.

"He? Already made that decision?"

"Or she. Doesn't matter."

"Well, right now everything looks perfectly normal." Dr. Lee started printing off a copy of the ultrasound. She handed one to each of them. Spinelli studied the fuzzy image closely. _Looks like I've got a new__ computer __background._ Here was his first family photograph. When he looked up, Maxie was already wiping the weird ultrasound goo off of her stomach, sitting up properly.

"Any questions? Like I said, everything looks fine. As long as _yo__u," _Dr. Lee spoke, looking directly at Maxie, "are taking good care of yourself I'm not expecting any troubles so far." Maxie nodded her head fervently, wiping her eyes quickly. She was smiling so big that Spinelli was sure he'd never seen her so happy. It was almost as if she were a different person. He resisted the urge to hold her to him, fighting all of his instincts.

His feelings for her had multiplied uncontrollably. Sometimes it was torture just to be in the same room as Maxie because she was completely oblivious to how all of her quick embraces and gentle touches made him feel. And when she looked at him with those big blue eyes of hers, forget it. He was a goner. If he had any inclination that she felt the same way, there wouldn't be a force in the world that could stop him from telling her. Sadly, all of her affection just seemed to be her natural way of dealing with people.

Dr. Lee made her way to the doorway, opening it for the two of them. Maxie and Spinelli were barely ten feet out the door before Maxie flung her arms around his neck, holding him tightly, laughing and perhaps even crying a little too. Swaying him back and forth, Maxie looked up at him and swiftly kissed him on the cheek, sending the ever present goose bumps down his back.

Spinelli had forgotten that the two of them were in a very public place until he saw Robin Scorpio watching the two of them very closely. He felt heat rising into his cheeks. Spinelli gingerly untangled Maxie from him, feeling as though Robin had stumbled into something he didn't want others to see.

Maxie was glowing. "Wasn't that incredible? And you were nervous!" She playfully smacked him in the chest. Spinelli didn't remind her that she had been just as nervous as he had been.

He pulled the sonogram picture out of his pocket. Maxie peaked over his shoulder at the picture, giggling a little. Robin started making her way toward the two of them. As soon as Maxie spotted her, she bustled over to her cousin and dragged her forcibly back over to where Spinelli was still standing when the printed image.

"Look at this!" Maxie plucked the picture out his hand, waving it in front of Robin. Robin's face lit up.

"Aww…That's great Maxie. I wish I had mine with me so that I could show you," she said, scanning over the image. Spinelli took a few steps back, feeling as though he were intruding on a private family conversation.

"Spinelli thinks it's a boy." Maxie said jovially, taking the picture back.

"Typical male," Robin laughed, shaking her head a little. Maxie gave him back his copy. Looking at the picture again, Spinelli had a sudden idea. There was one person he could think of that would really want to see this. He just didn't know how she would take it.

"Hey, Maxie, I have to go do something."

Maxie's grin faded a little. "Oh, okay…I just thought…well…I thought maybe we could go get something to eat or something…"

Spinelli's heart sank. He really didn't want to miss an opportunity to be with Maxie a little longer. But Spinelli didn't know if he would have the guts to follow through with his idea if he waited.

"The Jackal would love to accompany you to grab some grub…but…Well…it's important."

Maxie able to read him, heard the urgency in his voice. She didn't pry. After a few seconds of mental debate, Spinelli gave Maxie a quick hug goodbye and darted away before she could wonder what the hell had come over him.

----

Maxie watched Spinelli hustle towards the elevator. Something was going on. She knew better than to ask, but it still didn't help that he wouldn't tell her what was going on. She sighed. He was an enigma. As if his vocabulary wasn't hard enough to understand, the things he didn't say were even more confusing.

She'd been watching him while they were in the exam room, seeing all sorts of thoughts rush across his mind. Here she was, having his baby for god's sake, and he was still such a mystery to her. The only thing she was positive about when it came to him was that he would be there for her whenever she needed.

Maxie had almost forgotten that she was not alone until Robin cleared her throat. "Well…umm…You two are quite the couple."

"What?" Maxie laughed. "Spinelli? And me? We're not together." What was that all about? Robin knew they were just friends. Sure, there was a baby involved now, but that was like…a perk. What would ever give Robin the idea that things had gone any farther than that?

Raising her eyebrows, Robin looked doubtful. "Not what it looked like when I walked up. You just about sent him into orbit when you kissed him on the cheek."

"What do you mean?" Maxie shuffled her feet, confused. She replayed the embrace in her mind, trying to figure out if there was ever a moment where Spinelli might have seemed uncomfortable, or more importantly, too comfortable.

"You should have seen his face," Robin laughed darkly. "I think his eyes rolled back into his head."

"You're kidding me!" She gasped, a hand flying up to her face. It was clear by the look on Robin's face that she wasn't joking.

"Nope. When he saw that I was looking he pushed you off of him. I think I interrupted his moment."

Maxie couldn't grasp what she was saying. "Spinelli…he doesn't…no way."

"Maxie…" Robin was looking at her very skeptically. Maxie thought of all the moments she and Spinelli had been alone together, trying to pick up some clue that Robin was speaking the truth. Her cousin was the type to just gossip for the sake of having something to do.

"Are you trying to tell me," Maxie spoke slowly, "that Spinelli has feelings for me?"

Robin sighed. "All I'm saying is that when I walked up here I thought the two of you were in the throes of young love and I was wondering why I hadn't gotten the memo."

Maxie couldn't think of anything to say. All of those times when Spinelli had begun to slip into his strange sadness, the moments where she thought he didn't want her around…Maybe she hadn't been so off base in thinking that her presence made him worse.

Of course, there were a number of things that could have made him that way. She already knew about his family problems, well…vaguely. Maybe as his impending fatherhood grew nearer he was becoming more stressed out about what kind of parent he would be.

Besides, they had plenty of moments, like today, where everything was fine. No, Robin had to be wrong.

"Maxie, would it be so bad if he did, you know…have feelings for you?" Robin asked.

For some reasonMaxie thought about the dream she'd had weeks ago… The couple with their backs turned to her, holding hands fiercely. _No, that wouldn't be a bad thing at all._

----

Spinelli sat at a table at Kelly's, nervously fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers. The sonogram sat face down on the tabletop in front of him. He waited for his guest to arrive, hoping she wouldn't bail on him.

And she didn't. Lulu walked in the door, the bell jingling as she entered, and she stopped when she saw him. He hadn't spoken to her since their fight at the hospital. For a moment neither of them moved, but then Lulu came over to his table and sat down awkwardly.

"Hi," she said uneasily.

"Hi."

Lulu shuffled a little, looking down at her hands. "You wanted to see me?"

Spinelli nodded and pushed the copy of the ultrasound to her. Her fingertips grazed the back of the picture as she looked at him uncertainly. Spinelli tipped his head at her, ushering her to turn the picture over. He watched as Lulu's face evolved from confusion to shock.

"Is this…?" She asked, her eyes darting from him and back to the picture several times.

He nodded. "Maxie and Spinelli, INC."

Lulu let out a great rush of air. Her hand flew to her mouth. Spinelli let her take it all in, not wanting to pressure her to feel any one way about the circumstance.

"She didn't steal this?" Lulu asked innocently. Spinelli grinned a little, remembering the experience of seeing his baby on screen from the first time.

"No, Blonde One, I was there."

"Spinelli…I'm sorry…I am, really…" Lulu pressed the picture back onto the table, still looking at it. Her face was flushing with embarrassment.

"You don't have to apologize," he assured her, putting a hand on top of her forearm. This was never about embarrassing her or telling her that she was wrong. "Lulu, I just miss my friend."

Lulu looked at him and he thought he might have seen a small smile forming in the corner of her lips. Spinelli felt as though things were going well. She hadn't stormed away outraged yet. He crossed his fingers under the table hoping she would stay and talk with him.

"So…The Jackal is really going to have a little mini Jackal?" Lulu asked, her bottom lip puckering out, eyes bright. Spinelli tucked his head sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't know if he would ever get used to the happiness he felt when people asked him that. To think he'd ever been panicked or angry about Maxie's pregnancy was strange.

"Yes…a mini Jackal. Or maybe a mini Maxie."

"Let's hope it's a mini Jackal."

Spinelli sighed. Lulu wouldn't ever be able to accept that Maxie wasn't a horrible person; she'd just done some horrible things. It wasn't his place though to try to fix things between Lulu and Maxie, even if was possible.

"Maxie…is different." Spinelli tried to explain, spinning the picture of his baby back towards him. She'd made this child with him, hadn't she? She couldn't be bad. In fact, she might have been the best thing to ever happen to him…but she couldn't know that.

Lulu watched him quietly, not debating him. "I don't know if I'll ever understand…but you're happy…I get that."

"Happier now that I'm talking to you. The Jackal has deeply missed being able to converse with you."

Lulu bowed her head. "Didn't we say we were going to try and be better friends at the Black and White Ball? I haven't really stuck to that."

Spinelli sighed, thinking back to that horrible night so long ago. An old man on a rampage seemed a lot less stressful than the life he was living now. At least this stress was not out of his control. And it also wasn't wielding a sword or a gun.

"Hey, were you the one who told the Valkylrie that I should babysit?"

"What?" Lulu laughed, genuinely amused. "She wants you to babysit?"

Spinelli pretended to take offense. "Do you not think that the assassin of the cyberspace will make an excellent child care specialist?"

Lulu scooted her chair over to him and hugged him. "Yes, I think you'll do fine," she murmured to him. "And if you are as good a dad as you are a friend you're kid is going to be the luckiest."

Spinelli hugged her back, feeling as though for the first time in months, things were fine, balanced. He eyed the sonogram lying on the table. No, he was the lucky one.

**----**

**A/N: I'****m guessing by the slow response I got on the last chapter that you guys really want me to pick up the plot of the story. I promise it's all going according to plan. The next 5 chapters have all been developed and they are action packed. A few of you have already figured out the ****Carly**** thing and ****know exactly what I'm doing…so I beg you guys to be patient with me and don't bail out on me yet! ****I'm afraid I'm losing people…**

**Check out two amazing ****Spixie**** stories, (these really have impressed me with their uniqueness): As Time Goes By ****by Ku-****chyan**** and ****Sometimes It's Everything**** by ****soulache****. Beautiful ****fics.**

**Next Chapter: Spinelli babysitting, Lulu and Maxie ****Redux ****REDUX****, and a frightening scare. **


	12. Stop and Stare

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 12: Stop and Stare**

"Morgan, I do believe this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship."

Spinelli lounged back on the Carly's couch, little Morgan propped up next to him. The pair were watching Spongebob. He was a little shocked at how easy this whole babysitting routine was going for him. Michael sat in an arm chair working on his homework while Spinelli and Morgan enjoyed the television. Carly and Jax had gone out for dinner, but Spinelli expected them to be back within two hours. Morgan looked up at Spinelli and smiled. He was a really shy child. Spinelli wondered how he was the son of Carly and Sonny, two of the most outspoken people he'd ever met.

"Need any help, Mikey?" Spinelli asked. He need better names for these kids. He couldn't exactly call them "Godprinces" to their faces. Michael shrugged, keeping to his work. Spinelli stood up and went to read over Michael's shoulder. Pre-algebra homework. That sounded brutal. It looked as if the education system was beating the students with the hard stuff earlier and earlier these days.

"You forgot to square this root," Spinelli informed Michael, pointing to a problem that he'd messed up on. Michael paused, cocking his head to the side.

"Oh. Wow. Thanks. I couldn't figure out why I kept getting negative 48."

Spinelli grinned. This was fun. School had never been one of his favorite things, always preferring to learn things on his own, away from the people who judged him and spent their time worrying about idle gossip. Helping Michael with homework, though, seemed right. So did sitting here watching cartoons, in a house, with kids, just enjoying the day. _Maybe this will one day be mine_, Spinelli thought to himself, picturing a cooing baby bouncing on his knee, Maxie curled up next to him on the couch, resting her head on his shoulder. Wait. Scratch that last part. Spinelli sighed, trying to repress all romantic thoughts about Maxie for the hundredth time that day.

Sighing, Spinelli headed back over to the couch. Sinking down into the cushions, glanced over at Morgan. The kid was sound asleep. Spinelli laughed. He wished he could fall asleep so easily. The sun was just making its way down the sky for the evening, and here Morgan was, out like a light. Standing, Spinelli scooped up Morgan in his arms. He didn't even act as though he were about to wake. Spinelli carried him upstairs to his room, leaving the closet light on just in case Morgan woke up in the dark.

As he traipsed lightly back down the stairs, Spinelli could hear the monotone mumblings of a television show that was definitely not Spongebob or some other cartoon. Coming into view of the living room, Spinelli saw that Michael was no longer working on his homework, instead sitting on the arm of the couch, watching the news intently.

"Ah. The Evening News," Spinelli began, slowly walking back over to the couch, watching Michael's face intently. There was something creepy about a kid watching the news. "…Where we all sit back and take in the dark and misfortunate evils of the world in between commercial breaks."

Michael waved for him to be quiet. "Shh."

"Mikey…may I ask what a young lad such as yourself would need to be watching the news for?" Spinelli sat down heavily, trying not to act too overbearing. It wasn't so much that Michael was watching the news, it was the intense way he was doing it. Spinelli noted one of his fists were clenched, his facial expression extremely thoughtful.

Michael didn't take his eyes away from the screen. "I want to hear if they've found anything about the Text Message Killer."

Spinelli's heart sank. That was horrible. The murderer had stolen this child's innocence. It was clear as day. He'd sucked the life out of Leticia, Emily, and Georgie. He'd terrified Carly, Maxie, and Alexis. However, the most disgusting crime the Text Message Killer had committed so far was the look of hatred in that child's eyes. Spinelli had no idea what to say to him to Michael to take the power away from the killer.

"Michael…" he spoke gently, scooting closer to him. "Hey, dude, seriously, you don't need to be worrying about that kind of stuff. There are protectors of the night out there constantly searching for him, not to mention your most intimidating parental figure and of course Stone Cold, er….Jason…They're all concerning themselves with that stuff so that you don't have to."

"So far they've done a lousy job and the guy that killed Leticia and Emily and tried to kill my mom is still out there," Michael spat, cracking his knuckles.

"Listen, I understand your frustration. He killed my most loyal and amazing friend, Georgie Jones." Spinelli tried to explain, but Michael wasn't buying what he was selling.

His young eyes flashed darkly. "And you don't want to stop him?"

"Of course I want to stop him…" Spinelli replied, unable to break the dark glare of the child. "If I had the chance I would. But that still doesn't mean that you should be worrying about it."

Michael looked down at his hands, his ears flushing red. He slid down from the arm of the couch onto the cushions. Grabbing the remote, Michael started flipping through the channels to find something else to watch. Spinelli hoped that he had perhaps taken some of his words to heart and prayed Michael wasn't just switching the channel to change the subject.

Stopping on some sort of documentary about Africa, Michael kicked back. It was strange to see the shift in his attitude. He seemed to be relaxing at the sight of majestic nature scene. The pair sat there and watched the show in silence for a long time before Michael spoke up again.

"So," Michael cleared his throat. "My mom said you're going to be a dad. Aren't you a little young?"

Spinelli let out a barking laugh. He shuffled a little, bringing his legs up into the seat, tucking them under his chin. "Well…uh…you know. Kind of surprised Maxie and me both."

"Is Maxie you're wife? You're a little young to be married too."

"Hah. My wife? No. Not my wife." _Though…maybe…never mind._

"Oh," Michael said lightly. "So she's you're girlfriend."

"Uh…Yeah, she's my…my girlfriend." Spinelli didn't know how to explain 'one night stand' to a 6th grader. _Well, when two people don't love each other at all and hardly know anything about the other person…_Spinelli liked the way the word girlfriend stumbled off his tongue. He wished he was able to say it for real, and not just as a sad explanation to a kid. It felt right.

"Cool," Michael replied, going back to his program. Spinelli turned to the window by the door, watching the last orange streaks of the day slowly succumbing to the night's power. Maxie was probably getting off of work right at that moment. He wondered how her day had been, questioned if whether or not she'd thought of him at all.

----

Her head was pounding, her stomach was growling, and she had to close the boutique by herself. It had been a terrible day. Maxie stormed down the stairs to the docks, hoping to take the shortcut to Kelly's diner. She desperately needed some food. Longing for some peach pie, a few donuts, and a hamburger, Maxie scoffed at the realization that she was having the dreaded pregnancy cravings. Hell, at that moment anything would be good. She'd been a fool and thought it would be okay to skip lunch that day, a very stupid decision. Now she was practically shaking from low blood sugar.

And her day just got worse. Lulu Spencer was sitting on a bench overlooking the water. Maxie wondered if it would be possible to just sneak right by her but her boots smacking against the ground proved that thought wrong. Lulu looked over her shoulder, her eyes growing big at the sight of Maxie. She was probably looking at Maxie's stomach jutting out from beneath her blouse. On such a small frame, Maxie had to admit that the baby bump looked a little weird. Lulu stood up, snatching up her purse, walking around the bench towards her.

"Maxie. Hi."

"Lulu," Maxie began, sighing. "I've got a headache radiating down to my teeth and all I've eaten today is a stupid banana. I just want to go to Kelly's and get some food before I pass out. I don't have time to fight with you." She started to go around Lulu, but her nemesis held out a hand to stop her. If she had the fight in her at the moment Maxie was sure she would have just pushed Lulu to the ground.

"I'll make it quick then. Spinelli showed me the sonogram a few weeks ago. I get it…this is real." Lulu looked at her shoes, a little rose color rising in her cheeks. It was almost as if she was apologizing. It pissed Maxie off that she didn't have the time to force Lulu to eat her overconfident words.

"Okay… Didn't ever need _your_ approval of the subject, but whatever. Now, I'm going to get some food." Maxie went around Lulu, almost making it to the stairs before she felt a hand clasp her elbow. Spinning back around, Maxie groaned with frustration.

"What do you want?" She demanded, throwing her arms in the air out of aggravation.

Lulu cleared her throat, crossing her arms in front of her. "Spinelli is happy. Really, really happy. You break his heart, I'll break your face."

"Oooh," Maxie scoffed, waving her fingers in front of Lulu like an evil witch. "I'm shaking in my two hundred dollar boots." Lulu took a step forward, only a foot away from Maxie's face. The Bad Blonde One was whispering in her ear. Clenching a fist, Maxie prepared herself to knock Lulu silly. _Calm down, crazy lady, you're pregnant. _

"Don't laugh me off, Maxie," Lulu said dangerously. "You, _somehow_, have gotten Spinelli's loyalty. Consider yourself lucky."

"Don't preach to _me_ about how I should treat Spinelli."

Lulu opened her mouth to reply but the quiet night was interrupted by the strange robotic jingle of a cell phone chirping. Scrambling through her purse, Lulu pulled out her phone. Her face paled as she read the screen. Looking up at Maxie, bug-eyed, Lulu spun the phone around so that Maxie could see what was making her so upset. It was a text message from an unknown number.

**U or the little mother 1st**

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. The Text Message killer had been quiet for weeks. Her hands clasped her stomach instinctively, her heart racing. The sick monster was watching them, knew exactly who they were, was close enough to not only see two women standing alone together on the docks but also see that she was pregnant. Maxie's chirping phone drug her out of her troubled thoughts. With a shaking hand she quickly searched around in her own bag for her phone, spotting the screen glowing from underneath her wallet and a packet of gum. Ripping it out of the bag, Maxie saw the terrifying letters glowing on the screen. ONE NEW TEXT MESSAGE.

**2 for the price of 1.**

"What does yours say?" Lulu asked, snatching Maxie's phone away from her weak grasp. She swallowed hard, trying to figure out something to do. Looking around, Maxie hoped that she could spot the dark eyes that were bound to be watching her and Lulu at that very moment, getting off on his twisted game.

"That son of a bitch is watching us."

"We need to call the cops." Lulu whispered, backing up towards the water's edge. Maxie inched towards the stairway that led to the alleyway. Gripping the railing of the stairs, she tried to focus into the darkness for any sign of movement or perhaps the glow of a phone. He was so close, she could feel it.

"Where are you, you sick bastard?" Maxie screamed. "You think you can just threaten me and my kid and get away with it?"

"Maxie, stop it." Lulu pulled Maxie away from the stairs, but just as she was being tugged away Maxie was positive she saw movement from the alley. Diving into her purse, she felt around for the pocket knife she'd taken to carrying ever since her attack months ago. Her head was pounding, but she was resolved to take the blade and shove it into the chest of the man who'd ripped her sister from the world, looking into his eyes as he pathetically realized he'd been caught. Maxie fought to get Lulu's grip off of her, but Lulu was now holding her tight by both arms.

"Maxie! Stop it; this is stupid, think of your baby!"

"HE KILLED MY SISTER!"

Maxie could feel the world start to spin around her, but adrenaline was controlling her now. She broke free of Lulu's grip with one swift shake. Darting for the stairs, Maxie started feeling heavy and sort of crooked. Placing her foot down on the top stair, her knee quivered beneath her. The color world started to fade to black, her grip on the railing slipping through her hand. A quick dance with consciousness and Maxie felt herself falling, unaware of what the starlit sky was doing flying over her head before she hit the ground.

Lulu screamed as she watched Maxie crumple and tumble backwards down the stairs. Rushing to her side, Lulu felt for a pulse. Maxie's heart was racing in her chest. Her face was pale and she lay crooked like a broken flower on the steps, one of her legs contorted awkwardly, her head dangling over the edge of the bottom step. Lulu didn't know what to do. The Text Message Killer was probably still watching them, laughing at the state they found themselves in.

Spotting the pocket knife that had fallen out of Maxie's grip, Lulu snatched it up. With her free arm Lulu tried to pull Maxie gently backwards off the stairs, praying that she wouldn't make her worse by moving her. Dragging Maxie smoothly across the weatherworn wooden docks, Lulu lay her down close to the water's edge, trying to keep the best view of either entrance down onto their level in plain view. It was the only thing she could think of to do.

Lulu scrambled for her cell phone to call 911. As the phone rang, Lulu shuddered in the night. She might hate Maxie Jones for all she'd done to her, but the little bump on her small frame was the child of her best friend. She wasn't ready to have to tell him that all of his happiness was over.

"Please," Lulu cried out to no one, to someone who couldn't hear her. "Please be okay."

----

Spinelli opened the fridge and stared into the yellow glow of light, his eyes running over the shelves of food trying to find something to eat. It was almost seven o'clock and he had a hankering for some barbeque chips, but Carly's cabinets were devoid of such greatness. Michael stood next to him, peaking into the fridge as well. Spinelli drummed his fingers on the door handle, trying to think creatively.

"Mikey, what looks tasty?"

Micheal looked at him skeptically. "Do you cook?"

"Hah!" Spinelli started grabbing a few ingredients from the fridge. "Did Bill Shakespeare write sonnets? I'm the Jackal, of course I cook." He brought the bounty over to the counter. Spinelli started opening drawers and cabinets looking for some mixing bowls and a measuring cup. Michael laughed from behind him.

"Why do you call yourself the jackal?"

"Because…" Spinelli paused, thinking for a moment for a proper response. "I'm the assassin of cyberspace." Shrugging, Spinelli went back to his new project. Michael stepped over to the counter.

"I have no idea what that means."

"Few truly do."

Michael watched him, amused. Spinelli darted back to the fridge for a carton of milk, sliding it across the counter. He scanned through a few more drawers, pulling out a couple of aprons. Spinelli spun Michael about, looping a bright pink apron around him, much to Michael's disapproval. Laughing at the look of horror on the kid's face, Spinelli tied a much manlier black apron around his own waist, bouncing back over to the counter to begin working his food magic.

"What are you making?" Michael asked, leaning against the counter, spinning a few eggs around and around.

"WE, my young friend, are making the miracle known to man as pancakes."

Michael sputtered. "Breakfast for dinner?"

Spinelli pinched a little flour from its container, blowing it in Michael's face. "Rattles the brain doesn't it?"

"Hey!" Michael exclaimed, dusting the powder off of his face, grinning. Spinelli laughed, tossed an egg to Michael, waving for him to crack it. The pair spent the next thirty minutes preparing and cooking their breakfast feast, getting creative with a few of the pancakes, adding a lot of random fruits to them out of curiosity. Spinelli was thrilled he'd taken Carly up on her offer. This was a very therapeutic experience.

Once they were done, Spinelli had Michael set the table while he went upstairs to rouse Morgan from his nap. Spinelli crouched down beside the reposing little form, poking him on the nose. Morgan's eyes fluttered open.

" Young Moe, I have made pancakes."

Morgan grinned, sitting up. "Pancakes?"

Spinelli nodded, excitedly. He snatched Morgan up, flipping him upside down. Morgan squealed, his arms dangling towards the ground, thrashing about. Spinelli faked him out, pretending to lose his grip. Morgan laughed, and the pair traipsed back down the stairs just like, Spinelli careful to keep a tight grip. He plopped Morgan into one of the dining room chairs, the child red faced from laughing. Spinelli headed to the front of the table.

"Okay, Gentlemen. Tonight, we dine like kings." He served Michael and Morgan a few of the pancakes before sitting down himself, taking in the fun aura of the day. Spinelli realized he didn't have any memories of a childhood experience like this. Just playing and being silly. It wouldn't be that way for his kid, that was certain. The slamming of the front door brought him out of his thoughts. Carly and Jax made their way into the kitchen, smiling at the scene before them.

"Hey, you guys!" Carly began, walking over to Morgan, kissing him on top of his head. "You look like you're having fun." She winked at Spinelli.

"Mr. Jackal made us pancakes!" Morgan declared, taking a huge bite out of one of his.

"I can see that," Carly laughed.

Spinelli waved for the two to sit. "Would you or Mr. Valkylrie like to join us?"

"I think I could split a pancake." Carly smiled, pulling out a chair. She snatched the fork out of Michael's hand, stealing a chunk of one of his blueberry creations. Jax pulled out a chair next to Spinelli, sitting down lightly. Spinelli leaned over slightly, speaking quietly.

"How am I doing?"

" Looks like you did a good job, Spinelli." Jax clapped him on the shoulder and Spinelli felt a rush of excitement. Everything had gone well. Was that confidence brewing in his heart? He felt a little blush rising into his cheeks, but he smiled nonetheless.

"Warmest thanks, Jax." Spinelli felt his phone quiver in his pocket. He answered it quickly without even looking to see who it was, standing to leave the room.

"The Jackal Babysitting Service, how may I help you?" He leaned against the doorframe lightly.

"Spinelli…it's Lulu."

"Blonde One. What's up?"

"Spinelli..." Her voice said it all. Something was wrong. Spinelli felt himself slipping off the high he'd been having all afternoon.

"What is it?"

"Maxie is in the hospital," Lulu explained, exhaling heavily. He registered what she said, but didn't understand.

"What? What happened?" He felt his hands become clammy as they grasped the phone. Maxie was supposed to be relaxing from a long day at work. That's what she did. She went to work, she came home safely.

Lulu's voice quivered but she spoke quickly. "We were talking on the docks and then we both got text messages from the killer and Maxie got all rattled and tried to find him but she fainted and fell down the stairs." The scene played out in his head. Pressing his eyes with his free hand, Spinelli tried to push the horrible image from his mind of Maxie scared for her life.

"Is…is she okay?"

"She's conscious now. They just kicked me out of her room to do an exam and make sure the baby is okay. I wish I could tell you more."

He spun around on the doorframe, gripping it tightly so that he didn't fall down. This was it, this was the phone call. It was time for the whole thing to come crumbling down on him. It was all too good to be true, he'd known that from the start. Things never went his way.

"Spinelli? Are you there?"

"Yeah," Spinelli replied, empty. "I'm coming to the hospital."

Carly had been watching him. She stood and laid a hand on his shoulder gently. He tried to look her in the eye but found it impossible to really see her.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything." Spinelli pushed himself off the doorframe, bustling for the door, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

----

Laying on her side, Maxie sobbed into the pillow of the hospital bed. What had she been thinking? How could she have been such a fool? Some mother she was, throwing her life haphazardly into the tangles of a dangerous and threatening situation just to get some revenge. Maxie wrapped her arms around herself tightly, feeling so drained and vacant.

The squeak of sliding sneakers sounded in front of her doorway. Maxie turned and saw Spinelli standing there, out of breath, clinging to doorframe. He paused, just looking at her for a moment. Maxie's lip quivered at the sight of him. Spinelli bounded quickly over to her bedside, gently sitting down on the edge of her bed. She sat up properly and ran a hand down his arm. He was shaking a little.

"I'm sorry," Maxie pleaded with him, gazing at him for some understanding. "Spinelli, I'm so sorry." She felt a few more tears slipping down her cheeks. He reached out a trembling hand and wiped the tears away. Maxie leaned into his touch, needing his comfort at the moment. His hand fell heavily back into his lap, swiveling her tears on his fingertips. Spinelli's gaze fell from hers.

"I don't understand…"

Maxie pat the bump in her stomach, smoothing the hospital gown over it. "The Text Message Killer threatened us and I just lost it, Spinelli…I can't believe I tried to go after him…it was terrifying." She shuddered at the memory of the evening, positive she'd seen movement in the alleyway, the twisted evil staring out at her and Lulu.

Spinelli went pale, watching her touch her stomach. "The baby's okay?"

"Dr. Lee said everything is fine," Maxie sniffled. "but that I had a really close call. My blood sugar is low, that's why I fainted on the stairs. I didn't eat properly, and it's just been a stressful day. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Maxie was taken aback when Spinelli wrapped his arms around her tightly, pulling her to him as close as he could. Their noses grazed against each other as he pressed their foreheads together. Spinelli cupped her face, closing his eyes.

"You can't do this to stuff, Maxie," he whispered to her. "You have to take better care of yourself and not try to be a superhero all the time."

Maxie closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around him. "I know, I'm sorry…"

He shuddered. "This is every dark and devious thought that I have each night when I close my eyes playing out right before me. Don't you understand? Do you not get it? I can't go back to being alone, Maxie, I can't."

Spinelli pulled away from her face, looking her in the eyes. Someone else was gazing out at her, and it definitely wasn't the Jackal or the assassin of cyberspace. She'd seen him look at her like this only once before. His eyes had flashed that hidden part of himself for a few moments the night they'd slept together.

Maxie remembered the moment vividly because it was so jarring. Back on that late January night, she'd pressed him into the cushions of Jason's couch, kissing him fiercely. When Maxie broke away from him to catch her breath, there was that stare looking back at her. He'd been bewildered, but wasn't refusing her either. In fact, Spinelli was the one who'd caught her in their next kiss, the one that had led to everything else. That look…Was it starvation?

Ever since their trip to the hospital to get the sonogram a few weeks back, the day that Robin had insinuated that Spinelli had more than friendship on his mind, Maxie had been watching her friend more and more closely for some sort of sign that something like that was possible. Maxie ran a hand through his hair.

"Spinelli, is there something you want to tell me?"

His eyes darted around, a pink flush rising on his cheeks. He rested his forehead on her shoulder, not answering her. There it was. That was her confirmation. Spinelli didn't need to say a word, she knew it was true. For some reason he couldn't speak the words, but to be honest, Maxie didn't know what she would say to him if he had. Things had suddenly become much more complicated than she'd anticipated.

Maxie spotted Lulu over Spinelli's shoulder standing in the doorway. Lulu watched them silently, a strange expression on her face. Once Lulu realized that Maxie was looking at her, she kind of sheepishly bowed her head. It was strange to think her worst enemy had been the one who'd saved her life. Maxie mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Lulu. Nodding curtly, Lulu gave a small wave and headed back out the doorway silently.

----

**A/N: I'm on a ****Spixie**** buzz…this has been a great week. Thank you all for the overwhelming show of encouragement regarding my fears that I might have been losing people because of the speed of the story. I adore you all.**

**I would love ****hearing your thoughts on this chapter…A little fun mixed with a little dark and a lot of tension between Maxie and Spin. ****Comments? ****Questions?**** Need for spoilers? ****Review ****:D**

**Next Chapter: Seven moments lead to one realization, seven moments that made all the difference.**


	13. Seven Moments

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 12: ****Seven Moments (that made her fall)**

_Author's note_: These moments take place over the course of a month.

**ONE**

Maxie lounged on her couch, reading a magazine. All of the summer clothes featured in the articles looked so cute, but she wouldn't be able to wear any of them. By the time they were in style she would be as big as a whale, wearing some sort of spandex creation. What a horrible thought. Glancing down at the t-shirt and pajama bottoms that she was sporting at the moment, Maxie realized that she was just about ready to bust them both at the seams. When had that happened? She was almost four months along, but did babies just kind of balloon out like that suddenly?

"You better be adorable," Maxie muttered, petting the bump. "Because Mom is about to run out of clothes."

"Who are you talking to?" Mac entered the living room, startling her out of her peaceful moment.

"Maxelli," Maxie replied without hesitation, smiling at him. He plopped down in the lounge chair next to her, pulling out a newspaper. Mac stopped and registered what she said, eyebrows raised.

"What?"

"That's what Spinelli calls the baby. Maxelli."

Mac grimaced. "Are you ever going to explain to me how the two of you…never mind. I don't want to know."

"You leave him alone, Mac. Spinelli has been great about this whole thing. He's always there for me." Mac gave her a doubtful look but didn't pry any further, reading his newspaper. She wasn't going to beg him to understand.

Maxie went back to her magazine, flipping through to the makeup section. No matter how big she got her makeup wouldn't be affected. The doorbell rang suddenly, drawing her out of her rouge and lip gloss fantasy. Mac stood to answer the door. Craning her neck to see who it was, Maxie was first able to spot a striped grey and black beanie atop the head of a wickedly grinning Spinelli, a smile that slipped quickly off of his face when he saw who answered the door.

"Police Commissioner. Sir." He sputtered, shuffling. Mac sighed heavily, opening the door for him. Spinelli squeezed through, a blush rising to his cheeks. As soon as he spotted Maxie he looked relieved. It took him only a few quick bounds to cross the room, plopping down heavily on the couch beside her. That was his nervous/excited walk. Maxie was slowly decoding the odd ways by which he moved, whether it was the bouncing hops or odd shuffles, or some random combination. Mac grumbled a little and left the room.

"Hey Spin," Maxie greeted him, but he was ignoring her, pouring out a brown paper bag that he'd been clutching onto her coffee table. Out fell a few bags of chips, two sub sandwiches, a package of cookies and some drinks.

"The hunter has brought home the bounty," Spinelli said, waving his hand over the pile of food. Laughing, Maxie dove for the bag of barbeque chips, ripping them open. His face fell as she took a chip and put it close to her mouth, ready to be devoured.

"Those..were…for me…but…"

Maxie teased him, moving the chip closer to her teeth. Spinelli narrowed his eyes. His hand reached out slowly for the bag of cookies on the table, her favorite chocolate chip. Maxie gasped, pretending to be shocked at his daring. The cookies within his grasp, Spinelli held out his other hand to Maxie.

"This is a hostage crisis, Militant Maxie. The chips…for the cookies." He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She pouted, placing the chip back in its bag. As she began to place the bag in his hand, Spinelli's eyes gleamed, and he quickly pulled the cookies and the chips to his chest, cackling.

"Not fair!" She squealed, scooting over to him. He brought his knees up to his chest, protectively guarding the goods. Maxie turned on the charm, puckering her lips and batting her eyelashes. "Puh-lez, Spinelli…just one chocolate chip?"

He sighed, handing over the cookies. "The Jackal is not strong enough to fight off such charisma."

Maxie smiled at him. "Why are you so good to me?"

Spinelli looked honestly perplexed. "I have a hard time imagining a world in which someone would not be good to my Sassy Maxie."

She scoffed, counting off in her head all of the people that hated her. Liz, Lucky, Coop, Logan, Lulu…who else..Who else. Maxie knew there were more. Each with their own favorite derogative term for her.

"Well, we live in a world where I'm a total bitch. So…a lot of people don't want anything but bad things for me." She looked down at her hands, picturing a few rather unpleasant scenarios that had she'd been involved in throughout her life. Reaching out a hand, Spinelli place it on her shoulder, grabbing her attention.

Spinelli was shaking his head furiously. "Don't you _ever_ call yourself that."

Maxie felt her heart flutter in her chest. How did he always manage to see the best in her?

**TWO**

Maxie watched the bag of popcorn spin around in the microwave, slowly growing bigger, looking more inflated each second that went by. It was like a rapid pregnancy in delicious snack form. The scent of the butter started to flitter out into the air, making her mouth begin to water. She was suddenly struck with one of her weird cravings. _What would chocolate and popcorn be like together?_

She could hear Spinelli cursing at the television in the living room. Jason was out for the evening and Spinelli had illegally downloaded a few movies off the internet. Maxie had offered to keep him company and, as she suspected, he didn't hesitate at all to take her up on that. Spinelli hated being alone in that penthouse. That was something they had in common. Neither of them liked being in a large house all on their own. The walls started to watch you and the air was never completely silent.

"Having trouble, Spinelli?" She yelled, unable to suppress a chuckle at the fact that even his cursing seemed slightly technical and dignified. Maxie jumped when she felt a hand on either hip. Suddenly she was tugged backwards, completely confused as to what is going on.

"You shouldn't stand in front of the microwave," Spinelli muttered gently in her ear, his breath on her neck sending goose bumps down her arms. He relinquished his grip on her hips, stepping in front of her to grab the popcorn from the microwave. Gingerly opening the bag, the popcorn steam hit him in the face, making him wince.

"I always forget that it does that."

He might forget to watch out for his own good, but he never forgot to look out for her.

**THREE**

At four months along, Maxie was scheduled for another ultrasound. Every appointment with Dr. Lee so far had brought some sort of drama or distraction, so she hoped that this one would be different. Spinelli gripped her hand tightly, always twice as nervous as she ever considered being. She could feel his hand shaking. Dr. Lee fired up the screen and Maxie held her breath as the grainy image started taking shape.

"There you go, folks. There's the big show." The doctor pointed out the head and the body, all sharper and more defined than they had been a month ago. It made her smile to see the little form that she talked to in her quiet time, the one she and Spinelli called Maxelli. People had always said that when you hold your child for the first time you will feel a love like nothing that you've ever experienced…Maxie thought they were nuts. She didn't need to hold anything to feel that love. It was radiating through her at that very moment. Her souvenir…

"Everything looks okay?" Spinelli asked, fixated on the screen. Maxie noted the hesitation in his voice. It always seemed as though he were ready for the world to come crashing down on him. She could see herself, however strangely, holding their baby in 5 months. However, for Spinelli, he acted like he couldn't let himself dream that far ahead. He wasn't always stressed, and in fact at times quite excited…but apprehension always took over. Why he always assumed that things might not turn out well, she didn't know. The answer could probably be found in the things he couldn't say.

Dr. Lee started grinning. "Yes, Spinelli." He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. A quick smile flashed in his eyes as the image became in better focus. Dr. Lee started messing with another tool that she hadn't used before.

"Ready for the finale?" she asked.

"What?" Maxie asked. Before Dr. Lee got a chance to answer her, a strange rhythmic swishing noise sounded in the room. The pattern was fast but not steady or erratic. It dawned on Maxie what the noise was, but her voice caught in her throat. Spinelli was looking around from her to Dr. Lee, confused.

"Is that…"

"The heartbeat," Maxie finished, choking on her words, pressing her eyes with her free hand. This was another one of B. J.'s gifts to her. First her heart, a second chance at living, the idea to never take life for granted, and now this. All of her life she'd wondered why she'd been the lucky one who got to live, was given so many second chances…somehow it all made sense. Spinelli was petting her hair…he must have been telepathic. At that moment it seemed he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Max…listen to that…" he murmured, his voice as cadenced as the heartbeat.

"I hear it, Spinelli…I hear it." She peaked out of her fingertips to look at him, spotting his green-blue stare looking down at her, eyes that always understood. She'd been given three hearts in her lifetime, B. J.'s, her baby's, and his. Spinelli's was the only one she'd been taking for granted.

**FOUR**

She found it hard to dial his number through her tears. Maxie couldn't even see the keypad on her phone; she had no idea if she was even calling the right number. It rang a few times before he answered.

"The Jackal, how may I help you?"

Maxie couldn't even form the words for a reply. She sputtered out a pathetic noise, leaning against the wall outside the boutique, trying to regain her composure. Sliding down the wall, Maxie crouched on the ground, sobbing into one of her hands.

"Maxie? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Spinelli asked urgently. Wiping her eyes on the back of her hand, Maxie took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She wasn't supposed to get upset like this, but it was impossible to contain her hurt at the moment.

"I just needed to talk to someone…"

"Maxie…"

"I'm at work, okay, and these witches that I work with were talking about me in the storage room…"

"I suppose they weren't saying what a wonderfully beautiful person you were?" Spinelli asked, lightness to his voice. Maxie jerked a little from a quick sob, astounded at how much his words meant to her.

"Oh, they were just saying that with my _reputation_ I probably didn't even know who the father was, and that I was just one more dumb slut bringing another bastard into the world."

"_What_?" Spinelli snarled, angrier than she'd ever heard him. Maxie tried to quickly explain before his head exploded.

"They are these pretentious rich spoiled brats that don't really need this job, and they think they can judge me or my baby? How could anyone be so hateful, Spinelli? I mean, our baby is so totally innocent and yet people are already passing judgment."

Spinelli was breathing hard on the other side of the phone. "I'm sorry Maxie…this is my fault…"

"What are you talking about Spinelli? You are the only person who doesn't judge me!"

"I could've just asked to you marry me a long time ago and no one would be able to say things like that about you." He replied very quickly, almost stuttering over the words. Maxie's hand flew to her mouth, shocked that he'd actually said such a thing. She sat in silence for a moment, wondering how he'd managed to twist her embarrassment into one of his shortcomings.

"Oh my god, Spin…" Maxie sighed. "No, I didn't mean it like that…I don't give a damn that we're not married…too many people rush into that sort of thing because of babies…it ends up ruining them…"

There was a pause. "I would…you know…marry you. If you wanted to. For the baby."

"Spin…" She began, trying to think of something to say to that. Glancing down at her ring finger, Maxie tried to imagine a wedding band there. They were best friends, having a child together, and he certainly loved her…and she was…pretty fond of him too. It might have worked better than most marriages, neither having some sort of magical expectations about the arrangement.

"Thank you for letting me rant to you. I've got to back to work." Hanging up the phone quickly, Maxie closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, letting some sunlight fall on her face. He was wearing her down. To a guy like Spinelli, a marriage would mean forever. No one had ever offered her that.

**FIVE**

They didn't bring up the idea of getting married again, both silently conceding that it was an extremely frightful idea. Ever since he'd said the words, though, she'd felt different when they were together. He was more than her friend now, that was certain. What he was, she didn't know, and Maxie wasn't quick to put a label on it. There might not be any category to describe the two of them.

All she knew was that she was beginning to like leaning her head on his shoulder, like she was now, watching him click away on his laptop. The pair sat on his bed in silence as he tried to defeat some sort of video game villain. Spinelli stared intently at the screen, a type of concentration she wasn't used to. It made her laugh to see how seriously he took his game. Maxie scanned the room, trying to find something that might distract him. A digital camera lay on his desk. She got an idea.

Peeling herself away from him so as not to sidetrack him just yet, Maxie slunk over to the desk causally, snatching up the camera. Turning the power on, Maxie zoomed the lens in close to his face, the camera flash popping and startling him enough so that he jumped.

"Hey!" Spinelli declared, putting his hand up in front of his face. "You'll steal my spirit if you take my picture!" Maxie laughed, crawling back onto the bed, the camera still focused on him.

"I just realized I'm having your baby but I don't even have a picture of you," she explained, taking another snapshot. He was blushing now from all the attention, pulling his beanie down over his face. Maxie yanked it off his head and took a third picture, this one freezing his static prone hair standing on end.

"Maxie…" Spinelli grumbled, pouting a little.

"Come on, Spin. One good picture."

Spinelli sighed, closing both of his eyes and sticking out his tongue. She took the picture out of stubbornness. While his eyes were still closed, Maxie scooted close to him. She wrapped an arm around him, holding the camera in front of the both of them. Spinelli quickly reacted to their closeness, first glancing at the camera and then at her, just as the flash went off. Maxie spun the camera back around to see the screen. The picture she'd managed to take quickly took her breath away, but she hoped Spinelli didn't notice. In the camera's screen were two people she didn't know, some sort of loving couple, a pretty blonde with a glowing smile and smart looking man looking at her adoringly. Maxie wondered if they always looked like that.

"See, there you go." Spinelli muttered, looking over her shoulder at the image. "That's a good picture."

Maxie had the picture framed a few days later, putting it on her bedside table. That way, she was able to ponder about what it meant every night when she went to sleep.

**SIX**

Her life started to be invaded by sticky notes. Green, pink, and soft yellow pieces of paper followed her throughout her day. She found them in her purse, attached to the window of her car, even stuck to the inside of her jacket.

"Ignore the witches at work; I'm hacking into their bank records."

"Call me if you're bored."

"Smile."

"I missed seeing you yesterday."

"Did you remember your vitamins?"

Those were just a few examples of the things that were written on the notes. Maxie started looking forward to stumbling upon the notes in their strange hiding places. It was like treasure hunting every day, some priceless little thought from her strange partner in crime finding its way into her mind for the day. Sometimes it was the highlight of her day, especially if Maxie didn't get a chance to see Spinelli at all.

Today's note was wrapped around a daisy looped around the door handle to her car. Her heart fluttered at the sight of it, surprised that something as cheesy as a flower was melting her. Something was changing in her, she couldn't ignore it. Unwrapping the pink sticky note from the stem of the flower, Maxie wondered what Spinelli's wise words of the day would be.

"Ten days to go!" The scratchy handwriting exclaimed back at her. For a moment Maxie was confused, unable to figure out what that meant. Then it dawned on her. Time had flown by; it was almost time for her next ultrasound, the one that would tell them if they were having a Maxelli or a Spixie. Chuckling, Maxie opened her car and flopped into the front seat. She gently placed the daisy on the dash of her car, keeping it in her view during her drive to work.

**SEVEN**

"Hello?" Spinelli groggily answered her call. Maxie looked around in the dark of her room for her clock, not realizing that it was almost midnight.

"I'm sorry…you were asleep weren't you?"

"Mmmhmm…"

"I didn't mean to wake you…I was just too excited and I wanted to tell you--"

"Tell me what?" Spinelli interrupted, suddenly sounding more awake. Maxie smiled at the eagerness in his voice.

"Spin…It moved." She paused, waiting for him to register what she said.

"What?"

"The baby. I felt it…like…flutter." There was a silence on the other end of the phone. For a second Maxie thought that Spinelli might have fallen back to sleep.

"It…it moved?"

"Yeah, for just a moment…I wish you could have felt it…it was so strange."

"The Jackal missed out." There was a sort of sadness to his voice. That hadn't been her intention at all, she just wanted to make him happy.

"Well, you'll get a chance to feel it, I promise." She assured him, rubbing the round bump under her nightgown. "You hear that, Maxelli? You have to show your new trick to Spin."

Maxie heard Spinelli laugh on the other end of the line, sending shivers down her back. Why was he making her feel like that? She glanced over at the bedside table at the picture of her and Spinelli. Next to it was an empty orange soda bottle that he'd left at her house one of the days he'd brought her lunch. It was filled with water now, the daisy he'd left her floating in it. All of the illegally downloaded movies he'd burned for her were stacked up on the table too. Her collection of notes was growing taller, her favorite about how Spinelli would be hacking into the bank accounts of the horrible women she worked with taped to her lampshade. Her latest ultrasound leaned against the makeshift vase, her souvenir looking back at her in the night.

Spinelli had begun to crowd her bedside table with trinkets and memories, each one representing a moment that she wouldn't trade for anything, even the ones that had caused her tears. Maxie didn't know what to think about the sudden flip-flop of her stomach. He told her to not hate herself and always tried to keep her safe. Spinelli might not have said it yet, but he was freely giving her his heart, even offering her every tomorrow he had. His adoration could be seen in a photo, a note, in the simple innocence that could be found in his every word to her.

Why was she not acting on this?

"Maxie? You still there?"

"Yeah, Spin. I'm here. Let's hang out tomorrow after I go to work, okay?"

"Okay, see you then, Sassy Max."

"Goodnight, Spin."

Once she saw him, she would know.

----

**A/N: Enjoy the fluff while it lasts…there will be only one more chapter of happy good times until I drop the next plot twist.**

**GUYS…Are you SICK of Spinelli getting ****put on the backburner in relationships? Tired of seeing abusive men (****coughCrabbyCommandocough****) get the girl? Love the potential of ****Spinmax? ****Any or all of the above?**

**THEN PLEASE, BEFORE WE LOSE THIS CHANCE, GET IN CONTACT WITH GENERAL HOSPITAL EVERYDAY SPINELLI OR MAXIE ARE ON AND TELL THE POWERS THAT BE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEIR CHEMISTRY. **

**GH Comment Line ****323-671-****4583 (**** You have 30 seconds to speak, BE POSITIVE. Bradford and Kristen are begging us to support this pairing.)**

**DONT FORGET TO WRITE!! **

**Jill ****Ferren**** Phelps/Brian ****Frons****/Robert ****Guza**** (pick one, pick all, ****write**** them!)**

**General Hospital**

**c/o ABC - TV****4151 Prospect Avenue**

**Hollywood, CA 90027**

**I don't want to see another great thing slip through our hands. Join the Spinelli GH ****livejournal**** or Opposite Attraction message board for more information on how you can help save such insanity from happening. We can't be complacent. We must be loud. **

**NEXT CHAPTER: Maxie gets all the confirmation she needs…but will it be too late?**


	14. Proof

**The Luckiest **

**Chapter 14: Proof**

Spinelli smiled when he heard the gentle tapping on his door, a little confused as to why Maxie wouldn't just barge in like she usually did. Looking up from the screen of his laptop, Spinelli took in the sight of her standing in his doorway, wearing a yellow sundress that made Maxie look like a delicate flower, his heart doing a quick fall into his stomach. Her expression was strange, he couldn't read it at all. Spinelli wondered if she'd had another bad day at work, but her face wasn't really pinched in anger or hostility. She just looked…different.

"Hey Spin," Maxie said quietly, making her way over to him. Her voice was weak, something was wrong. Spinelli shoved his laptop out of the way and scooted over the edge of his bed. Maxie sat down heavily next to him, kicking her flats off. Up close Spinelli could see just how tired she looked.

"Sassy Max, what's wrong?"

"I'm just exhausted, Spin. I knew if I saw you, though, I'd feel better." Maxie wrapped an arm around him, laying her head on his shoulder. He tentatively brought her in close, always waiting for her to push him away, always surprised when she didn't .

"If you're so exhausted, why did you make the grievous journey over here? The Jackal of course doesn't abhor your presence by any means, but you could've already been home and resting peacefully by now." Maxie was quiet for a moment. She was acting very peculiarly. Spinelli didn't buy that it was pure exhaustion that fueled her mood at the moment. He wondered whether or not some of the women at her work had been bothering her again.

"I told you we would, you know…hang out tonight." Maxie muttered, squeezing him a little tighter. Spinelli felt selfishly giddy at the thought that she'd trekked across town just to see him, even if everything else told her to go home. They were strange, he realized suddenly. Spinelli could hold her like a lover, call her the mother of his child, spend more time with her than most married couples, and yet the only thing that was keeping him from kissing her right then and there were three little words that kept her gated and enclosed away from him. He'd already fallen, that was for sure, but to just tell her that he loved her was scarier than any fearful thought he had about the pregnancy. One day it might slip out, and Spinelli silently wished that it would, but until then he would simply hold her.

"Max, you're not telling me something."

She laughed quickly, a tense shudder falling through her body. He felt her jerk a little in his arms. Spinelli was officially alarmed now. Spinelli loosened his grip on her, tilting so that he could see her face, wanting to desperately know what was wrong. He was shocked to see a small grin forming at the corners of her mouth. As always, Maxie was an enigma. Her blue gaze looked up at him, playing games with his mind. The eyes were supposed to be windows to the soul, but Maxie put up blinds, making sure you could only read from her what you could see through the slits.

"I'm just busy thinking about a lot of things, Spinelli."

He decided not to pry any further. She began to untangle herself from him, leaving him cold spots where she had been. Maxie sat up properly, sighing a little, straightening her hair with her fingertips. Pulling herself all the way onto his bed, Maxie quickly lay back and snuggled into his pillows. She pulled his laptop towards her, typing away with one hand. Maxie was probably going to some of her celebrity gossip websites. Spinelli had been sure to bookmark a few of them into a folder just for her, enjoying the idea of her having a little place on his computer.

While her focus was on the computer screen, Spinelli scooted closer towards her, his eyes trailing over her body greedily. His gaze traced the curls of her neck and shoulders, the yellow sundress shaping perfectly over her curvature in her back, flowing down to her knees where two delicate stems clashed palely against the dark bedspread. Just as the goose bumps started forming on his arms, Spinelli's gaze rested on the ever-growing hill rising underneath her clothing.

His hand outstretched and rested on the bump before he could stop himself, forgetting that he couldn't just touch Maxie whenever he wanted to. She didn't look up from the screen that she was reading intently, but she did reach down and lay her hand on top of his.

"It hasn't moved today…"

Spinelli felt a disappointed. He hadn't got the chance to feel the baby move yet, something that he'd been looking forward to experiencing.

"You should talk to it," Maxie said matter-of-factly, gently rubbing her fingertips over his knuckles. "Maybe it will answer you."

Spinelli felt a little odd, but he took Maxie up on her suggestion. Lying down on the bed, eyelevel with Maxie's stomach, Spinelli rested his head against his arm, trying to think of something to say.

"Um…hello Maxelli." Spinelli murmured, feeling a little silly, but in a good way. "I'm…well, I'm your…your dad. Nice to meet you."

Maxie's stomach shook as she chuckled. Spinelli continued, grinning as well. "Well, I'm The Jackal, assassin of the internet, the ace of cyberspace."

"This kid's first words are going to be 'high speed internet', I can see it now." Maxie shook her head, reaching down a hand to run her fingers through his hair. He fought off a quick shiver and tried to concentrate at the task at hand.

"Well, Maxelli, you already know your mom. Who else should you know…" Spinelli rested his hand on her stomach again, hoping to feel some sort of a faint fluttering any moment. "Umm…Let's see…Stone Cold! Yes! Stone Cold. Uncle Stone Cold makes me cooler by association. He works for the Godfather, but out of respect we refer to him as Mr. Corinthos, Sir. And then there is Aunt Lulu aka the Blonde One."

"Lulu isn't the aunt of anything." Maxie added sharply, closing the lid of his laptop. She curled around a pillow and closed her eyes, just listening to him now. Spinelli noted a weakened amount of animosity in her voice towards Lulu, perhaps she was lightening up about the subject. He couldn't ever see them as friends, but maybe allies. That would take time though.

"Oh, and then there is the Crabby Commando, whom with you shall not associate."

"You're cracking me up Spinelli." Maxie laughed quietly.

Spinelli could hear the sleep in her voice, so he spoke quieter. "Seven days, Maxelli, and we're going to find out that I've been correct since day one."

"I'm going to laugh when Dr. Lee says, 'it's a girl'."

Spinelli tried to picture a girl and found it impossible. He wasn't opposed to the idea, but when he thought about the baby this one particular image came to mind, the little face that with the big blue eyes and the messy dark hair. It has stuck with him for months now, but Spinelli had to admit how hysterical it would be if it turned out this entire time he's been wrong.

Petting the roundness beneath the yellow cloth, Spinelli couldn't think of anything else to say. He felt his own eyelids growing heavy, a peaceful warmth traveling through him. Spinelli probably would've fallen asleep too, if it wasn't for a swift sensation traveling along his palm. Very awake now, Spinelli's hand froze on the spot of the fluttering motion. A few seconds and it was gone.

"Maxie!" Spinelli sat up quickly, trying to figure out if he'd imagined it. Maxie was asleep though. He was ecstatic but he didn't want to wake her up. Pressing a hand over his mouth, Spinelli suppressed his laughter. He needed to tell someone. Gently pushing himself off the bed, Spinelli was almost out the door before he realized that Maxie was probably going to be sleeping at his place. He paused, a hand on the door knob, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't sleep with her all night…

Tiptoeing back over the bed, Spinelli folded the bedspread over her so that she wouldn't be cold, snatching up a pillow for himself. Switching off the light in the room, quietly left his regrettably pink room and made a mad dash down the stairs for the glowing light of the living room.

Jason was at his desk, talking on his cell phone. Spinelli was bouncing on his heels, unable to keep the excitement hushed anymore. Jason raised a hand signaling that he needed a moment. Bounding over to the couch, Spinelli tossed his pillow onto one side and flopped down on the cushions, his legs tapping furiously against the floor from anticipation. Jason rolled his eyes at him as he hung up the phone.

"Okay, Spinelli. What are you so excited about."

"I felt the baby move!"

"Congrats, Spinelli," Jason gave a small laugh, one of his rare expressions of emotion. It didn't need to be much, Spinelli would take it any show of happiness from Jason. "Is Maxie coming down?"

"Nope. She's sleeping upstairs." Spinelli kicked off his sneakers, adjusting the pillows on the couch to make a bed for the night. Looking up from his work, Jason was watching him oddly.

"So…you're camping down here?" Jason questioned.

"Uh. Indeed."

"Spinelli…" Burying his face in one of his hands, Jason looked as if he might actually be smiling.

"What?"

"The chivalry on your part…it just seems a little unnecessary. Maxie is always over here, I know, even when I don't physically see her walk through the door like she owns the place. You're always giddier when I come back, and I know she's been around. Aren't you dating her by now?"

Spinelli sputtered, flabbergasted. "No…Maxie and I aren't…uh…well, I don't know what we are."

"Well, do you want to be dating her?" Jason asked.

His heart raced at the memory of his nightmare, the girl in the pretty red dress lying broken on the ground, taken from him forever. Then there was the image of the delicate flower sleeping in his bed at that very moment, peaceful and alive, a secret tucked away. _Did he want to be dating her? _

"Stone Cold, I'm in love with her." The words burst from him as if they'd been desperately waiting for an escape from a terrible prison. It felt amazing to just admit it.

----

Maxie awoke with a start, her arm reaching out across the bed for some warm body that wasn't there. Lifting up a little, she tried to register where she was. The dark room came into focus, all of Spinelli's things coming into view. He wasn't there though. Slipping out of the bed, Maxie headed out the door to the living room, hearing voices rumbling. As the stairs came into view, Maxie spotted Jason sitting at his office desk, staring intently across the room.

"She drives me crazy, Stone Cold," Maxie heard Spinelli's voice but couldn't see him. Stopping a few stairs down, Maxie paused to eavesdrop. She felt a little wicked, sneaking up on their conversation, but something told her to pause. Who drove Spinelli crazy?

"I can't go through a day without considering her or wondering what she's doing. And when she's around? Forget it. I am but a puppet at her disposal. To simply place a smile on her glowing face makes me happy for days."

Spinelli was talking about her. Maxie felt her breath catch in her throat. Gripping the railing of the stairs, she steadied herself. Jason glanced over towards he stares and saw her standing there. For a moment, Maxie thought he would say something to stop Spinelli from confessing more. She could almost see him thinking out how to handle the situation. Maxie had to hear more, Spinelli wouldn't ever say this to her, she was sure of it. This might be her only opportunity to know for sure, so she prayed Jason wouldn't blow her cover.

Jason opened his mouth to speak, leaning back casually in his chair. "Spinelli, why don't you just tell Maxie all of this?"

_Yes, Spinelli, why don't you just tell me this?_Jason seemed to be giving her permission to stay listening in. Risking giving herself away by treading on a squeaking stair, Maxie claimed a few more steps hoping to hear him better. Resting against the wall, Maxie pressed a hand over her own mouth so that her breathing wouldn't be heard. If Jason wasn't going to call her out Maxie had to take advantage of the situation.

"Because…" Spinelli began, and she could hear the seriousness of his tone. "I don't want her to think that I'm just transferring feelings about the baby onto her. It's not that, at all, but I know she'll think that. And I don't want to add stress to this situation. She doesn't need that." Always looking out for her, never himself. Maxie shook her head, trying to fathom it all. Spinelli thought she wouldn't believe his feelings were genuine? He'd never been anything but completely honest with her, this was the first thing that he'd kept from her.

"And then I think, why don't you just go for it? Throw caution to the metaphoric wind and just say the words 'Maxie Jones, I am in love with you'." Jason made a fleeting glance at her. Maxie darted her eyes all over the staircase, looking for some hint that this was really happening.

"Why do I stop myself? Because right now she comes around to see me, she calls me, she lets me hold her, even if it's on friendly terms." Spinelli was speaking very quickly now, probably not even really aware of what he was saying. "If I tell her how I feel and it freaks her out I'll lose that, Stone Cold. And so…I guess I'd rather suffer with her than be put behind a barrier that will deny me that warm light that I've grown accustomed to." Spinelli finished, sighing heavily. Maxie wished she could see his face just to convince herself that this wasn't some big joke.

Jason was looking at the ground now, almost sadly. "That isn't a way to live, Spinelli. You can't be happy that way." It touched Maxie how much Jason really cared for Spinelli. Maybe he could knock some sense into him.

"Well…The Jackal can be almost happy, then." Maxie felt her vision getting blurry as she listened to her very dear friend cave into himself again. She had to press another hand to her face so that her sob wouldn't escape. Jason looked at her blatantly this time, his expression telling her that this was all her burden now. Maxie inched back up the stairs to Spinelli's room, back into the darkness, the place where she didn't wake up with him beside her.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Maxie tried to contemplate what to do. It wasn't fair that he had to bottle all of that out of fear of losing her. He never invaded her space, though, that was his nature. In fact, she was always the initiator in their relationship, wasn't she? This would be on her.

Maxie had told herself that when she walked into Spinelli's room that evening she would know whether or not the feelings she'd started to recognize for him were real. Upon seeing him, they'd all become very, very real indeed. He was her smile at the end of the day, a shoulder to lean on, everything that made the present sweeter.

She'd told him that she was tired, exhausted, confused…all true statements…but it wasn't from stress at work or anything else. She was just tired of suppressing it all. Spinelli had been like this for months now, she realized. He must have been even more fatigued than she was.

But what to do about it? Rush down the stairs and jump into his arms like some Hollywood romance? Blurt it out the words "Spin, I think I've fallen for you," awkwardly over lunch? Maxie couldn't understand his fear about telling her the truth back at the stairs, but now she was just as frightened. No, she had to do this right. Some quick planning would be in order, because she had to tell him soon, otherwise she'd lose her nerve.

He shouldn't have to be 'almost happy' for another day. Maxie felt her heart quicken at the thought of what this would mean, what it would change. Falling back onto the bed, Maxie realized she didn't care about either question, she just wanted to kiss Spinelli and see the look of shock on his face. Hell, she just wanted to kiss Spinelli. Pulling a pillow over to her, Maxie buried her face in it, giggling childishly.

Spinelli was babysitting Michael and Morgan the next afternoon, and she'd already promised Epiphany to volunteer at the hospital for a few hours…But Maxie could invite him over for dinner, spend the evening with him, find the right instant to wrap herself around him and whisper in his ear something lovely that would come to her in the moment, watch his pale cheeks flush red when he realized she wanted him back. It could, maybe, be perfect.

Tomorrow. She'd tell him tomorrow.

----

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I see that you guys like your fluff. ****Chapter 15 will be easy to write because I've been planning it for so long now, so it should be out sooner than most chapters. Make your last minute predictions in a review for what's about to happen, and if you're right you get to do a ****'****called it****'**** dance! **

**Keep calling the comment line expressing your support for Spinelli! Now that the strike is over our boy needs all the support he can get in order to not be swept under the rug. **

**If you aren't reading Sometimes ****It's**** Everything by ****soulache**** you are insane. **

**Next Chapter: Plot ****twist**** number two. Finish this Maroon 5 lyric: "Is there anyone out there…"**


	15. Red

**The Luckiest **

**Chapter 15: ****Red**

_**Author's Note: This chapter is graphic. **_

Spinelli watched as the thin spray of blood began traveling down the wall. It mesmerized him, the way it shimmered, single rubies clumping together, little rivers running downstream. It looked like the beginning of a Jackson Pollock painting, something to hang in a gallery and debate its meaning.

A warmth was leaking down the front of his chest, the same sensation tickling his back. Spinelli looked down at his clothes as the red stain started growing bigger and bigger. Jason's voice rang sharply through the air. Glancing up, Spinelli gave his mentor a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry. It doesn't even hurt that bad."

But as soon as he said the words, the air rushed through his body, muscles stretched and clenched, and the pain that had so far been quiet exploded in his chest. Shuddering at the overwhelming power of it all, Spinelli felt his knees quake beneath him. He bobbled on the spot, desperate for something to cling onto, his hand outstretched in the air, grasping at nothing. As the floor made its way to greet him, Spinelli couldn't help but realize he wouldn't be seeing Maxie that night after all.

* * *

**Earlier that day…**

* * *

"Mr. Jackal, there's a girl outside the window." Spinelli craned his neck over the cushions of Carly's living room couch to look in the direction where Morgan was pointing. He couldn't help but smile when he realized that Maxie's big blue eyes were peaking in through the glass at him. She tapped on the window, grinning big, practically glowing with happiness. Spinelli hopped up from the couch quickly to let her in. 

Swinging the door open, Spinelli was instantly crushed by Maxie in a tight embrace. He took advantage of their closeness, shutting his eyes so that he could just appreciate the gentle beating of her heart against his chest, the round bump that was their baby pressing into his abdomen. Every moment with Maxie was starting to feel more and more like home, something he'd never known before. He didn't want to let her go.

"Why has Sassy Maxie decided to grace me with her lovely presence this afternoon?" He spoke into hair, hoping she wouldn't pull away from him any time soon. Thankfully, and strangely, she didn't.

"Does a girl need a reason to see her baby daddy?"

Spinelli sputtered out a laugh. "That's horrible. I prefer to be known as The Jackal. "

Maxie chuckled too. "I know…"

Untangling herself from him, Maxie smoothed down the front of his shirt and quickly straightened his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. She did this sort of stuff all the time, quickly fixing him up. Spinelli supposed that since she didn't want him to change his style that perhaps she was settling on simply making sure he looked his best in whatever he chose to wear. Finishing her quick adjustment, Maxie took a step back out onto the porch.

"Wait, where are you off to? You just got here," Spinelli was confused.

Maxie smiled. "I'm going to go volunteer at the hospital today…make myself feel like a good person." Spinelli gave Maxie a look but didn't press the subject. Maxie said things like that too much. He didn't know if he would ever convince her that she was not a bad person.

"Okay…but why the quick stop to the Valkyrie's residence?"

"I just…" Maxie began, tugging on key necklace that he'd bought for her months ago. "I wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. I have an odd craving for macaroni and cheese." Maxie smirked a little, amused at something.

"Of course! Consider The Jackal you're date for the evening." Spinelli quickly regretted wording it like that. Maxie didn't look uncomfortable. In fact, she grinned at him.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

She paused for a moment, looking as if she were debating something internally. Spinelli was suspicious…she was up to something. Before he could question her further, Maxie quickly kissed him on the cheek and turned away from him, walking swiftly back down the pathway to her car.

"See ya later, Spin!" She called over her shoulder. He paused in the doorway, just watching her figure, already missing the cadence of her voice.

"Mr. Spinelli, Morgan just spilt a carton of milk all over the kitchen floor." Spinelli was jarred out of his slightly lustful thoughts by a reminder of his babysitting duties.

"All right, Mikey, let's go handle that."

Spinelli traipsed into the kitchen to see what damage had been done. Morgan was standing in the middle of a giant lake of milk. It surrounded him, he really had no exit. Spinelli couldn't help but laugh at the look of total confusion on his face. Stretching out both arms, Spinelli yanked Morgan out and over the mess.

"I'm sorry," Morgan said once he was safely away from the dreaded puddle. Spinelli felt his heart breaking at the complete innocence in the child's voice.

"No Prob, young Mo. Go play, all right?"

Spinelli found a mop and bucket in a closet and began cleaning up the mess, resisting the urge to whistle because it would take away any manly points he'd earned for the day. Once the milk was all soaked up from the floor, Spinelli took the mop bucket to the sink to pour it out.

He glanced out the window over the sink and quickly did a double take. Spinelli saw a figure move out in the woods behind Carly's house. The bucket slipped out of his hands and clanged onto the ground, sounding as loudly as Spinelli's heart began racing. Someone had been standing just beyond the fence, dressed in black, lurking outside the house.

"What happened?" Michael bounded into the room, startled looking. Spinelli tried to think quickly so that he didn't panic him.

"Oh, Just dropped the bucket, Mike. Sorry…didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh. Wow. It was just really loud."

Spinelli looked out the glass again, shutting off the sink. "Hey, Mikey, listen…I need to make a phone call…it's kind of personal…think you could go upstairs and play with your brother?"

Michael looked at him strangely. Maybe Spinelli wasn't very good at hiding his new fear. Putting a fake grin on his face, Spinelli started moving out into the living room, ushering Michael upstairs. Michael didn't resist, but just kept looking back at him the whole way. The redhead stared down at him skeptically from the top of the stairs. Spinelli just waved at him a little and pulled out his cell phone.

"Fine, Mike…if you want to hear me talking to my girlfriend then stick around."

"You've never called your girlfriend before. Is something wrong?"

Spinelli shook his head vigorously. "No, nope, nothing's wrong. Go play." He put some finality in his tone, and Michael turned the corner out of his view.

Dialing Jason, Spinelli quickly prayed that he'd answer.

"Spinelli?"

Sighing with relief, Spinelli spoke quickly. "Stone Cold, I believe that I just saw someone standing out in the woods behind the Valkylrie's home, wearing all black, most intimidating."

"Are you sure?"

"Most definitely. Could you or one of the protectors of the night come check it out? I'd go investigate myself but I don't want to leave the young godprinces alone in the house."

"Don't worry about it, I'm close by actually. Don't go outside, don't let the kids know anything is wrong."

"I'm sorry, Stone Cold…I just want to be sure, you know?"

"No, you did good by calling me. Max is actually driving me to the office right now, we'll swing buy. It won't take five minutes."

Spinelli inched towards the front door, peaking out the glass. Just as he pressed his face against the small window in order to see as much as he could, Spinelli saw a figure turn the corner on the porch out of sight.

"Jason, he was just in my sight."

"You saw him again?"

"Yes."

"Max, speed up. We need to get to Carly's." Jason demanded firmly. "Spinelli, we're going to be there any minute, alright?"

"Okay, yes." Spinelli took a few steps backwards from the door. Jason's call ended and Spinelli flung the phone back in his pocket. He paced the floor quickly trying to think of something to do. In the storage closet where he'd found the mop and broom Spinelli had seen a baseball bat as well. Running to the closet, Spinelli flung it open in a fury and snatched up the bat. He didn't know if this guy was carrying some sort of weapon, and a bat probably couldn't do much, but Spinelli knew he had to protect himself.

"Why do you have a bat?"

Spinelli jumped about three feet in the air. Michael was peaking at him from behind a doorframe.

"Micheal," Spinelli began, frustrated. "You need to go back upstairs, now."

He seemed to understand that Spinelli was giving a command and not just a mere suggestion. A light glowed quickly behind his eyes, and Spinelli was sure that he'd just terrified the kid. Michael made a quick dart back up to his room. Leaning against the doorframe, Spinelli tried to calm himself down. This wasn't a time to get out of control. Wasn't this exactly what being a father was about? Knowing how to handle stressful situations?

Jason would surely be there any moment. He just needed to keep a cool head until then. Taking smooth calculated steps back into the living room, Spinelli found a little more focus on the task at hand. He paused by the couch, tapping the baseball bat against the ground, each beat going in rhythm with his own heart.

Just as he was finding a sort of Zen, Michael walked down the stairs, taking two at a time. He must not have realized that Spinelli was standing right there, because he went for the front door.

"Where are you going?" Spinelli demanded. Michael spun around, his grip on the door handle slipping. Spinelli registered the flush in the child's cheeks, but mostly the determination in his eyes.

"I heard you talking to Jason. Someone's outside." Michael said this emptily. Spinelli was completely taken aback. Did Michael really think he could go up against some sort of dark figure, a little kid versus a grown thug?

"Michael, what were you thinking? You can't even defend yourself!" Spinelli made a movement towards the child, resisting the urge to literally knock some sense into him. He froze when Michael revealed a pistol in his other hand. Spinelli hadn't even registered he'd been holding one during their entire confrontation. The bat slipped from his hand, snapping on the ground.

Michael looked from the gun to Spinelli. "I have protection, no one is going to hurt my family."

"Mike…where did you get the gun?" Spinelli brought his hands up into the air defensively, feeling as though he were a hostage.

"I bought it." Michael replied matter-of-factly. He weighed the gun in his hand.

Taking a few steps towards him, Spinelli demanded for the gun. "Michael, give it to me. You don't even know how to use it, I can't believe this--"

But Michael interrupted. "I know how to use it, all you have to do is cock it like this."

Michael started maneuvering the gun around, and Spinelli made a move towards him. This kid was going to get himself shot. How the hell had he been able to get a gun? Spinelli's mind was racing. When Michael realized that Spinelli was coming closer his eyes bugged out of his head, still messing with the gun.

"Give me the gun, Michael!" Spinelli insisted. Michael just took another step backward. He didn't realize that he was backing right into the front door, just as Jason swung it open. The door simply grazed his back, but Michael jumped at its touch.

It sounded like the Fourth of July, a quick explosion at a barbeque as someone's overzealous uncle fired off another rocket into the night. The bitter smell of gunpowder met his nose, a little revolting as is clashed with the scents of various fresh flowers that Carly kept in the house.

Michael stood frozen in his spot, mouth agape. Jason and Max were only halfway in the doorway, both of their gazes falling just over Spinelli's shoulder. Spinelli didn't understand. Where had the bullet gone? Spinning around, he looked behind him where everyone else's focus was.

That was when he saw the blood on the wall.

Spinelli watched as the thin spray of red began traveling down the wall. It mesmerized him, the way it shimmered, single rubies clumping together, little rivers running downstream. It looked like the beginning of a Jackson Pollock painting, something to hang in a gallery and debate its meaning.

A warmth was leaking down the front of his chest, the same sensation tickling his back. Spinelli looked down at his clothes as the red stain started growing bigger and bigger. Jason's voice rang sharply through the air. Glancing up, Spinelli gave his mentor a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry. It doesn't even hurt that bad."

But as soon as he said the words, the air rushed through his body, muscles stretched and clenched, and the pain that had so far been quiet exploded in his chest. Shuddering at the overwhelming power of it all, Spinelli felt his knees quake beneath him. He bobbled on the spot, desperate for something to cling onto, his hand outstretched in the air, grasping at nothing. His fingers just swished through the air. As the floor made its way to greet him, Spinelli couldn't help but realize he wouldn't be seeing Maxie that night after all.

Before he hit the ground, he felt a strong arm grab him around the waist. Spinelli clutched at the figure, desperate to not sink down, down, down. He dug his fingers into a leather jacket and felt safe knowing Jason had caught him.

"Max, get the gun away from Michael. Get him upstairs, don't let the boys come down. Call a paramedic." Jason delivered the orders and Spinelli could hear movement, though clinging to Jason meant that he couldn't see much. Jason gently began to lower Spinelli to the ground, every slight movement sending electricity through his body.

"I lied…it hurts so bad." Spinelli stared up at his friend, desperate for him to understand. Jason's eyes were raking over him, assessing the situation. Spinelli couldn't read him.

"Spinelli," Jason finally spoke. "You have to stay calm." There was something to his voice that set Spinelli's nerves on edge. He sucked in air, bringing on more pain than oxygen. Spinelli scratched at his face with one hand, clawing for his throat to give him more air with the other. Jason pulled his hands away, pinning them down quickly so he wouldn't hurt himself.

"I can't breathe…" Spinelli tried to explain. Jason disregarded him but relinquished his grip. Jason started tugging at Spinelli's shirt, cringing a little when he raised it enough see the bullet wound.

"Stay steady…" Jason started rolling up the shirt, but Spinelli realized that would mean that he would see the gaping hole. Shuddering with another deep breath, Spinelli tried to push Jason off of him. Didn't he understand? If he saw it everything would be real.

"No, please, I don't want to see it." He fought Jason, trying to push the shirt back down over his chest. Jason was stronger, of course, and ignored him. He was in hero mode, it was sure.

"I have to see what were dealing with, Spinelli!" Spinelli watched helplessly as his friend revealed the wound completely, cold air hitting him, adding to the discomfort. The warmth that had been traveling down his side was now free to move even quicker down his side. It tickled as it traveled out onto his skin.

Spinelli watched Jason intently, picking up on the sudden paling to his face, the quick sigh, a short glance away from the wound. He made a motion to stand, but Spinelli snatched the front of his shirt.

"No, no…where are you going?" Spinelli hated how pathetic his voice sounded, but was willing to sacrifice his embarrassment as long as Jason didn't leave him. Jason started to pull at the hand clutching his clothing.

"I have to get something to slow the bleeding." Jason replied, untangling his grip.

"Please, Stone Cold," Spinelli took in a deep breath, feeling the blood leak out some more. "Please don't leave me alone." Jason seemed to react to the nickname but didn't relent.

"Spinelli, I'll be right back, I'm just going to the hall bathroom. Focus on staying awake."

And then he was gone. Spinelli had to sit there staring at the ceiling fan as each agonizing breath drew him further and further down. The pain was unbearable. He dug his nails into the carpet, desperate for something to cling to. Ripping fibers out of the carpet, Spinelli then raked his nails along the ground, his fingertips sinking into a puddle at his side. Lifting his hand from the ground, Spinelli gazed at the red tips. His breathing quickened, which was even worse than before. _Don't panic, don't panic_. Spinelli noticed that with every breath a wheezing noise accentuated it.

Spinelli craned his head up a little off the ground, daring to look at the wound. Every time he exhaled the strange whistling escaped the injury, bubbles forming on the surface layer of the blood. Jason's footsteps grew nearer and he was back at his side. When he saw what Spinelli was looking at, Jason hesitated.

"I'm bubbling…" Spinelli explained.

"Don't start panicking, Spinelli." Jason went back into his mode, tucking a towel under the exit wound coming out of Spinelli's back. Another towel was pressed his chest, Jason holding it down over the wound. He didn't speak anymore.

Spinelli tried to concentrate on breathing, watching the ceiling fan spin around and around. A horrible sensation traveled through his throat and lungs. A cough escaped him, the pain so agonizing his back arced off the ground. Jason actually winced. Suddenly, a taste of pennies entered his mouth. Spinelli raise a hand to his tongue, swiveling the pink spittle around on the tips of his fingers. He was coughing up blood…

Looking at Jason directly in the eyes, Spinelli confessed. "I don't want to die, Stone Cold."

Jason shook his head furiously. "Spinelli, you aren't going to die."

Didn't he get it? He was coughing up blood! Feeling a few tears stinging in his eyes, Spinelli realized how much he had to live for. The pretty blonde in the red dress, the little bump under her clothing, his strange little family. With ever breath he could feel them inching away from him.

"I wanted to meet my kid…" Spinelli sputtered.

"You're going to," Jason replied firmly. Spinelli tried to picture how Maxie would get along without him, raising their son or daughter on her own. He loved her so much. It wasn't fair…this wasn't fair at all. Spinelli rested a hand on Jason's arm, trying to get his attention.

"You'll look out for them, right?" Sucking in air sharply, Spinelli found it difficult to form the words, not even wanting to ask. "…Maxie and the baby."

"I won't need to." Jason refused to promise him anything. "You're going to be okay."

The speaking had triggered another itch in his throat. Spinelli didn't know if he would make it through another cough, still reeling from the last one. Spinelli grabbed at his hair, trying to swallow the sensation, but it only got stronger.

"I have to cough." He warned Jason.

"No, Spinelli, don't…Try not to…" Spinelli couldn't do as his master asked, another cough ripping through his chest, setting his nerves on fire. He gasped for life, tugging at his hair to distract from the pain. Once again the taste of copper flooded his mouth.

"Oh god…" A shudder floated through his body. "This is bad…this is so bad…"

"Save your energy, Spinelli, don't talk too much."

"Okay…"

He lay there watching the spinning fan, his body quivering more and more. Maxie and the baby, stay strong for them. It didn't help, and he found himself clinging to memories of her out of a desperate fear that they would be the last thoughts that raced through his mind. They were going to find out if it was a boy or a girl in six days. Slipping…slipping.

"Wait, Spinelli, come back," Jason snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Focus, Spinelli. Talk to me if you can, if it helps you stay awake."

Spinelli, somehow, found that funny. "You want… me to talk… now that I'm d-dying…"

"You're not going to die, Spinelli…"

"It's...getting h-harder…to…b-breathe." He explained, teeth chattering.

"Just hold on for the paramedics." Jason's voice was so different from the normal Stone Cold. Spinelli wondered what he was thinking. Jason yanked a throw pillow off the couch and placed it under Spinelli's head. Carly would be pissed once she saw the state of her living room. Blood on the walls, her carpet, the pillows, and of course her towels.

His heart sank when he saw that Jason's hands were red…the blood had soaked through the towel. Jason kept applying pressure to the wound, and Spinelli kept feeling like he was sinking. His shuddering grew worse.

"I'm…c-c-cold."

Spinelli spit the words out, not wanting to know what they meant. Jason paused for a second and looked around for something, not finding it. He quickly shrugged off his leather jacket, draping it over Spinelli's body.

"I really…like… this j-j-jacket. I don't want to get… b-blood all over it."

"Don't worry about the blood..."

"I need…" Spinelli began, having to pause for a breath. "…a jacket like this."

"Tell you what, you stay conscious until we can get you the hospital and I'll make sure you get one."

"Make sure… they… bury me in it." Spinelli's body jerked. He was exhausted. It would be so good just to go to sleep. He'd been tired his entire life, all he wanted to do now was rest. Every breath was so thick and heavy now, weighing him down.

Maxie…he loved her so much. He could remember her heartbeat against his...

"Spinelli…" Jason waved a hand over his face, but Spinelli just blinked at him.

Spinelli could hear the front door open. A beating against the floor told him that people were entering the house. The paramedics had finally arrived. Spinelli wondered how long he'd been lying there, because it seemed like many lifetimes. It had probably only been minutes.

"Over here." Jason called. A man came into his view, shining a little flashlight in his eyes.

"Good, he's still conscious. Not in shock yet."

Jason stood and moved out of the paramedic's way, but didn't get out of Spinelli's range of view. His friend hovered over the scene, arms crossed, not giving away much emotion. The paramedics started stirring him around, but Spinelli realized he didn't care anymore.

The pain wasn't even so bad now…he was just cold.

Then something changed, it was like drowning. If it had been hard to breathe before, now it was a hundred times worse. Jason must have seen that he was distressed, even though Spinelli couldn't say anything.

"Something's wrong." Jason declared, taking a step towards him. Spinelli said a silent thank you to every god he'd ever heard of that someone had noticed. A paramedic looked him in the eyes, watched him struggle to get any air.

"We need to move faster. His lung just collapsed."

**----**

**A/N: I'll just go dodge a few flames now. If it helps, I've been planning this since chapter seven…****And I did warn you.**

**MAJOR SUPER KUDOS to D-****tepes...**** Weeks ago when I was contemplating where Spinelli would be shot, he went out and did all this research on sucking chest wounds. ****He helped me come up with just about every detail to this chapter. ****So, really, you should be angry with him. In fact, I believe that his research was so good and our discussion on this chapter was so in depth that The Powers That Be must have read our minds and stole the idea for Kate. ****Whatcha****gonna**** do?**

**Next Chapter: Maxie is volunteering at GH…**


	16. Loving Him Meant Cursing Him

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 16: Loving Him Meant Cursing Him**

Maxie decided to take a quick detour down to the maternity ward. She'd never really been one of those women that cooed over babies, but something made her want to lurk around the window where she could look in on all the newborns. Approaching the glass, she considered the baby nearest her, a pink blanket wrapped around the tiny form, a little sleeping face peaking out. Impulsively, Maxie placed a hand over her stomach. She was doing that more and more these days, almost as if she were checking to make sure this entire thing wasn't a dream. No, not a dream, Maxelli was still there. Maxie laughed to herself thinking of Spinelli's nickname for their baby.

"Your dad is so silly…" She muttered, almost hearing Spinelli's heartbeat against hers. Maxie sort of regretted not telling him about how she felt when she was over at Carly's place, but she wanted everything to be perfect. That just wasn't the time, Michael and Morgan spying on the two of them during their moment.

"Things are going to be different, baby, so different. So much better…" Maxie sighed, remembering she actually had things to do. Epiphany would probably be wondering why the clean sheets hadn't been folded up already. Maxie sped up as she realized she'd been on her little vacation for longer than she really should have. Stepping into the elevator, Maxie hummed to herself some song that she couldn't identify. It was something she'd found on Spinelli's computer, an indie artist she supposed. The elevator stopped on the ground floor with a jolt. Maxie stepped out into the bustling emergency room, about to head to the storage room when she spotted Jason Morgan standing across the room.

Walking over to him, Maxie called out to him. "Wow. Jason Morgan has an emergency?" Maxie laughed sarcastically. Jason hadn't been looking at her, but when he heard her voice he spun around and froze. Registering something, Jason quickly paced towards her. Maxie was startled by the blood on the front of his shirt. It almost looked like half of a handprint…

"Oh my god, what happened?"

As Jason made his way over to her, she saw that someone was being worked on at a station. Jason blocked her view before she could see too much.

"Maxie…" he began, speaking with a tone that she'd heard too often in her life. She tried to move around him, realizing by the way Jason was acting that the person that had caught all of the medical staff's attention belonged to her in some form or another. Jason continued to step in front of her, adding to her anxiety.

"What's going on? Who is it?" She pleaded with him, trying to read his eyes. Maxie realized how sick he looked. Jason Morgan was an unreadable android most of the time, so seeing any sort of emotion on his face was always unexpected.

"It's Spinelli," he admitted, sighing heavily. "He's been shot, Maxie."

"No!" She cried out, trying to push past him. Jason grabbed her around the wrists so she couldn't move. Through her struggles, she got a better image of what was going on at the other side of the room. She spotted a pair of red Converse sneakers dangling over the edge of the gurney.

"Maxie, you have to calm down."

"How? I don't understand." Maxie continued to look past Jason, watching the shoes, noticing how they didn't move. Her heart started racing. She just saw him, held him, spoken to him. Spinelli couldn't be that person.

"Michael got a hold of a gun, somehow, and I guess Spinelli must have tried to get it from him…but he was startled." Jason explained, every word making even less sense than the last. The whole ugly scenario ran through her mind.

"But…but he's going to be okay? Right? He's got to…" Maxie stuttered a little, still not quite grasping the concept of Spinelli being the lifeless figure that she couldn't quite get a good enough view of.

Jason bowed his head, the man who couldn't tell lies. "I don't know, Maxie."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"You," he began slowly, concentrating on each word, "Need to prepare yourself."

That was all he needed to say. Maxie broke his grip and bolted for the figure in the red sneakers, afraid he'd be gone before she got to look at him again. A few people in white lab coats turned towards her, Patrick Drake being one of them. He held up a gloved hand to keep her at bay.

"Maxie, stay back, you're not in any condition--"

"I just want to see him, Patrick, please!" Maxie sobbed, trying to maneuver herself into his view. A paramedic she didn't know tried to keep her away. Spinelli's hand was lying limp at his side, completely white except for red streaks that clashed intensely against his skin. He was leaving her. She wished she could see his face, but a nurse blocked her view.

"Please, Patrick," she pleaded, looking him dead in the eye, "Please just let me see him, I'll stay out of the way." Patrick went back to his work but nodded. The paramedic who'd stepped in front of her gotout of her way. Maxie realized that she had a clear shot at Spinelli now, but felt herself dreading what she'd see. The pale hand was quivering at his side.

Inching towards him, Maxie tried to find a place to stand where she could be out of the doctors' way. She placed herself at Spinelli's head, instantly startled by what she saw. Maxie hadn't expected his green-blue stare to be looking up at her. The eyes told her everything though. There wasn't anything behind them. She'd known them to blaze with life, not simmer at the edge of death. Choking at the sight of him, Maxie tentatively reached down a hand to soothe him a little. His hair had been moved in every direction, most of it however clung to his forehead, soaking with sweat.

She gently pet his head, hoping for some sort of recognition. He didn't so much as blink at her touch. Maxie gave him a quick once over, feeling the quaking of his tremors under her hand. Little red fingerprints danced around his neck and face, looking like roses against snow. The most frightening thing was the demon rising and falling in his chest, every breath uneven and without a sense of logic.

"Which operating room is going to be ready first?" Patrick asked.

"Number 3."

"We need to try and stabilize him before we go in there or he'll crash."

Maxie's heart broke when she heard the words. She looked back into her one time lover's eyes and prayed for him to just breathe normally.

"Hey Spin," she spoke gently, pushing some of the hair out of his eyes. He actually blinked at her.

"He's not there, Maxie, he hasn't reacted to us for a few minutes now." Patrick said to her, but Maxie ignored him. Spinelli was looking at her differently now, a little light shining in his eyes. Maxie felt her heart leap at the thought that he was still fighting.

"Spin?" She questioned, and he blinked again at her. His lips started moving from underneath his oxygen mask. Maxie put a hand on it in order to hear what he was trying to say better, but a paramedic stopped her.

"Don't take off his mask--"

Maxie tried to explain, afraid she'd miss this chance. "He's trying to tell me something!"

"He's exhausted--" Maxie ignored him and gently lift the mask off of Spinelli's face, letting it hover over him. She instantly wished she hadn't. His mouth kept trying to form words, allowing her to see his orange colored teeth chatter together, pink spit swilling around his tongue. Maxie put the mask down swiftly to rid herself of the horrible image.

"Hey, hey, Spin" Maxie grabbed blindly for his hand, squeezing his frozen digits tightly. "…It's okay. You can tell me later, okay? Cuz, you're going to be okay. You have to be. You can't leave me like the rest of them…I don't want to do this without you."

Spinelli sort of moved his head, she assumed he was nodding at her. Maxie couldn't look away from him, wished she was dreaming. Suddenly, a look of horror flashed through his eyes. Maxie felt his hand twitch in hers as he closed his eyes, letting out a small whimper. Something was happening to him, but she had no idea what.

A pathetic cough escaped him, his entire body jerking. A low guttural scream came from his throat that chilled her to her core. His shaking hand dug his claws into her skin. Spinelli's eyes were bugging out of his head. It was gut wrenching, the pain he was under. His eyes were searching hers, darting all over the place. Rapidly blinking, the glow that had come back into his gaze started fading. Maxie's heart skipped a beat as she watched his eyes flutter, doing a tightrope walk with consciousness. He must have lost his balance, slipping off the rope, falling into the sleep that had been trying to consume him for so long.

"No, Spinelli, come back to me!" Maxie pleaded. A hand was on her elbow, pulling her away. She felt so unfeeling that she just let the person drag her. Patrick and the rest of the team started moving the gurney swiftly from the station down a hallway. The last thing she was able to see was Spinelli's red shoes blurring out of her sight.

Her world went numb.

"Maxie, he's held on as long as he could, I don't even know how he did it, just let the doctors do their job." Jason's voice spoke softly to her.

He didn't get it.

"You have to stay calm, for your baby's sake. Spinelli won't be able live with himself if he wakes up and something has happened to you or the baby because of this stress."

This made too much sense.

"Come on, sit down."

Everyone she loved left her.

"Maxie?"

She'd cursed them all.

Her feet carried her away, down some cold hallway. BJ in a hospital room, Jesse to a bullet, her mother to selfishness, Lucky to another woman, Georgie to a phone cord, Coop to her betrayal, Spinelli…to her love. It was simple and plain. A gun and a bullet and a young kid had nothing to do with the fact that Spinelli was dying in the operating room right now. He wouldn't have been there if she hadn't loved him. Because that was the fate of every person she'd opened her heart to, they had to find a swift exit. Be it the grave or a door, they couldn't stay for long.

Maxie's hands felt sticky, and she looked down at them, shocked to realize that there were red stains stuck to her palms. Blood must have passed from Spinelli's hands onto hers. Well, it was settled then. She found a wall to cling to, hoping it would keep her steady. The sobs raked through her body, pulling her down to the ground. Maxie slid down the cold, curling up as best she could around herself.

Her hands fell over the round hill under her shirt. Her souvenir, she'd always called the baby that. A memento of a secret night that no one would ever be able to explain, that only two people knew the meaning of. She'd always thought that her souvenir was just a representation of a moment in time, but now she worried that instead the perfect innocence inside of her would be the keepsake of a man's entire life. Would her baby be the only proof that Spinelli had ever lived, breathed, cried or kissed? She shuddered, a few huge raindrops falling from her eyes, making a puddle on her hands.

The baby…she loved it too…

She'd cursed Spinelli's child. How long did her souvenir have?

----

Lulu traveled down the hallways of the hospital, trying to find someone who would explain to her what had happened. Carly had called her, frantically explaining that Michael had shot Spinelli. It didn't make any sense; she'd had lunch with her friend just a few days ago. He'd been alive and talking about his baby, even daring to ramble to her about Maxie for a little bit. They'd laughed and even made bets on whether or not the baby would be a girl or a boy, Spinelli firm on idea that it was a boy.

"Lulu!" A voice called to her. She spun around, finding Jason standing there.

"Oh, I'm so glad I found someone. What's going on?"

"Spinelli is still in surgery, his lung collapsed."

"Oh my god…" Lulu hand flew to her face at the thought of her friend suffering like that.

Jason sighed. "Look, I need some help."

Lulu nodded her head, aware of the stress in his voice. "Yeah, whatever you need."

"Maxie ran off. She's not in any condition to be dealing with this."

It was a struggle for Lulu to try and form any pity for Maxie. Lulu remembered the last time Maxie had gotten emotional, though, and worried for Spinelli's kid. Spotting the blood on the front of Jason's shirt, Lulu lifted an unsteady hand and pointed at it the stain.

"Is…that..?" She felt stupid asking. Of course it was Spinelli's blood.

Jason looked down grimly at the strange handprint. "Yeah."

Lulu felt her heart stir. "Okay. I'll look for Maxie. Find us if they update you on Spinelli."

Jason nodded. Taking that as her cue to leave, Lulu started her search for the wicked witch of the west, mentally kicking herself for having that thought at a time like this. Spinelli might be dying, the mother of his baby was stressed out of her mind. That was what she had to keep telling herself. Maxie was important to Spinelli now, she had to make room in her mind to bring some logic to that concept.

Maxie couldn't have gotten that far, surely. But as Lulu rounded the first floor's many hallways, Maxie's blonde hair never came into her view. She checked into bathrooms with no luck. Lulu then tried a few storage closets and patient rooms, actually starting to get a little worried. Perhaps she'd gone to another floor, or even outside for some air. General Hospital was pretty big. A little blonde girl could blend in to just any area. This was going to be more challenging than she thought.

Lulu was starting to think that maybe she should start back at square one. She hadn't even asked Jason which direction Maxie had headed off to. Just as she was about to find an elevator to start searching the next floor, Lulu heard a quiet crying from a little corned area of the hallway. Something told her it had to be Maxie.

Slowly peaking around a corner, Lulu spied on a little broken figure cradling herself against the wall, balled up on the ground. Maxie looked smaller than usual, almost like a little girl, sobbing like she was. Her head perked up when she realized that Lulu was watching her. The girl's big blue eyes were red and irritated, huge tears leaking out onto her rosy cheeks. Lulu felt her heart sank, her own lips quivering as the realization of how bad this situation really was finally hit her. Spinelli was dying, and Maxie knew it.

"We were supposed to go find out if it's a boy or a girl in six days." Maxie said to her.

Lulu was very taken aback at the hollowness to Maxie's voice. A quick tear leaked down her own face, one she swiftly wiped away so that she could focus on the task at hand. Maxie was completely out of it, otherwise she'd never be talking to her like this.

"Really?" Lulu replied as if she didn't know, trying to keep Maxie engaged.

"He doesn't like to have his picture taken." Maxie said. Lulu had no idea what she was talking about. This was really bad. Lulu dropped her purse on the ground and awkwardly sat down next to Maxie, waiting for the girl to come to her senses and push her away. But Maxie didn't really seem to be talking to anyone in particular.

"He hates being alone. I don't want him to be alone. Do you think he's alone?"

Lulu was so confused. "No…no he's not alone."

"I was going to tell him tonight," Maxie explained, looking at Lulu finally and nodding her head fervently. "I was going to tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"That I loved him." Maxie looked back at the wall.

She hadn't expected that. Lulu looked at the ground feeling as though she swallowed ice. Maxie and Spinelli had slept together, she got that, and they'd become friends…But could he really be in love with the Bad Blonde One? Hell, could Maxie love anyone more than herself?

"I feel like I should be praying," Maxie said darkly. "But I don't know who to. Spinelli is always talking about Greek gods and Roman gods and Norse gods…Which one do you think he'd like the most?"

"All of them…every one you've ever heard of." Lulu smiled, remembering how Spinelli could ramble on and on about his mythology, always finding some sort of special correlation from their stories to real life.

"He's so smart." Maxie said plainly. She'd stopped crying, now just looking drained.

"He is."

Maxie burst out laughing, her hand flying to her stomach. Lulu watched her carefully, afraid that something was wrong. Still laughing, Maxie snatched Lulu's hand and pressed it into her stomach. A swift fluttering traveling across her fingertips.

"His baby is smart too. Knows his mom is upset." Maxie muttered, letting go of Lulu's hand as the movement stopped. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the wall, taking deep breaths. Maybe Maxie finally realized that she needed to calm down before things became even worse. Lulu decided to follow her lead, leaning against the wall as well, trying to find some peace in the moment. They had to take this one moment at a time.

"Why do you and Spinelli think it's a boy?" Lulu asked, just registering that Maxie had referred to the baby as male.

"I don't know." Maxie muttered.

Lulu sighed. These two were extremely strange. She must have been sleeping the past 5 months, not ever registering how close Spinelli and Maxie had gotten. Silently, Lulu hoped that Maxie would treat Spinelli better than she had. If she didn't there would be hell to pay.

Assuming he even made it through the night. Choking on a little bit of air, Lulu recalled why she was sitting next to her enemy and speaking as cordially as they ever would to each other. He couldn't die. Not so randomly, without reason or warning. Not the sweetest soul she'd ever met. Not with his baby due in September.

Maxie sniffled a little too. They sat there for a very long time in silence. Becoming very still, Maxie's head fell forward. She'd somehow managed to fall asleep. Lulu couldn't blame her, this must have been exhausting. Feeling her own eyelids growing heavy, Lulu slowly slipped into sleep, watching the traffic lights across the street flash out a window.

When she woke up, Lulu swiftly looked at her watch. It had been over an hour since she'd arrived at the hospital. Standing, Lulu gently pat Maxie on the top of her head. The other blonde burst awake, obviously startled. She looked around confused, and Lulu held out a hand to her to help her up. Maxie took it, awkwardly standing, very off balance by the round stomach.

"We should go find out if there is any news." Lulu muttered, not wanting to remind Maxie what news she was talking about.

Maxie nodded already bustling away from her. Lulu had to walk pretty fast to keep up with her.

----

Maxie prayed with every step. Turning every corner meant getting closer to the operating room, meant finding out about Spinelli. She dreaded every inch, every breath closer. The waiting room came into view, Jason Morgan sitting in a chair with a hand at his brow. Maxie's heart sank at the sight of him. He looked up at her and Lulu as they drew nearer, a grim look on his face. He stood swiftly, making his way over to them.

"I was about to come find you," he explained. Ever the blank canvas, Maxie found it impossible to read his face. The fear started welling up in her chest again. Maxie needed him to just say the words.

"What do you know?" Lulu begged to know.

"He made it through surgery." Jason explained, sighing. "Now he has to make it through the night."

She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until it escaped her in one big rush. Maxie had honestly not expected him to tell her that. They always left her, didn't they? Why would he to be any different? How had he survived _her_?

Staring down at the dried blood on her hands, Maxie felt spotless for the first time in years.

**----**

**A/N: Thank you for the awesome reviews. I loved your responses! I was really worried about that chapter. Thanks for the support as always.**

**Keep calling the comment line and writing your letters. Our noise is being heard, but we cannot let up. Spinelli still needs support, especially with the focus of the show about to go back onto the mob. **

**Next Chapter: Spin has a long recovery ahead of him. Maxie tries to make it a pleasant one.**


	17. Popularity

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 17: ****Popularity**

She rested her head on the edge of his hospital bed, tucking an arm underneath her head as a pillow. Resting her other hand on his flat stomach, Maxie found that even though Spinelli was unconscious he could bring serenity to her. The ventilator puffed out his chest to a rhythm, letting her resting hand travel along with each breath. Patrick had said the ventilator was just a precaution until Spinelli woke up, just to make sure that his right lung could really handle breathing on its own.

His skin was still pale, but not the snow color it had been the day before. There wasn't a haunting red on the inside of his palms, and the rosy fingerprints had been washed clean from his neck and face. At first glance, if you ignored the pathetic tube cascading down his throat, Spinelli could have been simply sleeping peacefully.

"Maxie, you can't stay here all the time," Mac spoke from behind her. Maxie hadn't even heard him enter the room. Her father lay a hand on her head soothingly. She peaked up at him, seeing the concern etched on his face.

Smiling a little, Maxie tried to assure him she was okay. "I want to be here."

"You aren't in any condition to be dealing with this."

Maxie sighed. "People keep telling me about my condition as if I haven't spotted the huge bump under my blouse yet. I'm taking care of myself, Mac, I promise."

"Have you eaten or slept at all?" Mac pulled up a chair next to her, doubt ringing in his voice.

"Yes, Mac. I'm not being stupid."

Mac nodded at her, ending the subject. That was nice. Someone actually took her word for something for a change. The truth was she was at the point in her pregnancy where the thought of skipping a meal was impossible, so Maxie had been sure to make trips down to the cafeteria every now and then, getting pissed off at the people in the lunch lines that couldn't make up their minds over what sides to order. Weren't their more dire things going on in the world? She'd grab her food and then scurry back up to Spinelli's room, not always believing she'd find him there alive when she returned.

"What has his doctor said?" Mac asked.

"Just have to wait on him to wake up…" Maxie turned back to Spinelli, interlacing her fingers with his hand. He had really striking hands, she noticed. Mentally laughing, Maxie supposed it was from years of typing. Mac stood suddenly and lay a quick kiss on the top of her head.

"I have to go, I just wanted to check on you."

Maxie smiled grimly at him. She realized Mac didn't like the idea of Spinelli being in her life, but Maxie knew he would keep his silence for the sake of her happiness. As soon as he left the room, Maxie went back to resting her head on bed. The beeping of his heart monitor was her lullaby, each chirp from the machine assurance that Spinelli had spent another moment with her.

"Time to wake up, Spin…" she muttered, lonely. They baby hadn't moved at all that day, something that was to be expected, but Maxie still wished her souvenir would make itself known to her. She smoothed out the blanket over Spinelli, wishing some of her disturbance would rouse him. His blank expression didn't change. Sighing, Maxie resolved to wait it out.

How had this happened? The horrible cry that had escaped Spinelli when he coughed ran through her mind again. It had been haunting her. Just that look of absolute terror in his eyes…it really wasn't fair that he'd been conscious through the whole thing. No one had really been able to explain to her how he'd managed to do that.

Someone knocked on the door. Maxie spun around to see Sonny Corinthos standing in the doorway.

"Uhm…Jason's not here…I think he went home to get a shower…get the blood off of him…Sleep maybe." Maxie's lips quivered a little. She absentmindedly found Spinelli's hand, reassured by the warmth in his fingertips. Sonny took a slow few steps into the room, not looking at her, concentrating on her reposing friend. He had a strange expression on his face. Bowing his head a little, Sonny cleared his throat to speak.

"I just want you to know that…uh…You know, I'm going to make sure that he's taken care of. If he needs any special care, it's his."

Maxie was silent. Sonny rubbed the back of his neck and continued. "And you too, anything you need, it's done."

She didn't really know what to say. "Um…well, I really don't need anything…"

Sonny shook his head. "I've got to do what I can to make this right. What I can, which isn't much now…after the fact." He didn't want to say the words, Maxie realized. It must have been an impossible concept to grasp, finding out your son shot someone. It must have been even worse realizing that it was because of your influence. Maxie almost pitied him.

Maxie nodded at him, not really knowing what else to say or do. They both sat in silence for a moment awkwardly. Sonny kept staring at Spinelli's chest rising and falling mechanically to the beat of a clicking machine.

"How is Michael?" Maxie asked, almost wishing she hadn't. Sonny's eyes flashed.

"He's…he's pretty shaken." Sonny replied. He seemed miles away. Blinking, he shook himself from his thoughts.

"I'll leave you to him then…" Sonny shuffled on the spot. "Do not hesitate to call me and ask for help. I'm man enough to acknowledge my responsibility in this." Staring her right in the eyes, Maxie could only nod in response to him. He paused for only a moment before turning to leave. Sonny almost ran into Carly as she bustled into the room. The both hesitated for a second.

"We'll talk later," Sonny spoke softly to her, exiting the room.

Carly looked as though she forgot where she was for a second, but quickly kicked back to life. Maxie realized that she looked like a wreck. She'd probably been dealing with cops and traumatized children all night long. Sighing heavily, Carly walked over to opposite of the bed that Maxie was at. Something was in her hand, and she jerkily handed it over to Maxie.

"His wallet…It was on counter…" Carly explained, her voice sounding hollow. If Spinelli only knew how he affected others he would be shocked, Maxie realized. She took the wallet from Carly, holding it tightly to her chest. Carly looked down at Spinelli and fidgeted with her hands.

"He's going to make it, right?" she asked, looking back up at Maxie. Maxie smiled a little and nodded as she heard the beeping heart monitor gently ease her doubts away. Carly sighed heavily. "My son is responsible for this…I can't even grasp that concept."

Maxie mechanically touched her stomach. Carly watched her, smiling a little. "He's going to be a great dad…Morgan thinks he's the coolest person ever…and Michael…" Carly stopped.

"It's okay…" Maxie told her, knowing how weak the words were. Carly just grimaced a little and pet Spinelli's hair quickly.

"He's a good kid." She said. "I…I have to go back and be with the boys…"

Maxie nodded. As Carly left the room Maxie saw her swiftly wipe at her eyes.

"Spin, if you could only see what you're doing to people…"

The wallet lay on the edge of the bed. Maxie hesitated, trying to resist the urge to go through it. The Bad Blonde One decided that Sassy Maxie needed a little break from all the stress, though, and she found herself opening the clasp on the leather wallet. Spinelli's driver's license greeted her happily, all the technical details about his life, from his height to his eye color, spelled out right in front of her. There was a wad of cash folded into a crease. She resisted the urge to count it, deciding that was probably a little rude.

Something was tucked up and sticking out of one of the folds where a credit card might have been kept. Maxie took it out and unfolded it. It was the picture that she kept next to her nightstand of the two of them together. Spinelli must have made a copy for himself. Flattening it out, Maxie decided it would be better served propped up by the lamp on the nightstand. Maxie adored that picture because it showed something to her that she believed the rest of the world saw a long time before it ever registered in her own mind. In the picture she was blissfully happy and he adored her.

Maxie was almost done snooping through his wallet when a little pink sticky note tucked behind his driver's license caught her eye. She hadn't noticed it before. Pulling it out of its hideaway, Maxie unwrinkled it. It read "Smile, fair Maxie." This must have been the sticky note Spinelli had been planning to stowaway into some new hiding place the day he'd been shot. She melted a little, tucking it back behind the driver's license so he would get a chance to hide it for her.

Setting the walled down on the nightstand, Maxie was glad her evil side had told her to be sneaky. He had made room in his wallet for them…

----

_Spinelli found himself on the steps of the park, confused as to how he got there. It was so dark out, and snowing too…It was June though. Why would it be snowing in June? __A figure sat down next to him on the cold stairs. She smiled at him in the moonlight, but he couldn't believe it was her._

_"Georgie?"__ He gasped._

_"Hi Spinelli."__ She smiled at him. _

_"I don't understand…" Spinelli held out a hand and touched her shoulder to see if she was really there. As soon as he lifted his right arm, though, a pain shot through his chest. He quickly looked down at the front of his shirt and saw the blood leaking down his chest. He'd been shot, he remembered that…_

_Looking up into Georgie's peaceful brown eyes, Spinelli choked. "I'm dead, aren't I?"_

_Georgie shrugged. "We'__re just waiting.__"_

_Spinelli stared down at his red shoes. "What does that mean?"_

_Georgie was silent. He was dead…that wasn't fair. _

----

Maxie went back to her waiting game, holding Spinelli's hand in hers. The monitors kept a steady beat, unchanging. She was starting to get antsy, desperate for him to just open his eyes finally.

"Oh Maxie, sweetheart, how are you?"

Sam walked in and quickly hugged her. Maxie hugged her back, starting to feel the confidence she'd built up all afternoon start cracking at the option of being vulnerable. All day people had come and gone and asked her how he had been, but none of them had asked about how she felt.

"Uhm…" Maxie tried to speak but found her words heavy. "You know…"

Her eyes started burning. Sam pulled away from her and pulled up a chair next to her, patting her on the knees.

"It's okay, Maxie."

She felt the waterworks happening and realized that all day she'd been sitting on them, feeling as though she'd cried enough the day before.

"I thought he was going to die, Sam." Maxie sputtered through quivering lips.

Sam cocked her head and looked at her sadly. "He's not though, right? So it's okay."

Maxie buried her face in her hands. "Oh god, what if he had? I'm not strong enough to raise this baby by myself…"

"Spinelli fought though, didn't he? You don't have to worry about that."

"You didn't see him, Sam, he was in agony and he passed out in front of me and for a split second I thought 'this is it, he's gone, he's left me'…" She sobbed a little, wet tears slipping down her fingers. Sam put her hands on either shoulder and soothed her gently.

"Calm down, Max, you don't want to stress the baby."

"His baby, Sam. All that would've been left of him…"

Turning quickly back to him, Maxie gripped his hand tightly. She felt his pulse pounding through his skin. The ventilator kept pushing up his chest robotically, dementedly. He had to wake up soon, she couldn't stand seeing him move like a machine any longer.

"It breaks my heart seeing him like this, Sam…"

His hand jerked in hers. Maxie jumped up.

"What is it?" Sam demanded.

Leaning in on him, looked for any sign that he was waking up.

"Spin?...Please Spin…I love you so much, Spin, you have to come back to me."

The heart rate on the monitor started to speed up.

----

_Georgie laughed suddenly. "You and my sister…__"_

_Spinelli turned to her, having trouble finding any amusement in his sudden predicament. _

_"You two are quite the pair," Georgie continued, her brown curls bobbing with her laughter. _

_Spinelli didn't know how to feel about what his friend was saying to him. She was there with him, that was a miracle, but he had just been ripped from the world and now was expected to laugh at what he had been taken from?_

_"I…I don't want to be dead," he repeated. "I wanted to meet our child."_

_Georgie laughed again. "He's right behind you__ silly."_

_Spinelli spun around on the stairs, coming face to face with a small sprite of a child. He was no older than four, his bright blue eyes almost glowing in the moonlight. Spinelli felt the pain in his chest subside. The little boy stood quietly looking at him, his messy elfish hair messed in all directions. __Raising himself off the ground slowly, Spinelli inched towards the figure._

_"Hi…" He spoke gently, hoping the kid wouldn't be scared off. The little boy took a few steps towards him, and from Spinelli's crouched position they were now eye to eye. He could see the traces of himself on the little face, but __Maxie's__ features we're strongest. _

_"Hi daddy," The boy said innocently__ in his small voice, a shyness to his stance. Spinelli was amazed._

_Georgie spoke up. "It's time to go, Spinelli."_

_Spinelli couldn't move, mesmerized by the little smile creeping on the boy's mouth. __A sudden horrible question flashing across his thoughts._

_"Wait, wait, why is he here? If you're dead and I'm dead, why is he here?" Spinelli turned back to Georgie who was holding out her hand for Spinelli. _

_"He's waiting too." _

_"What do you mean by waiting?" He demanded, panicked. _

_"Waiting to breathe."_

_Spinelli searched her eyes for some sort of explanation. She started fading though, and he could feel pressure on his chest again. It wasn't dark anymore. _

----

Maxie watched as Spinelli's eyes flew open. They darted around the room. He began clutching at the tube in his mouth, looking terrified. The beeping machine showed that his heart rate was amplified, clearly showing he was distressed. Spinelli made a muffled coughing noise as he choked on the ventilator tube.

"I'll get a doctor," Sam said, running from the room.

Maxie pet his head soothingly. "It's okay, Spin, you've got a ventilator tube down your throat, just hang on okay?" He gazed up on her, completely confused, choking.

Leo and another nurse bustled into the room followed by Sam. Maxie got out of the way and turned her back, unable to look at what they were doing. He kept making wrenching sounds.

"Mr. Spinelli, just relax."

Leo spoke calmly, but forcefully. Maxie could only focus on the heartbeat that was getting faster and faster. Finally, Leo stepped back from the scene and started checking Spinelli's vitals. Maxie took the opportunity to get back in Spinelli's sight. Sitting down on his bed, Maxie put a hand on the rapidly rising chest.

"Shh…Spin," Maxie leaned over him.

He looked back at her, cringing a little, but a small smile was on the corner of his mouth. She snatched his hand and pressed the fingers to her lips, sneaking a quick kiss on them.

"Max…" he murmured, his voice raspy, panting a little. It wasn't much of even a whisper, but Maxie could hear in just the simple syllable that he was back, and she wasn't alone anymore. Sighing with relief, Maxie leaned in on him and pressed the lightest kiss she could on his lips, just needing the feel of them against hers, not wanting to be too selfish. It was a feather's touch, but enough to shift her world. Spinelli was still out of breath, but he looked at her as if nothing was bothering him at all.

Running a hand through his hair, Maxie couldn't break his stare. He looked confused, but he gingerly raised his hand to her face, his arm so weak that Maxie had to meet his touch halfway. Fingertips grazed her cheek before slowly falling back down to his side.

"I'm with you, Spin."

----

**A/N: I need to thank D-****tepes**** and Evelyn for helping me with this and the last chapter. Much love to the both of you.**

**I'm VERY curious as to what you thought of this chapter because I wondered if it was too weird. Questions and comments are welcome!**

**Next Chapter: The throes of young love…because you guys have earned it.**


	18. Strange and Pretty Melody

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 18: Pretty and Strange Melody**

"Uh…I'll just…leave you two alone…" Sam stammered, pursing her lips so tightly that Maxie knew she was holding back a laugh. "Get well soon, Spinelli…although I'm pretty sure you're doing just fine..." Sam waved over her shoulder as she exited the room. Maxie turned back to Spinelli and grinned sheepishly at him. He was blushing ridiculously.

"I don't…umm…" he whispered, looking at his new surroundings, doing his best to not look her in the eye. "Uhh…"

Maxie couldn't help but laugh a little at the way he'd reacted to her kiss. He probably had no idea what was going on. It wasn't the way she's planned to express how she felt to him, but it worked. His confused expression started morphing into a pained one though, pulling her out of her delight.

"What's wrong, Spin?" He grabbed his chest, his breathing getting slower.

"It hurts to breathe…" Spinelli murmured, closing his eyes.

Leo, who had been silently writing things on Spinelli's chart, chirped up. "That's to be expected, Mr. Spinelli. I'll up your pain meds, it shouldn't be unbearable. You're also going to have some trouble with your right arm until your chest muscles recoup from being damaged by the bullet. Good news is that you've survived the worst of it."

Spinelli grimaced, pressing a hand into chest. "How long have I been here?" His voice was extremely raspy and tired sounding. Maxie placed her hand on his, and his eyes opened, their ocean staring back into her sky blue, in between them an isolated island.

"It's been about a day…you came in late yesterday afternoon," Maxie told him, tracing the lines on his palms, trying to read where his life connected with hers. His fingers slowly curled around hers.

"I'll send a nurse back with some pain medication, alright?" Leo took another quick look at Spinelli's vitals then exited the room. The silence that was left with his departure fell over them like a linen sheet, the two of them under wraps and only looking at each other. His eyes asked for 'truth' after she had chosen 'dare'. Maxie wasn't ready to explain herself to him yet, still enjoying the bliss of hearing him speak.

"I've been waiting forever for you to wake up." She quickly wiped her eyes on the back of her hand, realizing she was probably still tearstained from her emotional conversation with Sam. With her focus back on him, Maxie realized that Spinelli didn't look at all happy.

"Maxie…please don't tell me you've been here the whole time."

Both of his brows were furrowed in concern. There was an added edge to his speech, one not caused by a sore throat. He sounded disappointed. Pushing herself off of his bed, Maxie turned her back on the accusing ocean eyes. He didn't think she was taking care of herself either.

"Maxie?"

"No one thinks I'm capable of taking care of myself and this baby, do they? It's not possible that maybe, just maybe I'm being responsible. I watched the man that I love almost die right in front of me! Can't someone give me a break?"

"Max…" Spinelli tried to interrupt her, but she ignored him.

"I had it all planned out, you know? It was going to be perfect and wonderful and you would know how I felt about you and we could be a family for real. But some stupid, stupid bullet tries to take that all away from me. For god's sake, you had blood all in your mouth, Spinelli! So, yeah, maybe I have been here, hoping every single second that you wouldn't die and be taken away from me and our baby."

She sighed heavily, feeling her eyes burning, choking her up again. Spinelli started making strange squeaking noises. Maxie spun back around, and almost burst out laughing through the tears that were building up in her eyes. Spinelli was clutching at the oxygen tubes that were wrapped around his face. He gingerly lifted them away from his nose and set them back into place. Then he raised his hands in front of his face and looked as though he were counting his fingers.

"What are you doing?" Maxie asked though a heavy giggle.

"Am I high?" Spinelli looked up from his hands. "What's in this gas?"

Maxie gingerly sat back down next to him, realizing he might actually have been a little loopy and she probably wasn't making it better. He was searching her with his stare again, confused. It was funny, how sweet and naïve he really was. Petting his cheek with the back of her hand, Maxie almost dissolved into the air when his eyes fluttered at the touch. She was able to make him move, react, budge from normalcy. Had she always been so powerful?

Speaking low, almost seductively, Maxie had to know. "What are you confused about, Mr. Spinelli?" He caught her tone, blinking rapidly. The heart monitor began speeding up. Spinelli glanced at the beeping machine and swallowed hard.

"Every…everything." He stuttered, nervously adjusting the oxygen tubes, tapping them rapidly as if afraid it would slip off his face. Maxie pulled his hands away from his face, gingerly laying them down in his lap. He froze, barely breathing. Tentatively straightening the tubes for him, Maxie leaned into him, getting inches away from his face.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Spinelli?" It felt like déjà vu, except reversed. The last time she'd posed that question Maxie had been the one in the hospital bed.

"I…I…umm…" he huffed through the words, broken as they were.

"So you can tell Jason Morgan how you feel about me…but you can't just tell me?"

Spinelli's eyes bugged out of his head. "How…"

"I've fallen for you, Spin." She put the words out into the universe and let him figure them out. He must have been holding his breath, because he let out all of his air at once, wincing a little and clutching his chest.

Fighting for one solid breath, Spinelli stammered. "I have been in love with you for months."

He was struggling now, trying to push himself up, failing miserably as his arms shook like wobbly stems. Maxie hurriedly pushed the button on his bed so that he could sit up properly with the mattress supporting him.

"What's wrong?" She asked swiftly.

"You've…just…kind of taken my breath away." Spinelli closed his eyes focusing on slow inhalation. He probably didn't mean for it to sound so cliché and sappy, but Maxie couldn't help but smile a little. They were almost eye level now. She didn't have to lean over him at least, which was good because her back was starting to hurt a little, though she didn't mind that much if it meant being closer to him.

She put her hand behind his head to steady him, tipping their foreheads together. He began to wrap his left arm around her, his fingers weakly creeping around her frame like ivy, finding a resting place on the small of her back. Short breaths tickled past her cheeks. Maxie claimed her territory, kissing his temple, his cheek, the bridge of his nose. This skin was hers now, these places only hers to know.

Maxie went for his lips and was a little startled when he had already met her halfway. Just a small, tiny kiss, one he couldn't keep going for longer than a few seconds without breaking away from her to breathe, but that was all she needed from him. She knew he needed rest, letting his head fall back onto his pillows lightly. Tasting salt on her lips, Maxie realized she'd been crying a little.

"You could've told me a long time ago, Spin." Maxie wiped the tears off her face.

"Are you sure I'm not high?"

Kissing his forehead, Maxie couldn't help but laugh against his skin. She rested her forehead on his again, hair falling forward into her face, creating a curtain for the two of them to hide behind.

"Are you and the baby okay?"

"Yep," Maxie assured him, finding his free hand and placing it on the side of her stomach. "Baby's fine, just quiet…and I couldn't be better."

"What…does this mean, Maxie?"

Maxie snuck a quick kiss on his lips, sitting up properly. "It means…I'm going to kiss you. A lot." Spinelli looked at her amazed, but he slowly smiled at her. There was music in his grin, a slow tinkling piano playing a haunting melody, pretty but strange. Someone knocked on the door. Maxie sighed a little at the sight of Liz entering the room. Liz bit her tongue at the sight of her, quickly moving past her to Spinelli's I.V.

"Hey Spinelli…Dr. Julian sent me to give you some nice pain medication." Liz began injecting some sort of clear liquid into his I.V. "You're going to feel really, really nice pretty soon."

Liz pat him on the shoulder gently, giving him a smile. She glanced at Maxie but didn't say anything. Maxie turned her focus back on Spinelli, ignoring a few choice words she wanted to throw her old enemy's way. He was dazed looking, grinning like a fool.

"What?"

Spinelli just giggled, pressing a hand over his mouth. Maxie realized he was already feeling the side effects of the medication. He looked absolutely delighted. Maxie poked him in the stomach.

"Hey, you. I'm the only one who's supposed to make you giggle like a girl."

"I love you Maxie…" he slurred, looking sleepy. "And I love Maxelli…and we're going to all be okay…cuz I promised we would be…"

"Okay, Spin," Maxie laughed, watching his eyes droop even more.

"Hey Maxie?" Spin chirped up, laughing a little. "Go home. Sleep. Jackal sleeps. You sleep. We'll all sleep. Sleep sleep sleep."

Maxie leaned in and kissed him one last time on the lips, felt his body rocking a little from laughter.

"Okay. I'll go sleep."

"Sleep sleep sleep…."

----

Spinelli enjoyed the buzz that whatever drugs were pumping through his system gave him. He'd awoken to an empty room, a little sad that Maxie wasn't there, but relieved that she actually had left, hopefully to get some rest. He didn't know what the hell he'd done to deserve waking up to her. Any minute now he expected the hidden camera show to jump out and reveal he was on candid camera or punk'd, something that would tell him this was a cruel joke, because things never ended happily for him.

Glancing over at his heart monitor, Spinelli wondered if he could hack into it and get it to do something neat. He was bored. Maybe Maxie would come back to him that evening.

Holy Toledo.

Maxie Jones had kissed him. Multiple times. Said she loved him.

Holy freakin Toledo.

Spinelli tried to grasp the concept, realizing it hadn't sunk in until just now. She wanted him, and not just as her baby's accidental father. How long had she known? She must have overheard his and Jason's conversation a few nights ago…But she had been upstairs, and Jason was facing the stairs, he would've noticed her. Unless…Jason had been unusually receptive to letting him rant…

Jason knew! Spinelli coughed, realizing that his friend and mentor had managed to help him out in another aspect of his life. A figured entered the room.

Speak of the devil…

"Stone Cold." Spinelli smiled. Jason actually sort of smiled, pulling up a chair next to his bed.

"Hey."

Spinelli didn't quite know what to say to the man who'd probably saved his life. Jason had kept him calm throughout Spinelli's entire horrible ordeal of being shot. The blood on the walls…Spinelli almost lost himself in the image flitting through his head. His hand was hurting, and Spinelli realized he'd been digging his nails his palms. Clearing his throat, Spinelli tried to shake the image out of his head. Rubies sliding down the wall…

"Well, that was a most unique bonding experience for team Jackal-Stone Cold."

Jason's eyes darkened a little, but he didn't say anything. He looked down at his hands.

"It's good to see you're awake."

Spinelli nodded. "And in no time the Jackal will return to his old antics of getting on the master's last nerve."

"I can hardly wait," Jason laughed.

"What would you have done without your go to tech guy around? It would've been a dark day indeed, computers crashing and networks being hacked into by devious minions of doom looking for Mr. Corinthos, Sir's secret coffee recipes…"

"I'd rather not think of the state of things without the Jackal around."

Spinelli looked at his friend, a little stunned. "I'll be back at work as soon as possible…"

"Spinelli, do you think that's the only reason I keep you around? Somehow, strangely, you're pretty much a part of the family now."

Jason's voice was strange, one of those tones he only saved for moments of confession. Spinelli had a hard time believing that this time his friend was using the tone to talk about him. This wouldn't probably ever happened again, Jason being so nice.

"The Jackal is touched."

"If something had happened to you…Michael being the one who'd shot you…I would have, well, I do feel responsible." Jason tapped the arm of the chair awkwardly. Spinelli noticed that with every tap Jason's knuckles on the chair, he got more and more nervous. Waiting to breathe.

"Is Michael okay?" Spinelli asked quickly, trying to get his focus of the rhythm being beat into the chair. His buzz had finally worn, leaving him feeling a little on edge.

Jason sighed heavily. "It's nothing you should worry yourself with. You need to focus on recuperating. He's dealing."

Spinelli didn't push the subject, aware of the sharpness to Jason's tone. He felt horribly for the young boy. Spending time with him had allowed for Spinelli to connect with him. It was clear that he was very confused at his age. He had no animosity for the child. If asked to babysit for Carly again, he would do it. Looking at Jason closely, Spinelli realized how tired he looked.

"Everything okay, Stone Cold? You're leather jacket survived, right?" Spinelli tried to keep the conversation light.

Laughing darkly, Jason nodded. "The carpet, however, did not." He looked up at Spinelli quickly and seemed as though he regretted saying that.

Red rubies slipping down the wall…

Blinking quickly, Spinelli cleared the picture from his mind. "Oh."

"Don't worry about it, Spinelli, I shouldn't have said that."

Spinelli nodded. Waiting to breathe.

"I see that Maxie finally went home." Jason was clearly trying to changed the subject as well.

Smiling ridiculously, Spinelli saw the pretty blonde in the red dress, the perfect image of Maxie, telling him she loved him.

"Yeah. She's gone. She was here when I woke up though."

Jason grinned at him, and Spinelli knew he must have looked like a fool in love.

"You mean a lot to her, Spinelli."

Spinelli remembered being worked on at the station in the hospital, staring up at the ceiling as people bustled around him, moving him, poking and prodding, revealing him. He remembered that after a while that he didn't care. He'd felt tired and was almost gone. Someone kept talking to him, but it took him a long time to register her sky blue eyes above him. Spinelli was pretty sure that for a moment he was at the edge of a great cliff, but seeing her he'd chosen not to jump.

Remember where he was, Spinelli felt his heart stir at the thought of her.

"She saved me, Jason. In more ways than one."

Maxie stumbled in the room, stopping when she saw Jason was there. Hesitating in the doorway, Spinelli was sure she'd never looked more beautiful. This was the first moment he'd seen her after their confessions, and nothing had changed, not that he thought it would.

"Hey Spin," She said, blushing a little. Her hand fell onto her stomach, something he loved to see more than anything. Every time she acknowledged their baby in that way he felt as though she were pulling out a bookmark from her favorite novel.

"Hello, Sassy Maxie."

She smiled, and it was only for him.

-----

**A/N: Okay, so I don't know if I will be updating for a while…I'm going on Spring Break next week so I doubt I'll be updating at all next week. I will try my hardest to get another chapter out this week though so you don't have to wait THAT long to read a new one. Please add this story to your alert list as I think it will save you a lot of frustration of checking back to see if I updated.**

**Reviews are adored, and may inspire me to take extra time out of my vacation to update sooner than I think.**

**Keep calling and writing to support your favorite ship. We're doing so well! Keep it up! One Spixie fan made 196 postcards to send in to the powers that be! Thanks KCZephy! You are amazing!**

**Next chapter: Boy or girl? Place your bets. LOL**


	19. Caleb

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 19: Caleb**

Stopping in the doorway, Maxie couldn't help but smile at the sleeping figure. He looked so much better today. The paleness to his cheeks appeared more like his natural tone, though still a little grey. The light streaming in through the window of Spinelli's hospital room only added to the peaceful atmosphere. Tiptoeing over to him, Maxie sat down slowly on the edge of his bed. She almost felt bad about waking him, but she has such good news that Maxie knew he would want to hear it.

Picking at a few strands of hair, Maxie considered him. She wanted to freeze this image of him in her memory. Maybe if she could take enough away from that moment she'd be able to recall it in her loneliest of instances. Above all else, Spinelli was her best friend, giving her freedom from her isolated life.

The oxygen tube had slipped off of his ear. Gently fixing it, Maxie leaned in and placed a light kiss on his cheek. Trailing a few more kisses down his face, Maxie felt Spinelli's smile shift underneath the one she left at the corner of his mouth. She pulled her face a few inches away from his face, but Spinelli still had eyes closed.

"Good morning." She whispered. He smiled wider. "Why don't you open your eyes?"

"Cuz I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming," Spinelli muttered blearily. 

"I'm a tease, Spin, not a dream."

His eyes fluttered open, for a moment the breath caught in her throat. The depths of his ocean were murky today, she couldn't see the bottom. Wither her focus on his gaze she was a little surprised when his cold hand traced up the side of her arm. His hand found the back of her neck; it's presence against her skin giving her goose bumps. She didn't know what he was doing. 

"Stop teasing," he stated firmly, stretching up from his pillows, catching her in a kiss. Her lips melted into his. She'd needed this for a long time, Maxie realized. Someone to take the lead, steer her ship into safe waters. Cupping the side of his face, Maxie deepened the kiss. Spinelli's hand started to traveled into her hair. Butterflies searched for an escape in her stomach. 

Wait, no, that wasn't butterflies. Breaking away from him abruptly Maxie pulled Spinelli's hand out of her hair and rested it on the moving waves in her stomach. His tired face lit up.

"Hello baby." He muttered, a little out of breath. His lips looked a little red, and Maxie realized that some of her lipstick had rubbed off onto him. Licking the end of her thumb, Maxie started to wipe off the ruby color from the corners of his mouth. Spinelli pulled her hand away from his face.

"Eww, eww eww…Don't do the spit clean thing…ew…" He rapidly wiped at his face, more energy exerted out of him than she'd seen in days. Laughing, Maxie couldn't help but be amused at the absurdity of it all.

"We just made out a little, Spinelli…spit was involved as I recall."

"But…that's acceptable. Kissing you is a exquisite gift on the level of…well….I can't think of a video game reference big enough…But the spit thing, that's just…ew."

Maxie pouted a little, jokingly. "Fine. Keep lipstick smeared all over your face. It brings out your eyes."

Spinelli looked a little horrified and started chewing on his lips fervently. Giggling a little, Maxie tried to straighten his hair a little. It was all messed up, going different directions. He stopped trying to get rid of the stained tint and just watched her. Pausing, Maxie let her hand settle on the side of his face, his eventually resting on hers. To think, she'd almost lost him. 

"I love you," Maxie said quietly, her eyes dropping from his for a second. He made her feel so innocent and shy, allowed for her to be naïve. Catching his murky ocean in her gaze again, Maxie felt for the first time that Damian Spinelli was looking out at her, not some Jackal or even her best friend Spin. He didn't reply, he didn't really need to. Dragging the hand away from the side of his face, Spinelli kissed the backs of her fingers, something she'd done to him many times but hadn't realized how powerful it was until he'd returned the favor. 

The sunshine coming in through the window was warming her side, reminding her that some time had probably passed faster than she'd intended. 

"I've got a surprise for you, Spin." 

"What?"

"Dr. Lee had a cancelation…I've got an appointment to find out the sex of the baby in about 15 minutes!" At her words, Spinelli started to sit up, excited, but flinched and grabbed his chest. 

"The Jackal must remember that his reflexes and usually superior body are less than their strongest these days." He cringed, gritting his teeth. Maxie wished she could do something to help him. He seemed so happy seconds before, and yet the frustration was evident all over his face when he remembered his current health status. 

"I was kind of hoping I could kidnap you by way of wheelchair so we could go together." 

Eying the various tubes all connected to menacing machines strewn across his form, Maxie knew that wasn't going to be an option. Plus, he was just exhausted from trying to sit up. Spinelli kind of darkly smiled at her, shaking his head. He too could see that there really wasn't any choice in the matter. 

"Go without me. Please, I really want to know." 

It didn't seem right, and it definitely wasn't fair. However, that was just the way things were. Maxie nodded, rising from his bedside. 

"I'll be back soon." She gave him a quick peck. Spinelli smiled wide as she made her way towards the door. Pausing in the doorway, Maxie furrowed her brow at him.

"What?"

"It's a boy," he shrugged innocently. She chuckled a little, waving goodbye. He was just so damn sure. 

----

She'd been gone too long. 

Spinelli felt his anxiety rising with each second, picturing the little boy from his dream with Georgie. The dream kept sneaking up on him, making him wonder if it meant anything or nothing at all. It was just his subconscious stressing, surely. The baby had just moved, he'd felt it. 

But what was taking so long?

Waiting to breathe, waiting to breathe, waiting to breathe…

Tap tap tap tap tap. His knuckles hit the sides of the hospital bed, erratically beating a tune into the air. It was too quiet, and she still wasn't back. Spinelli pressed his hands into his eyes, trying to force the thoughts out of his mind. Squeaking shoes entering his room drug him out of his contemplation. 

Finally.

Maxie was grinning wickedly, both hands behind her back. He felt relief wash over him. She sat lightly on the edge of his bed, wiggling her eyebrows at him. Spinelli couldn't resist resting his hand over the hill in her stomach.

"So?" Spinelli smiled, holding his breath a little. Pausing for a second, Maxie eyed him. Then, she swiftly brought out a hand from behind her back. Within an instant she was messing with his hair, and he was completely confused. Looking satisfied, Maxie pulled away, pursing her lips.

He hesitated, trying to figure out what she had done. Tentatively reaching up into his hair, Spinelli's fingers grazed a strange mesh material in his tresses. He pulled it out, his hair tangling a bit.

It was a little pink bow. He stared at it, trying to figure out what the heck it meant. Then it all clicked.

"It's a girl?" Spinelli asked, disbelieving, and tried to find an explanation in her eyes. 

Maxie just shrugged a little. "Well…boy's don't wear bows…"

A little girl. "No, no they don't," Spinelli agreed, confused. He'd thought it was a boy for so long, knew it was a boy, had dreams of a son…what had any of it meant? Nothing at all…just his wild imagination again? A girl, his girl, his daughter. Spinelli registered this new and foreign concept. But what about the little boy with the big blue eyes…

"Nope…boys don't wear bows…that's why I got this." 

Maxie brought her other hand out from behind her, revealing a pale blue beanie, one that Spinelli might pick out for himself, but in a smaller infant form. His stomach fluttered at the sight of it. Reaching out for it, Spinelli found the small piece of cloth heavy in his hand. Everything seemed much more real in that instant. 

"I was just messing with you, Spin. It's a boy." 

"I told you so," He sputtered, realizing he had a son. Eyes burning a little, Spinelli laughed at the image of his son wearing that little beanie, the rest of him decked out in fashionable kid clothing because of Maxie's influence. 

"Scoot over," Maxie demanded, sniffling a little herself, pulling back the covers to his bed. Spinelli tried to make as much room for her as possible, and she crawled into his bed with him. It was a tight squeeze, between his need for room and her stomach trying to take up most of it, but they made it work. Her legs tangled up with his, the scent of her hair lingering oh so nicely by his face. He pulled the blankets over the both of them as she rested her head on his shoulder.

They were two trees. After spending ages growing only inches apart, they began to intertwine, and what was left was a mess of leaves and bark and branches. Passersby no longer could see just the one tree or the other, but the whole great twisted form. Spinelli kissed her forehead, feeling her shaking a little from quiet crying. Surely his heart would burst from the love he felt for her at that moment. If it did, it would be worth it.

"Dr. Lee said 'it's a boy' and I just burst out laughing," Maxie chuckled, laying a hand on the growing and now less secretive hill under her green sundress. 

"No problems?" 

"Just that you shouldn't be getting shot again anytime soon because 'stress like that isn't good for the baby'."

Spinelli draped his arm over her protectively, quickly reveling in the fact that he could do that now without feeling like he was invading her space. Her stomach pressed into his side, his strange little family close as they could be.

"Have no fear, the Jackal plans on staying out of random dangerous situations" Spinelli swallowed hard. Why did she have to bring up the shooting? An exploding noise, a flash of light, pain, not breathing, no air, hot sticky messy blood…Could Maxie hear his teeth grinding together? 

"You better be. All I know is girl stuff…Someone has to be around to teach our little boy how to be…well…a little boy." Maxie looked up at him. Spinelli kissed her forehead again, trying to distract himself from the rubies running down the wall. He thought that she was smiling at him, but he had trouble seeing her for a second. 

"So, Maxelli, you're daddy was right all along…" Spinelli heard her say, finally being able to focus. She was petting the roundness and speaking in that sweet tone of voice reserved only for the baby. Maxie doubted it at times, but he could hear in her every word that she would be a wonderful mother to their child, wait, their son. 

"Thank you, Mini Jackal…The Blonde One owes me five bucks now," Spinelli jumped into her conversation with the baby, feeling slightly better now. Maxie rocked from a little laugh. 

"Good job baby." Maxie chortled, her continued animosity towards Lulu silent but apparent.

Snuggling into his chest, Maxie pulled the blankets tightly over the both of them. She rested her eyes, giving him the perfect opportunity to just sit and look at her. Her shoes must have been off because he could feel her cold feet tickling up his leg. This was definitely something he could get used to, curled up with his true heartbeat, just being together in a simple silence. 

"We're going to have a son, Maxie,"

She nodded her head, sighing. "We get to start thinking up names for him."

"Sure you just don't want to call him Maxelli?" Spinelli pushed a strand of her hair out of her face. 

"I was thinking more along the lines of a name you didn't make up."

Scoffing, Spinelli faked a little outrage. "The Jackal comes up with the best names, a result of my incredible and extensive knowledge of the world and all its legends and history."

"Well we're not calling him Zues or anything like that."

"What do you suggest then, Sassy Max?"

Maxie paused in thought, but Spinelli could tell she'd already been thinking about it and the hesitation was more out of her coy way of pretending as though she hadn't already planned it all out. 

"Do you like the name Greg?" 

Spinelli faked a gagging noise. "Ugh, Greg Spinelli? Does that sound good to you?" 

"What about Steven Spinelli?"

"Alliteration annoys me."

"Yeah right, you're the one who calls Coop the Clean Cut Cadet." 

"But that's nicknames…not real names…"

Maxie continued to throw out names. "Tyler? Brandon? Bradford?"

"Bradford is kind of nice. Bradford Spinelli."

Sighing, Maxie tilted her head up at him. "But it's not our baby is it?"

He knew what she meant. Their baby was a mysterious figure, naming him was going to be a real challenge. Spinelli could think up a clever name for just about anyone, but his son's was going to be the most important one he'd ever decided on. 

Maxie pulled back the blanket, cold air sweeping in on the two of them. She twisted a little, placing both hands on her stomach.

"Come on now, baby, what is your name?" 

Spinelli thought of the shy figure from his dream, the one who waited with Georgie Jones on a snowy set of steps. Who was he, that sprite, the one with the big blue eyes like his mother? 

"Caleb." Spinelli muttered. The name appeared in his head out of nowhere. But…it fit.

Maxie turned back to him, confused. "What?"

"Caleb. What do you think about Caleb?" He tried the name out, liking the way his mouth formed the syllables. Maxie paused, pondering for a moment. She looked like she was holding her breath.

A small smile formed on her lips. "I like that. That's definitely making the short list."

For some reason, Spinelli was sure there wouldn't be any other names on the "short list". His son was named Caleb Spinelli. His mother was Maxie Jones, his father Damian Spinelli. His aunt 

was deceased, but she was an angel named Georgie. His adoptive uncle was Jason Morgan. That was his family. His parents were complete strangers before him and two trees intertwining after him. He was a miscalculated January night when two people hurt to bad to think. He somehow made two enemies shy friends, best friends, then lovers. His name was Caleb, that was sure, and it was a name whose definition couldn't even try to surpass the real meaning of his life.

And Spinelli loved him terribly. 

Maxie pulled the blankets over the two of them, burrowing back into his shoulder. Minutes passed. Spinelli could feel the sleep washing over him. He hoped Maxie wouldn't leave him if he did go to sleep. 

Clicking shoes sounded in the doorway. Spinelli's eyes flew open.

There was a beep, and a flash. 

Flash of light, quick burst of light, just enough to do the job, along with a firecracker. "Aww, Spinelli, you had to open your eyes…the two of you looked so cute…" Robin's voice registered but didn't connect with him.

A ceiling fan and a puddle of red, the tips of his fingers sinking down down down into red.

"Hi Robin! You should know, Spin hates getting his picture taken."

And pain, so much pain, and blood in his mouth, pennies swilling around his tongue.

"I just saw the two of you like that and wanted a picture, it was too cute."

Jason's eyes, Jason's eyes telling him that it was not okay, no not at all.

"Robin you've gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw you…have you found out if it's a girl or a boy or not?"

And why was there no air? No air at all.

"No, I want it to be a surprise."

Scared blue eyes above him, someone he recognized, but almost didn't care enough to fight for, not at that point, because it hurt too bad. 

"Aw, well, we couldn't be patient like you. It's a boy!"

Spinelli was sure his palms must have been bleeding from digging his nails into them. He couldn't hold in the anxiety anymore. Maxie noticed something was wrong as his body jerked from nerves. Feeling him tense, Maxie tilted her head up at him, concern etched across her face.

"Something wrong Spin?"

Everything. Everything was wrong. She couldn't see the rubies running down the wall.

Smiling and shaking his head, Spinelli lied. "I'm fine. Fine. "

She stretched and kissed his cheek. He'd convinced her nothing was wrong. She didn't need to stress about this, he had it under control.

Yet gunshots were still sounding in his head.

----

**A/N: I didn't intend to update this week but I've had more free time than expected! Thanks to Evelyn for helping me with this chapter. **

**Everyone like those potential baby names? Wink wink. The clever ones will see the pattern.**

**So what do you think! About the baby, the name, the stress, my lovely trees finally intertwining? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Long reviews bring faster updates I've noticed!**

**Spixie fans, keep up your awesome work! Bumb vote call write email!**

**Next Chapter: Hospitals and hacking. **


	20. Fighting and Losing

**The Luckiest **

**Chapter 20: Fighting and Losing**

"I am the best person ever."

Maxie pranced into the hospital room lightly carrying a bag of goodies. At the sight of her Spinelli quickly pushed himself up from the bed, obviously stronger than he'd been all week. Her heart leapt at his smile.

"The Jackal doesn't disagree with that statement but his scientific mind demands proof."

Plopping down on the side of his bed, Maxie yanked the bag up next to her but out of his reach. What thing should she give him first? Her legs swung back and forth over the edge of the bed, excitement at being able to make him happier running through her veins. Grabbing blindly into the bag, Maxie's hands clasped the thing he probably needed the most.

"What's in the bag?"

With a flourish, Maxie revealed a black and grey striped beanie, pulling it over his messy hair quickly. The hair that stuck up from under the beanie was quickly pushed by her tiny hands into a stylish and edgy direction as opposed to one big mess of hair. Spinelli rapidly blinked as her fingers danced over the bangs at his forehead.

"There you go. Now you look like The Jackal again." Maxie pulled his face towards hers for a quick peck, lingering just a second longer than she'd intended before finally breaking away. She went back into the bag, Spinelli scooting closer to her, resting his chin on her shoulder. He reached around her with a shaking hand, resting it on her stomach. Pausing her search for her next surprise, Maxie cocked her head to look at him.

"Why are your hands shaking?" Maxie snatched the pulsing digits, turning them over and back again as they quivered. Spinelli pulled them briskly away from her investigating eyes.

"Probably the medication or something…" Spinelli shrugged. Maxie eyed him wearily. Days spent at his hospital bed seeing him alive and well couldn't shake her irrational fear about losing him. Smiling, Spinelli could obviously tell by her expression that she was worried.

"The Jackal is the essence of health, Sassy Max. Promise. I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

Taking him at his word, Maxie sighed a little, her frustration easing off her shoulders as she remembered the task at hand. A bottle and a small bag found her grasp. She set the items in Spinelli's lap and watched his eyes light up.

"Sweet, Fair, Lovely, Sassy Maxie you brought me the best gift ever." Spinelli pulled open bag of barbeque chips, quickly munching down on one. After devouring his first chip he pulled out a second and waved it under her nose tauntingly. Her teeth snatched it from his grasp, making him 

laugh a little before grabbing more for himself. It made a her nervous, the way his hands quaked as he brought the chip from the bag to his mouth. She should ask his doctor if that was right. He'd been on the medication for days now and hadn't been that way at all.

"You're sure your okay?"

"Yes, Maxie," Spinelli snapped, adjusting his beanie. "I got shot, give me some time to get better." The hollow tone in his voice upset her. He twitched a little speaking the words. Maxie was pretty sure Spinelli hadn't spoken to her like that since the days when they couldn't stand one another.

"Well you're pissy today." Maxie quipped back. Making a motion to stand, Spinelli grabbed her wrist.

"No, Maxie…I'm sorry…" His voice pleaded with her now. Maxie sat back down heavily, pursing her crimson lips. Snaking his fingers in between hers, he continued. "I don't want you worrying about me, I'm fine."

The sea was greyer today, clouds brewing in his eyes. She knew he didn't mean to hurt her like that. He didn't like to show weakness. Having to admit that he was still recuperating must have bothered the hell out of him. Maxie pushed him over a little, sitting next to him in the bed. Pulling the bag into the bed with both of them, Maxie revealed his last gift to him, hoping to change the subject.

"I brought your baby."

She plopped the laptop in front of him. "Show me a trick."

Spinelli laughed, opening the lid and turning on the laptop quickly. His hands floated over the keyboard, waiting as the computer booted. She couldn't take her eyes off the quivering digits. Leaning onto his shoulder, her worries stressing her a little bit, Maxie felt reassured when Spinelli tipped his head onto hers. He must have been able to read her mind; there was no other explanation for his innate ability to comfort her at the moment she needed him to.

"Now, Sassy Max…You cannot just learn the ways of the Jackal in one sitting…but I can hack something for you if you want me to."

"Yup. Do something cool."

Spinelli laughed a little. "What's your favorite store?"

Maxie sighed. Just one? "Well…I don't know…There are these really great shoes at Niemen's…"

Tilting her head up, Maxie saw his eyes flash wickedly. So that was The Jackal. His fingertips danced quickly over the keyboard, weird screens coming up with even weirder codes. Numbers, 

words, phrases, symbols…He really was a genius for remembering it all. Maxie rubbed her stomach absentmindedly, already a little intimidated at the thought that her baby could be smarter than her by the age of five.

"What are you doing?" She muttered. He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. Running a hand through his hair, Maxie caught the strange shift in him.

"What's wrong?"

Spinelli glanced down at her quickly, pressing a kiss into her temple before going back to his keyboard. "Nothing, love. Just forgot what I was supposed to do next. Stop worrying about me."

Maxie melted. Nothing, love. Love? Was that her? He could keep calling her that, it would be fine with her. Spinelli looked as though he was done with whatever he'd been working on. Glancing at the clock quickly, Spinelli looked satisfied.

"Go to Niemen's, now. You have exactly one hour."

"To do what?"

"All the shoes in the store are marked down 80" Spinelli pursed his lips and waited for her to figure out what he meant.

Maxie hesitated. "No way."

Spinelli nodded. "Way."

Standing up quickly, Maxie found her purse and bounced towards the doorway. Pausing, she spun around again.

"Really?"

Spinelli nodded quickly. "Yes!"

Squealing a little, Maxie rushed back over to his bedside and stole a kiss from him before heading out the door again.

Spinelli watched her leave the room, so happy and full of life. Come back, please, please come back. Putting the laptop on his bedside table, he couldn't help but selfishly wish he hadn't sent her away.

Little did she know, he couldn't explain why his hands were shaking. Ever since he'd woken up he'd felt this horrible sensation in his chest, like one might feel if they were startled or heard bad news. His heart kept sinking, but on repeat. It didn't help that all night the nurses had been coming in and startling him out of his sleep to check his vitals and give him his meds.

He just couldn't get a break from this stupid irrational thing crawling in his chest. Maxie had been the first relief he'd had all day. What could he possibly be afraid of with her bluest sky staring into his eyes? But she was gone now, and he could feel it coming back.

Say something, you idiot. Tell someone something is wrong.

No, no, no. No one was going to get worried, no one was going to fret, he could deal with this. It wasn't like feelings could actually, you know, hurt someone. They were just thoughts. He just needed to keep them under control.

It wasn't even that bad right now…he was probably getting over it already. A knock at the door made his stomach flip flop. Cool it, people are here.

"Blonde One." Spinelli smiled as his friend came into the door. Lulu grinned back at him before pulling up a chair next to his bed. She sat cross-legged in the chair, balancing her purse in her lap.

"How's it going Spinelli? You look really good today. Feeling stronger?"

Spinelli glanced down at his shaking hands quickly and crossed them over his chest. Feeling stronger? No. Stop it stop it stop it.

"Feeling a lot better. You can't keep the Jackal down for too long. He is fortitude of strength."

Lulu laughed. "Don't I know it..." Reaching up to pull her hair behind her ear, her red beaded bracelet glinted in the sunlight streaming in the window. Quick flash of light. Spinelli bent his head from her gaze quickly. Just take a second. Breathe in. Think of something else. Something else. Something else besides the red. Think quickly.

"You owe me five bucks Blonde One." Spinelli remembered, spouting the words. Yes. Good job. The baby. Think about the baby. Think about Caleb.

"What?" Lulu asked, perplexed, shifting in the seat. Spinelli glanced at his heart monitor and was glad that the numbers weren't too elevated.

"Our bet, remember? You believed that the wee one was going to be a wee girl." Spinelli smiled at her, smiling at the thought of his son, smiling at the thought of getting away with faking contentedness. Contradiction.

Her eyes grew wide, mouth falling open. "No way. You found out already? Why didn't you call me?"

With both arms crossed in front of him, Spinelli felt slightly annoyed at the pounding in chest, radiating through his hospital gown, beating a pattern into the flesh of his arms. You weren't supposed to feel your own existence ticking away, it wasn't right. Like laying on the ground, your blood leaking down your side. Jason said to stay awake…

"The Jackal wanted his money in person."

"Oh my god, Spinelli, this is so much more real." Lulu covered a hand with her mouth, the bracelet glinting at him.

"Yeah, I know." The little red beads were fascinating.

Lulu sighed kind of heavily, drawing him out of his dark worship. He could sense something was wrong. Oh…

"Lulu…we don't have to talk about the baby if you don't want to."

Shaking her head furiously, Lulu quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She stood from the seat and sat down next to him on the bed, gently hugging him. Spinelli slowly wrapped his arms around her, hating the fact that he'd upset her. He was useless.

"I'm so excited for you, Spinelli," Lulu muttered by his ear. "You seem so happy. I like seeing you happy."

She pulled away but stayed seated next to him, resting her hand on his. Damn it. Spinelli saw her eyebrows raise in concern. He sighed, preparing himself for the standard reaction to the quaking he couldn't stop.

"You're hands are shaking."

Yeah I noticed, why did every damned person have to keep pointing it out?

Where the hell had that come from?

"It's the medication," Spinelli lied, lied, lied. No, it was his heart sinking.

"Oh." Lulu pat his hands. "Well, hopefully you'll be off of them soon enough. You're going home soon right?"

Spinelli blinked at her. Oh, the real world. Yes. No more quiet hospital room. If he was this wound up now…

"Yes, I'm being released tomorrow afternoon. Maxie's picking me up and taking me back to the penthouse."

Scoffing for a second, Lulu stood and plopped back into the seat next to his bed. Spinelli wouldn't ever be able to convince her that Maxie was the best thing that had ever happened to him. His heart stopped sinking at the thought of her. When she was around he felt so much better. This…anxiousness…whatever it was…She distracted him from it, at least most of the time. It was sensory overload when she was around. No room for this stupid thing to keep talking to him.

Yes, think about Maxie. Pretty Maxie. The smell of her hair close to his face, the taste of her lip-gloss, cheery flavored lip-gloss. Tangle hands in her sunshine hair and let the day begin. Curves pressing close but not close enough. His strange little family…

"I don't get the two of you." Lulu muttered. Her tone wasn't hateful, but it wasn't pleasant either.

"I don't get us either." Spinelli replied. His heart wasn't beating so badly now. Yes, come down Damian, join the world. Maxie Maxie Maxie.

"You know what though?"

"What?"

"I think your son is going to be ridiculously cute."

Spinelli didn't feel the burning in his chest anymore. For the first time since Maxie had left him things were quiet again, finally. He was getting better, surely. He just needed to get through this little bout with anxiety, calm down fully, take a few deep breaths. Yeah. He was going to be fine. Plus, all the pain killers running through his veins didn't help him much. They were tickling the corners of his eyes. Once those were out of his system it was all going to be better.

What was she talking about?

Oh, yeah. His son.

"You think he'll take after his paternal unit in the looks department?" Spinelli laughed a little, mostly enjoying the feeling of air rushing through his lungs without burning. So much better now. Maxie Maxie Maxie.

Grinning widely, Lulu bobbed her head. "I can kind of picture you and Maxie meshing together…It's a challenge for me to think anything good about Maxie, but yeah…I can kind of see this little gangly kid running around with messy hair. Wait, scratch the messy hair. He'll be wearing a beanie."

Caleb.

"Hopefully the mini Jackal will be less socially awkward…" Spinelli picked at a fraying thread on his sheets.

"Oh, he'll be just like you. I'd rather he be just like you then just like Maxie." Lulu grumbled.

Spinelli pictured Caleb. "I just want him to be whoever he wants to be." It was the honest truth. Spinelli knew what it was like for people to expect things of you. Be normal, talk normally, act normally, dress normally. Everything he did felt normal, that was the problem. Adjusting the 

beanie Maxie had brought him, Spinelli was grateful that the mother of his child accepted his abnormal behavior.

"Awww…Spinelli...You're going to be, like, the best dad. I can see it now. I'll be working at Kelly's and you'll wheel him in the door in his stroller and you'll hack on your computer while the baby is just minding his own business…soon enough you'll be pulling him into your lap and letting him type out some codes."

Lulu burst out laughing and Spinelli couldn't help but follow suit. He laughed so hard that his stomach clenched, heaving a little for air. Lulu had her face buried in her hands, her body shaking from big belly laughs.

"And then…and then…" Lulu tried to speak, gasping for breath. "And then you will speaking to him like you always do…His vocabulary will better than mine by the age of two!"

"Maxie will need an interpreter…" Spinelli sputtered out, tears burning in his eyes. He couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard, all of the bad thoughts escaping him. It was such a relief. Yes, he was going to be fine.

Pain shot through his chest.

"Ahaah…" Spinelli groaned, clenching at the spot that was covered by a bandage. An itching sensation traveled up his throat triggering a coughing fit. It wasn't horrible pain, but the tightness was enough to set his nerves off. Too much exertion too early. Lulu jumped up and placed and hand on his back.

"You okay?" She asked as the itching subsided enough for coughing to stop. He nodded and lay back on the pillows, exhausted. Lulu leaned over him, looking concerned.

"You want some water?" Lulu asked. He nodded his head, pushing the button on the side of his bed to sit up properly. She went to the counter and filled up a cup of water.

"Putting my waitress skills to work," Lulu laughed a little, handing the cup to him. He reached out a shaking hand and tried to grasp the drink. Lulu must have thought he had a grip on it, but neither of them really did. The water slipped through both their hands and flopped into his lap.

The water spilled all over his blankets.

Red. Red sinking into the white perfect sheets. Splashed on to his hands, little red rubies. A puddle of red in his lap.

"Spinelli! I'm sorry…"

Get the damned blood off of him!

It was soaking in, it was touching his skin, get it away!

Lulu suddenly coming towards him with paper towels.

"Don't touch it!" Spinelli yelled. He snatched them from her hands and quickly got the red off of his skin, had to get the red off of him. Quickly patting the sheets with the paper towel he soaked up clear water. Where did the red go? Spinelli paused, turning the towel over and over for a second.

"Spinelli…"

Glancing up at her, Spinelli took a deep breath. "Sorry, Blonde One. The water just startled me a little..."

"I'm sorry." Lulu said, taking the paper towels from his hand. She had a worried expression on her face.

"No, it's okay. The Jackal is fine. Perfectly fine."

The damned rubies started slipping down the wall again.

Author's note: Like Bradford said, don't lose faith Spixie fans! We have to keep doing what we are doing if we really want this pairing. Keep up the awesome job with your support. Also, if you are interested in being involved a campaign to bring back the classic focus of GH (romance, relationships, families, and connections) then I urge you to get in contact with Katlyn who is leading the whole thing. Her email is calichick91089 at hotmail dot com.

In other news, I'm sorry this update took so long. I had lots of stuff going on. I did cut the Michael thing, I'm holding off on that scene. BUT I would love to hear what you think about the chapter!! I'm a little worried about the slow response to the last chapter…makes me concerned that the stuff I'm writing isn't sitting well with people.

Next Chapter: Ever wonder what happened back on that miscalculated January night? You're about to find out. Chapter title: Deja Vu


	21. Deja Vu

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 21: Déjà vu**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Things in BOLD flashbacks to a certain night**.

Maxie opened the door to his room and he followed her in. Back home. Spinelli sighed. Home sure, but he didn't feel the least bit content. His nerves were on end and exhaustion was setting in from the simple task of walking around. Maxie kept his distracted from the pain that sat just under his heart, pain that wasn't really there but still drove him crazy.

"What's this?" Maxie pondered, setting her bags down on the ground and pointing at a white box lying on his bed. He hadn't remembered that being there.

"The Jackal has no possible clue," Spinelli replied, wandering over to the bed. His shaking hands frustrated him as he tried to open the box. It was one that you might get at a clothing store, but who would be buying clothes for him? Whatever it was, it was heavy. As he pulled back the paper inside, Spinelli registered the smell of leather hitting his nose.

A leather jacket, lay in the box, not quite like the one Jason wore but pretty close. Spinelli paused for a second, taking in what it meant. Jason had promised him that if he'd stayed conscious, Spinelli would have one of those jackets for himself. He'd tried to give Spinelli something to look forward to.

"Wow. That looks expensive…" Maxie muttered. "Where'd it come from?"

He didn't have to fake the smile that was creeping across his face.

"Uhmm…" Spinelli tried to think of something to say. Maxie wouldn't understand. "Stone Cold said he'd order me one…He gets a discount, you know…all he wears are those t-shirts and leather jackets." His mentor was strange like that. Spinelli managed to smile a little.

Maxie laughed, pulling him close to her. "Jason's not going to have a problem with me staying here to take care of you, right?" Spinelli wrapped his arms around her. She wasn't going anywhere. Not yet. Not until he could manage the stress in his head on his own.

"Stone Cold will be cool with it, Sassy Max."

"Good. Cuz I'm not going anywhere." Maxie mumbled into his chest. She wouldn't ever know how much that meant to him. How many other people left him? Spinelli could picture several backs turning on him, one following the other in a perfect line out the door and out of his life. 

Not her, no this miracle in his arms. Maxie looked up at him, a sincere look in her eyes that he couldn't remember ever seeing before.

"Don't you ever leave me again." Biting her bottom lip, obviously holding back emotions creeping to the surface, Maxie asked him for a promise. He would give her anything she wanted, would that be enough for her? Pushing soft strands of hair out of her face, Spinelli wondered if she really thought it would be possible for him to leave her. It was physically impossible. She had his heart, body, and soul.

"I can't…" he explained to her, hoping she knew what he meant. Maxie grinned, her eyes sparkling a little.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, the stress, the exhaustion from simply being up and about for the first time in a week, but Spinelli couldn't hold on to her anymore. Sinking down Spinelli sat heavily on the edge of the bed, Maxie's pregnant stomach at his eye level. Tiredly, he leaned into her and rested his temple on the hill, wishing the wait to hold his son was over. Maxie ran her fingers lightly through his hair, but Spinelli felt numb to her touch.

His heart started sinking again. No, not now. Not now…couldn't he have peace for just this moment?

"You should talk to him, Spinelli."

Maxie, yes of course. Lovely Maxie knew what she was talking about.

"Hi…" He mumbled against her silk blouse, putting his hands on either side of her waist. Spinelli sighed, the air rushing past his sinking heart. Out of the corner of his eye he was almost positive he could see something red and glittering on the wall. He wasn't going to be able to escape this stupid thing, was he?

"Caleb," Spinelli continued, closing his eyes to the hallucination. "The madness is over, it's time to move on with our lives again…This…stress…we just all need to remember to take the time to breathe…"

His little boy couldn't hear him, he knew that. Just saying some of the things that were rattling around in his head to someone who wouldn't pry or tell someone else…Spinelli couldn't help but confide in him. The figure who waited with Georgie on the steps of the park seemed like someone who would take a secret to the grave.

"…And I can't wait to see you again…" Spinelli croaked, surprised that a tear fell down his face. He hadn't even registered feeling that emotional. He was connected, and disconnected, and unconnected.

"See him again?"

Spinelli didn't know how to get out of that slip up. "Uh…you know…the next ultrasound."

"Something wrong, Spinelli?" Maxie inquired gently.

"I'm just…drained."

"You've really kept your Jackalisms to a minimum today…I thought maybe your were upset or something."

"I'm fine."

Maxie tilted his head up. She looked concerned. "I'm not being a very good nurse, am I?"

A single laugh puffed through his lips. "What do you mean, Max?"

Something about the glow in her eyes made him think the Bad Blonde One had taken over. She grinned at him before letting go of him and sitting down next to him on the bed. Tiny fingers traced up his arm.

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you." Maxie positively purred this, leaning over brush her lips across his cheek, inching down to his ever hungry lips. Oh this, this was wonderful. She was the best medicine. His eyes closed, letting her freeze the burning in his heart. Teeth and tongue fought in a sweet battle to be there, to be closer. This felt different from their innocent kissing in the hospital.

Maxie took advantage of the fact she was sitting on his right side, the side where he'd taken the bullet. The muscles in his chest were too weak to even try to fight against the way she leaned into him, pushing him back onto the bed. This felt oddly familiar. She sent the signals that told him to scoot properly all the way back onto the pillows, she wanted more room. He could give her that.

Oh yes, this felt familiar.

A giggle passed from Maxie's lips, rippling through her body, such delight the most beautiful sound he'd heard all day. She kept most of her weight off of him, probably trying to figure out what to do with the large obstruction that was her stomach.

The small of her back became the home for his hands, soft skin peeking out from under the blouse that was inching up her back from their movements. Her hair tickled his face, sweet perfume making a mockery of any flower's claim to natural loveliness. Sensory overload seemed to be jogging his memory.

The lonely January night they'd spent together flashed in mind…

**He didn't know what to do with his hands. She had hers firmly locked at the sides of his face and she knew exactly what she was doing. Her body pressed as close to his as **

**physically possible, he was taking her air, warmth, energy. But he still didn't know what to do with his hands. **

**Unsure, Spinelli let his fingertips hover at the sides of her hips, right over the place where the bottom of her sweater met the top of her jeans. His thumbs grazed soft cotton, the sides of his palms brushing denim. Pushing their kiss even deeper than he thought possible, Maxie raked both hands through his hair, something so unexpected for him that it sent shivers down his back. He had no choice but to cling to her then, if only to stop falling. **

**Spinelli found his hands tangled in the bottom of the sky blue sweater. She hadn't stopped him from claiming it as his own, but he froze, not knowing what to do with it. What did she want him to do with it? The handful of her clothing confused and scared him. This was a boundary, and he didn't know if he could cross it.**

**Maxie pulled away from him, panting, her hot breath brushing past his face. Resting her head on his shoulder, she pressed another kiss into his neck. Spinelli sighed heavily, trying to catch his own breath. She was messing with his head. **

**Sensing his hesitation, Maxie crept kisses up his neck, pausing at his lips for another round. He gazed at her, begging for an explanation, instructions, anything. She'd told him not to think, so he wouldn't, but he still needed to know what to do with her.**

"**Please, Spinelli," Maxie muttered, lightly kissing his lips, some might have even called it a gentle kiss. That 'please' didn't mean 'please make love to me', or 'please give me tonight'. It was 'please, just agree with me on this one simple thing'. So, she wasn't asking for much, really. What they were agreeing to, he had no idea… As long as her expectations weren't perfection…**

"**Okay…" Spinelli complied. He still had a tight grip on her sweater, but his arms were pulling it up her body before he realized they'd been given permission. Maxie helped him take the rest of it off, glad to be rid of the item that once belonged to the sister she mourned tonight. There wasn't much light streaming in through his bedroom window, but the moon glowed just enough to let him see the body that would haunt him for eternity. She leaned in for another kiss, but Spinelli dodged her lips. Instead, he left his own trail from her collarbone to her jaw line, too weak to hesitate any longer.**

* * *

Maxie loved making Spinelli squirm, his shudders and twitches and squeaks somehow incredibly attractive to her. He'd been mellow all day long, seeing some reaction come out of him like this was wonderful. It was awkward, trying to find a way to be close to him and not feel like she would squish their baby. Probably more likely was that she would somehow manage to pop one of Spinelli's stitches, so she had to find a way to be gentle with him.

He was being his usual polite self, even after knowing she was his for the taking if he wanted to. She led the kissing while he simply let his hands rest on her back. When he was healthier Maxie 

would have to give him lessons in being assertive. Spinelli had been extremely hesitant their first time together, understandably so, but that could not be a pattern.

She broke away from him slightly, needing a little air. Sneaking her hand down his chest, Maxie picked on the buttons of his shirt. They popped open easily.

This was like déjà vu.

* * *

**He shuddered when she tugged at the bottom his t-shirt. What was she doing? Oh, who cares, they were too far gone now. It was good that it was dark, Maxie didn't want him to know how hard she was blushing. Maxie kept fighting the battle between herself and the shirt that just did not want to free itself from his body. **

**Spinelli grabbed her wrist and pushed it away from his chest. Weren't they past this hesitancy thing already? He'd taken off her sweater, only a few more things standing in the way. **

"**Are you sure?" He asked, begging for a sturdy answer. There was such disbelief in his voice that Maxie was a little taken aback. **

**Hell no, she wasn't sure. But she pulled his shirt over his head anyway.**

* * *

The last button was freed and Maxie made a move to liberate the wearer. Spinelli's hand snuck back around to her front, resting on the hill over her stomach. He suddenly yelped, pulling away from her kiss.

"What?" Maxie asked quickly, afraid she'd hurt him. They'd just been kissing! She'd been gentle with him too. Oh, god, if she'd harmed him…

Spinelli had one hand on her stomach, the other pressing into his eyes. He panted, shaking his head from side to side.

"We have to stop." Spinelli spoke softly.

"You're okay? Did…did I pop one of your stitches or something?" Her voice squeaked.

"No, no…I'm fine…" His hand rubbed her stomach. "I just…I just can't be with you."

Spinelli…was rejecting her? "What? Do you not find me attractive? Am I not pretty anymore because I'm bloated out like this? Spinelli, what the hell?" She couldn't help but be completely offended.

Spinelli peaked out at her from his hands. "Oh my god, Maxie…You…you are the most beautiful person I have ever known, I love you so much…"

"Well then what?"

Sighing, Spinelli pushed his hair out of his eyes nervously. "I just feel…I…I just feel like we are seriously, seriously lacking privacy."

Pointing to her stomach, it took Maxie a second to register what he meant. Within another second, Maxie had rolled to Spinelli's side, boiling over with laughter. She curled into him, burying her face in his chest, her chuckles muffled.

"What?" Spinelli asked, a smile in his tone.

"Spinelli…I love you…" Maxie wrapped an arm around him, snuggling close.

"I'm sorry…I j-just wouldn't….it wouldn't f-feel right," he stuttered.

Maxie entangled their legs, stealing his warmth as she pressed as close to him as possible. She could hear his racing heartbeat pulse along beneath her. He was alive, he was hers, and they could wait. The sound of rain hitting the window sent her into a peaceful place. They lay there for a moment in silence, catching their breath.

"It's going to be a long pregnancy…" Maxie muttered jokingly. Spinelli snorted and wrapped and arm around her.

**They were both quiet. They'd unmade the bed, now it was time for them to lay in it. Maxie felt her heart slowly coming down from its racing high. She scooted away from him, feeling as though he probably wanted some space. Maxie closed her eyes and thought about what had just transpired. Whatever…she couldn't change it now…**

**Spinelli pulled up the blankets around her, almost as if tucking her in. It was like he felt the need to take care of her, to make sure she was okay. Maxie watched his face in the dark, seeing all sorts of thoughts going on behinds the eyes that just barely shown in the tiny glow from the window. **

"**Good…goodnight." He whispered, turning his back to her. This had to be the gentlest soul she'd ever known. If she was destined to make this mistake on this night, at least it was with him. **

* * *

Spinelli sat on the edge of his bed, putting on a sock with shaking hands. For a single moment last night while wrapped in Maxie's arms he thought that maybe he would be okay. Instead, the first thought that raced through his mind that morning was the look on Jason's face when he'd seen him shot. Why couldn't he just get over it? He survived, he was okay, and things should be getting back to normal.

He started working on lacing up his shoes but failed miserably. After a few moments of the laces slipping through his fingers Spinelli bowed his head into his arms, his face tingling. He'd done some research on anxiety in the hospital after Maxie brought him his laptop. All that he'd found out was that he just needed to let it pass; there wasn't anything he could do without going to a doctor and getting medication. That was out of the question.

"Breathe, damn it." He said to himself. Kicking off his shoes, Spinelli stood and walked blindly to the door, gripping the railing to guide him down the steps. Maxie sitting on the couch watching television came into his view. Taking a deep breath, Spinelli tried to calm himself enough to pass in front of her watchful gaze without worrying her.

"Good morning, Spin!" Maxie chirped, reaching out both her arms for him to hold her. He gladly fell into her arms, waiting for the inevitable peace that she brought to him. Suddenly a boom sounded in the room, making him jump from her embrace. Looking around for the source of the sound, Spinelli was shocked to realize the movie Maxie was watching now displayed a man shot to the ground dead.

"How can you watch this?" He asked her, angered.

"What? It's just a movie, Spin…" Maxie moved away from him, startled.

"Very entertaining." Stop it, she didn't mean any harm. Stop it stop it stop it.

"Spinelli, I'm not allowed to watch movies now?"

"Do whatever you want," he spat at her, watching the red blood on the screen. He couldn't look away.

"Don't you talk to me that way," Maxie stood up and left the room. Spinelli couldn't have felt worse. She didn't do anything to him, this was his problem and he was taking it out on her. Spinelli smacked his head, wishing the thoughts out of him. His entire goal in life at that moment was to keep her happy and content, to keep her from being upset and afraid. So far, he'd just pissed her off.

He stood quickly, about to go after her and apologize, even grovel if he had to. At the base of the stairs he quickly saw a puddle of red. Blinking quickly it was gone. Stumbling backwards, he closed his eyes to the world, its stupid ghosts, everything. What a weak, pathetic thing he was.

"Get out of my head…get out of my head…"

* * *

**A/N: OKAY…so…I'm concerned about this chapter because it's darker than anything I've written. And…it's only going to get darker…I'm leading up to the next plot twist. The next chapter will be the buildup, and then the one after that will be the plot twist, leading the story in a new direction. Please, please give me your thoughts. Spinelli's anxiety is going to get much **

**worse before it gets better, I can promise that. IT IS ALL LEADING TO SOMETHING HUGE, PLEASE TRUST ME ON THAT. I'll give you a hint: family.**

**Next Chapter: Spin and Maxie beat the heat at the pool. Marco….Polo!**


	22. Almost

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 22: Almost**

"I feel all domesticated." Maxie laughed to herself, staring through the oven at the biscuits rising. Sure, they were just the biscuits-from-a-tube, the ones you had to pop into the oven, but Maxie couldn't help but feel accomplished at her first attempt at familial duties. No, she wouldn't be some little housewife, strand of pearls and apron around her waist, that was for sure, but she did enjoy trying on the roll of caregiver for a change. _Once the baby is here you'll be caregiver every day_, Maxie thought to herself. Her stomach flip flopped a little. It was a scary thought. She was just getting used to taking care of herself. _Spinelli will be there, though, you won't be alone_.

Quiet footsteps sounded behind her, but before she could turn around a gentle hand was on her waist. Spinelli kissed the side of her head, leaning into her a little.

"Hi…" he muttered softly against her hair. Maxie's heart sank. He wasn't acting right. She could hear it in his tone. Turning around slowly, Maxie glanced into his eyes and didn't like what she saw. Or, rather, she didn't like what she couldn't see. He was so tired looking, and weak too. Where was her sparkling friend? Where was her bounding, lively, playful love? It hadn't even been two weeks since he's been shot, but he'd been happier in the first day of his recuperation in the hospital than he seemed at that moment.

"What's wrong?" Maxie inquired, brushing some hair out of his face. He shook his head, averting her eyes.

"I'm tired…It's okay, I'm fine."

Smoothing down the wrinkles in his shirt, Maxie decided not to pry. He never liked pointing out feeling weak, probably having something to do with his hero-worship of the always strong Jason Morgan. Grabbing for his hand, Maxie interlocked their hands and tugged him over to the kitchen table. She pulled out a chair for him and gently nudged him down into it, much to his confusion.

"What are you doing, Devious One?" Spinelli asked, his use of a Jackalism making her so happy. As confusing as his vocabulary was at times, it was a part of him, and when he just stopped saying them like he had the past few days Maxie had become worried. She wondered if her face was lit up from the happiness that little phrase gave her. Maybe she was just seeing things and he really was fine. After all, she'd nearly lost him, it would take her a while to stop worrying so much about him.

Clapping her hands together, Maxie couldn't hold in her excitement much more. "I have biscuits in the oven."

Spinelli snorted. "I must object, but I believe the phrase is 'bun in the oven'."

Smacking his shoulder, Maxie gave him a glare. "No, really. I'm making breakfast."

His face fell a little. "Oh. Okay…I hope you didn't go through a lot of trouble."

"No trouble, Spinny." Maxie tried to pick at this hair, moving it out of the way of his pretty eyes. She would swear he could see through her with those eyes. Sometimes Maxie wished she was able to read him just as well. He was a tough cookie though, all of his expressions displayed more in his walk, his tone, the way he entered a room.

"I'm just…not really hungry," Spinelli admitted, biting his lip. He ran a hand down her arm apologetically. Maxie sighed, a little disappointed.

"Well…okay then. I'm going to have biscuit and a strawberry smoothie…and if you want one you can have one too okay?"

Spinelli nodded. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize." Maxie quickly kissed him on the cheek and headed back into the kitchen.

Spinelli sighed heavily as Maxie left the room, setting his head down on the edge of the table. He didn't want to be up. No, he wanted to be back in his warm bed with the covers pulled over his head, breathing his own hot air over and over again. Instead he was sitting in a brightly lit room with his heart plummeting on repeat. If anyone ever asked what it felt like to be anxious like him, that is what he would tell them. Imagine the heart that beats in your chest sinking as it would if something startling happened…then imagine that feeling never stopping.

After a few days of this he couldn't sleep without the sensation pulling him away from dreams. For hours last night he lay awake next to Maxie, wishing she would wake up too and talk to him. No luck. Instead he just buried his face into the pillows and silently screamed, pushing air from his lungs into the cotton linen to release the tension in his chest. It was lonely, falling. Always falling down down down. All of his senses were dulled and heightened at the same time, the world practically buzzing around him.

This morning was worst of all, a queasy quaking in his stomach. Sweet Maxie wanted to surprise him with breakfast, and he couldn't even give her that. Little flecks of dust glowed in the air. He tried to count them.

The blender went off in the kitchen, screaming with fury. Spinelli sat up quickly, jerking his neck painfully. The acid in his stomach started churning as his heart fell into it again, rolling his insides.

"Oh my gosh, I am the best smoothie maker." Maxie spoke loudly from the kitchen.

A moment later she was traipsing up to the table, a clear class filled with red strawberry drink inside. Plopping down in the chair next to him, Maxie eagerly started sipping on her concoction.

"Mmm…" Maxie smiled, satisfied. She held it out for him. "Wanna sip?"

The reddish pink substance under his gaze made his stomach turn even more. He flung himself out of the chair before even realizing what he was doing, taking the stairs two by two up to the bathroom.

"Spinelli?" Maxie called from behind him, but Spinelli couldn't stop and explain.

Spinelli leaned over the basin, heaving. When he was done he collapsed onto the ground, leaning into the counter by the sink. Drawing his knees up to his chest, Spinelli covered his mouth with his hands, breathing into them. If he had a paper bag it would be so much easier to stop hyperventilating. The air rushing past his falling heart made him want to vomit again.

Little taps on the bathroom door made him jerk his head into the counter. First a blender, a loud monstrous blender, now a stupid tap on the door? What would set him off next? The microscopic sound of Maxie batting her lashes at him?

"Spin?" Maxie's inquiring voice called from behind the door. Spinelli quickly brought his hands away from his face and straightened his clothes, preparing himself for her quick and unstoppable entrance.

"You okay?"

"Mmmhmm…"

Maxie peaked in the door, her face falling at the site of him sitting pathetically on the ground. Spinelli couldn't think of an excuse fast enough.

"You threw up?" Maxie stepped into the room, sitting down cross-legged in front of him. The worry was flickering in her blue gaze.

"I'm okay…"

Maxie pushed some hair out of his face. "I'm the only one allowed to get morning sickness around here…"

"It's…the pain meds…I took them on an empty stomach…" That was a lie. He hadn't touched his medication since they were prescribed to him. All he needed was some Vicodin messing with his head even worse than it already was. Maxie stood up quickly and went for a hand towel, dampening it a little in the sink before sitting back down in front of him. She gently wiped his face with the washcloth.

"You look really clammy…do you think you should go back to the hospital? Maybe they let you out too early…I don't think you have fever, so I guess nothing's infected…" Spinelli dodged a few of her swipes at him, feeling a little smothered.

"Sweet Maxie stop worrying, I'm fine."

Maxie sighed. "Spin, I believe you. I'm just…paranoid. I know you…you struggle I struggle, ya know?"

"I'm not struggling…" Spinelli bowed his head, unable to lie and look her in the eye.

"Sure you are," Maxie spoke lowly, petting the side of his face. "But that's okay…I see that you're tired and weak. You can admit that you're not feeling well to me…"

She had him there. "Yeah…yeah, I'm weak…" Was the resentment noticeable in his voice? Wow, since when was he so bitter?

"But you're stronger everyday!" Maxie kissed him on the cheek. "And you know what? I think we should take a trip out into the world so you can stretch your legs...get out of this penthouse."

Maxie pulled his hands out of his lap, pressing them into her stomach. Damn, she knew just how to manipulate him.

"…What do you have in mind?" He actually felt a small smile forming on the corner of his lips. That was a strange feeling.

"Well, you know they're finally done upgrading the Metrocourt Pool. I say we go there, relax a little bit, you can just lay out if you want to and I can work on my tan!"

"You're going to sunburn my first born…" Spinelli couldn't help but laugh. He was not exactly the 'lay out by the pool' kind of guy, but she sounded so excited.

Maxie pouted out her lips. "Spinelli…"

"Maxie…" he mimicked. She smiled wide, giving his heart a chance to skip a few beats instead of just jump down. This girl would be the end of him, and he couldn't help but wish she would be.

"See, you're already getting spunkier just mentioning the pool. We're going. I hope you have a little swimsuit."

Rolling his eyes, Spinelli grumbled. "Fairest sweetest loveliest Maxie…."

Maxie pursed her lips, a flash of the Sexy Bad Blonde One in her eyes.

"Picture me…in a hot little swimsuit…just getting out of the pool…"

Spinelli closed his eyes without meaning to, sinking into that vision. Damn her. It occurred to him that since beginning this conversation he hadn't noticed the quaking in his hands as much. 

Maybe she was right, he needed to try getting out into the world again. The penthouse gave him no real distractions…but the bright sunshine (and Maxie Jones) just might.

"Okay. I'll go," Spinelli conceded. Maxie grinned wickedly, leaning in on him seductively.

"Five months pregnant and I've still got it," Maxie murmured to him as she pressed a kiss on his cheek.

* * *

Maxie drug Spinelli by his hand through the lobby of the metro court out into the amazing pool. It was huge and had a tropical feel to it. Maxie felt like she was going on a mini-vacation (which, after all the drama in her life, she desperately needed). Spinelli looked cute in his board shorts and black t-shirt, almost out of character for him, and therefore much "cooler" than usual. She would start filtering in higher quality clothing into his wardrobe soon enough. Maybe just plain t-shirts at first, a subtle change, then perhaps a collared shirt or two. She didn't want to change him, but she wouldn't mind if he started dressing like someone's father and not just someone's kid brother.

She found a little spot for them to settle down at, a nice pool lounge chair for each of them on the edge of the pool. Spinelli sat down quickly and started brushing the hair out of his face nervously.

"Spinelli, sit back, relax, enjoy yourself."

"It's just weird…" Spinelli muttered, looking out at the pool.

"What?"

"Being out in the world."

Maxie considered him for a moment. He seemed distant. Maybe this was a bad idea. She just thought that if he had new scenery it might affect his mood. God, she couldn't do anything right.

"Do you want to go?" she asked.

"No, no no…." His face lit up suddenly. "I mean…I do feel a little better."

There was an amazed tone in his voice, one that Maxie couldn't help but be slightly amused at. Hah. Maybe she had done something good. Her confidence risen, Maxie decided to take advantage of his sudden change of attitude.

Slinking over to her own chair, Maxie not so subtlety started working on the tie around her waist that kept her wrap dress together. Spinelli's eyes were darting around, fixing on her and then averting into another random direction. Getting the knot undone, Maxie slowly took the dress off, revealing her black bathing suit underneath. It was a one piece, nothing too dramatic or 

overexposed, but her new baby body hadn't just made her stomach round, giving her new lovely curves that obviously caught Spinelli's attention. He blushed red before drooping his head.

"Damian Spinelli, were you eyeing me?" She teased.

Spinelli coughed. "Uhhhmm…"

"Mmmhmmm…just what I thought…"

Spotting a few other people entering the pool, Maxie felt her own face grow red. She sat down quickly next to Spinelli and covered herself with a towel, suddenly extremely self-conscious.

"What's wrong?" Spinelli asked quickly.

Maxie sighed. "I feel like a fat cow…" She drew the towel closer around her, eyeing the interlopers who had ruined her moment with Spinelli and sucked the confidence out of her. He gently wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him.

"Always Beautiful Blonde One…" He nuzzled her neck, settling his other hand on her stomach. "The Jackal finds you to be the most inherently lovely creature on the Earth, and I can assure you that has more to do with the sound of your laugh or the light in your smile than whether or not you are 'fat'."

Leaning into him, Maxie sighed. "You are a suck up, big time."

"No…I just can't even properly explain in words how beautiful you are…"

Maxie could feels her eyes burning. "You and your words…" She hoped joking with him would take the mood back to its happy place, not breaking down from the tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes as he drowned her with his love.

"My vocabulary isn't nearly as extensive as the love I have for you."

"Okay, now you are just being cheesy…"

"You are very pretty." He said simply, tapping her stomach with each word.

"Finally some diction I can understand."

"Diction? Now that is definitely one of my big words."

"I used it correctly, right?"

"You did."

Maxie tilted her head and kissed him deeply, taking in the feeling of normalcy finally stumbling back into the room. She pulled away from him with a final peck.

"I'm," she began, standing up and head toward the water. "Going in for a dip!"

Spinelli sat on the edge of the pool, his legs in the water, just watching Maxie float peacefully in the water. Her stomach, the little hill, poking up out of the water much to his amusement. She was so right, this was a great idea. He hadn't felt this good since the day Liz had doped him up on very powerful pain medication in the hospital.

Glancing down at his hands, he realized they weren't shaking nearly as badly as they usually did. Maybe it was the fresh air and sunshine, but things just looked clearer. Here was, in a big open space, exposed to all sorts of threats, and nothing was happening. Now, if he could only hold onto that peace…

Maxie began swimming over to him, her slicked back hair drawing all the attention to the wonderful curves in her face. As she drew nearer, Spinelli couldn't help but want to hold her to him.

"Marco…" she said, her eyes closed. He laughed a little.

"Polo," he replied softly.

Her arms extended out towards his direction. "Marco."

"Polo."

She drew nearer to him, almost at his feet. "Marco."

Spinelli didn't reply this time, simply watching her. Her arms swished through the water, feeling for him. Tapping on his shins, Maxie smiled and peeked open her eyes, her ice stare cooling him on an otherwise smoldering day. This girl played wicked games and didn't even know it.

"Come get in the water." She asked innocently.

Spinelli's hand inched over his chest, settling on the spot where he'd taken the bullet. He didn't know if he really wanted anyone to see the pink scar that was forming underneath his shirt. When getting dressed, he'd avoided looking at it. The spot where the bullet had entered was much neater than the exit wound on his back, a clean stitched up line versus the crooked mess that crawled down the flesh just missing his shoulder blade.

Maxie watched him, picking up on his focus. She tapped his foot playfully.

"Come on now, you've gotten a good look at me…I want to see some shirtless Spinelli action." Her words were double sided. She was clearly trying to assure him not to be self conscious just as he had done for her. If her reasons for feeling "fat" were just as silly as his for feeling "scarred" ….well….he should just get in the damn pool.

After another seconds hesitation, Spinelli tugged the shirt over his head, tossing it back over to their chairs. Sinking down into the water, Maxie bounced over to him and wrapped her arms around him. The bump pressed into his stomach, once again amazing him with its growth. They would be parents soon, he realized.

"We haven't really done much preparation for the baby have we…"

"There is still time…" Maxie replied into his chest. She avoided contact with the scar, he noticed. He didn't want to think about the scar, or the bullet, or the blood, not right now. His Maxie Jones was in his arms, that was his focus. No sinking heart for the first time in days, oh what a relief that was.

"We should probably start thinking about the important stuff though…schedules…living arrangements…buying wee stuff for wee Jackal."

"His name is Caleb." Maxie reminded him. They'd settled on the name in the hospital after tossing around a few more ideas that just didn't stick.

"Well…Wee Caleb's mommy and daddy need to think about what they're going to do…"

"I've already picked out some nursery stuff…"

"Then we should go acquire it and set it up." Spinelli replied lightly, feeling the normalcy of how the world worked set back into his system. He as the Jackal, she was Sassy Maxie, and that Caleb Jones Spinelli in her womb. Yes, this was a good idea. His world with all of its nicknames and characters started filing back into line. Sunshine and fresh air, a splendid cure for a sinking heart.

"I like this one rocking chair at this baby boutique…it's kind of expensive though."

"Doesn't matter…we can look at it." Spinelli kissed her temple. Maxie curled into him in such a way that he was practically cradling her.

"I want him to be like you," Maxie muttered. Spinelli's heart tingled, a good feeling. He didn't really know what to say to that, so for the first time in his life he simply said nothing. What could you say to that?

There was a little brown haired boy laughing on the other side of the pool with his father. Spinelli envied them a little, not just because he'd never had anything like that in his own life but because he couldn't wait to be with his own son. The boy had a red balloon tied around his wrist. 

Spinelli saw the red and flinched a little, but much to his surprise his stomach didn't turn. Maybe things were better already?

The boy's balloon touched the wall behind him and popped.

Quick flash of light, and pain, and red, and death. Spinelli clutched Maxie to him, his heart racing and sinking and racing and sinking. He felt something on his hands, the hands that were pressed into Maxie's back.

No no no no no…He peeled his hands away from her skin, looking down at hot sticky blood on his palms. The water around them flashed red. Shuddering, Spinelli closed his eyes to the disgusting world around him.

"Spin? Are you cold?"

Something in him snapped. He was too late, he'd waited too long, now the thing had grown legs and teeth and was brewing in him ready to take him over at any moment. If he thought he would get away with it, he would break down sobbing then and there. There was red everywhere, and now it even touched his always beautiful Maxie. She'd lost her ability to stop it all.

No one saw him cracking.

* * *

Maxie gave herself a final onceover in the mirror, checking to make sure her hair was in place and all her makeup was pristine. She would be working all day at the boutique, the first time she'd had a full shift since Spinelli's shooting. Guilt flitted in her head. He would be left all alone for the day and she knew he hated that. Sighing, Maxie reached for her bottle of vitamins but accidentally knocked them off the counter.

Reaching down to pick them up off the floor, Maxie became eyelevel with the trashcan. Something orange inside it caught her eye. It was the side of a prescription pill bottle.

If Spinelli had thrown away his medication bottle…that meant he was already done with them. Maxie's heart sank. He'd been out of the hospital only three days, that bottle had been half full. Her heart started racing. Spinelli wasn't getting high, was he? That would be ironic and yet oh so fitting. Maxie thought she was going to be sick.

He'd been shivering and nervous, and he definitely hadn't been acting like himself. Why though? Why would he do this to her? She wasn't strong enough to deal with another drug problem.

Reaching for the bottle, Maxie dug it out of the trashcan, instantly confused. It looked as full as it had been the day they'd picked the pills up at the pharmacy. That didn't make any sense; Spinelli had been blaming everything on the pills making him sick.

She read the side of the bottle. There were originally fifteen pills inside. Popping the lid open, Maxie dumped the pills out onto the counter and began hurriedly counting them.

1…2…3…Why would he say he was taking the meds if he wasn't?

4…5…6…If he wasn't taking them, why did he get sick yesterday?

7…8…9…He was acting different…distant…nervous…

10…11…12…He said it was the pills! Pills on an empty stomach…

13…14…15…He'd lied to her.

Spinelli had never lied to her. Staring at each little white tablet, Maxie was desperate for an explanation. If he was getting high, that would almost make sense. This…this did not make sense.

He was zoned out, tired, lethargic, unresponsive, nervous, and nauseated because of the pills. That's what he said. He'd said those words to her. They'd slipped from his mind to his tongue to her ears, leaving her with understanding and acceptance.

Then what in the hell were fifteen little Vicodin doing staring up at her tauntingly?

Maxie scooped the pills back in the bottle and bolted out the door and down the hallway, preparing herself to confront Spinelli about all of this. She pushed the door open to his room but froze in the doorway.

Spinelli lay there, sleeping, curled around a pillow, his hair pushed in all directions. The anger brewing in her skin started to dissipate. She couldn't barge in on him like this, all frustrated and confused. He probably had an explanation for not taking them, and even though he'd lied surely it wasn't out of meanness. Perhaps Spinelli had convinced himself that he was weak if he needed medication and maybe the pain was so bad that he was distracted and sick. That was extremely possible.

Hesitating, Maxie tried to decide what to do. Should she wait until later when she was calmer to talk to him? As if chiming in his own opinion, the baby kicked a little. Rubbing the little spot where her son called out to her, Maxie conceded. Spinelli needed the rest, and her boss would be pissed if she was late to work.

This was just a conversation they would be forced to have later.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter proved difficult to write. I hope it doesn't show too much. I would love opinions because I think my writing is really suffering at the moment.**

**Plot twist number three in the next chapter. You know me, "go big or go home". Spinelli's anxiety has reached a boiling point. **

**NEXT CHAPTER: Spinelli is not "fine". Jason and Maxie realize this too late. **


	23. I Will Follow You Into the Dark

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 23: I Will Follow You Into the Dark**

Spinelli lit the end of the joint and took a deep puff from it. He was lucky that the blonde guy who always dealt him weed hadn't been arrested in his clean months, otherwise he would have had to find someone else on another block. He coughed a little on the first drag, but quickly recovered and inhaled some more.

No sleep, no sleep at all, and no food. He couldn't eat. And yesterday had NOT been a good idea, at all. The world was too big and crazy and miserable. It was exhausting, pretending he was okay in front of Maxie, acting as though he wasn't a total mess on the inside. It was so stupid! He'd been shot, he was okay, why couldn't he just get over it? No, it had to wreck his mind. The bullet couldn't just take a chunk of flesh and blood and be done with it. No, the bullet had to roll around in his head, rattling against the sides of memories and hallucinations.

He didn't want to get high, that wasn't the point. Just some relief? Maybe? Please? Was that so wrong? And maybe an appetite? And for the love of God just a moment where his hands didn't shake like a pathetic thing? He posed all of these questions to no one.

The balcony of the penthouse would be his hospital bed, perhaps his self-medication bringing on some sort of cure. Summer's evening was making its entrance. Leaning against the glass door, Spinelli realized how risky he was being. Maxie or Jason could return home from their respective jobs at any moment. Taking another drag off the joint Spinelli realized at this point he didn't give a damn. After going out into the world and buying the drugs, a terrifying experience in itself, it was too late to change his mind.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Spinelli saw rubies running down the wall. They were there before he'd even lit the joint, so they weren't glittering at him because he was high. In fact, he wasn't even feeling anything yet. If his last resort didn't give him some sort of liberation Spinelli didn't know what he would do. Closing his eyes, Spinelli blocked out the images going on around him.

He just wanted to sleep, was that so much to ask? A heart, his heart he assumed, the one beating in his chest, sank over and over and over again. Spinelli exhaled the smoke from his lungs, waiting. The blood was moving down the wall, making a puddle by his hands. Gasping at the closeness, Spinelli scooted away from what he knew wasn't really there.

A ceiling fan and red and Jason looking down at him knowing it was bad, and god so much pain. Then the look in Michael's eyes knowing what had happened, and the smell of fireworks. Someone's pretty blue eyes though he was dying, and he was, wasn't he? Eyes all around him in fact. And wasn't someone lurking outside? What had happened to him? The memory replayed forwards and backwards, spliced in different orders.

Spinelli's breathing sped up. He was about to suffer through another panic attack, he was positive.

The front door of the penthouse opened and slammed shut. Spinelli shuddered, his stomach turning from the sound of the slam and from the realization that he was caught red handed. Oh, he was in trouble now. Spinelli looked around for some place to hide the joint, not wanting to waste it.

But that was when Jason Morgan opened the door. Spinelli froze, looking up at his mentor, the heat rising in his cheeks. Jason looked pissed. In one swift movement he had yanked the joint out of his hands, tossing it on the ground. Within another instant, Spinelli felt himself rising from the ground roughly as Jason grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged him upwards. Jason grabbed him by his bad arm, the one still sore from where the bullet had ripped up his chest muscles. Jason launched him into the penthouse. Spinelli stumbled a little, covering his chest defensively.

"God, not so rough Stone Cold, shooting victim!" His back was to the couch, Jason approaching him.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Jason hissed.

"Stone cold…I…" Spinelli could only stammer, feeling his face tingling as panic set in. He didn't know how he was going to fake normalcy this time.

"Are you stoned already?" Jason demanded. "Or am I still talking to Spinelli? I don't want to have this conversation with a stumbling fool."

"No, no…I just started when you came in…I don't feel anything yet." It was true, he didn't feel anything that he'd hoped the weed would make him feel. Not yet at least.

Jason sighed, flinging his arms out to his sides. "Spinelli, you've got a kid on the way, you just survived being shot, and you've got a girl who is in love with you. I thought you'd grown up, but instead I see you're still acting like some punk fifteen year old kid."

"I'm sorry," Spinelli tried to think quickly. "I know the master doesn't want his protégé smoking in the penthouse…I'm sorry!"

_Yeah…that was good…he sounded really close to normal for a second…_

"One minute your lung collapses and the next you're filling it with smoke? What the hell are you thinking? Is getting high that important to you?" Jason looked incredulous and angry, but there was some concern in his eyes.

"Please, I just--"

"Spinelli, grow up! Where are your priorities? You think Maxie wants to raise that baby with an immature stoner?"

Spinelli could tell that it hurt Jason to put it in those terms. Maybe he should just explain about the hallucinations, the panic…Jason wouldn't tell Maxie…He could help him. Spinelli bobbled on the spot, grappling internally with what he should do. Wrapping his arms around his stomach, Spinelli felt himself about to crack. Maybe it would be for the best.

"The Jackal is just f-f-feeling… a little overwhelmed." His stumbled over the words, amazed that he was even saying them.

Jason's eyebrows rose. "Overwhelmed? You've sat around here for the past few days doing nothing because you're supposed to be recuperating from nearly dying! What the hell could you be so overwhelmed with?" Spinelli closed his eyes and backed into the couch, not being able to take that aggression. He was scared of his friend. Things were suddenly much worse.

"Please don't yell at me!"

"Spinelli…" Jason's tone had shifted. He made a move to come closer.

"Get away from me, Jason!" Spinelli bolted around him, trying to put some distance between him and the man who kept a pistol tucked into his side. Clinging to the pool table, Spinelli tried to keep his breath steady. Jason was holding up his hands like a hostage.

"Okay. Okay, Spinelli. I won't come near you…"

Spinelli's eyes burned, humiliated."Just…just back off!"

Jason took a few steps back, confused and concerned. "Yeah, I'm backing off."

"Stop stop stop…" Spinelli breathed into his hands, trying to stop the sinking.

"Hey, Spinelli, calm down. Come on now…tell me what's wrong." Jason was speaking to him like he was a child.

"I don't know." Shaking his head furiously, Spinelli choked a little on his air, bouncing on the spot from nerves. Jason took a step towards him. Spinelli looked for an escape.

"Okay, okay…so you don't know…" Jason spoke quietly. "But there is something wrong?"

"No, no, It's nothing. I'm fine. Fine." Just tell him you idiot he can help you!

"Spinelli, you are obviously not fine. You're shaking and upset."

The game was up, he knew it, he just couldn't say the words. Jason could help him, he knew that. His mentor would know what to do. Maxie wouldn't have to know. Just say something to him! He could get you help! Open your mouth and speak! Why do you choose now to not over share?

For a second, Spinelli felt relief. Real relief. His mouth opened, a confession hanging on his tongue.

"I…I think…" Spinelli began.

Jason's cell phone rang. For a second neither of them moved. After working up the courage just to get the words out, someone had to interrupt. Spinelli felt his chance slipping away. Jason blinked, hesitating. After a second of consideration, he answered his phone.

Spinelli was crushed.

"Hello? I can't right now, I've got something important going on. No. No I can't be the one. Max! Do it yourself! You have to handle this." Jason spoke quickly, holding up a hand to Spinelli signaling that he needed a minute.

"Max. I repeat. I have something important…What do you mean? Damn it. No. Don't call Sonny. I'll call him. I'll be there soon."

Jason hung up the phone with a snap. Looking back up at Spinelli, he sighed.

"I've got to go. There's a mess going on right now…a shipment…" He was apologizing.

Spinelli looked at the man he'd risked himself for countless times, the hero that had always looked to him in times of trouble for help. But when Spinelli needed him, he had to go be a mobster. His eyes burned more.

"No, Spinelli…come on." Jason gently reached out for him, Spinelli feeling so numb now about being put on the backburner that he didn't even care anymore. His idol directed him back over to the couch, pushing him down onto the seat.

"Spinelli," Jason said. Spinelli didn't look at him. Bowing his head, he refused to look at Stone Cold. "Spinelli, look at me. Look me in the eyes for a second." Spinelli refused. Jason sighed as he squatted down to Spinelli's eye level. This time he didn't look away, giving Jason a go-to-hell look. That's how he felt at the moment, that his so called friend could rot in hell for not helping him. He was probably acting like a child, but he couldn't help it.

"Spinelli…something is wrong with you. I see that. Don't think for a second that we aren't going to talk about this when I get back. I have to deal with this."

Jason's leather jacket brought flashes of the shooting into his head. Spinelli nodded at him heavily, losing his focus all of a sudden. He felt kind of far away. The weed must have finally taken affect on his system. A giggle escaped him pathetically. Jason's face was confused.

"I think I'm a little high, Stone Cold." Spinelli mumbled.

Jason frowned. "This is bad, isn't it, Spinelli? You wouldn't be smoking, not now, not with Maxie and your kid in your life…not unless it was bad."

Spinelli nodded. "Yeah…yeah it's bad."

Jason blinked, obviously holding back some thoughts. "We're going to deal with this. I'll be back soon."

He rose and headed out the door hurriedly. Spinelli sat there stunned for a second, realizing Jason had actually left him like this. What was he supposed to do now? Just sit there and wait? Spinelli screamed into a pillow. Whenever Jason needed him, he'd been there! He'd dropped everything. How many times had he helped?

Spinelli stood quickly, heading back out onto the balcony. Everything was a little foggy. It felt kind of nice. Spotting the joint Jason had tossed onto the ground lying just where it had been left, Spinelli picked it up and lit it again. For some reason he wanted to piss off Jason. This was his fault. Yes, his fault, because he'd raised Michael in the beginning, he'd put the gun in the kid's hands.

He was going to get blazed, see how his hero liked it.

Maxie Jones and his son hadn't crossed his mind once during all of this.

Maxie opened the door the penthouse, instantly sinking into the dimly lit room's buzzing atmosphere. A small accent light was the only glow in the room, giving her just enough glow to make out Spinelli sitting on the couch, staring at the wall opposite him. He was wearing a white undershirt and pajama bottoms, both wrinkled. Had he been sleeping all day? As usual his hair was messed up, but today it looked like he hadn't even tried to fix it. He must have been zoned out because he didn't even look up when she entered the room.

"Spinelli have you even combed your hair today?" Maxie joked.

Spinelli blinked a lot, slowly looking at her. "Hmm?"

"Your hair…" Maxie explained, heading over to him. "You look like a mess…"

"Well I apologize for not being a fashion model, Maxie." Spinelli spat, shifting his hair out of his eyes.

"Why are you being this way?" Maxie sat down heavily on the couch. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings.

"I'm not being any way."

"You're being mean to me." Maxie said dumbly. Spinelli's face instantly changed, all the anger flying out the window. He smiled big at her.

"No…no Maxie…why would I be mean to you?" Spinelli suddenly leaned in and kissed her, catching her completely off guard. It wasn't a sweet Spinelli kiss either, something hungrier than usual. Hesitating, Maxie kissed him back, trying to think of something to do get things on the subject. Spinelli broke their kiss and started kissing her neck, his hot breath giving her goose bumps, but not exactly the good kind.

"Well…you're awfully…aggressive today," Maxie commented lightly, trying to weigh the situation without overreacting. He was kissing down the column her neck in such a way that Maxie almost lost her breath, even closing her eyes in passion for a second, but then she quickly remembered that this was supposed to be her big confrontation about his pills.

"…. Make me feel better," Maxie thought she heard Spinelli speak close to her ear, but he mumbled so much that she wasn't sure. He seemed miles away.

"What?"

He didn't answer, pressing on her in such a way that she found herself falling back into the pillows of the couch, Spinelli swiftly covering her, sneaking a hand around her back to pull her closer to him. His other hand cupped her head, a murky gaze falling down from those eyes. One gentle kiss was planted on her forehead, something so sweet and innocent that for a moment Maxie thought her Spinelli wasn't so far away after all.

"I love you so much…" Spinelli kissed her again, much more forcibly. Maxie broke the kiss almost instantly, not liking where this was going. There was a poison there that had quickly smothered anything good there might have been in this moment. Something was wrong. Something was so incredibly wrong.

"Spinelli, we need to talk about something…" She tried to keep her cool, speaking softly but forcing him to look at her. There was deadness in his eyes, and even stranger a sort of glassy look to them that she hadn't registered yet. He quickly looked away from her, ignoring her request to speak.

"You know I love you, right? Right?"

Spinelli's hand traveled down her body roughly, something so out of character for him that Maxie was officially startled. Any other situation and she would be excited that he was starting to gain some confidence with her, but this was erratic. A few days ago he'd felt her round belly and been completely horrified at the idea of sleeping with her. This about-face and aggressive attitude wasn't her Spinelli. He was buried in her neck again, catching his breath.

Maxie didn't know what to do. This was Spinelli, her friend. He wouldn't hurt her or be so cold. It didn't make any sense. What was going on? A strange but distinct smell hit her nose radiating from Spinelli's shirt.

"Why…why do you smell like weed?" Maxie asked, stunned. He was high.

"Huh?" Spinelli asked in a quaking voice, his body jerking as if he had let out a sob.

Petting the side of his face, Maxie realized finally that Spinelli was extremely upset about something. He sounded on the verge of tears. When she found him that evening he'd been cold at first, over affectionate second, and now he was obviously morose. Mood swings?

"Spinelli, what is wrong with you?" Maxie begged to know. Spinelli huffed, irritated, pushing himself off of her and over to the other side of the couch. He pressed his hands into his eye sockets, blocking her out. Maxie sat up, pulling herself as far away from him as possible. Spinelli was tapping his feet so quickly into the carpet she wondered if he would rub a hole into the fibers.

"Nothing is wrong with me," he mumbled. "Why does everyone think something's wrong with me? I get it, I'm not normal, you know. Why are you doing this to me?" The last phrase ended with his gaze focusing back on her accusingly.

This was exasperating! "Spinelli what the hell are you talking about?"

"Did Jason tell you to talk to me?" His voice was raised now. Maxie was even more confused. Jason barely spoke, let alone speak to her. What did he know?

"What does Jason have to do with anything?"

Spinelli's face fell, blank. The dim lighting in the room seemed heavier, outlining certain aspects of his frame and face.

"Nothing. Nothing…" He swallowed hard, curling up on the couch. With his face buried in one of the pillows Maxie barely heard him mutter, "I'm sorry… I'm just so tired…"

Maxie reached out and rubbed his back, trying to be soothing. "Spin."

"What?" he whispered.

"Talk to me!" Maxie was urging him, no, begging him to just open up to her.

Spinelli shook his head forcibly, closing his eyes. "There's nothing to say!"

Maxie paused, her lips quivering at the sight of him. A warm tear fell down her cheek, slipping onto the corners of her mouth. What was she going to do? Yesterday he'd been fine. Tired yes, and perhaps a little moody, but still sweet Spinelli. They'd had fun at the pool, talking about each other, talking about the baby. What was this? Why would he feel the need to get high like this and then flit from mood to mood.

A little movement from the baby startled her. Out of habit, Maxie thought Spinelli would want to know.

"Spinelli…the baby is kicking…" she said this hoping to see him react, be delighted, something. He didn't even respond to her. Maxie quickly wiped the tears from her face as new ones formed, blurring her vision.

"S-Spinelli?" Maxie sputtered.

"What?" he asked in a hollow voice, barely opening his eyes. Maxie couldn't believe it. It was as if he just didn't give a damn. Not about her, not about the baby. This was too much. Standing quickly, Maxie began heading for the stairs to his room, needing to escape for a second.

"Maxie?" Spinelli called out just as she was setting a foot down on the first stair.

She froze. "Yes, Spinelli?"

"Goodnight."

Why did that sound like goodbye? Maxie shuddered, gripping the staircase. She needed to call Jason, and fast.

Maxie looked up from her tears stained hands to see Jason Morgan standing in the doorway.

"He's passed out on the couch, what happened?" Jason asked quickly.

"He was all moody and not himself…he's acting weird, Jason…like…scary weird."

Maxie huffed wiping her face. She stood, adjusting her red dress, ready to hear anything that Jason had to tell her. He touched her arm quickly.

"Don't make yourself this upset, it's not good for the baby."

Maxie nodded, rubbing her stomach. "I'm trying…What do you think is wrong with him?"

Jason sighed. "I came back here earlier and found him smoking weed out on the balcony. I mean, if this was Spinelli of maybe…I dunno…7 months ago? Yeah…I could see him smoking. Not now. Not with your baby to think about. He's done a lot of growing up."

"What the hell is going on then? What did he say when you confronted him?"

"At first he kind of just acted embarrassed and caught, but he played it down. Then he told me he was overwhelmed, and when I asked him why he started getting really nervous and seemed afraid of me."

"Afraid? Of you?" Spinelli, afraid of _Stone Cold_? That was impossible.

"If not me than of something else." Jason shook his head darkly. "I don't know, maybe with everything that has happened to him recently it's all finally taken a toll on him. I think he's sick."

"Sick?" Maxie froze.

"In his head…I think he's sick in his head."

As if on cue, a loud crash sounded from the living room. For a second, Jason and Maxie just looked at each other. Then their engines started up, the trip from Spinelli's room down the stairs to the living room a complete blur as she and Jason both ran to see what was wrong. Jason came into the view of the living room first, Maxie peeking around him to see what was going on. He held out a hand in front of her so that she couldn't go around him.

That didn't stop her from seeing Spinelli standing near the pool table. He was tugging at his hair and gritting his teeth, breathing heavily as if he was in pain. Maxie made a move to go over to him but Jason held her back.

"I'm falling apart and no one is noticing." He muttered. A guttural growl escaped him, ringing in frustration. Suddenly, he stopped and blinked a little, his hands falling back to his sides. Maxie didn't understand why Jason didn't do anything, why he just stood there watching. Spinelli didn't even seem to register that they were in the room. He reached for a red pool ball, spinning it on the felt for a second as if in a trance.

"Stop it…" he mumbled to himself. Picking up the ball, he weighed it for a moment, considering something. With an energy Maxie hadn't seen in days, Spinelli flung the ball across the room where it struck a mirror and shattered it. Spinelli turned his back on the mess, huffing, and stormed across the room to Jason's bar, running his hands across the bottles of vodka and whiskey. He stopped for a moment, holding both hands out in front of him. From across the room Maxie could see them trembling. Spinelli grabbed the corner of the bar and used it to keep himself steady, his body jerking from sobs now.

Jason decided to finally step in. "Stay back," He commanded, making his way slowly over to where Spinelli was. With Jason out of the way Maxie saw the mess that was the living room. The coffee table had been knocked on its side, pillows flung off the couch. Spinelli just have awoken in frustration and taken it out on the room.

"Hey Spinelli…" he said gently. Spinelli quickly spun around, finally realizing he wasn't alone. He didn't look happy to be caught. He pointed accusingly at Jason.

"You told me to stay awake. Well, I did. And now I see red _everywhere_. If I had just passed out I wouldn't remember any of this, but no, it's all up in my head." Spinelli yelled at Jason, tapping the side of his head furiously.

"Okay…Okay so this is about the shooting. What's going on?" Jason asked calmly.

Spinelli's face fell. He looked down at the ground and his eyes grew wide. Jason followed his gaze. Spinelli started wringing his hands, stepping nervously back and forth.

"Is there something there, Spinelli? Something on the ground?"

Spinelli blinked rapidly and looked back up at Jason. "I'm sorry Stone Cold. The Jackal seems to have made a mess of your humble abode. I will set forth and clean it up right away." He made a motion to set up the coffee table that had been knocked on its side, but Jason grabbed him.

"No, Spinelli, let's talk about this."

Spinelli didn't move, for a second just closing his eyes. "I'm so overwhelmed."

Jason froze. "Spinelli…buddy….I want to help you."

Flinging Jason's grip off of him, Spinelli backed into the bar. He looked furious. Maxie couldn't believe how many mood changes he'd gone through in just a few minutes. Hearing him speak perfect Jackal in the midst of all of his other ramblings was the most frightening thing so far.

"Oh, Now you have the time? Now you can make room? That's how it's always been, people pushing me aside because I wasn't convenient." Spinelli grabbed blindly for a bottle off the bar and flung it wildly. It crashed against the mantle narrowly missing Jason's shoulder. Spinelli saw the pieces on the ground and sighed heavily.

"I shattered it." He said. Maxie's heart broke. There was something about the way he looked at the broken bottle…like he connected with it. He was out of control.

"Spinelli we need to find out what is wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong." Spinelli replied, emptily.

Maxie couldn't take it anymore. "What the hell, Spinelli? What do you call this mess? What you're doing here tonight? This isn't right!"

Spinelli looked up at her, horrified. He must not have realized she was there. Maxie came out of hiding.

"If you don't tell us what is going on with you right now, I'm gone. I'm leaving. I've got a baby to think about, Spinelli. If you want to sit here and pretend nothing is wrong when clearly something is wrong, I've got to go. I love you, but don't you dare insult my intelligence by pretending that what you are doing here tonight is normal."

"Maxie…no, no, you can't leave…you can't leave me." Spinelli made a move towards her, the only thing keeping him away was Jason's grip on the back of his shirt.

"Why not, Spinelli? What kind of mother would I be if I stayed with an erratic and off balance person?" Maxie hated saying the words. "You just flipped out tonight. Am I supposed to trust you to take care of our son when you could fly off the handle like this at any moment? You need help, Spinelli."

"I'm not going to be like this when Caleb is born." Spinelli breathed heavily, as if he hadn't even considered the thought. Perhaps the idea of his son being in the room, hell, in his arms when he'd flipped out was toying with his mind.

"How do you know?" Maxie yelled at him.

"I don't know!" He flung his arms out at his sides, a move that startled her so much that Maxie backed up, tripping over a rug on the ground. She fell back on the ground, hard. For a moment the world was silent. Pain shot through her back. Jason was at her side instantly, helping her up.

"Ow…oh…my back…" Maxie grabbed around her body, massaging where she'd hit the ground.

Spinelli was looking at her, stunned. Shaking his head, Maxie was almost able to see him sober up. There was a definite shift in his body. He made a move to come towards her.

"Maxie…"

"Stop." Maxie held out a hand to keep him at a distance as Jason helped her up.

"Maxie…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you." He bounced on the spot, unable to contain himself. He wanted to be the one at her side, helping her up, making sure she was okay, it was clear. Maxie straightened her clothes and tried to focus, knowing that the next thing she said to Spinelli might be the most important discussion they ever had as a couple and as parents.

"Spinelli. If you ever, ever want to see your baby you will tell Jason, or me, or both of us what is going on. I will not watch you cave into yourself any more than you already have! Our baby needs a whole person, not this twisted half of you!" Maxie rubbed her stomach, feeling the baby move a little. He must have known something was upsetting his mother.

Spinelli clamped up. "How am I supposed to tell you what's wrong when I don't even understand it?"

"What do you mean, Spinelli?" Jason interrupted.

"The blood!" Spinelli exclaimed. He walked heavily over to the couch, plopping down. "I see blood everywhere, running like rubies down the wall, in puddles, on my hands. Then my breath catches and I can't stop thinking about it, and my heart is sinking in my chest and stupid sounds make me scared, like blenders or balloons popping or doors slamming. Its triggered by some things, other times it just happens out of nowhere. I don't know what to call that, Maxie, how am I supposed to explain it to you?"

"Spin..."

"At first I thought I had it under control," He explained, gesturing with his hands wildly. "And you made me feel okay, but then I couldn't sleep or eat and it's just gotten worse. I haven't slept in two nights, I haven't eaten all day, I feel like the world is buzzing around me!"

"Spinelli, you've been traumatized." Jason said quietly.

"Don't make me sound like a child!"

"It's not a shameful thing to be traumatized! You can't exactly control that."

"You do!" Spinelli spat. "You get shot and just let it roll right off you."

Jason ran a hand through his hair. "I never wanted you to think that you were weak for being affected by violence. And who's to say you have any control over it anyways? You could have post traumatic stress disorder! That's completely out of your control! Why didn't you come to us sooner?"

Spinelli bowed his head, picking at his nails. "I didn't want Maxie to stress about it, I don't want her worrying and it harming the baby."

Maxie ushered over to him at the realization of how much she had affected his decision to bottle things up. It figured. He wouldn't constantly tell her he was fine and then make sure to add that she shouldn't worry about him. The past few weeks started to make a lot of sense. Sitting down next to him, Maxie forced him to look at her by tilting his face.

"Spinelli, letting it get as bad as it has is more stressful to me than if you'd just told me early on that you were feeling this!"

"Please don't yell at me!" He shuddered a little, averting her eyes.

"Oh, Spinelli…" Maxie pulled him to her, unable to stay angry at him. "What do we need to do to help you? I'm not going anywhere, I promise, I'm staying. But only if you let us help you."

"I just want…I want to get away…from all of this." Spinelli muttered into her hair. He really did need a vacation, Maxie realized. How much stress had he been under?

An idea occurred to her. "Okay, okay we can do that."

"What?"

"We can get away. We can go somewhere. Get out of Port Charles for a while and go someplace quiet so you can breathe. If that doesn't help we can come back and you can go see Lainey…"

"Maxie…I don't know where to go…" Maxie pet his face. Jason was looking at the ground, obviously afraid to leave the room but not wanting to pry in on them.

"What about…what about your Grandmother's? You haven't seen her in a while have you?"

"Granny?" Spinelli chirped, confused. Maxie laughed a little.

"Yeah…we could go visit her…no stress…Isn't that where you went when you were afraid for your life? I mean…if you felt safe there with Alcazar's men after you…why not again?"

Jason chimed in. "Spinelli, go visit your grandmother."

"I don't know…" He pulled away from her, rubbing his temple. Maxie took his hand and placed it on her stomach, knowing he had a hard time refusing her when the baby was involved. He needed to be reminded of what he was living for. Spinelli smiled a little at the encounter.

"Unless you don't want her to meet your girlfriend…you know…the woman carrying your first born…" Maxie knew she was manipulating him, but damn it he needed someone to direct him sometimes. Pulling him towards her, he bended to her will. She lay his head in her lap, running her hand through his hair to calm him.

"I would love you to meet her…" he mumbled.

"Then let's do it…I think it will be good for you…so does Jason." Jason nodded quickly. Maxie was glad he approved of the idea. Spinelli would do anything that his mentor asked him.

"Maxie…I'm so sorry I didn't say anything…I'm sorry I let it get this bad…"

"Shhh…Don't think…just…don't think." Maxie pet his hair.

Those must have been magic words, because Spinelli felt himself clearing out his mind at the sound of them. This would be the second time that she had said that phrase to him, on the exact same couch at the same time of day. That's when Spinelli knew he would be okay, because the first time she had said those words to him he'd been given a gift, even if he didn't recognize it at first. Surely this time things would turn out just as good. There was some sort of power in her commands, the universe seemed to shift around her. Spinelli closed his eyes, Maxie's fingers running through his hair.

He fell asleep for the first time in two days.

**A/N: And there you go. We're off to Tennessee…where Spinelli grew up from a wee Jackal. I wonder what secrets he might uncover? That's the next theme: family.**

**Important: I'll be gone this weekend, no update until next week. **

**This chapter goes out to D-Tepes and Evelyn for helping me come up with the concepts discussed. I combined a lot of their ideas to make this chapter. (Btw….D, are you alive?!) **

**Next Chapter: To grandmother's house we go.**


	24. Like a Record

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 24: Like a Record**

Maxie drummed her hands on the steering wheel, enjoying one of the last few long drives she would be taking. Soon her stomach would hinder her behind the wheel, so she reveled in being able to enjoy this moment in the driver's seat. Fields of cotton passed by on either side of the little car, speckled white and green plants leaving mesmerizing patterns all down the highway. She'd seen fields like this all the time in her travels around Texas where her grandmother lived, but it had been years since Maxie had ventured out of Port Charles far enough to see real country settings.

Glancing over at Spinelli in the passenger seat, she considered him. He was leaning against the window, eyes staring out into the same fields as her. She wondered what he was thinking, if he was seeing things. He'd been very quiet since his blow up two nights ago, probably embarrassed about what had happened. Maxie hoped that this vacation would be good for him. If not…well…Maxie wasn't sure what they would do. Dr. Winters would probably have to get involved.

Spinelli glanced away from the window and realized that Maxie was looking at him, quickly dipping his head a little, blushing. His hand crept across the front seat over to her stomach and rested there, rubbing it softly. Maxie sat her hand on top of his, putting her focus back on the road.

"I'm sorry, Maxie."

"I know, Spin."

That was that. He didn't need to say anything else, she got it. Maybe he'd call her Sassy Maxie sometime soon though, she missed that. Nicknames might have been a defense mechanism for Spinelli, but they were also a way for him to organize his mind. When he didn't use them at all she wondered what kind of mess was going on behind his eyes. Perhaps he was just too tired to consider them. It took a moment for Maxie to realize that Spinelli's hand wasn't shaking. Her heart leapt with joy, knowing he had been pulsing with nerves for so long.

Sitting in silence just like that for a few moments, Maxie counted the yellow stripes down the road. For a second they hypnotized her and she felt her eyelids becoming heavy. Yawning big, Maxie blinked a few times to get her focus. Spinelli rubbed the side of her arm.

"I can drive." Spinelli said quietly.

Frowning a little, Maxie didn't think that was a good idea. "I'm fine, Spinelli."

Spinelli's gaze fell into his lap. He obviously realized she didn't feel comfortable with him driving. Thinking quickly, Maxie turned on the radio and cranked up the music to get rid of the awkward silence. For a moment Maxie didn't recognize the song. It was one of those 80s hits 

that got stuck in your head for days on end. As the chorus sounded, Maxie couldn't help but sing along to the catchy number.

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record player right round round round!" Maxie declared, bouncing in her driver's seat. Glancing over at Spinelli, she saw that he was giving her one odd look. More like a "what the hell" look. Maxie just grinned at him.

"Sassy Maxie…" Spinelli asked cautiously, as if worried she'd been traded with a pod person.

Maxie bobbed her head to the beat. "You know you love it."

"No…" Spinelli laughed a little, shaking his head. "Not so much."

Slapping his knee, Maxie took the light in his eyes and ran with it, hoping to see him be playful with her. He hadn't laughed so much at her in days and there was definitely an admiration for her that he had neglected for some time. Not on purpose of course, but because his mind was distracted. She selfishly loved the look of absolute adoration in his eyes at that moment.

"Shut up Debbie Downer I'm singing a song here."

"Debbie?" Spinelli scoffed, pressing a hand into his chest, teasingly offended. Maxie laughed gleefully at the evidence in his effort to banter with her showed her plan was working. Maybe he could get past this. She turned up the radio and continued to belt out the jumbled tune. As the chorus came around again, Maxie pointed directly at Spinelli.

"You spin me right round baby!"

"Right round…" Spinelli replied, rolling his eyes.

Maxie pretended to sing into a microphone. "Like a record player!"

Extending the invisible microphone out to Spinelli, he leaned in and mumbled."Right round round round." Snatching her "microphone" hand, Spinelli kissed her knuckles before letting go. Smiling wickedly, Maxie sat back in her seat, satisfied.

"We should be a folk duo," Maxie laughed.

Spinelli laughed, tipping his forehead against the window. The drove for a while listening to the music, mumbling some of the words to songs they knew together. It was cheesy but Maxie loved it.

Suddenly, Spinelli took in a sharp breath. "Oh no."

Maxie's heart sank. "What?"

Spinelli looked at her seriously. "I need you to be my wife."

Maxie blinked a few times. "What?" Was he proposing to her now? In the car? While there were dairy cows outside the window?

Spinelli sat up straight, on edge. "No…no I mean…Uh…I need you to pretend we are married."

"What the hell?"

"My Granny, Maxie, is very very very old fashioned. I can't bring you home to her…like…that." Spinelli pointed to her stomach, biting his lip. Maxie took her eyes off the road for a second to glance down at her dress. Oh yes, the big ole pregnancy bump. Indeed.

"Spinelli…lots of people have babies with people they aren't married to…"

Spinelli stared. "Maxie, Do you want her to be nice or do you want her to preach to you all the time we are under her roof about living in sin?" Spinelli's eyes were wide, unblinking.

"Spinelli…are you scared of your Granny?"

"YES! She is most intimidating, not unlike your blonde self."

Maxie laughed. "Okay. Okay…I guess I'm Maxie Spinelli?"

Spinelli grimaced. "That's an odd name."

"Hmm. Yeah. You know what sounds really sexy though? Maxie Timberlake. Or…Maxie Clooney. Yeah. I like that."

Shaking his head, Spinelli snuggled into the seat, peaking out at her from behind his messy bangs. Maxie had a hard time focusing on the road when he was looking at her like that.

"No, Maxie Jones," he said steadily, his gaze never faltering. "You are most definitely my own."

''''''''''''''''''''''''

"I can't find the key! Shine your cell phone where I'm standing."

"It's too dark out here, Spinelli. I swear to god if there are spiders crawling down on my shoulder I will throttle you."

"Most Annoying One you act like you've never been in the country before. Your own granny lives in Texas does she not?"

"Spinelli just open the door!"

"I can't find the key! Granny used to keep it right here under flower pot but it's not here!"

Hunching down low, Maxie tried as hard as she could to keep her head away from any sort of post or wind chime that would make a happy home for some insect or another. One arm clinging to Spinelli's shirt, the other holding her cell phone like a flashlight, Maxie tried to see if she could spot a key on the ground.

"It's no use, Spinelli!" Maxie tugged on his shirt, trying to get his attention. "Just Jackal your way into the place or something. Jason surely has taught you some sort of breaking and entering technique."

Spinelli sighed, relieved. "Found it." He held up a key looking very satisfied with his own perseverance. He began opening the door, stepping into a dark entryway. Their hands met as he brought her into the house, switching on the light. They were in a living room, a poorly decorated living room at that, very grandmotherly, but comfy. Spinelli looked around the room, taking in the scenery.

"It's Thursday night…Granny is probably out with Martha…"

"Martha?"

"Her friend from church…they have dinner together Thursday nights."

"Oh."

Collapsing on the blue striped couch, Spinelli snuggled into a pillow. "I like this couch."

Though she had been driving all day, Maxie wasn't tired at all. She felt very energized all of a sudden, realizing that this was the house that Spinelli had grown up in. This was where The Jackal was born. A little piece of her wanted Spinelli to leave her alone just so she could investigate, perhaps get some long awaited answers on the mysterious past of her friend. Spinelli hadn't ever held anything back from her except for his anxiety and the life that he lived in this house. She couldn't just…pull the secret out of him, that wasn't fair. It was his story to tell…but her inquisitive nature was buzzing.

Spinelli's eyes were closed. "I'm tired."

"Hey…Um…where is the bathroom?" Maxie asked softly, tapping him on the nose.

He blinked up at her. "Down the hall…first room on the right."

Maxie headed in the direction Spinelli pointed. Passing the first room on the right, Maxie continued down the hallway, trying a few doors. One led into a closet, another wouldn't open at all (she noticed it was locked), and the one at the very end of the hallway brought her into a small sitting room. There was a petite couch squashed in the corner opposite a table with some 

papers and files on it right next to a long bookshelf against the back wall. Maxie cautiously entered the room, stepping over to the bookshelf.

The titles of some of the books sounded familiar to her but she wasn't much of a reader. Spinelli probably knew most of them by heart. Did he come in here to read when he was growing up? As if answering her question, a green leather bound novel called Greek Myths grabbed her attention. She brushed her fingers over the spine, knowing somehow that this is where Spinelli learned half of his stories.

A black photo album was sitting alone on the bottom shelf. Maxie bent gently to pick it up, carrying her find over to the couch. It was labeled in loopy scrawl "family", instantly sending shivers down Maxie's spine. This was the forbidden fruit, or at least a forbidden seed.

The cover crackled when she opened it, as if it hadn't been looked at in a long time. Black and white smirking faces looked up at her. Maxie was a little disappointed. Maybe she thought that she'd open the first page and see….well…something.

Scanning quickly through the old photographs, people she obviously wouldn't know, Maxie stopped on the first color photograph. A blonde woman, probably in her mid forties, stood beside a very burly man with auburn hair. Sitting prettily on a stool in front of them was a young teenage girl with vibrant red hair in a freckled face.

"She had red hair" was the only thing Spinelli had ever said about his mother. The man and woman must have been Spinelli's Granny and grandfather. The pretty redhead was probably his mother. Maxie dug the photo out of the book to inspect further. Flipping it over, Maxie read the names. Miriam, Stanley, and Sarah (age 15).

Sarah.

Maxie bit her thumb, feeling very queasy at the sight of this girl. She looked happy, healthy, and vibrant. What had happened to her? Spinelli didn't know anything about her…if this was his mother…where did she go? The photo tucked safely back into place, Maxie slowly flipped through to the next page. Sarah was older now, posing next to a homemade birthday cake, smiling big. She was quite pretty, her hair long and wavy and face fresh. A large silver cross necklace graced her neck.

An entire page dedicated to the bright eyed girl at her graduation. Cap and gown, diploma in hand, Sarah wrapped her arms lovingly around her mother and father. The next page had a single picture on it, Sarah standing in front of a university sign giving the thumbs up.

Turning the page, Maxie gasped at the next photo. Sarah was posing with her father at what looked like a sort of gathering. Actually, Maxie assumed it was Sarah. She looked so different. Her long red hair was axed off, cut extremely short. The fresh faced look was gone, traded for heavy eye makeup that just drew more attention to dark circles under her eyes. With such focus on her eyes, Maxie was able to see the same murky ocean stare that Spinelli had looking back at her in the photograph. In fact, Spinelli looked a lot like his mother.

Did Spinelli's mom just become a radically different person overnight? Maxie couldn't take it anymore. She wanted answers now. Flipping a few pages ahead, Maxie found the first photograph of a young Sarah very obviously pregnant. Her heart skipped a few beats. Finally, the good stuff. She looked better now. Her hair was a little longer, but she still had on dark makeup. She didn't look much older than she had in the college photograph…

"What are you doing?"

Maxie jumped, slamming the book shut on her finger. "Ow."

Spinelli stood in the doorway, confused. He made his way over to her and sat down, taking the album out of her hands.

"I'm sorry. I just…got…nosey." Maxie sputtered. Spinelli looked at her and then at the book, sighing heavily. She thought he was mad. That wouldn't be good. Their vacation was starting off on the wrong foot. To her amazement, he opened up the book and started flipping through it slowly. He stopped on the picture of his mom pregnant.

"That's my mom. That would be me." He pointed at his mother and her stomach respectively. A sad smile formed on the corner of his mouth. Maxie leaned on his shoulder, his tone giving her permission to keep looking.

"She's pretty." Maxie mumbled.

"She's sad." Spinelli replied.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know."

Spinelli turned a few pages, skipping some and pausing on a few others. Maxie watched his face instead of looking at where he was gazing. He didn't look upset. Accepting, nostalgic…but not angry.

"Look. It's me." Spinelli pulled out a photograph and handed it to her. Maxie looked at the picture, her lip puckering at the sight. It was little Spinelli, probably no older than two. He had messy hair back then too, dressed in tan overalls and chewing on his fingers. Maxie squealed.

"Oh, Spin, you were so cute!" The mini Spinelli was gazing candidly at the man crouched down in front of him. The man held out a red ball to the toddler, who seemed most confused by the object. Giggling, Maxie pinched Spinelli's arm.

"You never told me you were so cute."

"Why state the obvious?" Spinelli quipped back.

"Who's that holding the ball?" Maxie asked, pointing the man. He looked young, but his face was in profile so Maxie couldn't get a very good look at him. Shaggy brown hair was tossed into his eyes anyway.

"Well…look in the background…that's the playground. Just some guy I guess."

"You look mesmerized."

Spinelli laughed, plucking the picture out of her hand. He quickly replaced it with another picture, this time of young Spinelli being held by his mother. She was looking down at him, not smiling, but he clung to her grinning big. Maxie couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that even at age two Spinelli's hair was pushed in every direction but "neat". Her eyes raked over the photograph, taking in every detail she could. Would their baby look like him? If so, Maxie was going to be fighting off women who would be all too eager to hold Caleb.

In the background was Spinelli's grandmother talking to a young man dressed in hip clothing. The shaggy hair made Maxie realize it was the same man from the other photograph.

"There he is again," Maxie stated, waving the picture under Spinelli's nose.

"Who?"

"That guy. He's talking with your Granny."

"That's my living room." Spinelli said, pointing to the blue striped couch. He took the picture from her, looking closely at it. Shaking his head, Spinelli put it back in the book.

"I don't know. Maybe he's a cousin or something."

Maxie snatched the book away from him, getting both pictures out. They weren't very good, but Maxie couldn't shake this feeling. It was something about the way the hair fell into the man's eyes…She looked again at the picture where the man was holding out a ball to an amazed little Jackal.

"Spinelli…"

"What?"

"Is…that your dad?"

"What are you talking about?" Spinelli's eyebrows furrowed.

"He looks like he could be your dad. Look at his hair. Hell, look at his hands." She pointed to the hand that wasn't outstretched, the one resting on his knee. Spinelli had very striking hands like the man in the picture. He was a small man, not in height but in bulk. An average build, pale 

skin, messy hair. Plus, little Spinelli was mesmerized by him. Something in that alone made Maxie wonder.

"Maxie…" Spinelli grumbled. "I told you I don't know my dad. It was just me and my mom until I was four and she dropped me off here."

"You don't recognize this guy at all?" Maxie pleaded.

"I don't even remember him let alone recognize him."

"But--"

"Maxie…please…can we drop it?"

"Spinelli, of all the things you could have Jackaled throughout your life, you never even once tried to find your mom or dad?"

"They never tried to find me, why should I try to find them?" Spinelli's voice was raised now. This was the forbidden topic. "They didn't want me."

Maxie could see the hurt in his eyes. He'd said he had always felt alone, this was where those feelings grew from. She had a hard time imagining how any person wouldn't want to know the little boy in the pictures

"Don't you want closure?"

"Closure?" Spinelli tossed the word back at her. "Nothing is ever going to explain how a parent, the person who is supposed to take care of you and love you, can just leave."

"Spinelli…"

"DAMIAN SPINELLI. Get in here! I see your laptop. I know you're here! Let me guess…you need money!"

A scratchy voice sounded harshly from the living room. Spinelli's eyes were round as saucers. They'd been so caught up in the photo album that both seemed for forget where they were. Maxie jumped up quickly.

"Granny's home." Spinelli said, taking a deep breath.

This would be interesting.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

A/N: Sorry about the two week hiatus…the creativity just wasn't there. I am extremely interested in hearing your thoughts about this chapter because it's about Spinelli's history…

Spinelli and Maxie fans: If you are honestly tired of the downright redundant story of Spinelli constantly losing the girl, **I suggest you write and call in to the show. If you need contact information, I can get you that**. The scenes we are getting right now are GOLDEN. IF you honestly want to see it continue you must be loud and stay loud, good news or bad news. Stay classy, stay out of fights with other fans, and keep up the support.

**Poll question: Would you rather I update more often with shorter chapters or update whenever I can with longer chapters? **

**Please review! I've missed your lovely opinions so much! The last chapter was the lowest reviewed one so far and it made me sad because I worked my bum off on it…I don't want to lose people! **

**Next Chapter: Granny…meet the wife.**


	25. Bird

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 25: Bird**

"Granny! Hello. Uh." Spinelli inched around the corner of the living room. Granny had both hands on her hips, a glare already gaining heat and headed in his direction. She didn't look much different from the last time he had seen her. The same white hair was pulled up in a bun, same dull clothing, the only thing new about her was the few wrinkles added to her face.

"Damian," she sighed. "What are you doing here? What did you get into now?"

Spinelli smiled weakly and shrugged, innocent. "Why must Granny assume the worst?"

His grandmother rolled her eyes behind her buggy spectacles. "Because whenever you flit in an out of this house unexpectedly you have that look in your eyes…that look that says you've gotten into something rotten."

"Do…I look like that now?" Posing with both arms outstretched, Spinelli humored her with a quick examination. She gave him a skeptical once over. Spinelli quietly thanked Maxie for suggesting he wear the simple black shirt as opposed to his more bold graphic choices. His Granny was quick to judge on looks. Was his hair combed? He didn't remember.

Squinting a little, Granny spoke slowly. "…No."

Spinelli sighed, relaxed. "Would you believe me if I said…I…I just wanted to come visit?"

"…No."

"Granny…" Spinelli rolled his eyes this time. His grandmother paused for a moment, considering him. She slowly made her way over, moving with more difficultly than he had remembered. That was his grandmother, though…frail, but deadly. Patting down the front of his shirt, Granny examined him closer. She tugged a little on his long hair.

"You need a haircut. And, you look skinny. Are you sick?"

"No, no Granny…listen…" Spinelli took a step away from her. "I had some vacation time at work…"

Her eyebrows rose. "You have a job…with vacation time," she asked in her scratchy voice.

"Yeah…Yes, I work for …a coffee warehouse. I'm their technical support." He struggled with that one, because it was mostly a lie. But technically…Sonny did have a coffee shop. Hell, he had whole coffee warehouse!

"Really?"

"Yes!" Spinelli laughed now. "Why do you doubt me so much?"

His grandmother hesitated, giving him an odd look. She did that all the time when he was younger. That look made him think he was reminding her of the past, of her daughter, something bitter behind her eyes. It was his sincere theory that whatever had happened to his mother had radically altered the woman standing before him. For a long time he thought he was a disappointment to her, the bastard kid that had come into her pretty daughter's life at the absolute wrong time.

At the same time, his grandmother didn't have to take care of him all of his life. She confused him a lot, to say the least. Was he an obligation, a burden, the only link to her daughter left, or just her grandson? He learned a long time ago that he wasn't going to get answers…But there she was again, giving him that look.

"I don't doubt you, Damian. But you didn't exactly leave me with the best impression of you last time you were here. That horrible blonde girl…"

"Lulu?"

"Are you still seeing her? I don't approve, she was mouthy--" Granny grimaced, rambling.

"No, Granny, we weren't ever seeing each other. That was a very confusing…well…let's change the subject!" Spinelli clapped his hands together.

His grandmother frowned. "She dumped you, didn't she?"

Spinelli's palm met his face. This wasn't going well at all. "Granny, no. Listen. I have a lot of things that have…happened…to me…and I wanted to, well, I guess, share them with you."

"Like what?"

"Uhhhmmm…" Spinelli gulped, bouncing on the spot with his hands clenching and unclenching. He held up a finger to his grandmother, signaling that he needed just a moment. She crossed her arms, very aware that he was about to spring something on her. Spinelli bolted to the bathroom where he had hidden Maxie. Swinging the door open, he found her fixing her hair in the mirror. She spun around, confused. Scuttling around her, Spinelli found her shoulders and began directing her out into living room.

"Come on," he ushered.

Maxie scampered, tripping over her own feet. "Spinelli!"

"Shh! Just…let me do the talking," he muttered in her ear, swiftly kissing her cheek as the room with the dreaded ancestor grew nearer. His grandmother gaped at the newcomer as Maxie froze, fixing her dress. She waved sheepishly, crossing her arms in front of her stomach, as if that would hide anything.

"Hi…"

His grandmother looked stunned. "Damian."

"Granny," Spinelli pursed his lips, trying to figure out how to handle this. "I would like you to meet Maxie."

"Damian," Miriam Spinelli began darkly. "You said you weren't in trouble."

"I'm not," Spinelli sputtered, looking from his grandmother to Maxie and then back again. "We're not."

"You are too young."

"Granny, I promise…Maxie and I are very happy."

"Girl," Granny narrowed her eyes, putting a hand on each hip. "Are you trying to trap my grandson?"

Maxie gaped, rubbing her belly protectively. "_What_?"

"Granny!"

"Damian Spinelli!" She mimicked.

"Granny," Spinelli sighed, exasperated. "She didn't trap me! It--it was a surprise!"

"It's definitely surprising." His grandmother grumbled, reaching for the purse she had sat down on the edge of her couch. "So, how much money do you need?"

Maxie laughed, insulted. "My _husband_ is fully capable of being able to provide for both me and our baby without your help, thank you very much."

"What?"

His grandmother was thoroughly confused now. Adjusting her glasses nervously, she took a few deep breaths. Spinelli wished this was going better.

"MaxieandIaremarriedGrannysoyouarejustgoingtohavetodealwithitokay?" He blurted this, hoping to explain but instead just sounding rude.

"_What_?" Maxie and Granny asked in unison.

Spinelli stepped in front of Maxie, sighing. He tried to collect his thoughts. The petite woman 

pulled her sweater around her watching him carefully. His hands twisted in the air, trying to help his tongue find the words to make this better.

"Maxie and I are married, Granny. We're having a baby. We just wanted to visit." Each word was spoken carefully and slowly. He hated the looked that was welling up behind his Grandmother's spectacles. She looked honestly injured.

"You got married… and didn't tell me?"

Spinelli's mouth snapped shut. In all of his years living with her, she had never acted like this. Like…like something could hurt her feelings. She was stoic, always. He remembered when his grandfather died when he was seven. Always a quiet man, Spinelli didn't recall having a lot to say to him. However, at the funeral, Spinelli had cried buckets. Not really understanding the concept of death, not understanding how the man who read quietly in the den could just not be there the next day, and of course his extremely young age all contributed to the tears at service. His Granny, on the other hand, had just been quiet. No tears, no wailing or hysterics. Just quiet lonely sadness, and this had been her great love. So, seeing this brave faced woman looking even slightly cracked by his admission to marrying while she was away…it broke his heart.

"This is not going as well as the Jackal intended," Spinelli began, feeling foolish. "…Perhaps I should have called first."

"Mrs. Spinelli," Maxie piped up, and for once Spinelli really wished she'd keep her mouth shut. "I don't want to offend, but don't you think you're taking this a little too harshly? I mean…It's a baby…not huge crisis."

His Granny shook her head. "Little girl, I know how this turns out. You're too young to be doing this."

"Well, we're going to do '_this'_ with our without your blessing," Maxie spat defensively.

"Maxie…"

"And I am _no_ little girl."

"Peace!" Spinelli spun around to her, cupping her shoulders. Maxie was glaring past him, her stare so deadly he wasn't quite sure how his grandmother was surviving it. She had that Bad Blonde look in her eyes, but when her alter ego's gaze found his she softened a little. She bent to pick her smaller suitcase off the ground.

"Spin, I'm going to take my bag up to your room. Upstairs right?"

Spinelli nodded, watching her head to the dark stairs. He turned back to his grandmother, who did not look in the slightest bit amused. He took a few steps towards her timidly. It was strange that this little woman could evoke such pressure.

"Granny…would you prefer that Maxie and I take our leave tomorrow morning? I didn't mean to upset you."

She brushed him off, heading to her couch. "I'm too old for this."

Spinelli followed her, sitting down beside her gently. "Too old? Not my Granny."

"You talk differently," she said, eyeing him. Spinelli couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I get that a lot."

"No," she waved dismissingly. "I don't mean the weird made up words. You don't sound…like a punk."

He smiled a little, looking at his shoes. "I think my punk phase ended whilst in Port Charles."

"Damian…you are not ready to be a husband and a father."

"Well…I am…" He shrugged.

She was right. He wasn't ready. He had a lot of maturing to do, a lot of things that he hadn't learned, a lot of things he couldn't just learn from a book for from Stone Cold's mentoring. That didn't exactly stop the inevitable. The fatherhood, not the husband thing…that part could wait for a while. Maxie didn't want to get married just because of their baby and he was pretty sure if he were to ask her this early in their real relationship she would just think it was because of Caleb.

Granny sighed. "At least you did the right thing…marrying that girl…I expect she is exceptionally challenging."

Spinelli smiled genuinely. "She challenges me every day. To be better, to compromise. Sometimes she challenges me just to challenge me."

"What about that other girl?" Granny inquired. "At least she didn't chop off all of her hair and wear all that makeup." Something about the way she said those words made Spinelli feel odd. He pushed it aside in his mind, hoping to keep the somewhat lighter tone going.

Peaking at her from under his messy bangs, Spinelli teased. "I thought you said Lulu was mouthy?"

She rolled her eyes for the millionth time that night. "So you are really just here for a visit?"

"Yes!"

"That girl and I are not going to mesh."

In a strange motion for her, his grandmother reached out to him and took him in her arms. Spinelli hugged her back a little, trying to remember if he'd ever been coddled so much by her. She wasn't exactly cold growing up, just distant.

"Can't we all just enjoy the nice country setting in peace? Maybe Maxie will grow on you. She certainly grew on me! We had a less than pleasant beginning."

"We'll see, son."

**……………………….**

Maxie sat on the edge of the bed in Spinelli's old room. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself down. How dare that crazy old bat accuse her of trapping Spinelli. Like she would ever, ever do that. Freezing, Maxie remembered that she actually had done just that with Lucky. A little amazed, Maxie realized at once how much being with Spinelli had changed her. There was obviously still a little bit of evil in her, that was clear by the daggers she'd thrown at Spinelli's granny verbally. However, she felt inherently different in that moment. Perhaps it was because she was forced to think of someone other than herself for once. She had to be quiet, keep her cool. Also, who could be extremely "bad" with Spinelli's peaceful aura always flitting around.

Sighing a little, Maxie glanced around the room. There wasn't a single poster or decorative thing on the wall. A bookshelf with at least a hundred books, a computer desk, empty closet and bed were the only thing in the room. Spinelli might be a little obsessive compulsive, wanting things done a certain way, but he wasn't this boring. Something was out of place in the neat room. This couldn't possibly have been the dwelling of the eclectic and somewhat extreme personality of The Jackal.

It didn't sit right with her, so Maxie decided to do some investigating. "If I were The Jackal…where would I hide my personality?"

Squinting a little around the room, Maxie decided to start with the computer desk. A techie needed a good place to do their nerdy work, after all. She sat down in the rolling chair, opening the top drawer on the desk. Instantly she laughed. There was a small wooden box covered with some paper at the back of the drawer. She was pretty sure she knew what it was.

Pulling it out, she opened the lid and instantly smelled the long gone traces of weed. A few rolling papers and a lighter were the only thing left. She found The Jackal's stash box. Naughty boy…Maxie put it back, laughing a little. Opening the bottom drawer, Maxie instantly flushed red hot with anger. There was a Maxim magazine with an extremely gorgeous woman on the cover, scantily clad of course. She would be sure to mention that to him on a day they were fighting and she was losing. Guilt trips always brought arguments back into the woman's favor.

Tossing it aside, Maxie felt around at the bottom of the drawer, her fingertips brushing against something felt textured. She snatched it, pulling out a little cloth pouch. Pulling the drawstring open, Maxie let the items inside tumble into her palm. Cold metal jingled, a chain shining in the light.

Examining it, it seemed plain enough. It was the two things on the chain that were of interest. One of them was a huge silver cross. She'd have to check, but Maxie as pretty sure it was the same one that Spinelli's mother was wearing in one of the pictures from her youth. The other was a sterling ring. It was simple, no frills, very masculine. Maxie held it up to the light, looking closely at it.

A. M.

Engraved on the inside of the ring were those two letters. Who was A. M.? Maxie's breath caught in her throat. Sarah Spinelli would be S.S., that was sure enough. Why did she have a ring with those initials inside of it? Why was it kept along with her cross necklace? This was fascinating, but Maxie knew she was walking into something bigger than her. Her mind ran wild with possibilities. The man in the picture from earlier in the evening stuck out in her mind. Spinelli might not want to discuss it, but damn it, she wanted know.

Replacing the necklace and pouch in the drawer, Maxie was about to investigate under the bed when a journal caught her eye. Spinelli needed lessons in keeping good stuff hidden. Pausing for a moment, Maxie wondered if she should read it. She decided any journal entries two years or older (considering that was how long he'd been in Port Charles) were of the public domain.

It opened easily as if it had been begging to be read for years. He didn't even have the common sense to lock it. Maxie's hands were clammy as she turned the pages. A lot of it was computer coding. She didn't know what it meant, but she could recognize the mathematical order of the writing of something way too complicated for her to understand when she saw it. He must have written a few codes in here. They were probably secret viruses, something deliciously destructive. She grinned wickedly at the thought of the devil that sat on Spinelli's shoulder. You didn't become a hacker and never utilize some of the trickster programs out there. He was after all, the assassin of the internet. Oh yes, Spinelli had a demon side. It made her chuckle.

In between the pages of codes, Maxie found a list.

Hack into the FBI

Go to Europe

Meet George Lucas

Find out who killed JFK

Fall in love and stay that way!

Find mom.

Read The Hobbit in Latin

Maxie read the list with glistening eyes, not because of what it said, but because of what Spinelli had scratched out. Number six was marked through, as if he had given up on that particular task or no longer wanted it there. And the words 'fall in love and stay that way' were underlined. It just the small things that brought tears to her eyes. Spinelli needed to open up to her more, share this stuff with her. It was moments like this that she realized how little she knew about him. He rambled on and on all the time but never spilled anything like this.

She heard footsteps creeping up the staircase. Slamming the journal, Maxie pushed it back in the drawer and spun around in the computer desk chair just in time for Spinelli to open the door. She smiled a little at him, trying to be innocent.

"So…" He sighed, standing arms crossed in front of her. "That went…well."

"Hah." Maxie scoffed. She stood up and quickly pulled him into her arms. "She doesn't like me at all."

Spinelli kissed the top of her head. "Oh, Sassy Maxie…She's just a hard person to connect with. I think it's going to be fine."

Maxie smiled at her nickname. It didn't matter what Granny called Maxie behind her back, as long as Spinelli kept calling her that to her face.

"Okay. I believe you."

Tipping her head up Maxie caught him in a kiss. He slid his hands up her arms as if holding on for balance. Maxie giggled a little, biting his lip gently, which made him shiver and his tongue fight hers, begging for more. Breaking the kiss, Maxie pulled him as close as possible. She kissed down his neck as his hands traveled into her hair. Goosebumps rose on her arm, heat in her stomach. She pulled away briefly to catch a breath. Examining Spinelli's neck, she froze.

"Oops."

Spinelli looked down at her concerned. "What?"

She tried to rub the little mark on his neck away with her hand but it didn't go away. "Oops."

"What?" Spinelli felt at his neck.

"I think…I think I gave you a hickey…" She groaned.

"WHAT?" Spinelli scrambled to the mirror hanging on his closet door. Craning his neck, Spinelli tried to see the spot. He spun around, looking at Maxie with an evil look.

"You most scandalous creature!" In a few short paces he was back at her side. In a sweeping motion he had her in his arms and was kissing her like he hadn't ever kissed her before. This was the passion she'd been waiting to see form him for some time. She felt honestly swept up in him for the first time. The change that come over his demeanor in just few short hours was miraculous. This trip, though it included a most intimidating Granny, seemed to be helping already.

Caleb must have felt ignored, because he kicked right at that moment. Maxie didn't break their kiss but tried to direct Spinelli's hands to the fluttering before it stopped. He laughed in their 

kiss, breaking from her. He walked backwards, tugging her with him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Spinelli brought the round stomach close to him, wrapping his arms around Maxie's waist.

"Hey Caleb. Nice of you to say hello to use this wondrous evening….HEY!" Spinelli sprung up, enthusiastically. He headed over to the drawer at the desk that Maxie hadn't got a chance to look through yet. Scrambling a little, he found what he was looking for. It was a small stuffed green frog.

"This was mine..." He explained a little shyly. "I know it's dumb for a guy to keep something like that…"

"Awww…Spinelli…" She picked it up and sat it on top of her stomach. "Here you go Caleb. You've got a toy now." Spinelli laughed and flopped onto his bed.

"I've got a box of stuff like that in the attic."

Maxie's interest perked up. "You've got stuff from when you were a kid in the attic? I want to see it…"

She sat down next to him, twisting his hair between her fingers. He gazed up at her as if amazed that she was there at all.

"Well, yeah…"

"Do you think there is anything up there about your mom or dad?"

Spinelli's eyes flashed. "Probably. My mom grew up in this house…"

"And you don't want to…ya know…look through it?"

"No."

"Well, I think that's silly. You deserve closure."

"I don't need closure. I don't care about that stuff. I just want you and Caleb, and that can be my family."

Maxie lay down next to him. Scooting into the curves of his body, Maxie snuggled into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her.

"You wanna know something funny?" Spinelli muttered.

Maxie breathed in the scent of his cologne. "Hmm?"

He paused. "That stuffed frog…I always called it 'Bird'. I don't know why."

Maxie giggled. "That's funny. Maybe you thought it was a bird."

Spinelli shook his head. "No…I knew what a bird was. I have yet to figure that one out."

"Weird."

"Yeah…strange."

**…………………..**

**A/N: Woot! The mystery begins. You can start making guesses, I laced this chapter with clues.**

**Thanks for the encouragement! I appreciate everyone who reads this. I would love to hear your conspiracy theories. This could be FUN!**

**Next Chapter: Spinelli runs into old faces from high school. **


	26. Grocery List

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 26: Grocery List**

**"Wait wait, stop!" **

**"What, Sassy Max?" **

**Spinelli froze the shopping cart, waiting for Maxie to catch up with him. He hadn't even realized she was so far behind. Hobbling a little, Maxie wiggled over to him, the strappy sandal on one of her feet hanging loose around her ankle. Spinelli couldn't help but laugh at the way she moved as she hastily tried to catch up with him. **

**"What happened?" He pointed at her shoe and she grumbled, grabbing hold of the front of his shirt as she drew near so that she could balance herself.**

**"The stupid strap came undone! Cheap knockoffs…never again."**

**Maxie tried to fix her shoe but had a hard time bending properly without losing her balance. Spinelli stood prone as she gripped onto him, amused. People passed by the couple, staring at the cursing blonde. Spinelli smiled apologetically to an old woman who breezed by throwing a glare as Maxie exclaimed something not fit for public appearances. **

**He contemplated helping her, but Spinelli found that she was pretty ridiculously amusing in her current state. A laugh escaped him that he regretted painfully when Maxie swatted his chest.**

**"Hey, hey, hey! I can't get my shoe on because you're first yet-to-be-born is blocking my view and making it very hard to bend. Don't you dare make fun of me!"**

**Spinelli rolled his eyes at her words. He snuck an arm around her waist to help her balance a little, dragging her out of the way of the supermarket's entrance over to a corner of baked goods so they could be stop being an obstruction. Maxie protested, saying she didn't need his help. **

**"Shhh Scene Maker." **

**"I'm not making a scene!"**

**Spinelli just laughed and dropped down to the ground, eyelevel with Maxie's tanned legs that peaked out from her fuchsia sundress. It horrified him a little that he knew the difference between fuchsia and purple, but that was what life with Maxie Jones involved, knowing the subtle differences in colors. He silently thanked the Strappy Sandal Gods for tricky footwear that allowed him to gander at her stems with the primary purpose of chivalry. **

**"Slip your foot back in it properly," Spinelli ordered, unwrapping the twisted straps from her ankle. Her small foot wiggled into place. Glancing up at Maxie quickly he caught her **

**biting her lip and smiling down at him. That sort of look would not help him focus on the task at hand so he broke her gaze quickly. Delicately buckling the strap, Spinelli tried to focus on the task at hand without his hard drive frying as he touched her delicate skin. He finished, brushing his fingertips up her calve as he stood. Maxie was pouting a little, obviously joking, and he couldn't help but get goosebumps knowing she was his. **

**"I could've fixed it myself." **

**Spinelli brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, suddenly wishing they were back in his room tangled up in the blankets of his bed together. He settled on pressing a kiss onto her forehead, tugging her back over to their abandoned shopping cart. **

**His grandmother had requested they make a trip to the town grocery store since she didn't have enough food for the three of them. It was a little odd driving back into the old town of Oakfield…subtle changes to the scenery rattled his brain. He hadn't expected it to stay the same old town from his teen years, but it was different to be confronted with your past. They had passed the high school he attended, the park where he used to smoke weed, a rundown arcade he haunted a lot in his spare time. **

**Now they were strolling through the small grocery store that he used to shoplift orange sodas from. His grandmother didn't believe on "splurging" on his soda fix when he lived with her, so…desperate times, desperate measures. Spinelli couldn't properly guess how much bottled goodness he had slipped into his messenger bag back in the day. As he and Maxie made their way down the soda aisle, Spinelli felt all grown up as he placed a liter of his favorite drink into the shopping cart, for the first time ever paying honest cash for the product in that store. **

**"I want some fruit punch." **

**Maxie reached up for the red drink, standing on her tiptoes to grip bottle on the highest shelf. The bottled slipped from her hand, going splat on the white tiled floor, red liquids shooting in all directions. **

**"Oh crap!" Maxie exclaimed, stepping around the growing puddle. "I made a mess."**

**Spinelli watched the red and cringed, feeling nauseous. **

**"Spinelli?" Maxie asked gently. He must have looked as sick has he felt because she gently rubbed down his arm, concern etched in her eyes. Clearing his throat, he tried to find his voice, blocking out the image that wanted to race through his head. **

**"I …I don't like the puddle," Spinelli replied lamely, waving a hand in the direction of the red. He sighed. At least he didn't want to shrivel up in a ball…**

**"It's okay, Spin. Really. Just…focus on me."**

**Spinelli nodded, closing his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him supportively. Her warm round belly pressed into his waist. This was a lot better than shuddering alone. Maxie ran a hand down his back soothingly. Briefly kissing his cheek, she leaned back from their embrace, her blue looking back at him concerned.**

**"I'll go get a person to mop it up, okay?" Maxie spoke gently. "Just stay here and catch your breath." **

**Spinelli nodded as she grinned a little and trotted away. He would always wonder how she managed to do that…that thing where she accepted him. **

**……………**

**Maxie headed for the cash registers, hoping find someone that could help clean up the mess she made. She tried to hurry. Spinelli was all alone back there. It would be horrible if she returned to him and he was slipping away. Something told her he could do this on his own, get through that fear. **

**"Hey Sweetie, looking for something?" **

**Maxie froze and spun around and came face to face with a burly troll of a man. He was tall, blonde and young. The troll man looked as though he was a high school football player gone pudgy and soft—obviously once very beefed up but hadn't paid much attention to his physical looks in a long while. Maxie took a few steps back out of instinct. **

**"Err…I spilled a drink on aisle nine…"**

**The troll man winked at her. "No problem little missy…"**

**He walked behind a register and grabbed a bucket and mop, winking at her again. Maxie grinned through her disgust at the fact that this guy was raking his eyes over her as if she were a piece of meat. _Since when do I not like being checked out?_ Since Spinelli? Huh. Odd. **

**"Roll out!" Troll-Man said, waving for her to follow him. Maxie shimmied alongside him, apologizing profusely in order to cut the awkwardness between them. **

**"Seriously, don't worry about it, doll. Cute girl like yourself…I'd be honored to help you out a little."**

**"Um. Yeah…"**

**"You new in town?" He questioned as they strolled past the baked goods. Maxie counted the aisles that distanced her from Spinelli and wished this weird stroll was over. **

**"Um."**

**"You know, I could show you around…" Mitch winked, wiggling his eyebrows. Maxie fought back the urge to vomit as his pimpled face contorted suggestively in her direction. He wouldn't be so unattractive if he wasn't trying so hard to impress her with his lame pick up lines.**

**"That's sweet…but….I really don't know you."**

**Troll-Man froze in the middle of the aisle and pointed a finger to his name tag. It read 'hello, my name is MITCH'. Maxie smiled the fakest toothy grin she could muster and gave Mitch-Troll-Man a thumbs up. **

**"Oh look, pretzels," Maxie snatched a bag from the shelf behind her and started their walk again. She took bigger steps this time, hearing the sloshing of Mitch's bucket of water growing farther and farther away from her as she turned down the soda aisle. Spinelli was leaning against the shopping cart staring off into space but instantly lit up when he saw her. **

**"A guy with a mop is right behind me," Maxie explained as she hurried over to him, scooting around the juice on the ground. Spinelli's eyes widened as she drew nearer, looking over her shoulder. **

**"What?" **

**"Well if it isn't Daaaaamian!" **

**Mitch-Troll-Man screeched mockingly as he turned down the aisle, freezing by the jugs of lemonade. He leaned on the mop, grinning wickedly. Maxie could almost feel the daggers Spinelli's glare was throwing Mitch's way brush past her hair. She froze in between the two, backing into the shelves as the two men stared each other down like an old west duel.**

**"Mitch." Spinelli spat. Maxie tried to figure out what was going on but knew better than to ask. Obviously he and Mitch knew each other, and it wasn't pretty. Something told her not to say a word.**

**"I thought I ran you out of town," Mitch sneered. He gripped the mop tightly, taking few slow steps forward.**

**"I never ran from you."**

**"Sure did. Me and Braden scared you good." **

**"I think you mean 'Braden and I scared you'. At least, that would be the intelligent phrasing."**

**"Still a grammar geek."**

**"And…You're still a tool." Spinelli shrugged his shoulders lightly as if pitying the burly troll in front of him. **

**Maxie chirped up. "Um…Could you just mop up the mess?" **

**Mitch grinned at Maxie, taking a few more steps forward. "Just a second, baby." **

**Spinelli looked from Maxie to Mitch and back again, horrified. She shrugged, confused. Obviously Mitch hadn't grasped the concept that Maxie was actually with Spinelli. Or, perhaps he had and he just didn't care. Spinelli flushed red with anger at the idea that this particular man was hitting on her.**

**Mitch spun the mop around in his hands. "So, tell me Daaamian…whatcha doin back in Oakfield?" He spoke in a singsong voice that made Spinelli audibly grind his teeth. Maxie held back, observing. **

**"Buying orange soda. Two for one special."**

**"You know, they canceled my football scholarship because of what you did," Mitch barked, the grin falling fast from his pockmarked face. Spinelli took a step forward, clenching his fists. **

**"Mitch…you mean what YOU did to ME," he hissed. **

**Mitch shot him a rude gesture and looked at Maxie. "Since you're new to town, babydoll, you should know that this hick right here can get you good weed and good grades, but boy can't get a girl to save his life. Pathetic son of a bitch. Sorry, sweetness, didn't mean to cuss like that."**

**"Spinelli…what is he talking about?" Maxie blurted. She had been focusing so much on Mitch that she had forgotten Spinelli was still there. He was seething. Maxie inched towards him, afraid she was going to have to hold him back from the guy. **

**"Oh…Sweetheart…don't tell me you know this guy already?" Mitch frowned. "See, this scum--"**

**"Shut up, Mitch. Screw you and your history lesson." Spinelli pushed his hair out of his eyes nervously.**

**"What, Damian? Don't like the truth? You punk ass. See, he used to tutor chicks in high school for cash, but we all know it was so he could score with them."**

**"I didn't try to score with them, Mitch. I think you are thinking of yourself…always inviting a different girl to one of your football games."**

**Maxie decided to take action. She didn't understand at all what was going on between these two, but she couldn't just stand there and let Troll-Man gang up on Spinelli. Sashaying over to him, Maxie wrapped her arms around him tightly. Mitch's eyes popped out of his head as if someone had hit him extremely hard.**

**"I don't appreciate you talking to _my husband_ like that. Thanks." Maxie found Spinelli's hand.**

**"Oh babydoll, please don't tell me you are with Damian here?" **

**Spinelli smiled big. "Mitch…sometimes people move on with their lives…marry hot blondes…and sometimes people become store clerks at the Oakfield SuperMart." **

**Maxie couldn't help but laugh at being called a hot blonde by Spinelli. See, she liked that kind of blatant flattery. **

**"Hey, _babydoll_," Maxie gazed up at Spinelli with a sort of theatric love, emphasizing 'babydoll'. "Let's ditch Mitch, okay?" **

**Mitch took a few steps forward, right into the fruit punch. In an instant he had slipped and fallen hard on the ground, splashing in the juice, his mob and bucket clanging around beside him. The bucket waters splashed up and onto Mitch's pants. For a second, no one said anything. Maxie felt Spinelli shaking and realized he was holding in a laugh. He couldn't hold it for much longer and burst forth a great laugh until he turned red in the face. Spinelli grabbed Maxie's hand and tugged her and the cart down the rest of the aisle, stumbling over his own feet as his laughter took hold of him.**

**Maxie pulled on his sleeve when they made their way down the bread aisle. "What was that all about?"**

**Spinelli wiped tears of mirth from his eyes and sighed. "Oh…That's a long story."**

**"I want to know."**

**Gripping the basket to gain enough strength to stand on his own, Spinelli paused. "Well…like he said…I used to tutor these girls in high school. They'd pay me or get me primo weed…something like that…"**

**Maxie glared. "And you WERE trying to score with them."**

**Spinelli shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Not really…and I wasn't exactly what they'd be interested in anyways…But Mitch's girlfriend, Denise started asking for help…and he thought I was sleeping with her or something…"**

**Tossing a bag of dinner rolls in the cart, Spinelli seemed to shift in attitude. He wasn't laughing anymore. Pressing his hands into his eyes, Spinelli seemed years away. Maxie ran a hand down his arm.**

**"What happened?"**

**"He beat the crap out of me…got a concussion when he hit my head against the wall in the senior hallway. The school pressed charges…I guess they took away his scholarship."**

**"You guess?"**

**"I got the hell out of Oakfield as soon as they handed me a diploma. I didn't stick around for the fall out."**

**"I'm so sorry Spinelli…" Maxie pulled him to her. Spinelli kissed her temple. **

**"I didn't leave because of him. I left because I wanted to. Like I said…he didn't scare me away."**

**Maxie swayed him a little. "You just wanted to leave?"**

**"And I'm glad I did…" Spinelli muttered by her ear. "It's been insane in Port Charles…and you are probably the craziest thing that's happened to me…but…What's life without a little crazy?"**

**"Normal?" Maxie pondered, snuggling into his chest.**

**"Yeah…who needs that?"**

**Spinelli pulled away, kissing her swiftly. "Can you believe THAT guy was Mr. Popular? I mean…how many times did he call you 'baby'?"**

**Maxie laughed. "I thought he was going to offer to be my baby daddy." She jumped on the end of the cart. Spinelli rolled his eyes and pushed them forward. **

**"Hey…I didn't get my fruit punch!" **

…………**.**

**A/N: Sorry…not the best update…and I know it's been two weeks…I had finals, moved back home, and then lacked creativity. Hope you can forgive me. Reviews do inspire writing though. **

**Next Chapter: Spinelli and Maxie go into the attic.**


	27. Out of Sight, Out of Mind

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 27: Out of Sight, Out of Mind**

Afternoon light streamed in through the glass window over the kitchen sink, glowing against his pale skin. Maxie peaked around the corner as he put up the bags of groceries. She should have been helping him, but Maxie couldn't help but be frozen in place. There was something about catching him in a moment like this that amazed her. Spinelli actually moved differently when he didn't think anyone was watching. It was as if the social stigmas took their weight off of his shoulders and he could be in motion with confidence.

The plastic bags rustled around his feet as he shimmied from pantry to cabinet to fridge dispersing the food to each proper place. A distinct tune was hummed cheerfully by him as he made his way about the kitchen, pausing only momentarily when he realized Maxie was watching. Spinelli rolled his eyes and smiled, scooting a bag of chips into the back of the pantry.

"Done!" He exclaimed, giving her a cheesy thumbs up. Maxie laughed. In a few steps he crossed the kitchen and scooped her up into an embrace, swaying her back and forth as he nuzzled her neck. She wrapped around him like ivy, breathing in his cologne.

"You're Granny isn't here…"

"Mmhmmm…this is indeed a true statement."

Spinelli gently kissed her skin, laughing a little to himself. Maxie stood on tiptoe to meet him in a kiss, a hint of orange on his lips, she assumed from the soda he'd just purchased. He obviously had a little fooling around on his mind, which would be nice, but Maxie couldn't help but see a great opportunity before the two of them in that moment. Maxie broke away from his lips with a little hesitation, knowing her suggestion might ruin the great mood between them if he was offended.

"Well…What I meant was…"

Kissing her bare shoulder, Spinelli didn't seem to be listening. "Hmm?"

"I was thinking, since your grandmother is out…we could look around in the attic. You know…look at some of your stuff from when you were a kid."

Maxie winced a little as she felt Spinelli stiffen in her arms. "Or not. We don't have to."

He pulled away from her quickly, picking up the plastic bags off the floor. Their rustling seemed to mimic the confusion in Spinelli's motions. Maxie backed up a little, giving him some room. Tossing his collection into the garbage, he paused, his back to her. Maxie had noticed that whenever he was stressed, Spinelli would run his hands through his hair in an extremely odd way, as if pushing his thoughts around as he did so. He was doing that now, and Maxie wished she could take back her request seeing how much it upset him.

"Maxie, I don't want to go digging around up there and find my mom's old things."

"Okay, well," Maxie tried to play it cool. "I didn't mean your mom's stuff…Honest. I just want to look through your things…That could be fun…"

Spinelli sighed and turned around quickly. He was biting his lip, thinking hard. A small smiled formed in the corner of his mouth. They were halfway out the doorway before Maxie realized he had agreed to take her into his past.

"...Come on…"

Spinelli brought her to the end of the hallway and began reaching for a small handle in the ceiling, pulling on it just enough to let the attic door to open. He tugged the ladder down and put it in place, testing his weight on it a little as dust crumbled into his hair. Coughing a little, Spinelli frowned at the ladder.

"This ladder…I don't want you to go up it."

Maxie huffed. "Spinelli!"

He waved his hands. "It doesn't look like the most sturdy contraption and if you fell or slipped and hurt your beautiful blonde and pregnant self I …I don't know what I would do."

"Aww…"

"It's just… a bunch of dusty old junk and not worth stressing you."

Spinelli looked at her with pitiful eyes and Maxie saw right through him. He wanted to go up into the attic just as badly as she did, but he was afraid. In an instant, she was climbing up the ladder, carefully of course, Spinelli protesting by grabbing her skirt tail as she went higher and higher.

"You had me at dusty old junk."

Spinelli sighed. "Please be careful!"

…………….

Maxie pondered to herself, a little frustrated that she hadn't found anything in all of Spinelli's stuff so far that would give her more clues about him. She'd already gone through two boxes without success. Spinelli was enthralled with something he had found, a silly grin plastered on his face.

"What's that?"

"My box of action figures." Spinelli held up a Superman. Maxie rolled her eyes.

"Superman. Do you have the cape and tights too?"

"Probably, somewhere in this mess."

Maxie laughed, peering around in the attic for some sort of shiny clue that would catch her attention as Spinelli scanned through a box that obviously amused his inner six year old. If I were a piece of my boyfriend's past, where would I be hiding? The floorboards creaked a little as she made her way over to the shelf closest to her. As good a place to start as any, Maxie tried to tug down a box on the top shelf, knowing that the higher up something was usually the more likely it would be the case that someone didn't want it in easy reach.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get this box…"

Spinelli made his way over to her. "Here, I got it."

Once she was settled down on the ground with the box, Maxie knew she'd picked the right one. This container didn't have little boy toys or a grandmother's old things, but instead was filled with feminine trinkets, journals, clothing, and jewelry. She froze. This was more than she'd expected. It felt like breathing in the air of a ghost. Caleb moved a little, something he seemed to always do when she was on to something. Her baby was just as sneaky as her.

She reached for a grey striped scarf, the only masculine thing in the box.

………………….

_Andrew leaned against the wall and watched his little brother's band play one of their slow ballads. They weren't that bad, needed to practice more, but they were definitely better than he expect them to be. This venue was perfect for their first show. A little club in the college district…he couldn't help but think his brother might have actually taken some of his advice._

"_Hey, you dropped this," a soft voice said to him as he felt a tap on his shoulder. Andrew turned around to face a small redhead holding his striped scarf out to him. _

"_Thanks!" Andrew replied, grinning at the girl. She wasn't really a girl, just young. Maybe a college freshman or sophomore. He was instantly drawn to her bright green eyes that she lined heavily with dark makeup. They sparkled even in the dark music venue. _

_The redhead smiled a little and waved as she walked away. Andrew stammered a little on a few words that he was trying to form, hoping to call her back over to him. _

"_Andrew, did you get her number?" He was once again caught off guard, this time by his friend Dylan clapping him on the shoulder. Andrew rolled his eyes, trying to play the innocent._

"_What?" _

"_Sarah Spinelli! She's a cutie. I met her last week at Tim's party." _

"_Party girl, huh?" Andrew played coy, wrapping the scarf around his neck. He wanted to know about the girl with bright eyes, but he couldn't act like it front of Dylan. Dylan wouldn't ever let it go. _

"_Oh, big time. Pill popper. Cute girl though. Freshmen at the university…kinda young for you…" Dylan leaned against the wall, his attention going back to the band. _

_Andrew didn't understand. That girl was some sort of druggie? "Seriously? She didn't look like the type." _

"_Andrew…come on…she's just having a little fun. She's good lookin! You should get her number." _

_He felt his eyes raking over the room, trying to spot her red hair amongst a sea of brunettes and blondes. Once he spotted her in the middle of the dance floor, his body pushed away from the wall before his mind ever really registered he was moving. _

_The lead singer of the band crooned "she will take all of you" as Andrew walked over to Sarah, parting through the thick crowd. Andrew couldn't help the hairs standing up on the back of his neck as those words registered in his mind. That was a pretty dumb lyric; he would have to talk to his brother about changing the song. _

…………

A small concert ticket was sticking out of the corner of a book. Maxie flipped it over, noticing the date. It from the same year Spinelli was born, maybe nine months or so.

…………

"_Did you have a good time tonight?" Andrew kissed her temple, wrapping the sheets around them both. Her eyes were clear tonight. He was glad for that. Sarah was popping pills more and more often, not just when she was partying. He worried about her. It wasn't like he could tell her what to do, he wasn't her parent. Just her boyfriend…just her enabler. He knew it was true, but he couldn't let her go. _

_Sarah snuggled into his bare chest. "It was a good show. The band was different, but I liked them."_

_Andrew pet her hair. "I love you."_

_She chuckled a little. "I love you." _

_He wished she would stay like this. _

……….

Maxie put the concert ticket back in the book, reaching back into the box blindly. Her fingertips brushed against cold metal. She lifted the object out from its long hibernation. It was a small figurine of the Eiffel Tower.

…………

_Sarah couldn't look at him in the eyes. Her head was pounding, she couldn't really think straight. Gripping the dresser to steady herself, Sarah focused on the Eiffel Tower figurine on the countertop, trying to make the room stop spinning. _

"_Sarah, where have you been?" Andrew pleaded with her, tears in his voice. She stayed silent, knowing he didn't want to hear her lie. She didn't want to lie to him anyways. It was mutually beneficial for her to stay silent. _

_Slowly, Sarah looked him in the eye. He was framed in the doorway, flushed, probably exhausted from being out all day in the cold looking for her. Did he check the bar? The college library? The hotel down the road? All places he had found her before, a good a guess as any. He pushed his hair around on his head, in that odd way he always did, as if shuffling around his mind. She made fun of it sometimes. _

_Andrew looked at her, defeated. His spirit deflated before her eyes. "You're out of control. Gone all the time…I thought you were just having fun…I thought you would change…You're getting worse. I can't…I can't watch you…"_

_Sarah felt so angry at herself, knowing he was right, but couldn't admit it. "Then don't watch. Just go. Just leave me." _

_He froze at her words. "Okay. I will. I'm gone. Find me when you decide the pills aren't worth losing this." Andrew quickly ran his hands across his face, wiping tears out of his eyes as if pretending she couldn't see them. Sarah wished she could take back what she'd said. He was bluffing, surely._

_When he made a move to leave, Sarah bolted shakily for him. "NO! Please, no!"_

_But he pulled the door shut just as she reached for him. _

……………

"What are you looking at?" Spinelli asked quietly, watching her from across the room. Maxie shrugged innocently as she pulled out a bundle of documents all wrapped up in a rubber band. His eyes widened a little.

"What are these?" Maxie muttered, noticing how official they looked. The paper smelled of carbon and ink, legal documents. Spinelli pushed himself off the ground and headed over to sit with her, taking the documents out of her hand. As he unwrapped them, Spinelli grew tense.

"What?" Maxie tried to peer over his shoulder. He didn't stop her.

"Sarah Spinelli…Andrew Millhouse…Damian Millhouse…" He read to himself. Maxie scanned the paper, trying to figure out what was going on.

"I don't understand."

"Where did you find these?" Spinelli breathed in quickly, his eyes blurry with tears. Maxie pointed to the box.

"Spinelli, what is it?"

"Just give me a second." Spinelli rifled through the box, looking for some sort of answer to the mystery treading through his mind.

"I'm sorry--"

"This is all my mom's," Spinelli sputtered. "I didn't want to go through her things…"

"Spinelli, what is wrong?"

"He was trying to get me away from her!"

"What?"

Spinelli pushed the documents under her nose, pointing. "They're custody papers. She had custody of me, he wanted custody. That guy…that Andrew Millhouse…"

Maxie read the yellowing paper, her mouth slacking open. She hadn't ever expected this. She was just trying to be nosy, dig up some information, maybe get Spinelli to open up to her more.

"I thought Millhouse was my middle name," Spinelli stood, walking around in a circle. Maxie quickly rose to hold him, feeling as though he would dissolve into the wooden dusty floors if someone didn't catch him.

…….

_Andrew hadn't seen her in months. He was broken hearted, but knew it was the best thing for them to be apart. She'd gone back to live with her mom, he assumed. Maybe not. He could be wrong. It didn't matter. _

_Andrew hadn't seen her months, but couldn't stop thinking about her. _

_He moved in with his little brother after they broke up. His life was getting back to normal. Back to a time before Sarah Spinelli, her red hair, her green eyes, and her pills. Speaking of his brother, Riley, burst in the door of their apartment looking pale and flustered. Andrew rolled over a little on the couch to wave. _

"_Hey."_

"_Andrew…I just saw Brian."_

"_So?"_

"_Brian ran into Sarah. She's back in town."_

_Andrew blinked a little. Great. Out of sight, out of mind, not anymore. He pulled a blanket over his head. _

"_That's great, Riley. Thanks for the warning."_

"_Andrew…"_

"_What?"_

"_She's pregnant."_

_Andrew felt his heart beat twice._

…………………..

Spinelli pulled Maxie close, a million thoughts racing through his head. This was insanity.

"My dad?" was all he could say.

…………………

"_I was going to tell you," Sarah sobbed into his shoulder. He pulled her close, feeling numb, but knowing this was what he was supposed to do. Slow blinks clicked from his eyes as he registered what was really happening. His hand traveled down her frame, resting on the roundness of her stomach, trying to decide if it was real._

_His baby?_

………………

Spinelli breathed hard. He didn't know what to do. Here was a document telling him that his father not only had a name but a birth date, a driver's license number, a scratchy signature not unlike his own, and he had fought his mother for custody. Spinelli didn't even remember him.

"DAMIAN! What are you doing up in the attic?" His grandmother called to him loudly from the base of the ladder.

What did she know?

………………………………

**A/N: Thanks for being patient. I'm trying to retool the story so that I get this show on the road. **

**Leave your theories as to what happened in a review, a cookie to someone who gets it right. Lots of clues in the last few chapters. **

**What do you think about the flashbacks? I'm curious. **

**Next Chapter: Granny gives Spinelli little information, but he jackals all he needs to know. **


	28. Roads

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 28: Roads**

_Andrew held the phone in a tight grip. "I know Mrs. Spinelli…She's really trying to do better though for this baby…"_

"_She can only do better if she has you to help her. I swear, Andrew, that if you decide at the last minute that you are just not ready to be a father and you leave my daughter with that baby, so help me God I'll run you through the court system so fast you won't know what hit you."_

_The telephone receiver felt heavy in his hands. "You don't have to worry about that, Mrs. Spinelli…I'm not going anywhere."_

"_Andrew, You don't have to call me Mrs. Spinelli…You can call me Miriam."_

……_._

"Granny…I…I need to know…"

He was shaking like a leaf. The grey eyes of the woman who had raised him were shocked at the sudden line of questioning. Spinelli had asked her at least five rapid fire questions, each one earning a more complicated answer than the last. Who? What? When? Where? Why?...How? Miriam Spinelli stood frozen, blinking at him as if he were actually speaking a different language. Spinelli felt Maxie laid her small hands on his back supportively.

"…I don't know what to tell you, son," his grandmother replied dumbly.

"Andrew Millhouse. What do you know about him? Please, I have to know," Spinelli pleaded, gripping the custody papers in his hands.

"Andrew…"

"What?"

"He's your father."

Spinelli sucked in his breath harshly, knowing this had to have been truth but not comprehending it in the slightest. Why else would his name be on custody papers of all things.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?"

Miriam gazed at him, her eyes slowly falling to the ground. "There wasn't any reason to, Spinelli. He…he…"

"What?"

"He was gone before you were old enough to remember him. I thought it best to keep it that way."

Spinelli took a sharp step forward. "What do you mean gone?"

An energy seemed to pass over his grandmother, her face setting stern as and cold as stone. "No. You need to put it behind you, Damian. You know his name, there isn't any more to say."

Maxie huffed. "You know about his dad but you aren't going to tell him?"

Her words gave him a lot of fire. The blood in his veins seemed to be laced with some sort of drug that made him feel truly buzzing with interest. So many questions raced through his head, pictures of memories he thought were dreams starting to blend with reality. It was like having a word on the tip of your tongue, a memory stuck behind a brick wall. His grandmother knew so much more than she ever admitted and Spinelli had to hold himself back so that he didn't tear her down brick by brick for the answers.

"I have to know, Granny, please."

"Damian…don't ask me this…you know it hurts me to talk about your mother…"

"I'm not asking about _her_," Spinelli spat, venom in his tone. "I want to know about _him_."

He held up the yellowing court documents for her to see, so she couldn't look away. Why was she being so difficult? This wasn't a game, this was his life, his history, the blood running in his veins. She had no right. The white haired woman sighed heavily, tears building up in her eyes.

"If you are asking about him than you _are_ asking about her too, Damian. Leave it in the past, son."

……

"_He's so small, Andy. I feel like I'm going to break him."_

"_Sarah, you aren't going to break him. Aww…look at him…" _

_Andrew gazed down at the little figure in Sarah's arms. He scooted over on her bed a little more, reaching to gently brush the soft brown hair on the infant's head. His son…_

"_He didn't get your red hair, Sarah," Andrew laughed. Sarah turned snuggled into his chest, bringing the baby in between them. The little boy stayed asleep, serene and small._

…….

"Spinelli…" Maxie muttered behind him. He held up a shaking hand to silence her.

"Please. Just give me something. Some inkling of understanding. You can't just expect me to…to…ignore this!"

Her chalky white hands pushed a tear out of her eyes. "I can't do it, son. I'm too old to go back there. If you have to know…"

Spinelli cut her off. "Yes, I have to know"

Nodding in an accepting form, his grandmother seemed to understand. "Riley Millhouse. He lives in Lillia, where your mom went to university and your dad worked."

"Who?"

"Andrew's brother, Riley, your uncle. He can tell you what you want to know."

With that, Miriam sighed, defeated and headed into her den, closing the door behind her. The subject was over. She had given Spinelli just enough to find the answers himself. Spinning on his heel, he turned to a shocked looking Maxie who had tears of her own building behind blue eyes.

……

One year down.

Swilling together ingredients for her son's first birthday cake, Sarah couldn't help but wonder where the last year had gone.

She was tired. It was everyday, no breaks, always a mother, stress. She was too young to be doing this. How was she supposed to do this the rest of her life? One year down, one year Damian had to have her, her worthless self, as a mother. Surely he deserved better than her.

Thank God for Andrew.

"Hey…that looks good," Andrew snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He gently kissed the crook of her neck.

"Birthday cake." She muttered.

Andrew smiled a little. "It's really strange to think it's been a year, isn't it? Where did the time go, you know?"

She simply nodded in agreement. A small cry from the baby's room cut into the air. Andrew slunk away quickly.

"Sounds like the little bird is awake." He called excitedly as he left the room.

"Don't call him Bird, Andrew. That's so girly," Sarah grumbled, quickly dropping the spoon. She quickly filled a glass of water, thinking very carefully about what she was about to do. In her pocket were three white pills burning to slither down her throat. For some reason, this was the day she gave up.

……...

"What do you want to do?" Maxie asked. The adrenaline pumping through his veins told him the answer.

"Lillia is two hours away. We could be there by dinner." He paused, waiting for her approval. She had to be okay with this. If for some reason Maxie thought it was better for him to stay put, he would listen to her. For some reason, he knew she would be right about whatever they decided to do.

Maxie nodded slowly and reached for his hand. "Let's go."

………

_Andrew stumbled into the dimly lit living room, the glow of only one small lamp lighting up the room. Something was wrong, he knew it instantly. A pair of green eyes looked up at him from the floor. Damian sat on the ground, playing with a toy frog peacefully. _

"_Hey little Bird." Andrew waved at the toddler, trying to stay calm, wondering where the hell Sarah was. An electric charge raced down his spine. _

"_Dadadadadaaa…" Damian replied. _

"_Yeah…dad's home…" Andrew muttered, looking around the room for any sign of Sarah. Her keys were hanging up on the hook by the door, her car was in the driveway, but she wasn't watching Damian. He didn't want to start a fight with her tonight, but one might be inevitable. _

"_Sarah?" he called out. _

"_What?" she barked her response. He hadn't realized it, but she was sitting in the chair directly in front of him, the back of the chair blocking her tiny frame from sight. In her voice he could hear a sharpness that spit out at him in the dim light. Andrew went around the chair to face her, saddened instantly by what he saw. His lovely Sarah was grey and dazed. Damian bounced the toy frog on the floor, oblivious that his mother and father were caught in a fight that was going on only between their respective glares._

"_You're high." _

"_No I'm not," Sarah mumbled, burying her face in the arm of the chair. _

_Andrew closed his eyes, holding the bridge of his nose with one hand, trying to focus. "Did you take our son out with you to score some pills?"_

"_I didn't go anywhere, Andrew."_

_He gaped. "…Did…did you invite them here?" When she didn't answer Andrew knew that was the case. "My God, Sarah…those people know where we live?" _

_Sarah stayed quiet, but curled up in a ball in her chair. Damian rolled around on the ground, still oblivious, humming strange noises. Andrew watched him quietly, trying to keep his composure as thoughts raced through his head. The little boy never seemed to be quiet, that was one reason Andrew called him Bird…a little bird that always managed to sing some song. Andrew knew what he had to do, and it broke his heart. He loved Sarah, but he was just enabling her._

_Scooping up Damian in his arms, Andrew headed for the door. Sarah perked up, twisting in the chair. Her green eyes, the ones that matched their son's, sparkled dully at him, like asphalt does on a bright day. _

"_Where are you going?" She slurred. _

_He paused. "I'm going to go move back in with Riley. If something changes, come find us." _

_Sarah's eyes grew big with realization. "No…" she moaned, reaching for him. Andrew shook his head furiously and backed out the door. Damian started tugging on his shaggy hair as they made the way to the car. _

"_Mamamaaa…"_

"_Shhh…" Andrew muttered quietly, pressing a kiss into his son's forehead. "It's okay 'Mian."_

………..

Maxie drove quietly, one of her hands tangled in Spinelli's. He was miles away in his own thoughts, forehead leaned against the window.

"I'm so sorry, Spinelli," she spoke quietly. Maxie felt guilty.

"Why?"

"I…I was so nosey…I didn't really think we'd find anything like this…"

Spinelli sighed, shifting his hair awkwardly out of his eyes like he always did when he was nervous. The sound of paper crinkling tinkled in the air as Spinelli crushed the custody papers tightly in his hand, holding them with a death grip.

"I don't understand why my Granny wouldn't tell me…"

Maxie blinked. "Maybe…whatever it is…is really painful."

"Turn left up ahead," Spinelli interrupted her suggestion as if he didn't want to hear it. Maxie went back to driving in silence, knowing that he needed to just be alone with his thoughts at that moment. Heaven knew that she had her own family issues…it wasn't something that was easy to discuss, ever.

……..

"_So…what you're saying is…Sarah gets Damian?" Andrew shuddered, bringing the sobbing child to his chest. Damian was sigh at the moment, a cold, and he really didn't appreciate being awoken from his nap for his father and some strange woman to come and fight around him. _

_His lawyer sighed, pulling out some papers from her briefcase. "Mr. Millhouse, you have to look at this from the judge's perspective. She is the mother. The court always favors the mother. You took the child without asking her permission. Even though you allege drug abuse there is no proof of that. She has as much right to be taking care of him as you do at this point."_

"_But…you're my lawyer. You're supposed to make it so I get to keep him. What am I paying you for?" Andrew yelled. The toddler in his lap squirmed and wrapped around his chest, pulling at the buttons on his shirt. Andrew pulled him closer, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. _

"_This is just temporary, Andrew…until the custody hearing…play by the judge's rules now and you will look very good in court in two months." _

_Andrew blanched. "Two months? I can't see him for two months…"_

_The lawyer pat his hand gently. "I know…it will be hard…"_

"_Dada go sleep." Damian demanded, tugging on his shirt. Andrew kissed the top of his head. The lawyer frowned. _

"_Your little boy is right…You look exhausted Andrew….you need to take care of yourself…are you getting sick? You're so pale." _

_Andrew shook his head. "I don't have time to be sick."_

_The lawyer bowed her head. "I have to take him now, Mr. Millhouse."_

………

A grey house at the end of the long dirt road came into view. Spinelli shuddered a little inside, his stomach tying up in knots. They had the right house, he was sure. The man at the gas station down the street knew exactly who they were talking about when Spinelli and Maxie had asked if 

he knew Riley Millhouse. It was only a matter of minutes until he met the man that was supposedly his uncle. A light blue mustang convertible sat in the driveway. Yellow lights glowed inside the house. Maxie glanced quickly at him as she slowed the car down to park.

Spinelli was frozen in his seat. This suddenly felt like a horrible idea. The past was the past right? What was the use of opening up old wounds. An orange glow filled the car as the sun was setting. The warmth on his cheeks from the streaks of light made the butterflies in his stomach settle down a little.

"We can go," Maxie suggested politely, her hand paused on the key in the ignition. Spinelli watched the house, as if waiting for it to give him the answers. A dog started barking in the backyard, jumping on the fence at the arrival of their car. Spinelli swallowed hard. He needed more time…

The blinds in the window of the house cracked open a little before shutting back after a single moment. His breath hitched in his chest. A few seconds later the front door was opening, a dark haired man in his early forties stepping out onto the small porch. His face was confused as he eyed the foreign car and its passengers in the driveway.

This man was familiar, oddly known to him.

Before even registering what he was doing, Spinelli's was gripping the handle of the car door and stepped out of the vehicle with speed in his step.

"Can I help you?" The man asked, hesitation in his voice.

Spinelli realized he hadn't prepared a speech in the car. How did he expect to ask this man anything?

"Good evening sir…Umm…" Spinelli sputtered. Maxie was out of the car now, her small footsteps ringing quietly behind him under the gravel.

The man took a few steps off the porch slowly. "Do I know you?"

Spinelli felt those butterflies coming alive again. "I believe that is possible."

There was a pause that fell in the air around them as the man blinked a few times, a shocked expression coming over his face.

"Damian?"

……….

**A/N: Dang I know, I know, this took forever…This is probably one of my hardest updates ever and I'm so glad it's done. I am having a hard time updating these days when I'm back home…never any privacy for writing…I apologize. Hopefully you guys will stick with **

**me…Reviews have been slow…I don't know if it's a lack of interest in this story or summertime distracting people but I really hope you all take the time to review because it's the highlight of my day to see your reactions to this story. **

**The parental stuff will be over within the next chapter or so, go ahead and make last minute predictions…the big reveal is next chapter and then were back home in Port Chuck. **

I finished The Worst Kind of Weapon finally by the way. Also, don't be shocked if you see a _new_ story from me popping up over the next week or so.

**Next Chapter: Riley fills in some of the holes to Spinelli's history.**


	29. Dialogue

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 29: Dialogue**

Riley Millhouse quickly started moving stuff around in his living room, as if trying to tidy up the place. Spinelli really didn't think that was what he was doing though. Shaking hands and a bead of sweat growing on his forehead made it clear that he needed some time to think and was stalling for time. Spinelli lingered in the doorway, letting Riley take all the time necessary in order for him gather his thoughts. Maxie tentatively inched behind him, resting her hand on the small of his back.

He had thought this would have been different. More emotional…shocking or something. Maybe his nerves were just dull.

"I'm sorry…the place is a mess…I wasn't expecting anyone," Riley explained gruffly, moving some paperwork from his couch to the coffee table nearest him.

"No, it's fine, really." Maxie chirped up, startling Spinelli a little. Riley glanced at her quickly as if just realizing she was there.

He motioned for them to sit, jerkily flopping down in a chair across from the small loveseat. Spinelli bolted in a quick surge of energy with Maxie following right behind him. She caught his hand as they settled down in their seat, squeezing his digits tightly as if to let him know it was okay, she was there.

Riley looked at them for a moment, or at least in their direction. Whether or not his thoughts were on them or miles away, Spinelli couldn't even begin to guess. Nonetheless, the focus on him made him nervous. He pushed the hair out of his eyes nervously. A sudden laugh from Riley made him and Maxie both jump.

"My god, you do that too," Riley muttered amusedly, his eyes sparkling a little. Spinelli glanced quickly at Maxie for an explanation, but she looked just as confused.

Riley quickly clarified himself. "That thing…when you pushed your hair around. Andrew did that all the time when he was nervous," Quickly mimicking his previous motion, Riley pushed down hair atop his head, copying Spinelli perfectly. He paused, swallowing hard. Tapping nervously on the arm of his chair, he continued. "It was how I could tell when he was edgy or panicked…Usually something he thought he would be grounded for."

Spinelli felt like he'd been hit in the gut. Riley wasn't going to hold back at all, was he? Going right for the jugular, the information he'd come to find out. A dry tongue made it hard to form words.

"He did that…he doesn't do it anymore?" Spinelli said stupidly.

Riley's eyes flashed. "You don't know?"

Spinelli shook his head.

"Andrew…" Riley began, looking genuinely shocked that he was having to explain this. He scooted forward in his chair. "He's been dead for almost eighteen years now…"

"I'm sorry." Spinelli didn't really know what he said that. He squeezed Maxie's hand, making sure she was still there. As if she knew that he needed her, Maxie spoke up.

"Mr. Millhouse, Spinelli has just found his father's name. We don't know anything about him other than that you are his brother…We came hoping you could explain things to him."

Riley paused, eyeing Maxie in an odd way. His gaze fell back onto Spinelli. "You mean…you don't know anything about him? You…don't remember him at all?"

Spinelli didn't respond. A guilt rose in his stomach. No, he didn't. Not a damn thing. Riley blinked, rubbing his temple a little.

"Well, I guess that makes sense…you were so little when he passed…But," Riley looked hopeful. "I…I guess I just didn't realize that Miriam wasn't going to tell you anything about him."

"Tell me. Please."

Riley genuinely smiled. "I can't believe you do that thing with your hair," he muttered. His eyes fell a little. "I'm sorry, Damian, I wasn't really expecting to really ever see you again. My life seems to be broken up into two different pieces of time—before Andrew died and after."

Spinelli squirmed a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just dropped in like this, I mean, I could've called or something, I don't mean to barge into your life like this."

Shaking his head fervently, Riley hushed him. "No, Damian, It's fine. I just haven't talked about my brother in a long time…this is kind of sudden, if you know what I mean, but I'll tell you whatever you need to know."

"Anything," Spinelli begged.

The room was still, dust floating around, glinting in the lamp light. The house looked old, lived in. Spinelli wondered if this was his father's family home, some sort of ancient place filled with ghosts. For a moment, Spinelli wondered if Riley Millhouse was one of those ghosts, only existing in that moment to tell him what he wanted to know about the past, but sure to disappear after they left, leaving the house cold and mute as if their encounter had never happened. At this point, it didn't seem impossible.

"I'm sorry…" Riley sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair. He pushed his eyes with both hands. "It's just very hard to think of where to start. I mean, my brother was my _hero_."

A heavy silence fell, but after a moment, Riley energetically continued. "He played in band all through college, this really cool local band that people came out to see. Your dad was the guitarist, and sometimes he'd sing, but he mostly just played the guitar. I thought he was so damn cool. As you can probably guess, I tried to get my own band together, but we weren't ever nearly as impressive," he explained quickly. Spinelli hung on every word.

"His last year in school he met your mom, and he was crazy about her. They were sweet, you know, playful…But Andrew always wanted Sarah to change her partying ways. He didn't think it was healthy…I think he was too in love with her really leave her, though. The one time he did, he couldn't stop thinking about how she was doing without him, and then of course we found out she was pregnant with you."

Spinelli's forgot to breathe. It seemed an unnecessary distraction.

Riley continued. "They were fine for a while. Everyone thought things were cool. Your dad got this job at an accounting office." Smiling wide, it seemed as though Riley was thinking of some sort of inside joke. "He was so 'cool' you know, but then he get's this completely conventional job working on people's taxes and stuff. It was kind of funny. Andrew was really good with numbers though, really smart. It came easy to him."

Maxie broke in. "Damian is really smart too. He's the local computer genius."

His uncle's eyes grew bright. "Really?...Well, I expect nothing less. The guys in his band would joke around with him every now and then about Andrew being responsible…but you know, they loved him, and he still found some time every now and then to play with them. He'd bring you along to practice a lot of the time. Acoustic sets, you know, the mellow stuff, nothing that would shock you or anything. The band I think considered you a mascot or something."

Blood rushed into his cheeks. Spinelli couldn't think of a time where he had felt more…wanted? Was that it? He couldn't really grasp the concept of what this man was saying. Wasn't his father supposed to be this menacing character that didn't give a damn about his son?

Riley jumped up from his chair, going to a bookshelf behind the couch eagerly. There were rows and rows of records, CDs, tapes, and movies. His fingers grazed over a row of tapes before finding the one that he wanted, plucking it from the bunch. Riley handed the tape over to him as if it were a priceless artifact. It turned out that it was, at least in Riley's eyes.

"His band recorded some stuff one day…just for fun…that's a copy of it. You can have it. It's your dad singing on the first and third song." Spinelli weighed the tape in his hand, clammy fingers gripping the plastic case tightly.

"Thank you."

"Anyways…yeah…things got bad with your mom. She was really young…Andrew was more mature, I guess…He adapted to being a parent. She just wasn't ready. At least, that's what I would assume. I mean, It was so confusing back then…One day they were fine and the next he's at my door in the middle of the night holding you and asking me if he can move in."

Now he was actually looking at the front door, as if seeing it all over in his head. Spinelli felt a chill go down his arms. Maxie scooted closer to him instinctively. If she wasn't there, could he have done this? Surely not.

"What happened?"

"I guess…Your mom found a lawyer…convinced a judge nothing was wrong and that your dad had actually taken you almost at the point of kidnap because he wasn't letting her see you. It was messy…There was going to be a trial and for some reason things just didn't look as clear cut as they should've been. Andrew had to give you up for a while."

"I found the papers…custody papers…they weren't final or anything," Spinelli breathed, realizing he was officially connecting to the story, having evidence of its validity back in Maxie's car. This was when his road in the future met his father's road from the past, crossing and intersecting.

Riley shook his head. "They wouldn't be…there was no hearing."

"Why?" Maxie blurted, obviously on edge too.

Spinelli was sure that the brightness of Riley's eyes this time was not from mirth or amusement of some sort of inside joke. He blinked rapidly, taking a deep breath.

"Andrew died before they could take it to court." Riley hesitated, brushing his eye with the back of his hand quickly.

………..

_Miriam gently sat Damian down on the edge of the hospital bed. Andrew could feel his small weight around his waist. Weakly, Andrew brought a hand to blindly feel for his son's body, brushing against the front of his little shoes. Andrew blinked, smiling at the contact of the familiar tennis shoes that he had not seen in over a month. He choked back the sensation to cough as he gently lifted his head, spotting the little boy's strange green eyes looking back at him. _

"_Hey…bird."_

"_Daddy?" Damian asked, chewing on his fingers. Andrew couldn't help but smile. A small part of him wondered if his son would remember him after being apart for so long. But no, his boy was bright, dressed in red tennis shoes and tan overalls, something his grandmother no doubt thought was cute. _

"_Yeah Damian?"_

_The little boy crawled forward on the bed, lying down next to him. "Da sick?"_

_Smart kid. Too smart. "Yeah buddy. Daddy's sick."_

"_Why?" The green eyes were questioning, big and round. Andrew wished he had the energy to rise up and hold him. Damian reached out and touched the rubber tubes that ran across his face, his oxygen tubes, tiny clammy hands resting on his cheeks. Andrew gently pulled the curious boy's hands away, settling him down on the bed. _

"_Because sometimes daddies get sick." Best to keep things simple._

_Damian didn't question that logic. "Okay." Riley, sitting in a chair beside the hospital bed, eyed them both wearily. He was so worried, Andrew could see it written on his face. They made eye contact and Andrew smiled reassuringly. Arranging Damian to visit him was no doubt Riley's idea. Glancing back down at his side, Damian was curled up next to him, watching his dad with a strict gaze. Andrew pushed some hair out of his son's eyes._

"_I missed you."_

"_You!" Damian replied, his conversational skills limited to odd sentences or repeated phrases._

"_Me."_

"_Me," Damian poked Andrew in the chest. Miriam shuffled her feet a little. He glanced at her and saw that she was choking up a little. She was probably on his side, though supported Sarah if she needed help no doubt. Andrew looked back at Damian, realizing that he might not see him for a while and that he should take advantage of this stolen visit. _

"_I love you very much, Damian."_

"_Youyouyouyou," Damian repeated, rolling around a little on the bed. _

_Andrew coughed, setting his chest on fire. "You you you you you."_

"_Dami play getarr?" He asked, hopeful._

"_You want to play my guitar? I don't have my guitar, Damian."_

"_Sing song."_

_Andrew didn't know how to explain that this wasn't exactly playtime. "I'm…I'm too sleepy Damian."_

"_Why?"_

"_Cuz I just am." _

"_Ohhhhhh…" Damian replied, Andrew's explanation making perfect sense to him. _

_Andrew closed his eyes for a moment. His chest felt so heavy. Wheezing air inched down to his lungs with each breath, a tight constriction in his throat itching. He lay there, unmoving. Damian tugged on his hands a little but seemed to do this only to have something to do. A soft clicking noise traveled closer and closer, like high heels on tile. That must have been what they were, because when Andrew opened his eyes blearily Sarah and her vibrant red hair were looming over him. Her face was pale, cheeks wet from tears. _

"_Andy…" She leaned over him gently, brushing his hair out of his face. God, he loved her so much. _

"_Sarah?" _

"_Yeah Andy, It's me baby. Oh my god you don't look good."_

"_I'm…really sick, Sarah."_

"_But you're going to be okay, right?"_

_Andrew was silent, the wheezing in his chest distracting him from a proper response. What did she want him to tell her? Sarah cleared her throat._

"_You aren't going to die. People don't die from pneumonia anymore."_

_Damian rolled over. Andrew felt him standing up on the bed, clinging to his mother. _

"_What's die momma?"_

"_Shhh…" Sarah shushed him, focusing on Andrew. She grasped his hand. Why did they do this to each other? Andrew watched Damian trying to get his mother's attention, tugging on her sleeves. _

"_Momma!"_

_Andrew tried to reach out to him and soothe him, but his arms were too weak."Hey, bird, it's okay."_

_Sarah interrupted, shaking her head furiously."You're not dying. You can't die."_

_Riley, who had been silent up until this point, stood up quickly, his chair flying back a few inches. _

"_You know what Sarah, if it wasn't for you bringing on all this stress Andrew would be fine! He got all absorbed in your damn custody thing and he stopped taking care of himself and look what happened!"_

"_Riley stop it," Andrew coughed. "Don't fight in front of Damian."_

_Sarah stood up quickly from her place at his side, defensive. Damian sputtered a little at all the sudden action. He looked around confused. Andrew wished that he could reach him, to comfort him. _

"_It's true, Andrew. She took your kid, and--"_

"_Fine, everyone gang up on me!"_

_Miriam chimed in. "Daughter, we aren't ganging up on you. This is just a very tense situation for all involve--"_

"_Stop it, Momma. I didn't say you could bring Damian here. You obviously are in on this too!"_

"_Hey, Sarah, I called your mother because I thought Damian should see his father in case the worst happens!" Riley screamed this, his hair flying in his eyes. Sarah glowed red. The toddler sputtered even more, this time choking a little on tears that he did not bellow out. _

"_Shut up, Riley. You're being overdramatic!" Sarah retorted harshly. He couldn't take this ridiculous fighting anymore. A bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. Breath hitched in his chest once, twice, and then finally he could speak._

"_Rile…" he croaked. Riley jumped out of his anger and darted over to his side, looming over him with fear in his eyes._

"_Andrew, what?"_

"_You're upsetting my bird."_

_Damian crawled forward, snuggling onto his chest. He pressed a finger to his own lips, very serious. _

"_Shhh…Da sick."_

_Everyone froze. The small weight was chest was making it a little harder to breath, but Andrew didn't really care if he moved. Riley sighed heavily, burying his face in his hands. _

_Andrew couldn't figure out how to make this better, to make his brother stop worrying. Sarah pulled Damian away, this time looking very grey in the face. _

"_Say bye bye to Daddy, Damian."_

"_Come on, Sarah…" Riley grumbled. "Let him stay around a little while longer."_

_Andrew suddenly felt a wave of emotion run over him. Maybe it was his tiredness, or the medication, or simply being away from his son for so long. But he suddenly felt very mortal and weak, breakable. So very…very…tired. He blinked, his eyes rolling behind his lids for a moment as his breath hitched again. _

"_Hey bird," Andrew shook a little, holding back tears while trying to breathe properly at the same time. He blindly felt for little tennis shoe, squeezing his son's foot a little when he found it. A strange sort of embrace? _

"_I'm sorry that I didn't get to sing to you today, buddy. You know that I love you."_

_He opened his eyes, looking up into Sarah's eyes once again. Her green eyes were what always haunted him. They mesmerized him. After everything, he loved her so damn much. She leaned in a little, whispering. _

"_When…when you're better…we should talk."_

"_I would like that Sarah," he agreed, wheezing. A strand of her long red hair tickled his cheek as she leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. "I miss you."_

"_I love you, Andy." She meant it, he could tell. If only she could change for that love. "I'll be back tomorrow night, okay?"_

_He nodded, watching her as she slowly backed out of the room. He couldn't follow her all the way out the door with his eyes, and he felt them becoming heavier anyways. She'd come back to visit him tomorrow. _

………

Riley was quiet for several moments after explaining about Spinelli's father's last day. Maxie sniffled. A bitter, salty taste flitted across his tongue. One tear had fallen without him even realizing it was there. Spinelli couldn't move, feeling so heavy.

Quietly, Riley broke his silence, speaking barely above a whisper. "I don't know where your mom is…I'm sorry. Last I heard she was living in Florida…but that was probably ten years ago."

"That's okay…" Spinelli accepted his answer easily. Half of the story was good enough, right?

Riley seemed to be thinking about something. "He called you bird…all the time…Sarah hated it."

"Bird?" He questioned, his voice quivering.

"Andrew said you were always talking…rambling…humming…like a bird…chirping."

Maxie muttered to him, "Bird…like your little stuffed frog."

So there it was. The truth. He had never, ever been alone. Somehow, his father had always been around, hadn't he? A child's recollection was weak and fleeting, but a memory had been imprinted in a simple toy, a mystery to be explained so much later, but a comfort in its own way.

So there it was. The truth.

…….

They drove back to Spinelli's grandmother's house in silence. Maxie didn't really know what to say to him. Dull road noise buzzed louder than their thoughts, something Maxie was grateful for, because she didn't know if she could concentrate on driving if she put too much thought into what had just transpired. Spinelli was gripping the cassette tape that Riley had give him in his hand, tapping it gently on his knee as he gazed out the window.

Maxie cleared her thought, ready to ask a question, but then swallowed back her thoughts in the same moment. Spinelli wasn't ready to talk. Absentmindedly, Maxie reached for the radio. She found a random station, turning the volume down low. The music could barely be heard over the road noise.

For the first time all evening, the baby moved. Maxie sat a hand over the place she felt him quiver, thanking him for his cooperation during their evening's discovery. Suddenly, 

Spinelli was putting the cassette tape into the car stereo, shaking hands making the tape click against the front buttons before making its way into the slot to play. Maxie held her breath as Spinelli turned up the volume.

A guitar, some drums, a bass, a piano. A voice. Gentle, sweet, strong. A soft, jerking sob. Maxie kept driving, leaving Spinelli to his grief.

…...

In the darkness of night, a gentle touch ran down her arm. She knew he couldn't have been asleep, after a day like today, and Maxie had been waiting for him to give up the act of feigning sleep. He would need her tonight. But, she couldn't force him to talk. Patience was key. At his signal, she sighed, not realizing how much tension was trapped in her lungs waiting for him to speak up.

"Maxie?" Spinelli murmured, drawing his body nearer to her. She felt her own name rush past the skin on the back of her neck with a breath when he called it softly. Maxie rolled over to meet him eye to eye, moon glow hitting only ever other curve to his face. Even in the dark she could feel his sad eyes on her. Fingertips gently brushed the messy hair out of his eyes, silently letting him know the she was listening now. He claimed her wrist, pressing a kiss onto her palm before lowering it gently back down by her side.

"What is it, Spinelli?" As if she didn't know.

Hesitating for a moment, Spinelli simply looked at her. Absentmindedly he rubbed her stomach, tracing a line back and forth over the hill slowly. Then, he finally broke the pause that held him back and pulled her close to him, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, the space between them no longer there. Maxie felt his heart beating steadily against her chest.

"Make me a promise, I beg you," he whispered by her ear.

"Anything," Maxie replied instantly.

"…We…We kind of did everything backwards."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…I fell in love with you long after we…you know…made the baby. We weren't even friends at that time. Being your friend came naturally after we were kind of forced to try…"

"I think of you as my best friend…you know that…"

Spinelli shook his head a little. "I know. The…dating…whatever we're calling _this," _he emphasized the word by gently kissing the nape of her neck. "This is new. I love you so much--"

"I love you too!"

A small laugh from him tickled her ear. "I know…that is my point though…Right now, all is well. It's fresh, and uncomplicated."

"A baby isn't uncomplicated."

"No, a baby isn't uncomplicated. That's what I need you to promise me."

"What?"

"That...if one day we just…I don't know…aren't in love…if something changes…We'll never, ever let it touch Caleb. We have to do right by him."

Maxie considered the weight of his words. He was right. They were "dating" officially for less than two months. More developed and longer lasting relationships had crumpled overnight, what could stop that from happening to them? A baby didn't change them into a force upon the world that couldn't ever be tainted by jealousy, betrayal, lust, or boredom. He was asking her to be able to keep their son out of it should they ever break up. A pre-nuptial agreement in a dating world?

"Spinelli…He's your son. He's my son. We were going to raise him as friends above all else. That hasn't changed. It won't."

Spinelli pulled away from her for a moment, looking down into her face. "I can't imagine my life without you. Is that strange?"

Maxie bit her lip. "No. It's not strange. I…I know _exactly_ how you feel."

He laughed this time. "We are exasperatingly bizarre, are we not?"

She kissed him for an answer. Bizarre, weird, abnormal, special. A few moments later, Spinelli curled back next to her, the tension gone.

"Maxie," he spoke up after a few moments of quiet.

"Yes, Spinelli?"

"…Do you think your mom knows you're pregnant?"

Maxie sighed. "I think Mac told her. I would assume he told her actually."

Spinelli hesitated. "Write your mom a letter."

"What?"

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Write her a letter. Tell her yourself. You don't have to speak to her in person…a letter can convey every thought you've had about her and you don't even have to see her when she reads it…"

"Why?"

"Closure."

Maxie contemplated his words, knowing what he really meant. He wanted her to find what he had found—peace. If he was brave enough to try, shouldn't she?

"We'll see, Spin."

"Goodnight, Maxie."

……………**.**

**A/N: And huzzah that plot line is complete. I'm so glad too, btw. This has been the hardest plot point I've written so far. I think I'm ready to get back to business. Now we're on the crazy roller coast that leads up the Caleb's birth. Oh the drama. **

**I would just like to thank all of those that voted this story "Best Fan Fic" on the Opposite Attraction board. I think all Spinelli and Maxie fans should join that forum. It's great. Crazy bunch of folks, very enthusiastic about campaigning. By the way, this is a great time to join the campaign. We're working wonders. If you would like information, just leave a review or PM me. **

**Next Chapter: back in Port Charles.**


	30. Dwelling

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 30: Dwelling**

**"It does not do to dwell on dreams and to forget to live." --Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone**

"No."

"Maxie…it's adorable."

"No."

"Maxie JONES you are trying on these pants."

"NO!"

"WHY?"

"Do you SEE the elastic waistband? NO."

"Maxie! You are 6 months pregnant, these are the only pants that will fit you!"

"ROBIN SCORPIO I am NOT wearing pants with an elastic waistband!"

It was as if the cousins were in an old west standoff, guns drawn, dust flying in the air…If only a tumbleweed flitted by it would be perfect. In reality, the ladies were simply shopping for new clothing for their vastly expanding pregnant selves, and Maxie refused to buy anything that actually looked like maternity wear. Robin wasn't please by her cousins resistance but Maxie was too moody and too hungry to care at that moment. No elastic waistbands, end of discussion.

"I wear them. Do I look bad?" Robin asked, holding out her arms. Maxie hesitated for a second too long and Robin looked offended. "Look, Maxie…you can look cute after your baby is born….And what is wrong with the way I look?"

Maxie sighed. "You look fine. I'm sorry, I'm just being moody. And…I'll try on the pants." She headed for the dressing room, Robin following behind her with her own bundle of clothing. Tripping a little over her feet, Maxie flopped down on the tiny chair inside the dressing room and sighed heavily. She'd been more and more tired these days…After all the chaos with Spinelli's shooting and subsequent depression had subsided, Maxie had thought things could at least try to go back to normal.

Robin called out from the dressing room beside her. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah Robin…just tired…It's been an exhausting few months."

"Spinelli is doing better, right?"

"Yeah. He was having some issues for a while…he's a lot better though."

Robin shuffled around. "Such a sweet guy, he is. You visited his grandmother?"

Maxie leaned into the mirror beside her, adjusting her makeup a little. "Yeah. His uncle too."

"Oh really. That's nice."

Maxie smiled a little in the mirror. "Yeah. I think he needed that." She didn't elaborate about the experience much. Spinelli had been relatively quiet about the subject since their return, but she could tell how much it meant to him to finally know about his past.

"Liz is throwing me a baby shower in two weeks. You're invited." Robin spoke through the wall. Maxie instantly felt a pang of jealousy. No one would be throwing her a baby shower any time soon. She didn't exactly have any friends. Maybe Robin would throw her one…Georgie would've been the one in charge of hers if she was alive. If she was alive, there wouldn't be a baby on the way at all.

"That's great. I'll be there," Maxie replied, pulling her blouse over her head. She glanced at her stomach in the mirror, shocked as always at the large roundness there. A

"Yeah, It's going to be fun I think…Liz, Kelly, and Lainey are all conspiring about something, I know it. I stumbled into a conversation the other day and they all clammed up. I must have caught them talking about some surprise…They looked guilty."

Maxie shimmied into the pair of pants that she had fought Robin over just a few minutes before. It sucked how nice they felt. She had been trying really hard to deny the possibility that comfort might be more important than style at that particular month in her pregnancy but it seemed she was wrong. The jeans didn't look horrible anyways. The green tank top and pale white button down shirt looked really nice with the pants too.

"How is the baby?"

She gently felt the material covering her stomach. "He's fine. What about you? Everything going good?"

Robin grumbled a little. Maxie perked up. "What?"

"Oh…nothing."

Maxie poked her head out of her dressing room and knocked on Robin's door. "Hey now. You can't just mumble about how your baby is doing. Let me in!"

"HOLD ON! Let me get my pants back on."

Glaring at the dressing room door, Maxie tapped her foot impatiently. If there was something wrong with Robin's baby she should know. It was terrifying enough to worry about her own health, but Robin had unique challenges of her own that kept the cousin anxious. Plus, Maxie 

had been looking to Robin for cues on the whole pregnancy thing…If there was something to be afraid of, Maxie wanted to know. Robin peaked the door to her dressing room open a little.

"Yes?"

"Don't play dumb Doctor. What is wrong?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "Nothing. I have some blood pressure issues…I have to take it easy."

Maxie's heart sank. She had been relying on Robin to have a healthy, natural pregnancy with as few worries as possible. It helped her own self doubt. Robin must have sensed that she was upset even though she tried to keep her face intact and free from obvious worry.

"Look, Maxie, I'm fine. Lots of pregnant women have issues like this. I'm not the first. You worry about your own baby, okay sweetheart?"

She nodded, heading back to her own dressing room. Robin caught her arm. "What's wrong, Maxie? You seem down."

Shaking her head, Maxie denied her worries with a quick shake of her head. "Nothing, nothing, just hungry! Let's go to the food court after this, okay?" Smiling, Maxie hustled back into the dressing room so that her cousin couldn't try to decipher her mood any further. It was a pretty good question actually. Why did she feel so moody? Spinelli was better, the baby was fine, things could get back to normal (as they ever were) but Maxie still couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

A slight gasp from the other dressing room drug her out of her thoughts for a moment. Maxie put her chipper voice again. "What is it, Robin, find a really cute dress?"

Robin was now the one banging down her dressing room door. Maxie quickly let her in. "What?"

"I just got a text message from Uncle Mac. They have a lead on the Text Message Killer."

Her borrowed heart did flip flops. After months of silence from the murderer, Maxie had almost allowed herself to pretend he wasn't still out there. Her hand instantly flitted over her stomach protectively. Robin's face was white as a sheet. In a moment, Maxie was tugging at the blouse she was trying on, ready to make a break for the nearest exit so they could get down to the station. Robin followed suit, heading back to her own dressing room as the two bustled to get back in their own clothes.

It was a blur as they drove to the station, a mixture of thoughts a fears dragging their weight through her mind. Someone else had died. That's the only reason there would be a new lead after all this time quiet. Maxie pushed tears out of her eyes as the brick structure of the PCPD came into focus.

Once inside, Mac spotted them both and hurried over. They must have been a strange sight to see, two random pregnant women in a police station.

"What do you know?" Maxie begged.

Mac sighed quickly. "It's something we really didn't expect…I didn't mean for the two of you to come all the way down here… we don't really have answers."

Robin cut in. "Then what? What is the lead?"

Mac ushered them out of the way and led them over to a desk. "It seems…the Text Message Killer is actually in a new town now."

"WHAT?" Maxie cried. The baby kicked at the same time, shocking her even more. He'd moved on. The bastard wasn't even in town anymore?

Mac nodded solemnly. "Two dead in a town four hours from here…the theory now is that the deaths might have been completely random…the heat was getting to him here so he's moved on."

Maxie reached for something to grab onto to stop her from tumbling down. That wasn't fair. Someone couldn't have just come into her life and taken her sister away and just left…Mac caught her sobbing body as it was making its way to the ground.

"Robin…call Spinelli…He might need to be here…."

………….

"Shhhh….Maxie…"

Spinelli ran his fingers through her hair soothingly has she sobbed into his chest.He had taken her back to her home, tucked her into bed, and now was lying quietly beside her. The blue t-shirt he was wearing was being clawed apart by her tight death grip on it. Maxie couldn't have him leave. No, he couldn't go anywhere, not today or ever. As she sobbed, pieces of her hair tangled in her mouth, making her a blubbering mess. It had been 7 months since her sister died, why couldn't it get any easier?

"It's n-not fair, Spinelli," Maxie sobbed. "He's going to get away with it…He probably didn't even know any of his victims, he's just killing to kill."

Spinelli kissed her temple. "My most beautiful, sweet blonde one…you have to take a minute to breathe…"

"I want her back," Maxie spat violently, shuddering. Spinelli made a choking noise, pulling her close to him. She was acting like a child, she knew it, throwing a fit like this.

"Maxie," Spinelli began, sounding serious. "This isn't your burden, you have to cope with the fact that we may never know the rhyme or reason for the atrocity that was Georgie's…death…We have to go on living…"

Maxie nodded, sucking in cool air as he rocked her. "I was almost able to forget…for a little while…I didn't think about her being dead all time…I feel horrible, Spinelli…I don't want to forget her."

That was it. That was the confession of the day. Things were starting to…be normal. Quiet, soothing calm. But how could that be? Why should things ever be kind, sweet, gentle, and silly if Georgie was dead and buried in a plot off in the middle of town. Maxie had to admit that her life was…blessed? Was that the term? Her little world was stressful but not unbearable, her baby was healthy, her love was new.

That morning as she had been making some pancakes, plans to meet up with Robin for a little mall shopping on her mind, excitement at the thought of buying a cute outfit or two, Maxie had realized that she hadn't thought about Georgie at all the day before. How could she have gone an entire day without her sister even crossing her mind? Guilt had been welling up in her all day, and now was made even worse by the reminder that the twisted son of a bitch who had killed her was still out there but now far away and causing chaos in another city, as if he could just as easily forget the town of Port Charles and all of his havoc as simply as she had forgotten Georgie the day before.

Spinelli sighed. "My Maxie…Georgie doesn't need you to dwell on her for the rest of your life…"

Maxie was sure his shirt was probably soaked through now. Spinelli reached for a blanket and pulled it over her. He was right…she knew he was right…

"Shhh….Maxie..go to sleep."

………

A soft warmth grazed her cheeks when she awoke the next morning, sunshine falling sweetly in her bedroom. Cinnamon drifted by her nose. Maxie reached across the bed for Spinelli but found his side of her bed cold. The cinnamon smell grew stronger, lacing its way all around her room. Maxie slid out from under the covers, still dressed in her clothes from the day before, and wandered downstairs. Spinelli was flitting around in the kitchen. She snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, breathing in the smell of his shirt.

"Thank you for staying with me."

Spinelli turned around slowly, wrapping his arms around her. "Sassy Maxie knows I am always here for her…after all I have gone through."

"What are you making?"

"Cinnamon toast."

"Mmm…" Maxie's mouth watered a little, her stomach finally realizing it was awake and hungry.

"The Jackal has decided to play the role of male provider and bring home the feast…in this case cinnamon toast."

It was silently decided that they were done with the subject of yesterday, for now. Maxie wandered over to the fridge to grab herself some orange juice.

"I have to get Robin a present for her baby shower…want to go looking with me later?"

Spinelli stopped what he was doing. "Wait…what about you? Don't you get a baby shower?"

Maxie poured the orange juice silently into a cup. Spinelli walked over to her. "Seriously, Maxie, who is going to give you a baby shower?"

Maxie shrugged. "It's no big deal, Spinelli…gotta have friends to have a baby shower."

His face had an odd expression on it. "That's not fair. Can I throw you a baby shower?"

She laughed so hard she almost spilled her cup of orange juice. "Um. No. You can't. It doesn't' work that way. Hey, maybe Robin will surprise me with one. It doesn't matter..really, it doesn't."

Spinelli frowned but could tell that she didn't want to talk about it. Maxie bustled by him and wandered into the office by the kitchen.

"Just a minute, Spinelli, I need to do something."

"Okay…I'll take the toast into the dining room, okay?"

Maxie nodded to him. Sauntering off into the office, Maxie found an envelope tucked away in a drawer. She wasn't sure if she was going to mail it or not…but…after yesterday…It seemed right. Spinelli had been right…it wasn't good to dwell on the pain in the past forever.

Carrying the letter out to the mailbox, Maxie quickly checked to make sure that her mother's address was right before slipping it into the box and heading back inside for breakfast with Spinelli.

……

**A/N: Sorry, this took forever. I went on vacation to California (I went to FCW and met Bradford Anderson!! EEE! They interviewed me for Camera Ready, so if you watch the next episode look out for me! Hehehee! He is a sweetheart!) Anyways, life has been nutso crazy but I really wanted to get this chapter out to you guys so you don't lose faith. I'm still writing, I promise. **

**And HEY Spixie had sex! Woot! **

**This chapter was completely unplanned…I just started writing and this is what I came up with….I am curious as to what you think about it. If you want to see something in the story, leave a review, I down for suggestions and ideas. **

**BTW: I decided I am not going to warn you for when the Spixie baby is born...going to keep you on your toes...**

**Keep writing, calling, and emailing for Spixie! **

**Next Chapter: Perhaps the baby shower for Robin? Dunno.**


	31. The Necessary Story

**The Luckiest **

**Chapter 31: The Necessary Story**

Knocking on the front door to Carly's house, Spinelli tried to find some composure. He'd been putting off doing this for a while, not ever feeling quite ready to fully take on the responsibility. For some reason though, today felt right. It was time to stop putting off his inevitable adulthood. The "father" thing was only growing closer with each passing breath, not a lot of wiggle room in that area to waste time.

Why was he so terrified to talk to a child though?

Carly answered the door, a little taken aback to see him. She rested her head on the doorframe, smiling a little. It seemed she knew what he was there for too.

"Hi Spinelli."

"Hello Valkyrie…um…Michael around?"

"Yeah. He's upstairs. Come in." She held the door open wide for him and he stepped in sheepishly. A cold sweat formed the back of his neck. There must have been a ghost in the room, making him smell gunpowder. This was the room he'd nearly given up in. The first thing he noticed was it was styled differently. A nice shade of blue on the walls, cream colored carpet. No red.

"The place looks nice…" Spinelli muttered awkwardly, taking his eyes off the spot he would've died. He didn't ask why they had to redecorate…preferred to think it was a spontaneous burst of creativity on Carly's part. It wasn't…but…

Carly shuffled on the spot. "Sit down, Spinelli…I'll get Michael…He's been asking about you for a while…Morgan too." She smiled a little, backing up for the staircase.

Settling down on the couch, Spinelli tried to think of what he really wanted to say. He wasn't going to reprimand Michael and tell him guns were bad…he also couldn't say something stupid that made it seem as though it was no big deal. This might be the very first adult task of his entire life though…If it was Caleb, his own son, in this situation, what would he have said?

Small footsteps creaked on the stairs. Spinelli turned around and watched as the young redhead made his way down. His cheeks were flushed red already. Spinelli let out a large breath, suddenly feeling very stupid. It was the Little Dude. Just kid, not some big bad.

"Hi Michael," he said very quietly.

Looking at the ground, it was a moment before he replied. "Hello, Mr. Spinelli."

He didn't really like being thought of as a mister quite yet, but he wouldn't press such a silly thing at that moment. Spinelli pat the spot on the couch next to him lightly, hoping to take some edge out of the atmosphere. Michael slowly made his way over, holding his breath obviously.

The time passed very slowly, neither of them really knowing what to say. Spinelli was the adult, of course, he should have started…he should've practiced what he would say, written it down and memorized it all out or something.

"I'm so so sorry, Mr. Spinelli," Michael choked out. In his moments thinking about what he would say, Michael had already begun to breakdown. Suddenly, it became all very clear. The pain just needed to end, for everyone. His own scars were fading, mental and physical, time for Michael's adolescent confusion to end as well. Spinelli sat a hand comfortingly on Michael's back.

"Hey, dude, listen…Michael…I forgive you." What a relief.

The child looked up at him and blinked blearily. "It was an accident. I…I was trying to be tough…you know…like my dad…like Jason…"

Spinelli nodded. "I know. And you don't need to tell me how much worse things could've been…"

Nodding, Michael agreed. "I know. I'm so sorry. I was so s-s-stupid."

"Michael…I think I know better than most what it's like to see Jason and your dad and think 'wow…these are some extremely tough guys, and wouldn't it be cool to be just like them?'"

Spinelli tried to put his explanation into simple terms so that Michael would understand. It was true though, he and Michael both practically worshiped their respective father figures. He truly did understand.

Michael looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah…I mean…well…I think you know what I mean."

He nodded.

"They're human, Mikey…mistake-making humans…just like the rest of us…You shouldn't ever try to make yourself fit their mold." He was giving some proper advice…perhaps he should listen to himself more often.

"I'm still sorry."

"I know you are."

"How can I...how can I make it better?"

Spinelli eyed the child for a moment. Then, he extended his hand out to Michael. "Make me a promise."

"Okay."

"Stay away from the firearms."

Michael blinked a little and took his hand. "Yeah. Okay. Yeah."

Spinelli wasn't quite sure, but he felt it was important to add, "And be your own man." That felt right. Some sort of fatherly advice, something he'd wished his own father had said to him, something everyone needed to hear at one point. He hoped it would sink in.

The two shook hands on the vow. Spinelli grinned a little, noticing how much Michael had grown in such a short amount of time. His hair was getting long, too. Spinelli tugged on a strand.

"You'd better get a haircut soon, kid, or you'll end up looking like me. And let me tell you, these tresses are high maintenance."

He stood, heading for the door. Michael hissed a small laugh, wiping his eyes. On his way out, he spotted Carly listening in on them from the top of the stairs. She mouthed "thank you" and he nodded. Almost out of the door, Spinelli made sure to say goodbye.

"See you later, Mikey."

"Hey, wait!"

Spinelli stopped. "Yeah?"

Michael stood up quickly and headed for the closet. He rustled around a little in the shelves before pulling out a book. The cover was decorated with images of an African landscape. Michael brushed some dust off the cover before handing it over to Spinelli.

"My mom said Jason read me lots of books about Africa when I was a baby…and well, I know you're girlfriend is having a baby…"

Spinelli smiled down at the book. "Thank you."

Michael shrugged a little. "No big deal."

Spinelli clapped Michael on the shoulder, pulling the door behind him.

As he was getting into his car, Spinelli's phone went off. He hustled to answer it, suspecting it might have been Maxie. It was. He pressed the little green phone button and took her call as he backed out of the Jacks family driveway.

"The Jackal taxi service, we're on the road when you need us!" Spinelli answered cheerily.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THE MORNING I'VE HAD!" Her screeching voice bellowed into the phone. Spinelli pulled the cell phone away from his head momentarily and tried to shake the shock out of his system of Maxie's clear excitement radiating through his eardrums.

"Good afternoon to you as well, Maxie love."

"SPINELLI!" Maxie yelled again. "Robin had her baby!"

Spinelli's eyebrows furrowed as he counted back the date. "Wait…no…she's too early!"

"Just too weeks really…nothing extremely early…Oh, we were worried there for a second, thinking something was really wrong with her, but I guess the baby just wanted out! Oh, Spinelli, she's so precious, you wouldn't believe how pretty she is, Patrick's eyes and Robin's nose and if Caleb looks anywhere near as cute we're going to be beating old women off so they don't squeeze his cheeks. Today was the first time I thought that maybe the stretch marks might be worth it…"

Maxie continued to ramble. Spinelli had to pull his car over because he was laughing so hard, he thought he would drive off the road.

"So, does this make me a second or third cousin? Or a fourth? I know I'm not an aunt."

Spinelli chuckled into the steering wheel, belly laughs doubling him over.

"Stop laughing! I'm serious!"

"The Jackal knows you are serious, and that is what is most frightening!"

"Hey now, you know I'm a dim light bulb, accept it!"

"You're not a light bulb…your just Maxie Jones…" Spinelli shook his head, closing his eyes.

The road noise whirring by his car wasn't enough to distract him from every syllable she spoke. That must have been what love was…no distractions, only her.

...

"Stop it!"

"Nooo…"

"It's my pillow!"

"Prove it!"

"It has a little M monogram on it, Spinelli."

"Yes, M for MINE."

"Spinelli!"

"Why is your pillow in my bed anyways?" He whined playfully, handing over the pillow but snuggling into her neck. Her shampoo scent lingered still and he felt a little intoxicated for a minute. Morning was becoming his favorite part of the day, waking up with Maxie. He didn't quite know if it was ever going to be possible for him to be close enough to her.

"Why are we doing this…" He mumbled quietly. Maxie stiffened in his arms. Gently pulling away from her, Spinelli gazed down into her quizzical sky.

"Doing what?"

Spinelli sighed, rolling his eyes. "Nothing."

Maxie pushed his face a little, forcing him to keep the eye contact. "Not nothing."

"The Jackal doesn't--"

"No. No Jackal. What is on Spinelli's mind?"

He couldn't quite see how he was going to get out of this slipup. Or…maybe he had wanted to slipup…maybe he'd said that out loud on purpose. Fingernails on his arms, her tight grip, made it clear to him that he wasn't going anywhere without explaining himself. A ball of anxiety formed in his stomach.

"Spinelli, spit it out," The Bad Blonde One flashed her eyes. Oops.

"I didn't mean to challenge the Sassiest of Maxie's blonde wrath…"

"Then Damian Millhouse Spinelli better explain himself before I get the wrong idea."

He gulped loudly. "…The Jack--….errmm…I was just….pondering aloud…our…living situation…"

This time Maxie's face took on the shape of complete confusion. "Living situation?"

Nodding fervently, Spinelli tried to explain himself. "I just mean you and I are doing this bed hopping thing every evening and it just seems kind of juvenile, like were teenagers or something, when in fact we are two very capable adults in a stable relationship and a child on the way and I was just thinking that it seems very strange to keep up this sort of weird thing when the due date of the baby is getting so close because, I mean, really are we going to keep going back and forth from your place to mine exchanging the baby each night, trading off parental duties, like we're not together, when we really are, and it just seems a little redundant--"

"HOLY CRAP, Spinelli, calm down! I have no idea what you are saying!"

Spinelli sat up very quickly, trying to focus. Now that the cat was out of the bag, he at least had to explain why he had a cat in a bag in the first place. Maxie followed suit, sitting up rather awkwardly, adjusting her camisole.

"…Doesn't the lovely, brilliant, and wondrous Sassy Maxie…think…maybe…we should …live together?" He bit his tongue, wishing he could take the words back…He wasn't ready for her rejection of him quite so early this morning. Maxie had made it pretty clear that she didn't want to marry him, not so soon, why would moving in together be any different? However, Maxie's eyes didn't glare back at him for making such a suggestion. Actually, her entire face held a dazzling smile.

"You mean…us move in together…like…in a house or something?"

"Like a house. Or something," he nodded in agreement, teeth chattering slightly.

"I love it!" Maxie squealed in delight, sweeping him up in her arms, the tight round hill of her stomach pressing into him, their closeness almost enough to last him a lifetime. He, Damian Spinelli, had done something right. He hadn't screwed it up—Loving Maxie, wanting to be with her, wanting to be with her always…he hadn't screwed it up! All the anxiety rushed out him in a long breath, relief that she hadn't found him foolish or his request unrealistic. She hadn't even hesitated! Move in, together, Maxie Jones and Damian Spinelli? It hadn't even give her a moment's pause.

Maxie pulled away from him quickly. "But wait, I don't have a house or something! And neither do you!"

Spinelli grinned wildly, "So what! We get one!"

"Or an apartment…or a penthouse!" Maxie tackled him, pushing him back onto the bed with a forceful kiss. He allowed his hands to travel down her as they eagerly engaged in one of the more passionate kisses they'd ever had. He didn't really want to stop it there, but he pulled away from her anyways.

Maxie rambled excitedly. "Why didn't you suggest this months ago? This is a brilliant idea. So much better than us trying to manage keeping separate lives and households while raising a baby…Oooh, and we can decorate the place and have it how we want, I've been needing to move out of Mac's place for a while now…and the baby could have his own room--"

Spinelli pushed some of her golden hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "And you know…us…we could..we could…umm…be a real f-family. The three of us." He didn't know why he stuttered. The idea though, of him and her and their son…a real family…his strange little family…It was overwhelming. Maxie froze, biting her lip a little, a strange smile forming on her lips. She readjusted herself on the bed, lying beside him now. Softly, Maxie tugged his hand away from his chest and placed it on her stomach.

"Sounds nice…" Maxie murmured, watching him.

Tracing his finger across the hill, Spinelli marveled quietly how much had changed for him. "We don't have a lot of time…"

"Oh well. We'll try out best to get a place before he's here…"

"I'm glad we still have…what…5 weeks?"

"Mmmhmm…well...5 and a half…," Maxie tugged on his hair playfully.

"We are woefully underprepared."

"Yes."

"We probably should fix that."

"Probably."

"Wanna go shopping for wee stuff?"

"Yes please!" Maxie bustled up out of bed, probably waiting on him to make the suggestion for a while. "Oooo! Can we go see little baby Scorpio-Drake too?" Maxie's face lit up.

"Sounds like a plan."

Maxie started pulling at her camisole, scrambling to find her clothes. "And we can get brochures to that apartment complex down by the water."

"Okay, eager beaver."

Life was…remarkable.

………

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing…Let me just say now that I appreciate it a lot. This story was actually changed because of ONE review, they are that important to me. I reply to everyone who reviews and leaves contact info for me to get in touch with them, so if you have comments, questions, suggestions, or need spoilers (which I freely give) review and you should expect a PM response from me!**

**I jumped ahead in time a little bit…I hoped no one minds too much…I figure after 30 chapters Maxie should have this baby, shouldn't she? So I'm trying to get the story moving faster. Some fluff was cut that just wasn't necessary and some things were done in this chapter that I had planned for later…notice the chapter title is "the necessary story"…because I really want to get back into an inspired mood and the one thing I'm really jazzed about is the birth of Caleb (because you know me, I'm evil) and I really need something big to get me back into the vibe of writing this story. So far I just don't know if I'm back like I want to be. The birth is scheduled to happen soon, how soon I won't say. Bwahahaa.**

**Next Chapter: A surprise for Maxie.**


	32. In a White Sea of Eyes

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 32: In a White Sea of Eyes**

…_I'd see one pair that I'd recognize…and I'd __**know**__…_

The world had turned blue. Or, at least, one might think so upon entering Jason's penthouse. Blue streamers, blue balloons, small blue tea light candles all around the room. Maxie froze with her hand still on the doorknob, taking in the scent of mixed perfumes and colognes of the dozen or more guests that were standing around in mixed circles all around the living room. They all turned in a split second and focused on her. Maxie felt a blush creeping into her cheeks at the sudden attention. What the hell was going on? Sam, Robin, Lulu, Nadine, Mike…Maxie scanned some more, registering each face, completely confused. Patrick, holding his daughter, stood with Mac. Carly and Jason mumbling to one another close to the mantle…Was this some sort of secret book club? Did Lulu even know how to read?

Holy crap, Kate Howard was talking to Spinelli! What!!

"Hey…didn't mean to interrupt the secret meeting…" Maxie joked, shuffling on her feet. She smoothed down the front of her blouse and fidgeted with her jeans, hoping Kate didn't think she looked atrocious. Spinelli beamed at her. He looked nice. Maxie was pretty sure he was wearing a black button down shirt she had picked out for him. In fact, everyone looked nice. Like they were going to a party…For the first time, Maxie registered a pile of gifts on the coffee table. Who's birthday…

Oh.

Just as realization set in of what this actually was, Spinelli broke away from Kate and hurried over to her, sweeping her up in an embrace.

"Surprise," he muttered into her ear.

Maxie felt her eyes burning. "You…did this for me?" Trying to keep her composure, Maxie swallowed the tears back. Of course, a baby shower. She told him no one would give her one…no one liked her enough…And he just had to prove her wrong, because he loved being right. Jerk.

The people in the room called at once, welcoming Maxie and saying surprise.

"No, I didn't do this," Spinelli replied. "Sam and Lulu did this."

Maxie couldn't believe it. She couldn't exactly ask for an explanation right then and there, with everyone watching her, but Spinelli would have some explaining to do. There was no way in hell that Lulu Spencer had helped her in any way or form celebrate the birth of her son. Before she 

could really react, Sam and Robin were at her side, pulling her into an awkward three-way hug. Spinelli laughed and backed away, giving Maxie her moment. She felt the whole room watching her, and to focus, Maxie kept her gaze on him.

"Did you think you were going to go unnoticed? Geez Maxie, stop trying to hide the baby bump, we KNOW you're pregnant," Sam joked, rubbing Maxie's stomach. Robin grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the couch, Maxie following behind limply, still shocked that this many people had made an appearance on her behalf.

"I'm so surprised," Maxie said matter-of-factly. "Thanks everyone for coming…um...wow."

"Every girl deserves a baby shower…" Robin replied quietly. Maxie quickly wiped her eyes. People were milling around the room munching on little party sandwiches that looked delicious. They all chattered politely for a while, the odd bunch making small talk. What a strange group of people. They were either Maxie's family or Spinelli's friends. Everyone in their own way cared about the little baby inside of her. It was so…no words. None at all. Lulu watched Maxie quietly from her side of the room, sipping on some sort of red punch.

"Hey sweetheart," Mac settled down next to her on the couch, taking her in his arms. Maxie pulled him as close as she could, a tear leaking down her cheek she had been fighting off for a while. But, who's resolve wouldn't break in the arms of their father?

"Dad, how did you keep a secret from me?"

"Easy. You're not around that much these days to spill things to."

"Aww…We need to fix that," Maxie pulled away from him and kissed him on the cheek. It was true. The more time she spent with Spinelli and doing everything else in her life, Mac might have slipped through her priorities.

It was kind of fun, being the center of attention for a little bit. Maxie opened some of the baby gifts. Nadine's gift was a sweet little outfit for Caleb, little ducky pajamas. Sam got her a goody bag of all sorts of cool things that she hadn't even really thought of needing, like bibs and pacifiers, baby lotions and shampoos, all the essentials that sometimes forgot to find themselves on a shopping list. Carly (probably only there as a request from Jason to show support for Spinelli) got the baby a Moses basket.

Lots of clothes from Robin, which she appreciate greatly. Maxie and Spinelli weren't really all too prepared considering the fact that the baby would be there in a month. She ordered a crib off the internet (something Spinelli greatly approved of…internet shopping) but they hadn't put it together yet. In fact, she'd come over that afternoon to do just that.

Mike had been sweet. He gave them a stuffed bear with a gift card to a baby boutique. Maxie liked that, she could pick out stuff for her son on her own. It was Lulu's gift that had stunned her the most. A cream colored blanket with Caleb's name embroidered on it sent shivers down 

Maxie's back. Just a blanket, a nice one, but…seeing his name like that, like he was real…It was a very emotional moment for her.

Mac had gotten her more practical items, like a diaper bin. Maxie appreciated this a lot though, because it was a small way for him to say he was accepting his impending grandfather-hood.

When Kate Howard came and sat down next to her, Maxie froze but tried to look polished. This was her fashion hero. How Spinelli had convinced her to come to her shower, she had no idea.

"Hi Maxie, I know we don't know each other that well, but Spinelli is such a dear to me I just had to help him out," Kate smiled, opening her purse.

"Oh?" Maxie tried to play it cool. Kate brought out a small box and brandished it with flair.

"Spinelli wanted you to have something one of a kind, thought I could find something that a true fashionista (his word, I assure you) would approve of."

Kate handed her the box. Maxie pulled at the little blue ribbon, holding her breath as she tried to register the fact that Kate Freakin Howard was really sitting next to her, talking as if they were old chums. Gently opening the lid, Maxie gasped as she registered the shimmer of a strand of pearls set in a very modern fashion against a silver chain.

"Meko?" Maxie mumbled the designer's name, positive she'd guessed right.

Kate laughed. "Oh your're good. You're very good, considering these haven't debuted on the market yet."

"I love him. I love these…You just don't know how much I appreciate this…wow…this is incredible." Maxie took the necklace and put it on, feeling the soft pearls between her fingers. Kate grinned wickedly, obviously excited that she had got something right.

"Well, don't tell me, go tell Spinelli."

"SPINELLI!" Maxie bolted from her spot, looking around the room for him. He was nowhere to be found though. Going into the kitchen, she found him sneaking a drink from an orange soda with a huge grin of satisfaction on his face.

"The Jackal sees his gift found its home."

"You sneak!" Maxie assaulted him with a kiss, feeling his mirthful laughter rack through his body at her clear excitement. "You did all this for me, I know it! You can blame Sam and Lulu all you want but it was you!"

"I just suggested to some people that it would be nice…"

"How in the hell did Lulu get involved?"

"The Jackal asked his first Blonde One if she would help Fair Samantha and she agreed," Spinelli shrugged as if this was no big deal at all.

Maxie shook her head in shock. "No way it was that simple."

"That simple."

"Liar."

"Maxie, I actually do care about Spinelli," Lulu interrupted suddenly from behind her.

Maxie let go of Spinelli and spun on the spot, red flooding her cheeks at the realization she'd been caught. Lulu was smirking, content in her actions. Maybe it had all been about making Spinelli think Lulu was still a good person, maybe Spinelli had blackmail on Lulu (not entirely impossible)…Or maybe Lulu just cared about her friend's first born. Bah, humbug. Spinelli shuffled a little awkwardly and started moving towards the door. She knew exactly what he was doing the moment he started—he was going to give them "alone time". Jerk! Before she could protest, Spinelli was out the door and that left the two of them alone in the kitchen.

Maxie wondered where Jason kept his kitchen fire extinguisher. Nice, blunt object.

"You know, Maxie…" Lulu began, crossing her arms defensively. "Spinelli…he's…the most thoughtful person I have ever known."

Smiling, Maxie knew this to be a fact of nature. "He is. He's special."

Lulu continued. "He didn't think it was fair that you go without this sort of celebration for your baby. There is no one in their right mind that would not help him."

Maxie didn't really know what to say. "Thank you. It's been great. The blanket is beautiful."

Nodding, Lulu shrugged innocently. "I hope you're all happy."

"Thanks…"

"Like I said though, you break his heart, I'll break your face."

"I'll keep that in mind." Maxie chuckled genuinely.

This was insanity. Would it ever end? Did she want it to? Lulu gestured a small wave and backed out of the kitchen, returning to the party. Maxie fiddled with a pearl and thought quietly to herself about what a miracle really meant. She probably should get back to the party, after all it was for her. Dropping a hand on her stomach, Maxie rubbed the mountain affectionately.

"You're awful quiet today Caleb, considering it's your party," she smiled. It would be weird, not having him inside of her in a month. Quiet moments like these, gone. Oh well, she could talk to him for real then, right?

"Okay party boy, let's go back out there…some people got you some neat stuff."

……………

Spinelli blew out the last candle, watching the stream of smoke dance white for a moment. All he could hear in his mind was "success!" being chanted over and over by his inner self. He refrained from doing a victory dance. Maxie got a baby shower, nananananana! She should see that more people cared about her than she was willing to admit. And those that didn't? Who needed them?

Sure…the penthouse was now covered in blue streamers…but that was a simple tax if it meant Maxie's happiness. As everyone had left, Maxie was left looking over all of the various gifts from everyone. Jason was left sitting on the couch, in a sea of party streamers and balloons, watching some sort of baseball game on television. Spinelli resisted the urge to laugh at his surly mentor surrounded by a sea of celebratory accessories.

"Thanks for letting us do this here, Stone Cold," Spinelli flopped down next to his mentor. Jason shrugged, not looking away from the television.

"Nice party. It was a good thing for her." Jason spoke quietly.

"Yes it was!" Maxie chirped up, going through Robin's gift of clothes again. Jason smirked a little.

"One more in the top drawer of the desk." Jason said plainly. Spinelli raised both eyebrows confused. He slowly went to the desk by the front door, rummaging around in desk for what Jason was talking about. Eyes settled on something that looked like plane tickets or some sort of boarding pass. He hadn't realized it yet, but Maxie had crept up behind him, spying over his shoulder.

"Jason! No way!" she plucked the papers from Spinelli's confused hands. "Paris?"

"Paris?"

Maxie waved the papers in front of his face. "Tickets…to Paris. Like…France Paris."

Spinelli gaped. "Stone Cold, wow…You didn't have to do that for us…I mean….wow…."

Jason stood up from the couch and headed for the coat closet. "Not a problem, Spinelli. Those are good for whenever you want to use them…I just would like some peace and quiet in my penthouse for a little bit, whenever I can get it." Spinelli opened his mouth to apologize for the tenth time about taking over his penthouse and essentially moving his girlfriend in, but a small smirk formed on the corner of Jason's mouth, his eyes sparkling a little. Maxie squealed a little, 

extremely excited. Rolling his eyes a little, Jason grabbed for his leather jacket, pulling it around his shoulders as he spoke. Of course, Jason had waited until everyone was gone to give them the best gift of all –alone time.

Clapping Spinelli on the back, Jason backed out of the door. "I'm going to for a ride, I'll be back later."

And that was why Spinelli thought Jason was a badass. Because…he just…was.

…………

Maxie tugged on a balloon string, watching it bobble near the ceiling. It had been such a strange day. The sun was setting now, little orange glow filling the penthouse. She was exhausted. Spinelli cradled her in his arms as he watched some show about Egyptian tombs on the Discovery Channel.

"Thank you." Maxie muttered, yawning a little. She rubbed her stomach, feeling slightly queasy.

"Always," was his only reply. He reached for the baby blanket Lulu had given them that was draped over the back of the couch.

"That's really nice," Maxie admitted. Spinelli nodded, feeling the embroidery. He traced the letters of their son's soon to be name.

Suddenly, he grinned stupidly. "Does Sassy Maxie believe that Maxelli had a good time at his party too?" He used his old nickname for the baby, the affectionate tone bringing a ridiculous laugh to her.

"He's been very good today. No kicking me in the ribs or anything. That's nice," Maxie pet the bump.

She wished the sun would set already. It was really hot in the room. Once the sky blackened, perhaps it cool down a bit. Maxie fanned herself. Spinelli looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" He asked, suddenly turning her body in his embrace to examine her. Maxie gently swatted at him.

"Fine, Spinelli." Although, she had to admit, she really didn't feel great. Tired, very tired.

Spinelli didn't look satisfied. "You're kind of pale."

"You're kind of pale." Maxie retorted.

"I don't get out much. You on the other hand, look pale."

Maxie sighed. "I'm tired."

"Then go lay down sassy girl!" Spinelli insisted. Maxie didn't really feel like fighting with him at that moment, not after such a nice day. His worrying about her needed to cease though. She could do this without people constantly assuming she didn't know her own body.

"Fine," she agreed, pushing herself awkwardly off the couch. "I mean, the sun is barely down and I'm going to bed, but…whatever…better get sleep while I can, right?"

Spinelli frowned a little. "I'll finish cleaning up down here and come up, okay?"

"Okay. And we are going apartment hunting tomorrow!" Maxie ruffled his hair and headed for his bedroom, wishing she'd done a better job at quieting his worries.

…………

Spinelli started tugging some of the streamers down, tossing them into a trash bag. He spotted the little ducky pajamas Nadine had given them and smiled. Plucking it off the coffee table, Spinelli tried to imagine his son wearing it in a month's time. Kind of odd thought. Event surrounded by blue and baby stuff, it was hard to imagine. The stairs creaked. He perked up from his fascination.

Maxie stood at the top of the stairs in a pale yellow nightgown, looking blank. "Hi."

Spinelli gave her a questioning look. "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head. "I…"

"What?" He could see it on her face, something was wrong.

"…I think my water broke."

Maxie's voice shook, her chest heaving suddenly from pent up anxiety. She bit her lip to hold in a frantic sob, but to no avail, as it shook right through her body. Spinelli didn't think he had heard her correctly.

"Huh?"

But before she could respond, Maxie cried out in pain, grabbing her stomach. Her legs bowed out underneath her, making her delicate form crumble on the stairs. Spinelli took off like a bullet, at her side in seconds. He wondered what that odd thumping noise was and realized it was his own heart rattling around in his chest, a wild animal caught in a trap. The blue eyes he'd grown to adore in the past months were glassy with fear and pain.

"It," Maxie gasped, reaching for him. "_hurts_."

Fingernails dug into the front of his shirt, pulling him almost on top of her. Spinelli wrapped her up in his arms as she huffed and puffed, sobbing into his chest. What was he supposed to do? What? Oh, god. He couldn't think. She needed him to think.

Waiting to breathe.

One second two seconds three seconds.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket as best he could without moving Maxie too much, Spinelli tried to remember what number Milo was in his speed dial. Going with his gut instinct, he dialed, holding his breath in the process as the phone rang once, twice, three times before Milo answered. Maxie moaned in pain, her hot breath flaming the front of his shirt.

"Spinelli, what's up?"

"Milo. Have a car ready. Maxie and I need to go to the hospital now. Something is wrong--" Spinelli couldn't add 'with the baby'.

But Milo could. "With the baby?"

Spinelli crushed his sockets closed, feeling Maxie's moans escalate through her lips pressed against his chest.

"Yeah, Milo, with the baby. Be ready, we're heading down."

"Spi…Spuh…" Maxie agonized in his arms. Fog seemed to filter though his head. This couldn't be happening. It was too early, much too early. And that—he thought to himself as Maxie jerked suddenly—didn't sound like normal pain.

"Shhh…" Spinelli hushed her, fumbling a little as he tried to scoop her up in his arms. The stairs didn't make this the best place for lifting, so he wobbled a little. Why couldn't he be inherently strong, sweep the damsel in distress off her feet? But Maxie didn't complain at his ineptitude, wrapping her arms around his neck as he lifted her off the ground. Something in his brain said not to worry, she wouldn't fall, he was strong enough. She became light as air in that moment, small miracles and the whatnot. Or perhaps just a shot of adrenaline.

Ivory teeth chattered next to his ear, a little off beat with the chatter of his own. Fear was like ice running down his spine. He folded her delicate form against his body, images of a perfect blonde lying in her favorite red dress on the steps of the park, a phone cord tangling its web over her neck, haunting his mind. His nightmares…didn't compare to this.

On the way out of the penthouse, Spinelli took one final backward glance at the leftover mess from the party, wondering if it had all been for naught.

……

**A/N: …Well…what do you think?...Yeah….**

**Also: ****If you are a fan of the story "ABANDON ALL HOPE" uploaded last week, LISTEN UP: Bela and I have decided to DELETE the story and RE-UPLOAD it under HER screen name. The next time that story is updated, it will be under the screen name ROSIE THE RIVETER. Look for it!! If you want to know the exact moment it is uploaded, add her to your author alerts! You can find a quick link to her profile if you check out my favorite authors on my profile. I repeate: Rosie the Riveter will now be the author that the updates for ABANDON ALL HOPE are listed under. **

**Expect and update on Abandon All Hope SOON. Remember, LOOK for it!! **

**Next Chapter: …The Stillness**


	33. The Stillness

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 33: The Stillness**

_I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you._

**Author's Note: **_**Italics**_** are flashbacks to **_**four hours earlier**_**. **

Spinelli's hands shook as he brought two candles together, using the lit wick of one to light the other. He sat both now lit candles down among the dozen or so others, some still glowing prayers for past visitors to the small chapel. For a moment he simply watched his little flame, the stream of yellow energy flickering and pulsing. Spinelli ran his finger over the fire, coming close to burning himself a few times. Black soot gathered in the lines of his fingerprint.

"_We need to get him out, now," Dr. Lee muttered to her assistant. The small nurse nodded, and they seemingly had an understanding that things were bad. Spinelli felt Maxie's hand grip his tightly._

"_What? He's not due for a month," Maxie moaned in pain, her forehead perspiring shimmering beads of sweat. Spinelli didn't like how pale she was. He knelt by her bed, getting eye level with her. Gently, he pushed some of her hair off of her brow. She glanced at him briefly in fear. _

"_Maxie, we need to do an emergency c-section. Your baby's heart rate is much lower than it should be. He is in distress. Your baby wants out, wants relief. This is your body's way of telling us that there is an issue."_

"_What do you mean, distress?"_

"_Maxie, I fear that if we do not deliver him now, we will have a still baby on our hands."_

"_No," Spinelli felt the words rush from his lips._

_Maxie's teeth chattered. "What's wrong with him?"_

_Dr. Lee shook her head. "I think it's his heart. I can't do a proper diagnostic test with him still in the womb."_

_Maxie's fingernails dug into his skin. Spinelli didn't know if it was pain from a contraction or the realization that their son was not only dying, but it was because of his heart. _

"_Time is of the essence, Maxie. A month early is not extremely premature. The risk is not as significant as what I fear for your son if we do not deliver him tonight."_

_Choking back tears, Maxie shuddered. Spinelli watched Dr. Lee's face for a sign of hope, some indication that her fears were not too extreme, even precautionary. He saw only deep seated concern. This was bad. He had never, ever anticipated this. _

He was drained. The back of his eye sockets burned and ached. Gripping the edges of the small table displaying all the candles, Spinelli tried to keep himself from falling down. Slowly, though, his knees quivered underneath him, begging to settle on the floor. He obliged them, letting his forehead rest on the edge of the table. His death grip on the wood intensified, the pattern of its grain leaving small indentions in his fingers. The table was cold against his forehead, a small relief considering the huge pressure building inside his brain, threatening to burst at any moment if one more thing went wrong.

"_Watch her BP, please." Dr. Lee ordered one of the nurses. Spinelli tried to ignore whatever that could mean, fascinated by the shade of blue that radiated from Maxie's eyes. She had never once faltered in her beauty in the time he'd known her. _

_Even as enemies, he knew she was practically sin in a pair of heels, the kind of sin you are willing to go to hell for. Mornings, she would wake up from hours of sleep glowing like the sunlight streaming in his window, making the rest of the world look like absolutely hideous creatures in comparison for rousing from their own rest looking as they did. She simply smoldered every day, even as her pregnancy developed, always insisting on looking fabulous. _

_Even lying there, exhausted and afraid, Spinelli marveled at her loveliness. His sweet, strange miracle. She would kill him if she knew that he thought of her that way. "I'm no angel" seemed to be her motto, or perhaps simply her own self-deprecating taunting. He didn't need her to be a saint, never expected that from her, but he couldn't deny how he felt about her. A vision of something that should not have been his, and yet she was. He loved her so deeply it scared him for a moment. _

"_We're not…p-prepared," Maxie stuttered. It was true, they hadn't even gotten a chance to look at a place to live yet. What had they been doing for eight months? Falling in love? _

_Spinelli shook his head fervently. "Don't worry about that."_

"_I'm not ready, I'm not!" She hissed. He leaned down and kissed her fiercely. Her hand weakly tangled in his hair. Resting their foreheads together, Spinelli tried to assure her as best he could. _

"_What did I tell you, Sassy Maxie?"_

_She stared at him blearily. "You wouldn't leave me."_

"_I wouldn't leave you," Spinelli repeated, recalling the night he first speculated Maxie could be pregnant at Jason's penthouse. How long ago that had been. "I will never leave you, we will do this together. Do not be afraid."_

_It shocked him how certain he felt at that moment. Maxie blinked. "What if he dies? Oh, Spinelli, what if he dies?" _

_Spinelli shook his head bitterly, dispersing that option from that equation. It was going to be Maxie and him with their son come morning, safe, sound and secure. _

"_We're ready, Maxie." Dr. Lee stated gently._

Spinelli sputtered, his breath catching in his chest again as the thought of everything that had transpired that evening flashed through his mind. Rolling his temple against the table, Spinelli swallowed back the bile rising in his throat, burning him on the inside. A sigh hissed from his lips.

_In an instant it was chaos. Spinelli briefly saw a small purple form in Dr. Lee's arms before it was handed off to another nurse, and then a bundle of staff in scrubs and surgical masks formed around the table where they worked quickly and intensely. Dr. Lee looked flushed red. He didn't know what was going on. They had the baby out, why weren't they shouting congratulations? _

"_Spinelli, Spinelli, do you see him? What does he look like?" Maxie murmured. Her hand seemed so small in his. He briefly gazed down at her snow white skin and felt his stomach flutter in fear. She tried to push herself up on her arms to see what was going on, but Spinelli gently pinned her back down. _

"_Shh…just a second…rest…He's fine, he's fine," Spinelli lied. He had no idea what was going on. _

"_What does he look like?" Maxie repeated, her tousled hair sticking to her forehead. Spinelli pressed a kiss into her hand, smiling a little, hoping his fear wasn't written all over his face. A nurse stepped out of the way of the table briefly and Spinelli saw the small purple form lying still on the table, a hoard of medical staff encircling his tiny frame. Purple. That was all he could think. Spinelli felt sick. _

"_Why isn't he crying, Spinelli?" Maxie's eyes bugged out in fear. "He's supposed to cry, right?" _

_Spinelli instantly thought back to his dream of Georgie and Caleb on the steps of the park. He had asked her why his son was there…if she was dead, and he was dead…why was he there._

_Her answer had been so simple. Waiting to breathe. _

"Please, God…Please God…Please…" Spinelli repeated over and over, the repetition of the request soothing in a strange way. Soon his lips were merely forming the words, no sound escaping them anymore. A very long time passed. His knees began to ache from being in that position, but he couldn't move. The humming in his head seemed a lullaby after a while. This was true exhaustion—the lack of caring if he ever moved again. He felt like he could kneel on that floor amidst a prayer for years.

"_Spinelli, what is wrong?" Maxie begged. He watched the form…his son….their son…unmoving. Dr. Lee briefly made eye contact with him. A split second's glance was enough to wreck his farce of bravery. Maxie tugged on his hand for his attention. _

_A voice that he did not connect with bubbled from his body. "It's okay, Maxie. The doctors are just working on him." _

_Maxie's eyes looked glassy. Spinelli thought for a moment she was crying. Had she seen? How did she know? Was he that terrible of a liar? Suddenly, her eyes rolled back in her head. Spinelli felt something crack in his mind. No. Not her. No. The world started quaking beneath him. _

"_Maxie? No. Maxie. Wake up. Maxie?" Spinelli felt someone tugging him away from her. He fought against their pulling. He didn't want to leave her. _

"_Spinelli, please, we need to talk in the hallway."_

"_But Maxie!"_

"_Spinelli please, come outside. We need you out of the way."_

"_No!"_

_And yet despite his protests, Spinelli found himself in the quiet serenity of the hospital hallway, cold tile walls surrounding him. He backed against the wall behind him, watching the scene from inside the room disappear as a nurse pulled the door closed. She removed her mask. It was Nadine. Spinelli hadn't even realized she had been in operating room at all. _

"_Nadine, what's happening?" He grabbed her shoulders, making sure she couldn't escape him without giving him some answer. Nadine sighed heavily._

"_He's not breathing on his own. Dr. Lee is trying to stabilize him. If we can do that, she will put him on a ventilator."_

"_He's dying…" Spinelli whispered. Nadine cringed. She wasn't a doctor, she couldn't say anything like that. And what about Maxie? Not them both. He felt the air knocked out of him._

"_Hey, Spinelli. Focus on me. Take a deep breath. I am going to go back in there and get you some answers, okay? I need you to stay right here and wait on me. I will find out about Maxie too, okay?"_

_Spinelli nodded blankly. Nadine bustled backwards into the room, pushing the door closed with a snap. Spinelli briefly saw the inside of the chaos again. Then the door closed, leaving him staring at its simple cold form. Nadine told him to stay put,that she would tell him what was going on. However, he found that his feet were moving away from the insanity, traipsing mindlessly down hallway after hallway._

Stillness. Not even a ripple in the air. Was he even breathing anymore? Spinelli opened his eyes briefly, his forehead still pressed into the edge of the table. He scanned the pattern of the carpet. Green eyes raked over the little fibers. He slowly fell back on his legs, crumpling. Sitting there on the ground, Spinelli turned his focus back onto the candles, still steadily flickering. His prayer glowed gently. The candle was just a small tea light, like the ones Lulu and Sam had put all around the penthouse living room as decorations. The smoke shimmered softly away from the flame. Spinelli listened carefully to the silence, waiting for God or someone to answer the questions racing through his mind.

A creaking from the chapel door shook him out of his thoughts. Spinelli did not feel embarrassed in the slighted for being caught like he was, broken on the ground. Instead, he only felt numb. Blearily turning to the intruder, Spinelli found fair Samantha McCall waiting in the doorway.

"Oh, Spinelli," Sam sighed heavily, blinking fast. Of course, she would know, wouldn't she? How he felt. She would know better than anyone. Spinelli briefly recalled disbelieving her when she told him she wanted to be a mother, that she actually would have been, if her daughter hadn't died. In his immaturity, Spinelli had scoffed at the idea that she would sully her beauty for the sake of motherhood. 

His goddess, someone's mom? But he understood…now…It was a burn of love like no other. He would never heal from this wound that cut him so deeply and absolutely. It would scar and he would be proud that its intensity lingered with him forever. They would say The Jackal, someone's father? And they would misunderstand, confused as to how or why, because he was not father material, just as Sam was no mother.

Sam was by his side in seconds. He buried himself in her embrace. A friend, his friend.

"Maxie?" He questioned. She shook her head, gently rubbing his back.

"She's not awake yet."

Sam pulled away from him. Gently, she helped him stand up, leading him over to the pews of the chapel. His legs shook underneath him, weak from the heaviness cascading through him in that moment. She steadied him a little.

"I had to find you. They said you were having a…well…a fit…."

Spinelli sank down on the pew. It creaked slightly under their weight. "I probably was." He dimly remembered stumbling into a room full of people waiting to hear on the situation. All he had been able to do was stutter. For a moment he had a vision of blood running down the wall behind Jason's head as he tried to explain the Mac and Robin that Maxie had passed out and the baby wasn't breathing. Then he had collapsed. The world went completely quiet. He didn't remember hearing anything at all until Dr. Lee had found them all and explained that Maxie was unconscious but stable. The baby was another situation. He was in the NICU on a ventilator, a feeble heart and underdeveloped lungs. Dr. Lee made no promises.

Sam spoke up. "Do you believe? In…this?" She gestured meekly at their surroundings. The candles, pews, the cross on the wall. Spinelli focused his attention back on his glowing prayer.

"Yes."

She did not reply for a while, and then murmured, "I don't know what I believe."

Spinelli gingerly shrugged. "I've never been able to see any other way for the world to be."

Sam rubbed both of her arms as if she were cold. "I don't know what I believe, but…I do…talk...to her…my baby…That's stupid, I know."

"No." Spinelli was sure. "It's not stupid."

"I just talk sometimes…don't even realize I'm doing it…It makes me feel better. Peaceful, you know?"

The stillness. "Yeah. I know."

"Is that like you…lighting the candles?"

He reflected on his time so far in the chapel. It felt right. "After a while…yes…peaceful. Quiet…Numb…Still."

"Exactly," Sam agreed with a slow nod. They were quiet for a long time. He hadn't gotten any questions answered from his deity yet, so Spinelli posed them to Sam.

"What am I supposed to do, Sam?"

She shrugged, not in a dismissing way, but tired. "Right now? You're doing it."

Spinelli shook his head. "No. If he…dies."

Sam was silent for a moment. "Let's not think that way."

"No, Sam. Please. Please don't feed me that right now. Just tell me, if he dies, how do I…"

"Keep living?"

"Yes."

He didn't really have any right to ask her this, really. Bringing up old wounds, something she probably couldn't help but think about at that moment, but not necessarily ready to discuss it. Spinelli couldn't help himself though; he needed to hear someone explain to him what his role in this was supposed to be. Caleb had become this integral part in his existence already. He loved his son. If he died, Spinelli wanted to know what would become of him.

Sam was quiet for a very long time. He worried she wouldn't answer him. Then, she started speaking relentlessly as if a tidal wave of emotion were escaping her. Her pain was poetry, something she felt so deeply that it was obvious not a day had gone by that she hadn't thought about it.

"It will be like death for a very long time," Sam started. He hung on her every word. "You'll feel like…you were buried too. You will move through the day like a robot, looking for anything to feel alive again, blaming everything in your life on the wrong people. It will feel like you don't work anymore. You are broken."

Spinelli choked on a sob, knowing he could feel that life creeping towards him already. Quickly he checked to make sure that his candle was still flickering. The glow was steady. Sam continued.

"And then one day…you'll…just…be alive again. You'll laugh; something will make you genuinely happy. Your heart will be so willing to love again, to feel again…That pain will never be gone, but…you find a way to live again."

Sam went quiet. Spinelli gave her a moment to mourn and reflect in privacy considering she had just been so open with him.

"Thank you for coming to find me."

"I'll tell you what, Spinelli. We can just sit here for a while until you're ready to go out there again…You say your prayers…And I'll talk to my baby girl…and I'll tell her to help your little boy fight…to watch out for him…" Huge tears fell from her eyes and Spinelli jerked from a sob as well. She pulled him close, embracing him once again. Spinelli did as she said he should, falling into another prayer. And in the stillness that followed, the small tea light burned bright.

…

**A/N: I am so incredibly proud of this chapter. It took a long time to think about, and even longer time to start writing, but once I found my rhythm I really got into it. This might be the most completely satisfied I have been with a chapter ever. **

**Because I love it so much, PLEASE review. LoL. Also review if you have a need for spoilers or have some questions, I will always reply your reviews!**

**Also, I would just like to quickly thank the voters at Opposite Attraction that voted The Luckiest as best work in progress, best tear jerker, and for voting me best author. I adore you all, thank you for the support. I am so excited my fic has been so successful, and I hope you know I appreciate every reviewer and reader. Spixie FTW.**

**Just FYI: Supporting Spixie via the comment line or fan mail is still so important. If you would like info on how you could campaign for Spixie as a couple on GH, just review and I'll send you to information, or you can visit Opposite Attraction/SpinelliGH Livejournal for more info. **

**Next Chapter: Maxie awakens. Got a request or speculative idea about next chapter? REVIEW!**


	34. By Now I Am Immortal

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 34: By Now I Am Immortal**

"_What if I'd been born 50 years before you?"_

_Maxie wandered down the hospital hallways, looking for something, not knowing what. How did she get here? She glanced down at her clothing and saw that she was wearing a hospital gown. Her round stomach was no longer protruding loudly from underneath the white fabric. Bare feet tapped against the cold tiled floor, leading her down corridor after corridor; knowing the way even if she did not. _

_Wait. She had seen this before. Maxie slowed her walk as she turned the corner. Somehow, she already knew that around the bend of the hallway would be a couple standing with their backs to her. And there they were, standing inches apart. The blonde woman grabbed the dark haired man's hand. Maxie kept walking towards them, but they shimmered and dissolved into the air, the dust glittering like a thousand tiny lightning bugs. In their wake stood a small child with blue eyes that glowed like a sapphire stone. Maxie suddenly shook with fear, feeling her body ache at the sight of him. He waved goodbye and darted away down another corridor. Though the pain was growing stronger, Maxie pushed forward, chasing after the small child. _

"_No, Caleb, no!" Her voice echoed against the tile walls as her mysterious child darted into a room labeled 'cardiology'. She knew somehow that if he went in there, he would not come back out. Following him into the room, Maxie could feel cold air on her face. This left her uncomfortable, but she couldn't get distracted. Caleb had gone into this room, she had to find him. _

_But once inside the room, Maxie did not find the boy waiting for her. Instead, the smiling face of Jesse was lingering just inside the doorway as if he had expected her. _

"_Hello, Maxie. Are you looking for the cardiologist?" He asked._

_Maxie shook her head. "No. No, where is my baby?" _

_Jesse frowned at her, confused. Before he could answer, Maxie felt a hand in hers. She turned to see who had grabbed a hold of her, and her knees almost buckled at the sight of Georgie standing beside her. Her sister was dressed like Jesse, a white lab coat over her frame. Maxie froze when Georgie smiled sadly._

"_Come on, Maxie. Wake up."_

"_Georgie?" Maxie reached up to touch her face. There was that sharp pain again, and the cold air on her face. Georgie squeezed her hand. _

"_Just wake up, Maxie."_

"_What?"_

"Maxie…Maxie…sweetheart…can you hear me?" Robin spoke gently. Her warm hand was resting in Maxie's. She began to register a strange whistling sound. Reaching a hand to her face, Maxie blindly felt what she assumed was an oxygen tube draped across her face, cold air hissing in her direction. Blearily, Maxie opened her eyes. She instantly connected the weight on her body with wires and tubes being draped over her gown. Robin leaned in over her. She was tired looking and Maxie tried to figure out why.

"Robin?"

"Hey there. You had us worried."

"Hmmm?" Maxie blinked rapidly, trying to account for how she'd gotten in that bed.

"Do you know why you're here?"

Her head was foggy. All she could remember clearly was the dream she'd just had, her sister holding her hand, a little boy running away from her. She'd dreamed it before, a long time ago. The déjà-vu was tickling her mind. Caleb. Spinelli. Maxie felt her face contort in fear in the realization of what had happened to her. Her hands shifted as quickly as they could in search for the familiar roundness that had grown steadily on her form for months. Gone, the slope of her figure reduced to something more like the body she had lived with for most of her life, but now tragically empty. When had that happened? And then a more horrible thought-- the trip was over, but where was her souvenir?

Maxie huffed, tears and panic welling up inside her. Robin shook her head and tried to calm her with a gentle shush.

"Maxie, calm down, you need to keep your blood pressure down—"

"Where's my baby?"

"Maxie, please, take a breath!"

"Stop it Robin, tell me what happened right now!" Maxie tried to push herself up but shuddered with an aching pain from her abdomen. Sinking back onto the pillows, Maxie sobbed and tried to brush her tears out of her eyes as they fell, her emotions going faster than her mind. It was as if she instinctively knew that something was wrong without Robin admitting it.

Robin grimaced, reaching a soothing hand to push hair from Maxie's forehead where it clung. "You were having contractions. Dr. Lee thought that there might have been something wrong with the baby's heart, his pressure was low, they did a c-section, you passed out."

Maxie searched her mind and stitched together pieces of this story with the fragments of images floating around in her mind.

"Caleb, where is he?"

Robin's eyes fell for just a moment; enough time for Maxie's heart to sink into her chest and then make its way up the back of her throat.

"No." It was a simple statement.

Robin shook her head. "He's alive."

"What does that mean?" Maxie hiccupped.

"Your baby is on a ventilator in the NICU."

For some reason, a violent hate raced through her body. She couldn't figure out where it came from or who it was directed at, but it pounded loudly in her head and tingled down to her fingertips. Of course, she should have known. Her small cursed son didn't have chance. So, what was this? Another person to add to her devil's dozen? Another leaving, finding the exit quickly. And with the trail of dead and bitter getting longer and longer each day, it was clear. She was immortal, she would never die, and she would watch every single person she loved fly into the dark night without a backwards glance, their blurring figures in the distance haunting her for an eternity, alone. Spinelli was a fluke, or his trap door hadn't opened yet. She was sure the noose was around his neck, though. Their son was lying and waiting for his sweet breath to escape him…and it was her fault. She existed, and someone found offense with that, so she should suffer for eternity.

Maxie pushed Robin's hand away roughly. Get away, Maxie thought, run and go now before you get caught up in my storm!

"Dr. Lee is doing everything she can, Maxie, you have to believe that. I think he's got a good chance, I've seen his charts, it isn't hopeless, it's just going to be a rough--"

"What does he look like?" Maxie spat bitterly as tears rolled down her face, a blubbering sound escaping her. That wasn't the question to ask at the moment, she supposed. She should be asking about what they were doing to help her son, if he was going to die, what her part in this was, what the hell was going on…But oddly enough that didn't matter to her in that moment. She just wanted to see him, her son, and hold him. Maxie's arms felt void of the one thing they needed desperately at that moment. She wanted to see him, feel his heaviness close to her. This was all wrong.

Robin's mouth opened and closed a few times. "I haven't seen him…Spinelli hasn't even seen him…"

"How can you tell me how he is if you haven't seen him?" Maxie sobbed, erratic. She wasn't making sense, of course. Seeing the baby had little to do with anything, really. Robin was a trained doctor, a chart of data could give her all the information she needed, but Maxie didn't understand medical jargon. She lived by her heart, she needed to see him. Maxie's teeth chattered like she was trapped in a snowstorm. In fact, a blizzard was raging in her mind, confusing snowy thoughts fluttering around and blinding her path.

She tried to focus. The baby…he was sick. Sick, her son. Spinelli's son. They were so stupid. She shouldn't have ever slept with him. She couldn't bear the thought of her night with Spinelli being this large of a mistake. Was he in pain? Their little boy, who she was positive must have had Spinelli's unruly hair, struggling for life. Oh god, she'd rather they had never made him than have him suffer. She would go back to being miserable and alone if it meant he didn't have to be put through this.

"What does it mean, that he's on a ventilator? Is he…even…alive? Or is the machine just doing that breathing for him and he's like…like…stuck…in limbo or whatever…Oh God, Robin, what does it mean?"

Robin started to finally lose her doctor's sense of calm. She rubbed her eyes on the back of her hand and let out a shuddering breath. "Well…the ventilator is helping him breathe…He struggles on his own."

"It's my fault," Maxie moaned, her voice low. Robin shook her head furiously and leaned in, kissing her on the forehead.

"No, it's no one's fault. Things just…happen, Maxie."

"I should have done better…" Maxie replied, not even really knowing what that meant. She felt Robin's arms begin to wrap around her, and Maxie clung tight, afraid her cousin would disappear too. She was selfish. Their connection would surely curse Robin, eventually, but Maxie needed her so badly.

"Where is Spinelli?" Maxie shuddered, her nerves fluttering her body.

Robin sighed. "Spinelli has been a wreck. He had a panic attack right after the delivery. It was frightening, he came into the waiting room where we were all gathered and everyone started asking him questions. Poor guy, he was overwhelmed and completely zoned out already. I think he said there was blood on the wall."

Maxie sucked in her breath very quickly realizing what Robin meant. Spinelli's stress must have triggered horrible memories.

"We had no idea what he was talking about. Well, Jason did, I think. Spinelli grabbed him by the front of his shirt and started saying 'they're gone, both gone' and I think everyone started to have a collective heart attack. He was completely incoherent, couldn't even standup on his own, Jason had to practically hold him. It was horrible to watch, this grown man falling apart, and the worst thing was not knowing what was going on."

Robin continued, shaking her head. "Spinelli finally got quiet but he didn't answer any questions, I think he was in a daze. Finally Dr. Lee came and told us that you were okay but the baby had a stressed heart and underdeveloped lungs. After hearing that, Spinelli kind of woke up and I think he went down to the chapel. That's the last I saw of him…But don't worry, I know Jason is watching for him…"

There were voices slowly rising outside of the hospital room. Maxie flinched, recognizing the cadence of the louder one as Spinelli's. Robin stood up from her chair, her eyes looking confused.

"That's Patrick," she muttered, standing slowly.

"…_The mother of my son!" _Spinelli's voice rang out loudly.

"And Spinelli," Maxie added. "Why are they yelling?"

"Let me go see what's wrong." Robin headed for the door. Maxie craned her neck to see out into the hallway but Robin closed the door behind her too quickly. Spinelli and Patrick's voices were hot and tense, though, and Maxie hated the hollow sound she heard in Spinelli's.

Listening closely, Maxie focused on what was being said outside her room.

"…You have no right to keep me out!"

"I'm not keeping you out, I'm just telling you what Dr. Lee recommended--"

"I need to see her!"

Maxie heard the calm rumble of Robin's voice. The yelling stopped and the tones grew quieter finally, the fight ending.

"Awake?" Spinelli called loudly, a whine in his voice, like a dog at the door begging to be let in.

Then Maxie's door swung open. She had hoped it would have been Spinelli, but it was Robin.

"Spinelli wants to see you."

"Let him in, I need to see him," Maxie replied as if this were a no brainer.

Robin shook her head. "Dr. Lee thinks he will stress you out too much."

"Dr. Lee is wrong," Maxie growled, protective of Spinelli and resentful of anyone who thought they could judge him _or_ what was best for her.

"Maxie…"

"I want to see him." Maxie declared coldly. If this was a "them against the world" situation, then let it be so.

Robin nodded, backing out the door.

"She wants to see him," Maxie heard Robin say as the door came to a close. More low voices, trying to conceal whatever they were saying, obviously aware that Maxie could hear everything they were saying. Another minute of talking passed and Maxie decided she had had enough. She needed to see Spinelli, to know what was going on, to see it all in his eyes. Maxie tried to sit up, flinching at the tight pain in her stomach. If they weren't going to let him come to her, she would go to him. It might bust every damn stitch out of her stomach, but was Spinelli! He needed her. Maxie wavered through the pain, trying to inch her legs over the side of the bed, her body weak and not cooperating with the demands of her heart.

Before she could figure out how exactly she was going to accomplish this task, the door swung open with a burst of energy. Spinelli bounded to her bedside before she couldn't even register what the look on his face read. She saw his eyes flash in worry, obviously aware of what she had been trying to do. He tucked her one escaping limb back under the sheets of her bed, shaking with fear or something equally horrible and foreign to him.

Maxie felt her vacant arms aching to hold him, since they could not hold her baby. She reached up and found her need met instantly when he pressed himself as close to her as he could, wrapping her up in his embrace. The intensity was that of life and death, and yet he still managed to be gentle, treating her like a dried flower that could burst into dust at any moment. Spinelli kissed her temple, the bridge of her nose, and then the corner of her mouth. He began breaking down in her arms. A wet hot tear fell from his eyes onto her cheek.

"Maxie maxie maxie…" he muttered sweetly/savagely.

Maxie couldn't think of a thing to say or ask, only feeling complete sorrow in that moment. If it had hurt before, it burned ten times worse seeing Spinelli this devastated.

"…He wasn't breathing Maxie…" he stammered rigidly. "I've been praying and praying for so long…I thought I lost you…"

Slowly, Spinelli traveled down her form, settling back in the chair beside her bed. He rested his head gently on her stomach, looking in the direction of where the hill had been for months. Spinelli ran a hand across the flat sheet.

"He was right here. Right here. He was fine. And he's not now."

Maxie shook violently from sobs, knowing exactly what Spinelli meant. He felt robbed, so did she. She ran a hand through his hair tiredly.

What were they going to do?

……

**Author's Note: The dream at the beginning of this chapter is a redo of the chapter called "Forewarning"…just because…well…I did warn you. I apologize for this chapter taking forever. School hath begun and hard chapters like these are always such a challenge to find time to write. You know I'm not giving up on the fic though, so never fear. Horrah hurrah and huzzah for the amazing Spinelli and Maxie scenes on the show as of late...When Spinelli was on the stairs listening to Maxie and Jason talk, did anyone get the sense of déjà vu? Bwahaha. Also, be looking for an update to "Abandon All Hope" soon. Bela has been without internet for a long time and it has been hard to chat with her, but mostly I haven't had time to write my part of the update.**

**Please review. They really get my creativity pumped up and ready to write some more! Questions, comments, and requests are always welcome!**

**Next Chapter: A bad situation gets worse.**


	35. Getting Perspective

**The Luckiest **

**Chapter 35: Getting Perspective**

Anthony Zacchara spun around several times in his wheelchair, attempting to amuse himself in the ever quiet mansion. He heard the faint taping of Trevor's expensive shoes outside the door of his office before the man actually appeared there.

"Trevor! What a beautiful day it is. Come in, come in," Anthon waved Trevor inside the room from his chair and his lawyer rolled his eyes at the faux excitement.

"What is it you're up to, Anthony?" Trevor headed for the bar to get a drink.

"Why do I have to be up to something?" Anthony chuckled.

It was Trevor's turn to laugh. "What is on the agenda today, Mr. Zacchara?"

"I want to set up a meeting with Morgan."

"Bad idea, Daddy," Claudia appeared in the doorway. Anthony glared at her.

"Daughter, why do you speak when you are not spoken to?"

"Just leave Morgan alone today." Claudia ignored his dismissal and sounded serious. This perked Anthony's interest.

"And what, pray tell, is so different about this day, my sweet first born?"

Claudia looked slightly upset. A few thoughts mulled around in his head about what might break the heart of ice inside his daughter. Trevor had settled down in a chair and was watching Claudia with his typical level of lust. Anthony was going to put a bullet in his attorney's brain one day, when he was least expecting it, but until then he refrained.

"I assume Claudia is referring to the Police Commissioner's daughter," Trevor explained.

"The dead one?" Anthony said with a laugh, trying to figure out the connection.

Claudia shook her head, not nearly as amused by his easy phrasing about a dead daughter. "No, Daddy, the alive one."

Anthony shrugged. "Does she do tricks? Is he screwing her? That would be highly amusing. I'm missing something; please tell me what it is, sweet child."

"Morgan's hacker knocked her up," Trevor chimed in.

"The goofy kid with speech impediment?"

Claudia glared. "It's not a speech impediment. He just has a better vocabulary than you."

Anthony smiled. His daughter always found interest in these oddities. "So, there's a precious bundle of joy on the way, I'll send a fruit basket."

Trevor snickered. "It's probably not the right time for celebration."

"The baby probably isn't going to make it. Spinelli--"

"Who's Spinelli?" Anthony fiddled with a notch on his chair.

"The goofy kid with the speech impediment," Trevor clarified.

"Spinelli is devastated, Morgan is distracted," Claudia finished. She tore her eyes away from her father's bemused expression and started picking at the paint on her nails. She liked to pretend she had the spirit and mental strength of a hardened criminal, but her inherent female weakness made her get weepy over puppies with broken legs and sick babies.

"Distracted eh?" Anthony smirked. He liked the sound of that.

However, the glare of daggers that burned from Claudia's eyes at that moment made Anthony hesitate.

"It's a baby, Daddy. Leave them alone."

Anthony spoke slowly. "And why would I do that?"

"I'd listen to her on this one, Anthony," Trevor swilled his drink. "Jason Morgan might not even be the one to worry about in this situation,"

"Meaning?"

"That hacker…he's obsessive. You mess with Jason's organization when he's mourning his child…I think you'll find your accounts drained and all your money sent to charitable organizations in a matter of hours."

Claudia smiled a little, and that was how Anthony knew Trevor was serious. He rapped his fingers on the edge of his chair and thought to himself.

"You've sent flowers to hospital, I assume?" He inquired to Claudia. This question was met with a sincere smile and a nod.

"Red roses, Daddy."

…………………………………

"Alexis!" Diane Miller called as she tapped on the door to her friend's house. A few minutes passed and Alexis swung open the door and stood there.

"Wow. Bad day?" Alexis asked. Diane pushed past her and quickly flopped onto the couch.

"Probably the worst I've had in weeks, and I think I'll be charging Jason extra for dramatic situations."

Alexis joined her on the couch and waited for further explanation. Diane pulled off her heels and rolled back into the cushions of the sofa.

"It was actually rather normal, except I needed Jason to sign these papers, and that meant taking a trip up to the hospital."

Alexis blinked, confused.

Diane explained. "Mr. Jackal's baby is still on a ventilator."

"Oh…wow."

Diane clicked her tongue, thinking back to her brief meeting with Morgan just an hour ago. "It's very strange to see Jason show that much compassion. I'm used to him keeping a cool head. So, I go to the hospital and I've got the papers all ready to be signed, I even have a pen in my hand. As I was heading up to the room where I expected Jason to be lurking, I can hear this pathetic sobbing and yelling."

Alexis froze, mouth agape. Diane sighed heavily and continued. "I am lucky enough to round the corner just as Spinelli, red faced and ranting, tears streaming down his face, starts pushing Jason into wall. Jason is so caught off guard by this that he actually gets knocked off balance a little."

"Spinelli tried to fight Jason?" Alexis gasped.

Diane nodded, blinking rapidly. "He says, not a hint of grasshopper in him," Diane distinguished with an underlying gesture, "'_Do not preach to me about doing what is best for my son_!'"

Alexis was confused. "What?"

Waving her question away, Diane realized Alexis wasn't aware of the full context of what Spinelli meant-- Baby Jake's true paternity. "Doesn't matter. Anyways, he _crumples_ and Jason has to _catch him_." Diane paused, picturing the scene in her mind again, the exhaustion on Spinelli's face.

" I'm standing there with a pen in one hand and papers in the other, completely unprepared to deal with seeing one grown man have to console another in that manner. Jason spots me and motions that he needs a minute. He then proceeds to half drag, half carry Spinelli into the hospital room. And I am left alone, wishing I had just waited until morning to deal with the whole thing."

They were silent for a minute. Diane stared up at Alexis' ceiling and watched a fly bounce around.

"I like Spinelli," Alexis stated with very little weight in her words.

Diane nodded, solemnly. "Yes. I like him too."

……………………………………………………

Felicia stood at the window of her small house, staring out into cloudy skies. She couldn't decide what type of weather they would be having. Should she take her umbrella? The phone rang, drawing her out of her pondering. She traipsed across the living room lightly to answer it, expecting a telemarketer or her mother on the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Felicia." An all too familiar husky voice received her greeting.

"Mac?" It had been several weeks since she'd spoken to him. Maxie had no idea her mother was keeping tabs on her pregnancy. What could this be about? Felicia's heart skipped a beat.

"Maxie had her baby," Mac said softly. The way he said it made Felicia know something was wrong.

"What happened?"

"He's very sickly. I don't understand most of the medical stuff, but he can't breathe on his own."

"Oh my god…that's horrible Mac...What about Maxie?"

Mac sighed. "If I were you, I would come to town. You probably shouldn't come to visit her, but being in the area and available might be a good thing right now."

Felicia spotted the letter her daughter had mailed her a few months back sitting on the desk by the phone charger.

"I don't think she'd want me there, Mac."

"We're not talking about wants, Felicia. We're talking about needs."

……………………………………………………………

Logan popped a peanut shell and tossed a bit into his mouth, throwing back a swig of beer to chase it. He spun his cell phone around on the counter of the bar a few times, watching a few people play pool across the room. Coleman made a motion as if inquiring if he wanted another beer, but he turned the barman down. Another boring night in Port Charles.

"How's it goin'?" Coop asked, plopping down on the barstool next to him. Logan shrugged.

"It's goin'."

"Yeah. Same here."

"Coleman, a beer for my friend please?"

Coop shook his head. "No thanks. Not tonight."

Logan snickered. "You abstainin' on me?"

Silence was his answer. Logan got curious by that. "Okay, what's really going on?"

Coop tapped the counter with his hand nervously. "Maxie had the baby."

Logan froze, confused for a moment. "Oh yeah…her and Pinocchio. You still bitter about that?"

"You know…that baby could have been mine. If she'd turned to me, it could have been mine."

Logan dropped the peanut shell back into the bowl. "Who dude…you're getting kind of weird and reminiscent on me."

Coop looked him straight in the eye. "They think it's going to die."

The pool table erupted in a thunder of cheering as one of the players beat the other. Coop grimaced. Pushing the bowl of peanuts over to his comrade, Logan downed the last of his beer.

"That's pretty harsh. Wow. You dodged a bullet with that one, didn't you?"

Coop stared at the wall lined with bottle after bottle of booze. Slowly, he nodded in agreement.

…………………………………

"Clarisse?"

"Yes Ms. Howard?"

"Where did you put the stack of intern applications for review? I want to start looking at them today."

"Top drawer on your left, Ms. Howard."

Kate sat down at her desk and opened the drawer, seeing the file waiting for her. "Thank you Clarisse."

She shuffled through the stack for about ten minutes, not seeing anything that really struck her as unique. The name Maxie Jones appeared on the top of one. Kate almost skipped over it but then properly registered the name. A stone fell into Kate's stomach seeing the vibrant young woman's interest in working for her. Would that interest be there still? Kate took Maxie's application and set it to the side to look at later.

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, Ms. Howard?"

"Send flowers to the hospital for Maxie Jones and Damian Spinelli."

Clarisse popped into the doorway. "Anything specific for the card?"

Kate paused. "Yes. My prayers are with them and their family."

…………………

"He was wild, wasn't he?"

Robin nodded slowly in agreement. "I realized how blessed we were for Matilda's birth to go so well."

Patrick swayed gently, holding their daughter in his arms. Robin sat on her couch watching them, suddenly the richest woman in the world for being able to be so happy and lucky. If anyone should have had issues with her pregnancy, it would have been her.

"I didn't know how to handle him," Patrick added.

Robin pushed a tear out of her eyes. "He's so sweet too. It was strange seeing him that angry."

"…I think I might have been the same way, if the roles were reversed."

Patrick sat down next to Robin on the couch and moved close to her. He passed the baby to her gently so as not to wake the sleeping figure. Robin smiled at her daughter's face. She looked like her, sort of. Matilda was either cursed or blessed with Patrick's ears though. He was very proud of that dominate feature. It was a signature of him in her life. Robin nuzzled the baby.

"Maxie has lost so many people…I don't know what will happen to her if that baby doesn't make it. She's really found stability and growth because of him and Spinelli…"

Patrick pushed some hair out of her face. "What is his name, again?"

"Caleb…They're naming him Caleb."

"I think Caleb is going to make it," Patrick said softly. Robin looked up at him, shocked at his out of character optimism.

"Patrick, you saw the tests…" Robin fell into doctor mode.

"We're talking about the kid of a genius and a firecracker. I would never underestimate any combination of their genes."

He leaned onto Robin's shoulder, resting a hand atop their daughter's head.

…………………………………………………

"I have to go to the hospital."

"Do you want me to drive you?"

"Yes…Please."

Lulu pulled her shoes on as Johnny went to fetch his car keys. "Can we stop by a gas station and get some Orange Soda for Spinelli? I think he'd really like that."

"Yup." Johnny tossed his keys in the air and caught them. He held out a hand for her to take. Lulu leapt from the couch and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close.

"You sure you don't want a break from this whole baby thing?" Johnny asked quietly. Lulu shook her head.

"I can deal with it. I know Spinelli is getting sick over the whole thing, I want to be there for him."

They headed for the door, Johnny's arm wrapped around her waist. She liked the security she felt when she was with him. Even something as dark as this was something she could handle with his support. Hopefully, Johnny's support would help her be a better friend to Spinelli in his time of need. As much as she resented Maxie, Lulu found herself completely broken hearted knowing what they were going through.

"So you were there after Maxie woke up?"

"Yeah…a few hours later I dropped in on them. They were like zombies."

"What do you mean…I can imagine it was bad but…"

"Spinelli is a positive ray of sunshine. Nothing can dismantle the atomic bomb that is Maxie. I went to their room yesterday and just saw two people I didn't recognize." Lulu could remember it vividly. She'd walked into Maxie's room and saw a pair of blue eyes glaring death at her against a white pillow. There was a level of hate in her Maxie's eyes that she was not used to, even with their notoriously intense loathing in the past. It was not inspired by anything Lulu had done, but it was directed at her nonetheless. Maxie had stared at her like that without even throwing a backhanded greeting for several moments.

To break away from the awkward stare, Lulu had tried to find Spinelli's hopeful gaze to meet. Instead, she realized he was passed out with his head resting on the edge of Maxie's bed. She was mechanically running her hands through his hair as if soothing him.

"So she was just…staring at you?" Johnny asked.

Lulu nodded. "I asked if she needed anything and she said no, so I left. I felt like I was intruding."

"Spinelli was just sleeping?"

"And a good thing too…I think Patrick was going to suggest a tranquilizer if he didn't calm down."

"Isn't that a little…extreme?"

"It wouldn't really help anything. Spinelli has a one track mind. It's just how he is. If he gets something in his head, he will stick to it. Right now the only thing that he cares about is that baby…that baby has to be okay, or he won't feel balanced."

Johnny opened the car door for her. "Hypothetically speaking…if their baby dies, and he doesn't feel that balance you're talking about…"

Lulu shuddered. "I think we're already seeing how he reacts."

………………………

Elizabeth spotted Jason heading towards the elevators. They caught eyes and she motioned for him to follow her. She led him to a little cove in the hallway out of the public eye.

"You're leaving?"

"Going to get some sleep. I think it's calm enough now for me to take a break," Jason mumbled.

"I feel so bad for them."

Jason shuffled uneasily. "You can't tell me anything about what's going on with their kid, can you?"

Liz shrugged sadly. "It's not complicated. He's very, very weak."

Jason sighed. "Spinelli is becoming erratic. I think he's composed with Maxie, but someone might want to keep an eye on him. I tried to get him to come back to the penthouse with me to get some real rest, but he won't leave. Please, as a favor to me…."

Liz nodded. "I'll call you if we need you."

There was a moment's hesitation as Jason looked over her face as if memorizing it. Liz felt a slow blush creep into her cheeks under his gaze, that burn for him ever present. He pushed a stray hair behind her ear before jerking his hand away and taking a step back from her.

"How's Jake?"

Liz smiled. "He's doing fine."

"It's times like these that I wonder if we made the right choice," Jason admitted solemnly.

"It's times like these that I'm just happy for what we have," Liz replied.

………………………………

"Give me your hand, I'll help you stand,"

"I don't need your help," Maxie murmured. Spinelli ignored her and put his arm around her waist anyways, inching her forward gently.

Dr. Lee stood by the incubator and waited patiently for the young couple to join her next to their sleeping baby. Neither had seen him yet. Maxie had been too weak to leave her bed and Spinelli refused to go without her. Dr. Lee clicked her pen nervously as the two finally reached the baby's side. _Baby Boy Jones _read the tiny placard taped to the side of his clear plastic prison.

"Can you please stop clicking the pen?" Spinelli barked. Dr. Lee froze. She had been hearing from staff about his outbursts. A lot of the nurses were skirting around him and Maxie all day long, the gossip traveling around the hospital about the devastated couple on the 4th floor. It was evident by the hate in Spinelli's eyes that the rumors had been right.

Maxie was an even stranger creature. The mischievous blonde had been replaced with a wispy woman who looked as though she had never smiled in her entire life and did not wish to have experience. Perhaps even more startling than Spinelli and Maxie's individual appearances was their interaction together. Dr. Lee hadn't seen them much since the delivery, dealing with Caleb and other patients, having her nurses do most of the message relaying. She regretted that now, seeing how worn they were. This was one of those cases that probably needed her special attention, and she had failed them.

There was nothing loving or affectionate in the way they maneuvered in each other's presence.

Spinelli reached the incubator with Maxie hanging on him for support. This was that moment that Dr. Lee usually got pleasure from, the moment a parent first set eyes on their child after months of build up and excitement. The mother would sparkle with some sort of impossible to explain glow and the father would cry what was probably his first public tears in years. Moments like these, with a baby hanging on for dear life, pale and small, were the instances she wished they'd prepared her for more in medical school. They could train you how to deal with people, but the real world didn't work according to a system of inputs and outputs. They say this, you say that. It was bull. The world had variables. A parent finds out their child is dying, stick to the script. How does that work when that parent has just lost a sister not even a year before? How do you say what you are supposed to when a parent tells you he has no idea who his father is, when the word 'your son' is bittersweet.

It was moments like these that she was Kelly, and not Dr. Lee.

She watched Spinelli's hand creep out towards the plastic tub like the branch of a tree stretching for light. Maxie gasped a little. Kelly put her pen back in her pocket so that she could refrain from clicking it on impulse.

"He's so…small…"

"Oh…he's…" Spinelli trailed off, taking a deep breath.

"He has a lot of hair, doesn't he?" Kelly said quietly. Maxie nodded her head with a new life behind her eyes. Yet as soon as a hopeful smile started to creep into her gaze, her eyes began to blur with tears. She hissed softly. Spinelli leaned in closer, never breaking his hold around Maxie's waist.

The baby was precious, ignoring the tube that helped him breathe. He had a mop of dark black hair and long black lashes that stood out against his pale skin. Kelly saw distinct features of his mother framed by those of his father. He was really beautiful. Small, delicate, but a wonderful display of two odd lovers.

"Look at his hands, Maxie, look at his feet! And he's so small…and he's paler than me…and he's got a lot of hair--"

"He looks so sick…" Maxie replied to Spinelli's rambling. The energy he had build up instantly left him. Both of them looked to her for an answer, some sort of denial of Maxie's statement.

Kelly shifted back into Dr. Lee, taking out her pen from her pocket. She opened the baby's chart and sighed heavily, wishing she was curled up on the couch of her apartment watching an ER rerun, where the medical drama was fake and she could get lost in the story.

"All right, guys…let's discuss what's going on…"

………………………………………………………………………

**Author's Note: So, I've been finding new ways to develop my creativity for this fic. I thought different perspectives would be a nice little change of pace for me as a writer, I hope you appreciate them for what they are. Don't read too far into any of them, I didn't lace them with clues or anything. People like Maxie and Spinelli have an effect on others, though, and I wanted to show just how much.**

**If you can't get enough of this fic, go read the supplement--Lucky Us: Twenty Sentences. **

**Please review! You know I love your interactions. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Forgive me for not replying last chapters reviews…I just got distracted with school and couldn't find the time. I promise to reply this chapter though! You are my cheerleaders! So much love.**

**Next Chapter: The Bad Blonde One**


	36. The Bad Blonde One

**The Luckiest **

**Chapter 36: The Bad Blonde One**

"Spinelli, what are you doing?" Maxie rolled over in her hospital bed, annoyed by the light tap tap tap of Spinelli's fingers on the keyboard of the laptop.

"…Researching what ails our small one…" He replied with a sigh.

Maxie gripped the sheets of her bed in a clenched fist. "Spinelli…"

He reacted to her tone, glancing up from his laptop with concern etched on his face.

"What? Do you need something?"

Maxie didn't quite know how to tell him to stop annoying the hell out of her when he had that look on his face.

"…Nevermind" she sighed. Maxie rolled back over in her bed and pulled the blankets up to her nose. Hopefully she would only be trapped in this place for one more day. It was like her life was on hold as long as she was confined to that hospital. She considered turning on the little television, seeking a distraction, but the thought of hearing the mind numbing chatter of a talk show or the enhanced reality of drama in that moment seemed more disconcerting than the white noise that had taken up permanent residence in her room.

Instead, she counted the tiles on the wall.

…And Spinelli typed.

Tap tap tap. Click click click. Tap. Sigh. Tap tap. The rhythm of misery.

"…Blindness," Spinelli muttered. Maxie questioned him without turning to face him.

"What?"

"Oh," he replied with a sigh. "Blindness. It's something we might need to worry about."

"Oh." Of course. The baby. Maxie pushed her face into the pillow and wished the ground would swallow her whole.

"And deafness…" Spinelli added slowly as if testing the waters. Taking a deep breath he added, "or mental retardation…learning deficiencies…"

That was when Maxie bolted up from her bed as fast as the pain in her abdomen would let her. The ache from the c-section was dull from pain medication but still there. Spinelli seemed to be startled by this sudden show of energy and froze on the spot, his hands hovering over the keyboard.

"Dr. Lee already told us this, why do you have to remind me?" Maxie barked.

"I just--"

"No, Spinelli. Just don't." Each word was accentuated with a point of her finger in his direction. He looked at her like a kicked puppy.

Spinelli closed the lid of his laptop, blinking heavily. "I just need something to do to feel like I'm…helping"

Sometimes, Maxie liked hurting beautiful things. "Well, unless you can earn a medical degree online then you are worthless. Stop trying."

"Maxie--" He gaped at her like a fish.

"No, Spinelli. Just _stop_." If he said another damn word…

"But I could find out something and inform Dr. Lee---"

"Spinelli!" Maxie's annoyance and anger at life flooded her and directed itself at the one pure thing close to her. "This is not one of those things you can just GOOGLE and figure out. Nothing you or I do can help Caleb at this point."

Spinelli stopped looking like a wounded animal and finally seemed a little outraged. "Why are you acting like this?"

There was something empowering about cutting people down, especially considering Maxie felt as feeble as a sandcastle at high tide in that moment. The Bad Blonde One had always enjoyed it; the cleverness and complete disregard for others emotions that it took to really hurt someone. Having Spinelli in her life and knowing she was going to be a mother had almost completely eradicated the instinct. Almost.

"Acting like what? Realistic? I'll tell you why, Spinelli. Because this is just how the world works. He's either going to make it, or he is not. What we want means nothing. There's no miracle answer you're going to find on that damn computer!"

"But, Maxie," Spinelli opened and closed his mouth, stunned. He searched for the right words. "Miracles…Miracles happen all the time…There are accounts of them happening all over history amongst various cultures and religions. And even if they aren't real, the spirit is real. The belief that sometimes things defy logic and statistics and science—"

Maxie interrupted his tangent with bitingly. "Spinelli, shut up!"

He tore wildly at his hair. The Bad Blonde One finally had an adversary, it seemed; a challenge. Ever see a flower so pretty you wanted to crush it? Ever since seeing their baby, Spinelli's hope had risen, doubled and then tripled hers. He was naturally optimistic and in this case she was jealous of him.

"Why? Why are you so angered over my hope? Are you asking me to just sit back and accept--"

"I'm asking you to get off your god damn computer and stop pretending like this is something you can HACK into a good thing."

"And what? Sit here, moping, like you?"

"I'm not moping; I'm just not going to be delusional. I've lost too many people to--"

The fire that flashed in Spinelli's eyes in that moment made even her fearless alter-ego take pause.

"I am not _delusional_. Everyone has this warped and ludicrous opinion that I'm not thinking on this plane of existence, that my head is in the clouds and I'm not all here."

"...Spinelli, you're trying to jackal a miracle!"

"And I ask again, why are you so angry at me?"

She didn't have an answer for that. "Because you're pissing me off!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Just shut the hell up and go back to your computer." Maxie buried herself into the covers. "Find your miracle, but be quiet. I'm tired."

Spinelli sighed, exasperated. He was silent for a very long time, but eventually the light tapping of his fingers against the keyboard. Maxie had almost drifted asleep when there was a knock at the door. Craning her neck slightly Maxie made eye contact with her visitor. It was Lulu. Maxie grinded her teeth together. Spinelli set his laptop aside and leapt up to greet hid friend and Maxie couldn't help but feel a flash of jealousy. The pair hugged whilst Maxie watched them.

"Hi Spinelli," Lulu said, pulling away from him and brandishing a bag. "I brought you some food."

"Oh," Spinelli took the bag from her and sat it on the counter near them. "Thank you."

Lulu glanced at Maxie and shuffled awkwardly. "How is the baby?"

Spinelli began to say something but Maxie interrupted him. "Tell me something, Lulu."

"What?"

Maxie sat up in bed, pausing. She picked at a thread on the sheet. "How old would your baby be?"

Lulu's expression was priceless. Her eyes bugged out of her head. "Excuse me?"

No going back now. "That baby you aborted. How old would he or she be if you had kept it?"

"Wow, Maxie…" Lulu blinked, shell shocked.

"A year and a half old?" Maxie clicked her tongue. "Maybe a little older?"

Lulu looked back and forth between her and Spinelli, incredulous. "What does this have to do with anything?"

Spinelli shook his head and stepped between the two of them, furious.

"Maxie, back off. Lulu means no harm to us."

Maxie ignored him and stared Lulu down. The other blonde's eyes were glittering. "I bet her baby wouldn't have had a _single_ _thing_ wrong with it."

Spinelli took a step forward. "Maxie!"

"Mine's got a tube running down his throat," she finished lifelessly. This time she got no pleasure in wounding Lulu. Spinelli looked torn between the two of them, confused on who might need his attention more. The expression on Lulu's face made it clear that her pain might be rivaling Maxie's in that moment. Lulu rallied, though, and flashed with anger.

"Look, I know you're hurting, but I haven't done anything to earn this from you right now."

"You have no idea how much I hurt" Maxie spat.

Spinelli turned to Lulu and fumbled for words. "Lulu, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize for me, Spinelli. I'm a big girl."

He revolved on the spot. "You're attacking Lulu for no reason. I get that you are upset, but you have no right to say these things!"

"It's not fair!" Maxie screamed. Spinelli actually stepped back. Realizing that they were at an impasse, he turned back to Lulu.

"Lulu. I will talk to you later, okay? Thank you for the food."

"Yeah," Lulu said hollowly. "Yeah, alright."

She shuffled her purse and stood frozen for a moment as if confused on where to go. Without another word, Lulu bolted for the door and was gone. Spinelli watched her leave, running his hands through his hair.

"What was that?"

Maxie lay back on her pillows. "I just can't deal with Lulu right now."

"I cannot believe you just said those things to her without warrant or provocation."

"Do you think I should have gotten an abortion?"

"What?" Spinelli's demeanor instantly changed.

"If we could do it over, knowing that he was going to be suffering like he is, and possibly handicapped, would you have wanted me to have gotten an abortion?"

"The answer is unequivocally no," Spinelli sat down on the edge of her bed and grabbed her hand. Maxie squeezed it, a tear falling down her cheek.

"Why?"

"…Because I'm not convinced hope is lost," Spinelli pushed her tear away.

"Spinelli, please."

"What do you want me to say, Maxie?" He replied softly. "Would you?"

"...I don't know. I just wish this wasn't happening."

"Nothing is happening." Spinelli kissed her hand. The denial in his voice made Maxie grumble.

"He's can't even breathe on his own, Spinelli!"

"Every minute he holds on he is a minute stronger."

Maxie dropped his hand and sobbed.

"I'm sitting here watching you cave into yourself," Spinelli recited her own words from months ago back to her. Maxie felt like a failure. For months now she had felt as though her life was improving and yet here she was slipping. Was everything as shallow? What about her love for Spinelli? Was that just a result of a superficial connection? Nothing made sense anymore, and she had grown very used to the stability of her life.

The bed shifted and Spinelli stood, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Maxie asked.

"I'll be right back," Spinelli answered, a determined tone to his voice.

………………………..

"His color looks a little better, right?"

"Sure, Spinelli…" Nadine smiled, shuffling around the NICU. Spinelli leaned in on the tub and watched Caleb sleep. It occurred to him that the baby had freckles across the bridge of his nose. Spinelli remembered his mother had freckles. Maybe that was where they came from.

"Can I have a minute?"

Nadine paused. "Well…I'm really not supposed to leave the room."

"Can you just stand outside the door? I need to have a stern discussion with my son."

"Alright. Try to make it quick." Nadine pat him on the shoulder quickly as she made her way outside the room. Spinelli turned back to the tub.

"Hello Caleb," Spinelli scooted closer. "I think it's time you and I have our first father son talk. Gosh…you've got Maxie's nose." He marveled at all the traces of her in their son. The mop of dark hair made it pretty clear who his father was though.

"Your mom…umm…Your mother…" Spinelli choked but recovered quickly, taking a few breaths. "She is really struggling with this. And to be honest, I am no pillar of strength either."

Spinelli took a moment to recover as best he could before continuing. "I've had these marvelous fantasies of the three of us being a…unit. A..f-family. Yes. A family. I've been looking forward to all these odd little scenarios…like…Introducing you to my most incredulous Granny. I should call her. Umm…"

It was strange to think that he'd gone so long with only his grandmother as family. Yet, two years in Port Charles had given him more kin than he ever expected.

"You know I bet if I were to carry you around this town people would give us funny looks wondering what in the hell—um….heck…I was doing with a small kid."

All of those people who constantly scratched their heads at him or found him socially awkward…his son was going to prove them wrong. That he functioned like anyone else and could be loved. Children were supposed to be the best of their parents.

Spinelli sighed. "I really wanted to show people that something good could come from me. I want you to be with me, in my life, in Maxie's life." Spinelli whispered so that what he said was just between him and Caleb.

"But…but I understand if you just can't. If this is just too big a fight for someone so small…If you are tired…if it's too much…I will understand."

Spinelli didn't even cry saying the words because it was the truth. It would be selfish of him to ask too much of Caleb. It hurt to say and his life would never be the same but Spinelli couldn't handle his son suffering another minute. If he wasn't supposed to live, Spinelli had no right asking him to. It wasn't giving up, it wasn't accepting defeat. It was being a parent, a grown up, a man. It was putting someone else's needs before his own. If Caleb needed to slip quietly into the night, Spinelli wouldn't begrudge him peace.

"I really…really wish you would stay." Spinelli sat there staring into the clear plastic tub in a moment of odd serenity. He should probably get back to Maxie.

Just as he stood to leave, Spinelli saw something that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Caleb's little hand fluttered open and closed. For so long now it seemed his son had been lifeless except for the robotic breathing machine puffing out his chest on a timely basis. Spinelli gasped.

"Nadine!"

"What's wrong Spinelli?" Nadine bolted back around the corner.

"His hand moved," Spinelli remarked incredulously. Nadine's brow furrowed. She looked at Caleb's vitals.

"Not seeing any changes…" she muttered.

Spinelli's excitement fell. "Oh. So it doesn't mean anything…"

Nadine shook her head. "Oh no, it might mean something…I'll inform Dr. Lee."

"So…he could be improving?" Spinelli smiled for the first time all week.

Noting something on his chart, Nadine raised an eyebrow. "I don't think anyone's counting your boy out…"

With that, Spinelli bolted out of the room.

……………………..

Robin settled into the chair next to Maxie's bed and began rambling about something or other. Maxie found herself zoning out. Then Robin brought up her daughter and how she had done something adorable. Maxie glared.

"Robin it's hard for me to care about what your baby is doing when mine is hanging on to life by a machine," Maxie barked. Robin instantly shrunk back in her seat.

"I'm sorry, I just…"

Maxie shook her head. "It's not fair."

"Oh, Maxie…You can't give up hope."

"Robin I know you're trying to help but I doubt you can understand what I'm going through right now."

Robin reached out to hold her hand but Maxie tugged it away.

"Maxie why are you acting like this?"

"Do you even have to ask? I can't deal with this Robin!"

"Maxie,"

"Robin, please just go."

After a moment's pause, Robin stood up and gathered her things. "Call me if you need me." In true Robin fashion she took the verbal beating from Maxie and returned it with a kiss on the forehead before heading out the door. Maxie buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

"Why is this happening to me again? Georgie, I thought you would look out for him…"

……………..

Spinelli rounded the corner down the hallway to Maxie's room with an odd warmth in his heart. He believed in a lot of things that some did not, and he took Caleb's small hand movement as a sign that they needed to hold on. This was just the thing Maxie needed to give her back some hope.

He wasn't expecting the sound of Maxie's yelling as he neared her room. Spinelli started to run, now worried about what was going on. Her room was filled with nurses, one of them being Epiphany. The head nurse pushed him backwards out of the door.

"What's going on?"

Epiphany sighed. "She's having a fit. We're trying to give her a sedative. Miss Jones is very upset."

Spinelli was shocked. "Let me see her."

"Mr. Spinelli…"

"I'll talk to her. She'll calm down," he explained. Epiphany paused but agreed, motioning for the other nurses to leave the room and allow him to enter. Maxie was crying heavily into her hands looking like an attacked animal. He crawled onto the bed next to her and pulled her close, rubbing her back hoping to sooth his broken love.

"Shhh…"

"I can't do this…"

"Maxie listen to me…"

"No, no more. No one wants to be realistic."

Spinelli held her face between his hands, making her focus. "Listen."

Maxie pushed him away and lay back down. Spinelli gently pushed some hair out of her face.

"I went to see our baby. Did you know he had freckles? Anyways, I went and saw him…" Spinelli rambled, the glow in his heart growing stronger with each word. "He moved his hand. Maxie, he moved his _hand_!"

Maxie only blinked. Spinelli continued. "I don't know what it means, but it means something. This whole thing…You and me…connecting that night. Things happen for a reason. I believe that. This journey has a purpose. It isn't going to end this way. I mean…a one night stand has led me down the most important road of my life. You and me, falling in love, learning about my parents, getting over Georgie's death together…All of it is because of that little baby one floor down. It has to have meaning. That's why he can't die."

Spinelli finished by grabbing her hand. "Don't you see?"

Maxie stared at him. "I want you to leave."

Spinelli hadn't expected that. "What?"

"You need to go," she reiterated.

Releasing her hand, Spinelli was taken aback. "I guess…I could go back to the penthouse…sleep. I'll come back tomorrow? Or later?"

Maxie shook her head blankly. "No. I don't want you to come back."

It took a moment for him to realize what she meant. She didn't just want him to leave; she wanted him to leave _her_.

"No," Spinelli's voice wavered, unbelieving. "No you don't mean that."

"I'm not going to stop you from visiting Caleb. I pray you are right and he is improving…but I can't do this with you right now. Everyone is telling me it's not so bad…People I love die, and you don't seem to grasp that."

Spinelli was shaking. "Maxie, I love you---"

"We're over, Spinelli," Maxie interrupted, casting off his declaration of love coldly.

Spinelli stood up from the bed as if it had electrocuted him. "No…you aren't making any sense."

"What part of if 'we're over' do you not understand?" Maxie barked.

He backed up, searching the ground for answers. "Okay. I'll go."

Stumbling for the door, Spinelli froze in the doorway. "But I love you…and I know you still love me."

He heard Maxie muffle a sob as he exited the room.

…………………………

**Author's Note: Patience, oh ye of little faith. We're right on schedule. Promise.**

**Please review. I know it takes a while for me to update sometimes, but I've been sick and stressed…Your support makes me feel sparkly. LOL Also, go check out my new little short series "Love, Love is a Verb".**

**Next Chapter: Spinelli and Maxie receive good news about Caleb, but does that change anything for their relationship?**


	37. The Five Senses

**The Luckiest**

**The Five Senses (Push You Down)**

**A/N: The lyrics are pretty, the message is better. We're going to pass some time with some pretty music, okay? Push by Matchbox Twenty…It fits this chapter. Let it engage your senses, for that is the theme of this chapter—the five senses. Smell, hearing, taste, touch, sight. **

_She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough  
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in  
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved  
By a hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's  
Gonna give, And I'm a little bit angry, well_

_**Smell**_

Maxie creaked open the door to her home. Finally, she was released from the hospital. Mac had driven her home, apologizing that he couldn't stay to take care of her. He explained that there had been a homicide on the docks with the work of the mob written all of over it. The station needed him. Maxie was fine with that. She really just wanted to be alone.

Mac had asked her where Spinelli was, why he wasn't shadowing her like he had been for the past 8 months. They'd broken up, she explained. Her dad tried to ask for an explanation and the torrent of anger Maxie unleashed on him had been enough to make sure he didn't bring it up again.

The house looked like Maxie felt on the inside—dark and empty. She had begun to think of that place as just another house and a residence; it no longer felt like home. It hadn't been home for a long time, not since her mother had abandoned them, though Georgie's presence had at least left a makeshift family atmosphere in the air. After her death, the house gave up its charade as home and settled for its status as a place to cook the occasional dinner and receive junk mail. Then, Spinelli happened. For so long now it seemed Maxie had been sleeping in his bed with his gentle warmth fitting her curves perfectly each night.

She needed to get some sleep. The baby had tests to go through in the morning. Maxie wanted to be there, as much as it hurt. Trudging into the living room, Maxie was struck by the heavy fragrance of flowers. The room was filled with vases and baskets of flowers all varying in size and type. These people must have been too afraid of the devastated parents of the dying baby to bring the floral arrangements to the hospital.

It smelled like a funeral home. She'd been to enough of those to know the scent well, and Maxie resented it. Tears started burning in her eyes and Maxie tried to blink them away. She wondered if she could ever be in the room with another bouquet again and appreciate it's aroma of nature without ever thinking about death.

Her fingertips crept down her frame, expecting that familiar rise and fall that she had been tracing in mindless patterns for months. It was gone, though. Nothing was growing just below her heart anymore. That was when Maxie truly felt alone. She grasped the corner of the couch for support.

Amidst the trail of lilies and roses mingling in the air, a different trace registered her senses. This was distinct, something she wouldn't ever forget. It was perfume, the kind she'd played with as a little girl sitting at her mother's vanity. Maxie remembered that it was the prettiest bottle. Only one person she knew wore that same aroma. Her body tensed and she drew a shuddering breath when the floor creaked behind her. Spinning on her heels, Maxie gasped when she saw her mother standing in the door way that lead into the kitchen. Felicia looked equally stunned.

"What are you doing here?" Maxie asked, incredulous.

Felicia shuffled awkwardly as if caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "I left my phone in the kitchen…" She trailed off. Maxie shook her head, confused.

"Why…"

"Mac called me when the baby was born. He asked me to come to town. I was going to try and leave before you came back home…but…"

Maxie crossed her arms in front of her. "Who said I needed you."

Felicia was blank. It was strange to see the once great Felicia Jones seem no taller than her actual height. Perhaps Maxie had truly cut her down to size at Georgie's funeral. For a long time Maxie's frustrations had centered themselves around her hatred for her mother. Today it just didn't seem worth anything, anymore.

"He just asked me to come. I'll go." Felicia started backing up, intending to leave.

Maxie closed her eyes. "Wait."

When she opened them, Felicia had stopped in her tracks, looking hopeful. Maxie searched her eyes for some sort of connection, that essence that only a mother had with their daughter. A spark, something?

She found it. "I don't care if you stay here."

"Okay." The corner of Felicia's mouth twitched. They were silent for a moment.

"Mac said you named him Caleb?"

Nodding, Maxie replied. "He's really small…" Her voice broke. Covering her eyes like a mask, Maxie tried to press the tears from her eyes. She wasn't ready to breakdown. Or, maybe she was. It seemed the breakdown was coming and Maxie had no say in the matter. Her lips sputtered and she backed into the arm of the couch so that she didn't crumple to the ground. It was only a moment before Felicia was tentatively wrapping her arms around Maxie's smalls frame. Stroking her hair soothingly, Felicia began making up for years of absence with small, quiet words of support. Maxie pressed herself into the warmth of her mother's embrace and pretended for a moment that she had forgiven her, because in that moment she just didn't have the strength to hate her anymore.

"It's okay sweetheart," Felicia muttered.

Cherry blossoms--that was the perfume.

_This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around  
You don't owe me, we might change, Yeah we just might feel good  
I wanna push you around, well I will, I will  
I wanna push you down, well I will, I will  
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted  
Well I will_

**Hearing**

Spinelli leaned against the wall outside of the NICU biting his nails down to the bed. His nerves were wrecked. This was it. He glanced over at Maxie sitting on the bench nearest the door. She looked just as stressed as him. He noted she wasn't wearing any makeup. The blue of her eyes stood out more without it. Robin sat next to her, rubbing her back in circles, speaking quietly to her. They hadn't said a word to one another all morning. It really hurt.

The tapping of Maxie's shoes on the ground mimicked the pounding in his chest. Everyone knew how important today would be. Dr. Lee had done everything she could. A ventilator had been keeping Caleb alive for almost two weeks, and this would be the day that they moved him off of it. Do or die was too morbid a saying in that moment, but it was pretty close to the truth. No one had asked what would happen if the little baby didn't breathe on his own. After this, it was up to time. Faith, prayers, hopes, dreams, & wishes had no voice anymore. What was going to be done was done already.

There were murmurs going on in the room, their small rumbles traveling through the wall in low otherworldly cadence. Spinelli wished he was Superman. Supersensitive hearing would be a lot better than straining to translate one muffled sound from another. He strained to find Dr. Lee's voice amongst the two other nurses and various shuffling and machines.

After a few minutes, Spinelli found himself staring at Maxie. She caught his eye and he looked away with a sigh. Twice over the last week she had called him in the middle of the night, the ring shaking him from a shallow sleep, only to hang up on him. He tried to call her back but Maxie refused to answer. Spinelli was at a loss. There didn't seem to be a good explanation for what was going on. Jason told him to wait, give her some space. Not knowing anything else better to do, Spinelli did just that.

The door creaked open and Dr. Lee stepped out. Maxie bolted up from her seat; Spinelli felt a surge of nausea wash over him, fear of whatever news the doctor might have had.

"What happened," Maxie swallowed hard. She had that determined look on her face. Spinelli tried not to fall in love with her for the thousandth time that day but failed.

Dr. Lee nodded, stoic. "He's holding his own."

A great rush of air left his lungs at once and Spinelli realized he'd been holding his breath for a long time. Lived? Survived? The procedure alone could have killed him.

"Thank you, Doctor," Spinelli whispered.

She smiled. "We're not out of the woods yet, but this is a step in the right direction."

"Can we see him," Maxie chirped.

Dr. Lee nodded, opening the door. Spinelli and Maxie put on the protective scrubs like they always did in silence, but this time with a little more enthusiasm than usual. It would be the first time either of them saw their son without the tube. A milestone.

There was something different in the air. He couldn't put his finger on it at first, but then Spinelli realized that it was an overwhelming hush. The rhythmic puff-click of the ventilator was gone. It was like Spinelli had traded grape juice for a red wine. This was music with meaning—quiet, endearing quiet.

And as Spinelli neared the plastic tub that cradled his son, he heard a true opus—his life's work.

Caleb's light breathing was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

_She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me  
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya  
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me  
You couldn't stand to be near me  
When my face don't seem to want to shine  
Cuz it's a little bit dirty well_

**Taste **

The salty tear crept down her cheek and settled on the corner of her mouth. It was one to be savored, though. Maxie didn't brush it away. That was her first tear of happiness in a month. One month. Caleb's original due date came and passed. She'd been a mother for a solid, terrible month. Maxie felt as though her heart were twitching to life for the first time. Dr. Lee had called it a miracle and that thought had stunned her. Maxie had a miracle set aside especially for her? Was it possible? Could you really just Google one of those these days?

Maxie remembered a few months back sitting with Spinelli at a picnic in the park. They had been talking about religion. She didn't know much about the Greek gods he mentioned or the Buddhist traditions that he rambled about, but Maxie actually enjoyed hearing him. She found it adorable how he would gesticulate wildly when talking about great wars in Olympus and what they symbolized to humanity. He would get solemn when comparing the plight of Native tribes, recounting to her their various beliefs about spirits in the sun and water.

"Spinelli, heaven and hell is a little above my head…" she joked, passing him strawberry.

Spinelli paused his tangent. "Religion isn't about heaven and hell…It's about humanity. It's a statement about what we believe as people."

Maxie rolled her eyes. "And what about those that don't believe anything?"

Spinelli smiled. "Then that says something about you too."

She poked his stomach. "Don't judge me."

He rolled his eyes. "As if I could ever judge you."

Maxie laid back on the picnic blankets, tracing a circle over her growing stomach. "So, what about you. Your Mr. Computer Science Man. What do you believe?"

Spinelli cocked his head to the side and looked at her. "I'm the Jackal, Assassin of the Internet. Code is my life. Details…building structures that work on a mental and tangible level. Everything is complex, and there is thought that goes into it all. Every code has a reason, a natural order. Sometimes one must go to great lengths in order to create something minute. And all of it has my handiwork behind it."

"Yes…"

He snatched a strawberry from the basket and held it up to her. "Look at this strawberry. Molecules, cells, nutrients…It's red. It's sweet. It's a fruit, it's small. It has commands—grow, reproduce, shrivel and die. _Details_… _Code_…God is in the details, Sassy Max."

Spinelli stretched the strawberry out to reach her mouth. Maxie bit the tip of it coyly. Spinelli laughed and tossed the rest in his mouth, lying down beside her. Maxie kissed him, the sweetness still on his lips.

"So how do you explain a miracle?" She asked.

Spinelli shrugged. "Hacking the code."

Maxie had been a mother for one month, a month longer than she'd ever expected.

_Don't just stand there, say nice things to me  
I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you  
You don't know me, I can't change  
I won't do anything at all  
_

**Touch**

Spinelli was a traditional person for the most part. Except for the hacking, the pot smoking, working for criminals, sleeping with girls he didn't love and knocking them up…He was rather conservative. Or, perhaps the term was old fashioned. Romantic? Oh well. The word didn't really matter. It was all relative. The point was there were certain things he believed to be true.

They seemed simple to most people, but often were the most overlooked things about life. People who loved each other should be together. Good hearted people should be rewarded, bad people should suffer. Parents should be with their children (he often reiterated this to Jason regarding Jake).

It was nearing a month and a half that he and Maxie had been "broken up". They still had to see each other every day at the hospital. Caleb was improving, eating on his own. He had hoped that once Caleb started strengthening maybe Maxie would soften. In the first few weeks without her Spinelli had been wrecked, but that pain had been trumped often by concern about how the baby was. It was when Caleb started improving that Spinelli really started feeling the effects of her absence. She wasn't leaving her high heels in the floor of his room where he could easily trip over them. The counter in his bathroom wasn't covered with girly hair care products or makeup. She wasn't stealing the blanket from him during the night.

And she wasn't around to laugh. Or smile. Or sit quietly with him while he worked on stuff for Jason. He missed cooking her favorite pasta like he did every Thursday. He missed how she made him feel about his own being. Maxie Jones loving you meant the most beautiful and strange creature loved you. He was confident in knowing she was his. He was special.

All that was left was an empty bed and a quiet bachelor pad. Life with Maxie had been holding a stick of dynamite in one hand and a match in the other, the two only inches apart. Now he had a firecracker.

People asked him what had happened. He didn't know what to tell anyone. Surprisingly it had been Mac that had pulled him aside one day and given him the best advice so far on dealing with the situation.

"Just…hold on," Mac muttered gruffly. Maybe he knew something Spinelli didn't. It didn't matter. He would hold on for her until his death if he had to.

Tradition number one: People who loved each other should be together.

With that belief in mind, Spinelli found patience.

On this day, Spinelli stood in the NICU across from Maxie, mere inches apart. For the first time, Dr. Lee was allowing them to finally hold their son. He had to note how she simply glowed with life with the small child pressed close to her heart. Heart pounding, Spinelli tentatively outstretched his arms as Maxie passed Caleb to him. A river was running down her face but she smiled, overjoyed.

For a moment, Maxie's hands brushed his arm. Electricity raced through him as his family was connected all together for a brief, shining minute. This was the finish line of a very long race. If anyone tried to tell him that his Caleb wasn't going to make it after that.

The baby was heavier than he'd expected, and warm. Maxie checked so that Spinelli held his head the right way then leaned forward to kiss his temple with a butterfly's touch. In a brief show of affection for him, she brushed her hand against Spinelli's cheek before backing up to give him and Caleb a moment together.

"Hello, Caleb," Spinelli laughed. Maxie chuckled too, as well as a few nurses who were watching nearby with glittering eyes.

Though already falling back to sleep, Caleb clutched the front of Spinelli's shirt and held on tight. Spinelli leaned in and kissed the top of his son's head, the soft brown curls feeling like silk against his lips.

"I'm glad you chose to stay."

_Oh but don't bowl me over  
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so  
Crazy, crazy  
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby_

**Sight**

"Have you noticed his eyes?" Maxie muttered quietly.

Spinelli nodded. "I have indeed."

They were finally at the point of speaking in small sentences. Communication was good, considering.

"I didn't expect that," Maxie added.

"Neither did I. I thought he would have your eyes. One of them is being very stubborn though."

"What does that mean?"

"That our son is refusing to go with expectations," Spinelli rocked softly in the chair. He held a small mask up to the baby's face. Dr. Lee had prescribed round the clock breathing treatments for Caleb in order to aid him in breathing. Every four hours someone had to give him a treatment or Caleb had issues. Spinelli felt that was an easy task if it meant his son would survive.

After everything, Spinelli and Maxie were finally going to be real parents. Caleb was scheduled to be discharged from the hospital after two months in the NICU. Two months filled with rage, tears, and frustration had finally ended in peace.

It was a little pathetic to see a baby getting a breathing treatment but he didn't seem to mind it much. It caused him to sleep a lot.

Maxie reached out a hand a brushed the hair the baby's head. "Of course he's going to go against the grain. He has us for parents…but…I mean…his eyes!"

She was referring to a rather strange discovery they'd made only recently. Every dream Spinelli had ever had involving Caleb made it so that his son had the bright blue eyes of Maxie. Imagine their surprise to discover that one was changing a suspicious shade of green. That excited Spinelli, because so far all Caleb seemed to be inheriting from him was his pale skin and crazy hair.

Caleb hiccupped. That amused Spinelli. Maxie snickered too. They made eye contact for a moment, both of them lingering in each other's gaze for a moment longer than usual.

"We did it." Spinelli said quietly.

Maxie smiled sadly. "Yeah, we did. Now we just have to worry about the rest of it…"

Spinelli shook his head. "No. We're not going to worry. Just take it one day at a time."

"Well, Spinelli, he's going to need special care if he's deaf and I just don't know how well I'm going to do with that," Maxie said in a rush.

Dr. Lee had warned them that the strong medication mixed with the fact that he hadn't been breathing at birth set him at risk for deafness. They wouldn't know if he had any learning deficiencies until he was older, but they weren't off the table. He seemed to be responding well to tests in that area but Dr. Lee had some serious doubts about his hearing.

"We'll deal with it," Spinelli stressed. Maxie bit her tongue.

The treatment was over. To calm her, Spinelli slowly handed Caleb to Maxie. She swaddled the baby and brought him close.

"You're going home tomorrow with me, little baby." Maxie curled some of his hair around her fingers.

Spinelli held his breath. She wouldn't say the rest out loud. They were going to trade him back and forth like a divorced couple. He didn't know how well that was going to work, and he didn't understand why it was going on. They didn't need to share custody of a baby that way. They could live in the same place together and raise Caleb together, if Maxie wasn't so stubborn. He had suggested this at one point and the fight that had followed was just as messy and confusing as the night they broke up. Of course, they didn't have a place of their own. Spinelli had a crib set up in his room and Maxie had one in hers. It was like pieces of a home spread over a great distance. He couldn't make her see that though. She had her own very odd and self-deprecating perception all her own.

"You have the strangest eyes…" Maxie muttered quietly. "It's like he's _really_ half of us."

…………

**Author's Note: I KNOW! I updated in a timely manner. I hope you liked this chapter, I really liked writing it. That's probably why I wrote it so fast. **

**We're nearing the end of the road. Odd to think about. Please read and review! I'd love to see this fic make that 700 reviews mark! What an accomplishment! **

**Next Chapter: Custody Life. Some Jason and Spinelli…plus one. And maybe a surprise for Maxie's birthday? I think you'll like this surprise. **


	38. Custody Battles

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 38: Custody Battles**

Scooting the chair closer to the basinet, Maxie smoothed down Caleb's blanket. It was so late, but she couldn't bring herself to sleep. A horrible nightmare had just disturbed her so badly she couldn't go back to sleep without checking on the baby.

He had been blue and cold in the dream. Her sweet baby had his life stolen from him after all. Maxie had awoken disoriented but with an overwhelming since of sadness, and then the dream had come back to her. This was her greatest fear—that, even though Caleb was finally home and over the worst of his rough start in the world, one day she would find him dead. It would all be over for her then.

The nightmare was still working her nerves. Maxie watched Caleb sleep, counting his breaths, fearing without reason that the next one simply wouldn't come. How many people had left her? The doctors told her that he would live, but what did they know about living a cursed life? People she loved left. It was as simple as that.

Slowly, her bedroom door creaked open. Maxie turned to see Felicia standing in the doorway. She pulled her robe around her tightly.

"Are you okay? I heard crying…"

Maxie wiped her eyes, not even aware she'd been tearing up.

"Nightmare. Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." Maxie kept her tone cool. Her mother had been staying at the house since Maxie's approval of her presence. She would be leaving in a few days, going back to her life, wherever she had made it. They didn't speak much, but Maxie did like having the help of someone more experienced with motherhood help her out with Caleb in the beginning. It was odd, to Maxie, that the woman who had walked away from raising her own children could still show a new parent how the job was done.

There was no forgiveness exchanged, though. Just quiet acceptance of the situation, two adults being civil, and maybe one day they could be more. Mac had been right in inviting her to come stay, but it was no miracle reunion.

"Mind if I come in?" Felicia asked. Maxie nodded. Her mother came in and stood over the basinet, smiling a little. Maxie watched her features and wondered if this was the same expression her mother had worn when she'd seen her own daughters as babies. If so, how could she ever have left them? It was apparent that there was love in her gaze. Perhaps it simply wasn't enough to stay, though.

"He's precious."

Maxie nodded. "Yes."

They agreed on something. Baby steps.

……

Spinelli took the carrier from Maxie and sat it on the ground, crouching low to get a peak at a sleeping Caleb inside. He quickly adjusted the baby's blanket before standing to speak with Maxie, who was doing her usual awkward "linger". This was always the most horrible part of being separated from her; putting on the polite face. They were acting as if they were an amicably split couple with each exchange of the baby, but it was a complete farce. Too many feelings ran rampant at each meeting such as this. It was all make believe, and Spinelli was tired of pretending.

Today, just like they did every few days, they met at Kelly's to exchange parenting duties, passing their first born from mother to father, father to mother. Spinelli inwardly kicked himself, hating the idea of his son growing up like this. What had become of his strange little family?

Maxie crossed her arms in front of her in a protective fashion. He wondered what she was protecting herself from. She put up a wall to keep him back for reasons unknown to him. The logic she used for their breakup escaped him. Spinelli could only be patient and hope that she would wise up soon. Until then, Spinelli would keep trying to remind Maxie that their connection wasn't just that of two parents but two people in love. It was hard not to lose faith, though, when Maxie seemed determined to stick to her guns and keep their contact to a minimum.

_She wasn't dating anyone else_. That was something. He sighed.

"Care to eat with me?" Spinelli asked softly, pushing the hair out of his eyes. Maxie pursed her lips.

"Um…"

He shrugged. Jason told him to not pressure Maxie, so he kept his tone light. "It's just lunch."

"Okay."

Spinelli pulled the chair of the closest table out for her to sit and Maxie shuffled awkwardly into the seat. He followed suit, plopping down as faux casually as he could, all the while his heart racing. This was the first time in weeks she had agreed to give him any extra time. Hope flitted inside him.

But after a moment of uncomfortable silence, Maxie shuffled.

"I think I need to go."

"Maxie…" Spinelli pleaded, his heart sinking. Not another missed opportunity.

She held her hands up as if signaling a surrender, "Spinelli, don't."

Something in her tone made Spinelli feel an almost animalistic growl form in his throat. It wasn't fair. _If she would just let him speak for two seconds instead of cutting him off. _

"Hold on," Spinelli held up a finger. "I need to say something."

Maxie shook her head, her face flushing. "Not here in public."

"Yes," he insisted. "Here. In _public_."

Eyes flashing, Maxie grit her teeth. "What?"

Spinelli glanced down at Caleb sleeping in his carrier and took a deep breath. "When you told me you were pregnant, it was the scariest moment of my entire life. Even still, I told you I would never, ever abandon you. This setup we've got going on here goes against what every fiber in my being is telling me."

"I've got to go," Maxie stood up, the chair raking across the floor with a loud screeching. Caleb's eyes fluttered open, confused. His mother bent down and gently soothed him, curling some of his hair around her small fingers.

"It's okay, little baby. Mom's gotta say goodbye now…" She cooed, ignoring the fact that Spinelli was seething over his latest dismissal.

He didn't know what made him say it. "Fine. Run away, scared little girl."

Maxie's lips curled into a sneer. Blowing a kiss to the baby, she bustled by him without another word. Spinelli clawed at his hair. Reaching down to pick up a blinking Caleb, Spinelli grumbled.

"Well, that went well didn't it?"

Caleb gripped one of the buttons on Spinelli's shirt. Sighing, Spinelli pressed a kiss into his son's temple.

"Caleb, you are a most satisfying listener."

………

Kate Howard clicked her pin, eyeing Maxie over the top of an application. "Now, Miss Jones…You have a son, correct?"

Maxie grinned, sitting up straight. "Yes. He's just a few months old."

"This job is a very stressful and time consuming one," Kate began bluntly. "How would you manage being involved in both worlds?"

"Oh." Damn it. Maxie felt the perfect vision of her future go up in flames. She really wanted this job with Kate Howard's new magazine. Kate, however, seemed icy and not amused at the prospect of having an employee with a child

"Yes," Kate raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair. Maxie didn't know what to do or say to convince her that she could do the job. When the queen of the fashion world is giving you that kind of icy glare, what do you say?

Maxie cleared her throat and figured it was best to be honest. "Well…I don't believe it would be an issue. Spinelli and could work it out…He works too, you know." Inwardly cringing, Maxie wished she could have rearranged and deleted a few of the things she just said to sound a little more distinguished and less needy.

Kate rapped her fingernails on the desk once. "I'm fully aware of Mr. Spinelli's work."

"Yeah. Well. Yeah." Maxie couldn't read Kate one bit. Was she trying be polite and say thanks but no thanks? Was she looking for the right answer? Had Maxie already worn out her welcome? It probably wasn't good to remind Kate about the fact that Spinelli "worked" for the mob. Maxie felt her stomach flop over as she counted all the mistakes she had made during her interview. Did her clothes even look nice?

"Look, Ms. Howard. A good assistant makes it work. A good assistant figures out her own problems and doesn't bring them to her job. When I say it wouldn't be a problem, I mean it. Fashion is my life…I can bring something to your magazine. Please give me the opportunity."

Kate paused, rolling her head on her shoulders calmly as if mulling over what Maxie had said. Her expression didn't change once, though. With baited breath, Maxie felt each second pass like a century.

Slowly, Kate turned the page on Maxie's application. "So, what is your favorite designer?"

…..

He leapt up from the computer when someone rapped on the door to the penthouse. Spinelli was surprised when Maxie stood waiting for him with a huge smile on her face. His betrayer heart leapt at the sight of her. Would there ever be a day when it didn't?

"Hi."

Spinelli leaned on the doorframe. "Hello."

"…Caleb?"

"He's asleep actually. I wasn't expecting you until later…"

"Oh. Well…Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought it was later…"

Spinelli wondered why she was lying. They were supposed to meet at Kelly's like they always did. For a moment he felt uneasy. Maxie was a creature of habit and she only changed things up in extremes. However, the absolute glow radiating from her smile made him put aside any hesitation.

"You're excited about something."

Maxie cocked her head. "You can tell?"

"I know you," Spinelli said quietly, opening the door for her to enter the penthouse. He was curious to see her reaction to what he said, but Maxie was silent, quickly coming inside. She looked around the room as if she expected it to be changed somehow, as if in her absence anything could possibly change. Maxie should have known things would stay stagnate in his life if she wasn't in it. He, too, was a creature of habit. Patterns and codes.

Closing the door, Spinelli motioned for her to sit down. He was a little surprised when she did without much hesitation.

"So what is it?"

"Kate Howard called me…" Maxie bit her lip, pausing for dramatics. "I got a job working as her assistant."

Spinelli stood stunned for a moment. His Maxie accomplished a goal. Many late nights had been spent talking with her about where they saw themselves in the future if they had any option. She had always seen herself in the role of something glamorous. Though excited to hear more about her dreams, Spinelli had always been afraid of them. He didn't know where he fit in with the glitz of a world in fashion. Now, it didn't matter. She had her job and they weren't together.

Good for her. Spinelli gulped.

"Wow. That's great." He sat next to her on the couch, realizing this was the longest conversation they'd had together that wasn't about the baby in months.

Maxie tensed. "I'll be working more…" He could hear the implication in her tone. That would mean they would have to readjust their current ways of doing things. "We'll figure it out."

"You're the best," Maxie sighed, relieved. Had she expected him to answer differently? As if he could turn her down, as if he wouldn't rearrange the stars if he had to, all for her.

"I'm proud of you. You're on your way to getting everything you want."

Spinelli quietly pondered the shade of blue of her eyes. He missed them. Seeing the color reflected back at him from Caleb's curious gaze wasn't enough. The essence of _her_ couldn't translate genetically.

"Yeah… Everything."

Maxie pulled on the sleeves of her sweater. A blue sweater. Spinelli felt a memory kiss the edges of his mind for a split moment. They sat there for a moment in silence. She must have felt it too, a recognition of _meaning_ in the air. Adrenaline surged inside him. Reaching out a hand, Spinelli seized the swiftly passing opportunity to make things different. He simply brushed a strand of hair out of Maxie's eyes, but they both knew he was trying to chip away at the brick wall of their severance.

She blinked. "Spinelli…"

"Yes?" He whispered.

A small cry split the silence, coming from upstairs. Spinelli and Maxie both jumped as the sound was amplified over the baby monitor. Their son had decided to awake from his nap.

Maxie jumped up, clearing her throat. "Well…I'll just get him packed up…"

As she darted for the stairs to his bedroom, Spinelli buried his face in the couch. "Damn it."

…

"You're like my very own fashion model, Caleb."

Caleb just looked at her. Maxie laughed at his blank expression. This was her favorite extracurricular activity to do with her son—shopping. It was impossible to pass a window of a baby store without seeing something that made her absolutely break down into a cooing mess, spotting something she could envision Caleb in.

After cashing her first check working for Kate's magazine, Maxie was delighted to splurge a little on her son. He was still tiny and didn't need much in the way of fashion, but Maxie couldn't help it.

Maxie held up a dark blue pair of footie pajamas. A classic look, it said that the baby who wore them was a go-getter with success in his future. Laughing to herself, Maxie waved the ensemble in front of Caleb.

"What do you think?"

He blinked, unaffected.

"Aww…I can already tell you aren't going to care one bit about good clothing, are you?"

Caleb still just stared. She loved his eyes. The blue one mirrored her own ; the green one sparkled in the lighting. His one green eye was just like his enthusiasm for good clothing: inherited from daddy. For a moment Maxie paused, wanting to call Spinelli and hear his voice. This happened a lot. She wanted to talk to him, feel his reassuring presence. There was no way he'd want her back now, though. Not after she had distanced them from each other for so long, through some of the most difficult after Caleb's birth to the hectic lifestyle adjustment as parents.

Besides, Maxie had resolved herself to being alone. It would be better this way. They'd dodged too many bullets, literally and figuratively, playing with fate. Maxie couldn't deal with losing him and she wanted to spare him her curse. It didn't matter her how crazy she sounded, thinking in those terms.

Maxie drug herself out of her confusing and painful thoughts. Caleb was drooling a little bit. She laughed, tickled by his expression. They needed to hurry up the shopping. Caleb had to have breathing treatments on a very specific schedule to deal with his weak lungs. Their adventure in fashion would just have to be wrapped up soon.

She gazed around the store quickly, scanning to see if anything stood out to her. A tabled near the two of them caught her eye. It was covered in baby sized beanies just like Spinelli wore in the winter. Pushing the stroller over to the table, Maxie picked up one of the beanies affectionately.

"Let me guess. You want one of these?"

Holding it out to the baby, whose eyes were steadily drooping, Maxie laughed. Caleb's small fingers clutched the fabric as his duel colored eyes fluttered shut.

"Well…I guess we'll need to get a hoodie too…"

……

Spinelli almost fell asleep feeding Caleb. He would have, too, if there hadn't been a loud squeak on the staircase. Jason stepped out into the living room darkness, mostly shadowed. Spinelli could see how he would be quite intimidating in a dark alleyway. Glancing at the clock, Spinelli realized it was almost four in the morning. He groaned.

"Stone Cold…I'm so sorry…Did he wake you up?"

Jason shrugged, turning on a small lamp. "It's okay."

Spinelli shifted the baby's weight in his arms as Jason sat down in the chair next to the couch. His mentor hadn't said anything negative about them still living in the penthouse, but Spinelli couldn't help but feel like he was imposing on Jason's life. Jason couldn't be with his own son, but Spinelli could bring his into the home without much worry. The stoic man never complained though.

Jason watched Spinelli and Caleb for a second in silence. Spinelli felt nervous all of a sudden, as if he was being judged by a much more qualified person. Jason had raised Morgan, known all the tricks of the trade. Spinelli was going on instinct, books, and stuff he found out on the internet when it came to child rearing.

"Took you a while to figure out what he wanted…" Jason mumbled, commenting on the fact that Spinelli had been frantically trying to figure out why Caleb was crying. It was guesswork for the most part. Diaper? Attention? Sick (he hated this thought)? Bottle? Some combination of any of the above? This time it was bottle.

"I'm sorry, Stone Cold."

"No…it's fine Spinelli."

"The Jackal notes he is not the best parent for anyone and he realizes that this factor is impacting your sleep."

Jason frowned. "You're doing fine. Stop putting yourself down."

Spinelli bowed his head and watched Caleb. He hoped Jason was right. "Can you not go back to sleep?"

Pausing, Jason shrugged a little. "Not tired anymore." Spinelli translated that as Jason couldn't sleep. He wondered if his being awake had anything to do with the crying infant in his arms or more pressing matters on Jason's mind. The look in Jason's eyes confused Spinelli. It was obvious he was thinking about something, but he couldn't figure out if Jason was troubled by something with business or his personal life. Often the two intertwined, of course, which complicated things even more.

"Something wrong, Jason?" Spinelli asked sincerely.

Jason shook his head, looking away.

Caleb was done with his bottle, finally, but as soon as Spinelli took it away from him he started crying again. Spinelli felt like a failure, positive that was what would put the baby back to sleep.

"What's wrong, lil dude?" Spinelli asked as tears lined Caleb's strange eyes. It broke his heart seeing him cry.

"Is he sick?" Jason asked. Instantly, Spinelli pressed the Caleb's forehead to his cheek, checking for a fever. He didn't feel one, thankfully. Spinell kissed his son's temple before rocking him in his arms, trying to shush him.

"Here." Reaching out his arms, Jason gestured for Spinelli to pass the baby to him. "You need a break."

Spinelli passed the warm weight over to Jason's awaiting arms, a small grin forming on the corner of his face. Seeing Jason hold his son was very cool. It didn't take long before Caleb's crying ebbed down to a small whine and then ceased altogether. Spinelli was amazed at Jason's insane-baby-whispering-skills.

"Just got to have patience," Jason muttered as he stood, walking Caleb over to the door that led to the balcony.

Spinelli watched them quietly. Jason laughed. "You're kid is giving me this weird look."

"Like he's trying to figure you out?" Spinelli suggested. He'd seen that look a lot. Caleb was mysterious. He always watched, quietly, always pensive. Maybe Caleb was an old soul.

"Yes," he laughed again. "He's sizing me up."

"Uncle Jason vs. Caleb Spinelli…could be an epic battle…"

Jason was quiet, again. "How are things going with Maxie?"

Spinelli resisted the urge to smother himself in the pillows. "…Lustful and yet awkward."

"Don't give up on her. She's special to you." This was said so quietly Spinelli wasn't sure Jason had even said it. He wondered if Jason was even speaking to him in that moment. Perhaps they had come to the real reason Jason was awake at four in the morning.

"Do we make you miserable, Stone Cold?"

"What?"

"Being around…Me and my small one, when you can't be with yours…"

Turning his back on the window, Jason shook his head no. "…I'm not bitter, if that is what you're asking. It's hard sometimes, knowing I don't get the time you do with your son. You should cherish it."

"I do," Spinelli assured him, wanting Jason to know that he didn't take parenthood lightly.

"…Besides…I enjoy the company," He smiled, passing the now sleeping baby back to Spinelli.

"Good to know," Spinelli took Caleb back. "…Although, The Jackal does regret not getting his own casa before Caleb was born."

Jason sat back down on the couch. "What do you mean? I didn't know you were looking for your own place."

Spinelli sighed. "Maxie and I were going to find a place before he was born…we thought we had more time…" He shook his head, remembering how excited they'd been to be moving in together, before they had broken up, before Caleb had nearly died at birth. It seemed like eons ago.

Jason's snickering took Spinelli from his thoughts. "Why didn't you just ask me for a place?"

Spinelli raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

…

The elevator doors began to open with a happy ding as Maxie adjusted her purse. She took a step forward but froze as the doors opened enough to reveal a very strange looking Spinelli leaning against the wall just across from her. He wore a light jacket she'd never seen him in, both arms crossed over his chest. The usual puppy eyes Maxie had grown to love were searing into her, determined. Maxie sucked in her breath without understanding why he was making her feel so anxious by a simple glance.

Frozen in her place, the elevator doors began to close again, but Spinelli reached out quickly and stopped them. Maxie stepped around him quickly to get out of the elevator before it decided to close on her again.

"Okay well, I guess Caleb is inside?" She started heading for the door to the penthouse but Spinelli grabbed her wrist and spun her around. He was standing much too close. Closer than they had agreed. Maxie's high heel rolled once under her as she nervously tried to comprehend his proximity. His hand was traveling up her arm now, softly teasing.

"Spinelli…" She breathed. He shook his head, disagreeing with the hesitancy in her voice. Maxie felt like the hair on the back of her neck stand on end as he brought her closer. Her mind was in full confusion mode but her body took an uncertain step forward and pressed against his.

Maxie dropped her purse when he leaned down and brought his lips to the crook of her neck, kissing her in a place he must have remembered drove her crazy. Almost melting then and there in his arms, Maxie felt her legs quiver underneath her. Spinelli held onto her and continued to devour her neck.

"Spinelli…" Maxie repeated, this time not even sure what she meant in saying his name. More? Less? Go away? Come closer? All of these things and more knitted themselves into the fabric of her tone.

Spinelli pulled away from her suddenly and pushed back the hair on her face. "Quit messin', Maxie Jones."

He came closer to her face intending to kiss her but Maxie tried to regain her control. She stopped him, a hand placed on either side of his face.

"Spinelli…I can't lose you too!" Maxie whispered, tears blurring her vision. His face contracted painfully as if she had stung him with a needle to his heart. Once again, Spinelli shook his head fiercely.

"Don't think. Just, don't think," he murmured softly, leaning in. Magic words. She dropped her hands and he moved closer, hovering inches away from her lips_. This was her choice_ the lingering implied.

So she chose.

Tiny hands tangled in his unruly hair as Maxie kissed him with months of pain and questioning pinned up inside of her. This was so stupid, why had she kept him away? Their lips fought roughly for the flesh that had been denied for too long. For a moment Maxie felt her body lift off the ground as Spinelli pulled her as close to him as he could. They were tumbling backwards now, into the wall across from the elevator. Maxie had him pinned for a moment and he seemed to relish in her enthusiasm. Her feet were barely grazing the ground, Spinelli's arms wrapped so tightly around her small frame.

Maxie didn't know if she could get any closer to him, but damn it, she would try.

"The baby," she muttered, breaking away from their kiss only briefly to breathe before bringing the same torture to his neck that he had delivered to her. Spinelli practically purred.

"Asleep…Jason's playing babysitter," Spinelli laughed and nudged her attention back to him. Maxie groaned.

"He's here?"

Spinelli nodded but grinned slyly. He kissed her again quickly before dragging her to the door across from Jason's place, the penthouse that no one lived in anymore. Spinelli pushed the door open and pulled her inside, quickly turning his attention back to her. Maxie stopped him.

"Can we be in here?" She looked around the room, startled that there was furniture inside what she thought was an abandoned home. There wasn't much in the room but the basics…A couch and a few chairs.

"We can most definitely be in here." Spinelli smiled and kissed her again, this time a smile lingering on his lips, one that she could almost taste. Maxie didn't question him anymore when he did that. She flung her arms around him tightly and rose up so that he could wrap her legs around him. Slowly but surely they made their way over to the couch, collapsing on the soft cushions with Maxie pinned this time. She didn't mind if he took over from here. Spinelli took great care to be gentle with her as they kissed, but Maxie didn't match his pace. She needed him to know how sorry she was they'd ever been apart, to make him understand that it was painful to hurt him.

"I missed you," Maxie murmured, breaking away from his kiss. His breathing was heavy, cheeks flushed. Spinelli's teeth chattered very quickly, nerves taking over.

"Do I scare you, Spinelli?" Maxie questioned. She raked her hands up and under his shirt, taunting his skin that flinched at her touch. It amused her how he could be so passionate and yet as timid as virgin in the same moment.

"Always," Spinelli blinked furiously at her, biting his lip. Damn, she actually did scare him. Her hands traveled up his chest, briefly hovering over his racing heart for a moment. He helped her remove his jacket and shirt before working on her own clothing, their frantic pace back.

It was like being alive again after centuries entombed in some dusty forgotten corner of the world. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and every other fairy tale sweetheart would be jealous of this true love's kiss as Spinelli and Maxie rewrote the book on love making. Each of their touches was unique, containing a different meaning. A flick of a tongue translated into _I love you_; each embrace, _I've missed you. _Friction was a frenzied_ I need you. _

She made him punch-drunk, he made her cry. The last time they'd been this close was a cold, confusing January night. They'd been selfish then, taken from the other what was needed. They just didn't want to be alone. Little did they know, they would never be alone again.

Maxie drew a map for him with whispers and he listened carefully to find the way, always an eager student to anything she wanted to teach.

When she hotly said his name into his neck, Spinelli replied her with, "Speak again, bright angel."

"I'm no angel," Maxie promised, and proved him wrong. Touch. Kiss. Caress. Love. Pacing, breathing, sighing.

It was a while before either of them said anything. Maxie buried herself in his chest, wondering what she had done to have the afternoon turn out so wonderfully. She listened to his heartbeat and was proud that she made it race like that. Spinelli traced circles on her back and watched her.

"Happy Birthday, Maxie."

Maxie smiled. Of course, he would remember.

……

**Author's Note: **

**Guys…I think the next chapter is the last one. **

…**Sitting quietly….**

**Wow. I kind of want to cry. **

**If you really love this story, please review. You don't even have to have an account! Just click review story below and leave some love!**

**Next Chapter: It all ends?**


	39. To Err is Human

**The Luckiest**

**Chapter 39: To Err is Human**

I don't get many things right the first time  
In fact, _I am told that a lot  
_Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls  
_Brought me here_

And where was I before the day  
That I first saw your lovely face?  
Now I see it every day  
And I know

That I am  
I am  
I am  
_The luckiest_

**Dedicated to Evelyn and D-Tepes, who stayed up late to help me write this story, and to all of you who helped me finish with your constant encouragement. You amaze me. This is not the end. **

Lazily getting dressed, Maxie got bored halfway through recovering all her clothes and just settled on pulling Spinelli's jacket on to cover her lingerie. He was asleep, curled into the couch with a throw pillow pressed over his face. Slinking back over to his side, Maxie gently tugged the pillow away from him, leaning in to wake him. She gently blew air in his ear, watching his face crinkle as the stream of breath tickled. One murky green eye peaked open, seeming confused. She smiled as realization dawned on him. He reached out a hand a brushed the side of her face.

With a gentle kiss, Maxie snuggled back onto the couch.

"Victory is mine," Spinelli sighed, closing his eyes again, dreamlike. Maxie giggled. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. It felt good to laugh again.

"Does Jason know you are lurking in his spare penthouse?"

Spinelli tentatively wrapped his arms around her. "Stone Cold would encourage it."

"What do you mean?"

He paused, smiling. "Welcome to my humble abode, a.k.a. Casa de la Jackal."

It took her a minute to realize what he said, but she didn't understand. "What?"

"The Jackal lives here now."

Her mouth fell open. "Jason just _gave_ you a penthouse?"

"…Well…yeah he kinda did. It was just being used for spare storage."

"That's…."

"Sweet?" Spinelli wiggled excitedly. "Yeah, definitely. It has become a nice place to raise our progeny these past few days."

He was grinning like a fool. Maxie didn't know what to say. Spinelli had his own place. There was no Jason in sight, no more pink bedroom. They'd made love in his home….And here she thought they were being kinky, sneaking into a secret residence.

"Spinelli…"

"You know, it could really use a woman's touch," Spinelli tapped the tip of her nose.

Maxie raised an eyebrow, inching closer to his lips.

"Did you have a certain woman's touch in mind?"

"Yes…" he breathed, closing the gap.

"Oh Really…"

He nodded, their noses almost touching. "It has come to my attention that Kate Howard is really good at designing stuff."

"Spinelli!" Maxie slapped his bare chest. Spinelli yelped in pain but was laughing at the same time, his eyes delighted. She rolled her eyes and pulled him in for a kiss, lingering for a moment to enjoy the peace that only being that close to Spinelli could bring her.

When they parted, Spinelli sat up. "What do you say?"

Pulling on the zipper to Spinelli's jacket, Maxie played coy. "What are you asking?"

"I think you know what I'm asking, Sassy Max." Spinelli looked serious. "Why are we doing this ridiculous run around town trading the baby thing? It doesn't make sense. It hasn't made sense. The Jackal…I want you to be with me."

"Spinelli…"

His face fell as if she'd told him he only had days to live. "Maxie…don't take it back. Don't. Please. I thought we connected…"

For a moment, Maxie wondered who was speaking through Spinelli. He was so different. It wasn't even a year ago they mocked one another, the easy girl and the freak. Who were those people? Did they die with Georgie Jones? Or, were those people masks? Maxie felt real for the first time in her life. Spinelli was speaking more naturally, taking control of his life. Maybe they were just the people they were always supposed to be.

"I'm not taking anything back. I'm really tired of pretending I can live without you."

And in a flash, the ghost of Spinelli's worry was gone. He kissed her shoulder, looking at her with a childish gaze in his eyes, the innocence she adored. After everything, he hadn't lost that. Maxie traced the deep scar over his chest where the bullet had passed through him months before. Too close.

Unaware of where Maxie's focus was, Spinelli spoke lightly. "…Something tells me Caleb will be happy about not being traded day in and day out…"

"Caleb!"

"Want me to go get him?"

"Mmmhmm."

Spinelli slowly rose from the couch and threw on some clothes, going across the hall to retrieve their son from Jason, who was probably wondering where Spinelli had gone. Maxie pulled on the rest of her clothes while she waited, already mulling around things in his apartment that needed to be changed. The curtains were drab. She wondered if they had been there for years. The mantle was nice though, it had potential.

A small creak of the door brought her out of her thoughts as Spinelli reentered the penthouse with a bundle of green in his arms, little Caleb dressed in footie pajamas pressed closely to his father's chest. Maxie smiled at the pair of them, the memory and the souvenir.

"Look, Caleb…Mommy found our secret lair."

Maxie skipped over to them. "Awww…He's sleepy."

Caleb blinked at her blearily, unimpressed. His expressions always made her laugh, so serious for such a small person. Pushing the black tuft of hair out of his face, Maxie kissed his forehead. Spinelli gently passed the infant over to her. Maxie bounced him in her arms slightly as she walked back over to the couch, curling up. Spinelli joined her.

"Spinelli, you do realize you haven't called him by anything other than Caleb, right? I mean, Stone Cold, The Blonde One, etc. etc…Does our son get a Jackal name?"

Spinelli watched them both quietly and shrugged. "The Jackal knows a good name when he hears one. Caleb is a good name."

"Well, okay then, Jackal."

Caleb yawned big, still completely unimpressed. Her baby was low maintenance, and she enjoyed that considering how extreme his parents were.

"Maxie…" Spinelli spoke softly.

"Yes?"

A slight pause and then Spinelli replied, a goofy grin on his face. "This feels right, doesn't it?"

Maxie sighed and looked around the room for an answer, scanning the bare walls that were like blank canvases. She gazed out the window at the blue sky, feeling the heavy warmth pressed close to her chest where a small heartbeat pattered away. Finally, Maxie turned back to Spinelli's awaiting stare. He really loved her, didn't he?

"For the first time in my entire life…yes."

......

"Alright, Caleb…Time to observe The Jackal in action. Your most sassy and sexy maternal one decided to go 70 miles per hour in a strictly 55 zone on her way to work this morning…It is my job, nay, my DUTY to rid her of one annoying speeding ticket. Are you ready?"

Spinelli turned excitedly to Caleb's stroller. There was little to no reaction, as per usual. Spinelli laughed at his son's blank stare. He did a few preliminary stretches in his seat (his latest hacking venture would take place in the relaxing family atmosphere of Kelly's) and reached for his orange soda, taking a quick swig. Time for battle. He could hear the Rocky theme song building in his head. Dun nun nun…

As soon as he touched the pads of his fingers to the keyboard, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Spinelli jumped, all the excitement of doing a quick hack flooding out of him in the fear of being caught.

"Spinelli." Mac Scorpio stood by his table, looking stern. Spinelli quickly pressed the escape button on his laptop to end running the program he was planning to use to hack into the police records. It wasn't a really smart idea to try and hack right in front of the Police Commissioner, especially if he was still a little bitter that a criminal had knocked up his only living daughter. One of those 'don't press your luck' situations. Spinelli cleared his throat and smiled widely, probably looking guilty as sin.

"Yes, Commissioner, Sir."

Spinelli waved at the chair opposite him at the table, attempting to be cordial but really hoping Mac didn't want to sit down. They didn't always get along, though it had been a lot better between them in recent months. Mac kept his opinions to himself for the most part, though Spinelli was now able to translate the slight squint of Maxie's father's eyes as being "displeased".

After one of these combination squint/stares, Mac pulled back the chair, raking it noisily along the floor. Caleb watched the newcomer to his father's table with mild interest. Nervous under the watchful stare of his new audience, Spinelli smoothed the hair on his son's head for reassurance. Mac watched this gestured quietly and smiled just a little. Then, his expression turned serious once more.

"Look. You are not my favorite person in the world."

Spinelli nodded, and began to attempt for the thousandth time an explanation as to why he acted the way he did.

"Understood, though I wish--"

Mac held up his hand. "No. My turn to speak." Spinelli slunk down in his seat as Mac continued. "I do not trust you. You work for Jason. You are the absolute last person I would want involved in my daughter's life."

Heat flushed Spinelli's cheeks. "Sir-"

Holding up his hand again, Mac hushed him again. "No. Still my turn. Maxie has been through a lot. She has lost a lot of people. It has been made clear to me that you actually have some…level…of feelings for her, whether I like that or not."

For some reason, that last statement felt like a punch to the gut.

"I love her, Commissioner," Spinelli said, his voice almost cracking.

Mac sighed. It was obvious by his expression that Mac believed what he said, but the knowledge didn't seem to make him feel any better.

"Be that as it may, as genuine as your affections for my daughter might be, you still choose to bring her into your lifestyle knowing full well that there is a risk to her life. And, let's not forget a child is involved now."

Pausing, Mac looked over at Caleb and gingerly adjusted his blanket. The baby seemed fascinated by this sudden attention. Spinelli suspected that Mac and Caleb were going to be very close. That would be good. His son needed to have some sort of grandfather figure in his life. For a moment, Spinelli wished it was his own father sitting across from him, sharing a table at Kelly's, three generations united. He was pulled out of his daydream when Mac continued to speak.

"That child has essentially made it so that I cannot just ask Maxie to leave you. You are connected for life now. It's not my decision to make concerning how you raise your son. If I had my way…" Mac shuffled a salt shaker, shaking his head, and trailed off. "Anyways…Spinelli. I am imploring you to look deep inside yourself. I know you could actually be good for my daughter…but this mob stuff…It will always hinder you from being all you can for her."

It must have been the way Mac was looking at him, or his tone, or something, but Spinelli felt like ice had slipped into his stomach and froze him from the inside. There was such a finality in Mac's gaze, as if he knew something Spinelli didn't concerning the future. Swallowing hard, Spinelli tried to reply.

"…It's just…tech support…"

Mac closed his eyes very briefly in a pained expression. "For Jason Morgan."

Spinelli shuddered a little, a rush of nerves building in his skin just by the way Mac looked. What did he want from him? He was doing the best he could, it had been an overwhelming year, and Spinelli was still adjusting to the radical changes in his life.

"What would you have me do? I can't just leave..." Spinelli said stupidly. His gaze fell from Mac's serious stare, but the commissioner snapped his fingers in front of his nose, snapping him back to attention. Maxie's doting father wasn't going to let him slip out of this conversation.

"Jason Morgan made his choice," Mac whispered with an edge to his voice. "Open your eyes, Spinelli. Things are getting bad out there, and you know it. It's only going to get worse."

This was true. Spinelli knew it was true, he just didn't want to admit it. It meant more than danger. It meant loyalty to Jason. Did Mac understand that? This wasn't easy…Spinelli felt his eyes burning, a swell of emotion rising up inside. Mac had unknowingly tapped into a very deep and complicated question Spinelli had been mulling around in his own mind ever since Maxie had found out she was pregnant—How did the mob fit into his life?

"But…Stone Cold…Jason is my family, Mr. Scorpio."

"Maxie and Caleb are your family," Mac corrected gently. Spinelli bit his lip. He looked at Caleb and wondered if he was already a terrible father, not able to make painful choices because he wasn't brave enough. Or, in this case, Spinelli was making poor choices because he didn't want to disappoint anyone.

"It's not as easy as you make it sound, sir," Spinelli sputtered.

"I _know_ that," Mac annunciated each word softly, gripping Spinelli's shoulder in an almost concerned fatherly way. "But if you make a strong decision now to at least attempt to put distance between you and this madness, you can eventually get out."

Spinelli nodded weakly, burrowing his face in his hands.

"Did you know your father, Spinelli?"

He looked up, meeting Mac's eyes sadly. "No…he died."

"And your mother?"

"She's…" Spinelli began to explain, but didn't know how to answer. "I have no idea. I don't know her."

"Do you wish you could have known them both?"

Andrew Millhouse and Sarah Spinelli, his invisible family. Known them? Spinelli wished he could have just _seen_ them, really seen them. They were see-through ghosts that haunted picture frames.

"…More than words can express, Commissioner."

Mac smiled sadly. "Try. For your son, try."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"I'll never bring it up again. I think we understand each other."

"Most definitely."

They were silent. The conversation was over, and Spinelli knew Mac was serious when he said he would never bring up the subject again. It was time for Spinelli to be a father and make grown up decisions. Mac shuffled a little in his seat, turning to face Caleb. He reached out and plucked the baby from his stroller, and Caleb expression changed from severe boredom to bubbling interest in the arms of the commissioner. Spinelli laughed.

"Wow. He reacted to you."

"What do you mean?" Mac muttered, adjusting the baby. He yanked some car keys out of his pocket and paraded them in front of Caleb's gaze, which delighted the infant.

"He looks mesmerized by you. He's pretty bored with me and Maxie."

"Kids like me." Mac shrugged.

"Caleb, you and Grandpa Commissioner will probably be fast friends."

Mac smiled and continued jingling the keys.

……

Maxie leaned over the edge of Caleb's crib, her head cocked to the side in amusement as she watched her son sleeping peacefully, finally. It had been a long day, and she had worried it would be an even longer night if Caleb decided he wasn't quite ready to end his socializing. A soft shuffle of steps came from behind her as Spinelli entered their bedroom. Their bedroom, what a concept. Their home, their bed, their place to plant seeds and watch them bloom and grow.

"Coming to bed?" Spinelli tugged on the bottom of her soft cotton shirt, teasing her skin with a soft touch. Maxie wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss on his neck, burrowing into their embrace.

"He's finally asleep," Maxie muttered as Spinelli ran his hand over her hair. They were so lucky, Maxie thought. Caleb was stronger every day; Spinelli and Maxie had found a place to flourish and love one another without pretending there were alternatives. Finally, maybe, there could be some quiet in their lives.

"You're a natural, Maxie."

"Mother? Pffff. Hardly."

"Sassy Maxie, you have a deeply caring nature, _whether you want to admit it or not_, and said nature makes you inherently strong in areas such as child rearing. The Jackal knew you would be."

They did an odd shuffle backwards away from the crib and out of the baby's room, never breaking their embrace, heading for their bedroom in an intense dance of pulling and tugging and kissing and breathing. Maxie found herself crashing backwards onto the plush comforter, Spinelli gaining the upper hand in their positioning. He pressed the softest of kisses on her lips, eyes searching hers for permission to trace his hand a little higher under her shirt and up her small frame, which she quickly and eagerly granted.

It was like melting with him, every time. Sometimes like candle wax, a reshaping, molding kind of love. Sometimes like an ice cream in the sun, sticky sweet sugar. Either way, her heart dissolved with each word breathed, each touch tested. Later, when they were busy finding a way to solidify again, Maxie wondered how this man had come into her life.

Spinelli was watching her with a small grin on his face, tracing a shape on her bare shoulder. Maxie pulled the blankets up around them and found a place to rest her head on his chest.

"You really are a good mother, Maxie," he muttered quietly. "I don't know why you seem to doubt that…"

"You lying suck up. I'm winging this whole parenthood thing and you know it,"

Spinelli kissed her forehead. "I guess you are blind to just how amazing you are with him."

Sighing, Maxie played with a stray thread on the edge of the blanket. "I have to work hard at it just to counterbalance all the bad I will inevitably bring to him, what with me being cursed and all."

"Cursed?" Spinelli laughed. He didn't grasp what she meant.

After a long pause, Maxie answered him bluntly. "There's a trail of dead and suffering following me, Spinelli."

"You aren't cursed, Maxie," Spinelli sounded indignant, tightening his arms around her.

"…BJ…Georgie…My mom…and dad…Jesse…" Maxie grumbled. Feeling Spinelli shaking his head in disagreement distracted Maxie long enough to make sure that each face didn't cross her psyche for too long, lest bitter memories ruin a good evening.

"Mac. Robin. Sam. Caleb. Me," Spinelli rattled off, emphasizing the "me". He cleared his throat loudly, shifting to look her in the eyes. "If you're cursed…how do you explain us?"

"A fluke," Maxie tried to joke. She averted her eyes and stammered. "Or…"

"Or what?" Pushing the hair out of her eyes, Spinelli wanted to make sure she couldn't escape him.

Her lips would be bruised the next morning, surely, with the pressure she was causing as she pursed them together, trying to not let her voice break or a tear to fall from her eyes.

"Borrowed time," Maxie admitted sadly. As happy as they were, as lucky as she felt, Maxie couldn't pretend she would be surprised if it all came crashing down in a moment, whenever the world decide she'd had her fill of fortune.

Spinelli scoffed. "You will have to introduce me to your Time Loan Officer. There's some stuff I've always wanted to do and if The Jackal could just borrow some time to accomplish it all…"

"I'm not joking."

His voice lowered. "I know you're not. Look, Maxie…The supernatural has nothing to do with it. Black magic, curses, voodoo" Spinelli waved his hands over his head. "…There is nothing in the world that has singled you out and deemed you unworthy."

Maxie let silence be her response.

"If it takes the rest of my life to do so, I will prove to you that you can be loved." He said seriously. "Well, assuming you would even want me around the rest of your life."

The genuine intent that sparkled in his eyes and in his words allowed Maxie to quietly accept the terms of his promise. He might be disappointed by it all one day, but Maxie would selfishly allow him to try and teach her the world had opportunities for her, for them.

"I never want to be without you again. My life doesn't work without you," she let the words that had been stuck in her heart for a while tumble out freely. "Because…With you…I feel like I'm beating the odds. Like I'm lucky…"

"Fortune Favored Spinelli…that's what they call me…"

Electricity hummed in the air around them. She pulled him to her, needing to taste him one more time. As always, he obliged her enthusiastically. As they pulled apart, Maxie wondered if it would be possible for them to freeze that night for a while, just a little while.

"I love you," she breathed.

"I love you, too," Spinelli replied, then collapsed into his pillow laughing softly.

"What's so funny?"

Poking her on the nose, Spinelli grinned sheepishly. "Are you a mirage? How are you real? The Jackal, assassin of the internet, socially misunderstood nerd managed to find a beautiful & ferocious creature to call his own…In what world?"

"In _this_ world," she teased.

For a moment, Spinelli simply laughed quietly with her watching in amusement. The electricity was back though as his expression changed. Instead of being the focus of Maxie's gaze, Spinelli seemed to be examining her in a new way.

"What?" She questioned.

Still, he silently watched her, biting the corner of his lip, thinking. Maxie couldn't help but feel a little nervous as he fidgeted a little.

"Seriously, Spinelli, why are you looking at me like that?"

Ignoring her, Spinelli sat up and reached over to the nightstand. He felt around in the top drawer, opening a small dented pencil box inside. A glint of light sparkled in the dim room. Spinelli let it sit in his hand, weighing the small object as if it was all he had in the world of any value. Slowly, Spinelli turned his hand just enough for Maxie to see what it was he was holding so delicately.

It was a small, gold hoop earring. The earring she thought she'd lost the night they slept together the first time, the missing piece to a set Georgie had saved up for just for Maxie's birthday. She thought it was gone, lost and forgotten a long time ago.

Maxie swallowed. "Wow…where did you find that?"

Spinelli was quiet as he looked at the tiny piece of jewelry.

"On the floor the day after we…you know…" he shrugged.

She sat up, pulling the blankets around her frame. Maxie held out her hand for the earring, expecting him to hand it over to her, but Spinelli kept his gaze lowered and rolled the gold his hand. Dropping her hand, felt that electricity run through the air again.

"I thought I lost it…it was a gift from Georgie."

Spinelli sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You kept it all this time? Why?"

"I don't know," he shrugged again. A light laugh flitted through him. "A weird souvenir? I kept meaning to give it back to you…"

"But…?" Maxie pressed him.

Spinelli still wouldn't look at her. She could see a small pink blush rising in his cheeks.

"But I kept it…" explaining slowly, Spinelli examined the earring closer. "I thought it was the only thing of yours I would ever have. I was... confused the day I found it, feeling all these weird things. I was confused, and the confusion just grew stronger…I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense. It's just an earring."

Maxie held her breath. Finally, Spinelli met her confused and waiting stare.

"I think I can give it back to you now. I know…" He laughed, a relief in his voice Maxie hadn't ever heard before. "I don't need a keepsake with the memory in my arms."

He gently took her hand in his. Maxie was confused as to what he was doing. Bringing her finger to his lips, Spinelli kissed them softly, looking into her eyes. He lazily looped the hoop around her ring finger where it dangled loosely, like she was wearing a ring that was too big for her. A strange laugh escaped Spinelli, like he enjoyed the glint of gold against her skin.

"Maxie…" he breathed her name.

"What?"

He adjusted the earring on her hand nervously. "Do you want to marry me?"

As realization dawned on her of what he was asking, Maxie could almost hear Georgie's sweet laughter, her cosmic amusement like a thick static in the air. Every breath and every move had led her to this moment, to this man. She'd seen faces fade away and blur, mundane choices affecting larger errors. Maxie believed it was all one tragedy after another without a design, but how wrong her assumptions had been.

"Yes, I want to marry you, Spinelli." And she did, she really did. Not because of the baby, not because of a sense of "doing the right thing"...Because every fiber in her being wanted to make a promise she could keep, forever. His eyes sparkled at her steady answer. Maxie met him halfway in a kiss so intense she wondered if she had ever really been kissed before. Was it possible to taste love? Probably, since every other one of her senses seemed to have no trouble registering the emotion. She saw it, felt it, smelled it, heard it…of course you could taste it. This was it, on the tip of her tongue devouring her and she had no choice anymore, didn't want a choice, glad that something finally seemed to be perfectly planned.

Maxie _understood_. Every wound had a reason, now. Her life had been hard, but without the hurting, would she have trekked out on a cold January night and met the only other person in the world just as lonely as her? A connection, a life, a bloodline, and a love had been created because of pain, the "curse" she hated so much.

Was it a plan of fate? Some divine scheme? Poetry? Organized chaos? Or, perhaps Maxie was taking her love story and making it more special than it really was. Maybe it was simply human error and a bit of dumb luck that caused Maxie and Spinelli to stumble into fortunate circumstances.

No, no. That wasn't it.

It _might_ have been an unforeseen miscalculation, but, and Maxie finally was sure of this…it had never been a mistake.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**(There is a lot from the first two chapters referenced in this chapter.)**

**One year later and I finally have completed a story that began as a mere musing in my head last winter. Look how far we have come! I had the pleasure of writing this fic at the same time that Spinelli and Maxie developed as a couple for real on the small screen. I really want to thank everyone for making this writing experience as pleasurable as it has been. The story is no shorter or longer than I wanted it to be. It feels whole and truly complete in my heart, and I can ask no more of it. **

**Oh, and if you want a sequel, now would be a good time to mention it. Just because a chapter has ended doesn't mean the story is over, if you know what I mean. There's always more to tell if someone wants to sit around the campfire with me some more. **

**Thank you for reading. I love this story. It has been my pride and joy for a long time. I know how many people read this fic and it would be absolutely stunning and wonderful if I could hear a reaction from all of you. What do you say? Click review below and leave this fic a proper goodbye? **

**With Love and Respect for those who stayed on the journey,**

**Lindsay/Seeker-2000**


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